Can Women Emotionally Detach Like Men?

[Nina_deF]

It means it was really good!! LOL


They definitely can! The guy can be really cool, easy to hang around with.. But for whatever reason.. sometimes, just isnt the "right" time for a relationship.

And some men aren't even cool to hang out with, in fact, I've had men who I have asked not to open their mouth (their stupidity can ruin it) so there's nothing to get emotional about.

And in my experience it's the majority of men who get clingy and emotional. It seems like men need a woman more then we need a man.

Oh and I'm a sagittarius so it's all about me!

 

[bluediamond0829]

When I was younger no I couldn't, but now that I'm older I can.

 

[MD_Lady]

I doubt I could pull it off because, in that scenario, I'd probably have a pre-existing relationship (friendship or acquaintance) and would have to detach myself from that. Hypothetically, if I were truly looking for something that was just physical and didn't have a pre-existing relationship with the person, I could keep it up. It's all about being honest with yourself up front about what you really want from that person and your interactions with them. I think most people (this includes men) can't pull off long-term FWB because they already have a fondness (not necessarily romantic) for the person and, because of that, another bond gets created when things get physical.

 

[LilMissRed]

oh yes! its def possible. some women can be/are worse than men

 

[ebonylocs]

I think women say that they can, but I don't believe it. I just dont.

When, oh, when will we learn that everyone on the planet is not like us.

Not all men emotionally detach. They can be very emotional, touchy feely, clingy stinkers who won't let go even when it's long over.

And in my experience it's the majority of men who get clingy and emotional. It seems like men need a woman more then we need a man!

I agree. IME, women tend to emotionally detach easier than men. Men tend to cling and think they own you once you let them in that way. I have known a number of girls (European, so maybe it's cultural) who simply view sex as a fun thing to do, and got it on with whoever they liked whenever they liked. And they were girls who knew they eventually wanted long term relationships and marriage WITH THE RIGHT GUY, at the right time. When they got to that stage and found that guy, they settled down. No emotional issues.

I am capable of it. (Also an Aquarian). But it is not something I have done often simply because I am very physically fastidious, and also very selective about who I spend time (on any level) with. Not because of an inability to emotionally detach. That is, if I don't love or like a guy, having sex with him WILL NOT make me love or like him. (Doesn't he still have whatever undesirable trait made me think he wasn't boyfriend or husband material? How would sex change that?)

 

[Hairsnob]

I'm enjoying reading all of the responses and I find it so interesting to hear the different views.

However, the women who say they CAN detach, can you say you've been able to do it when seeing that person EXCLUSIVELY and over an extended period of time?

I myself can't do it. I remember thinking I could do it before but ended up catching feelings.

 

[Nina_deF]

I'm enjoying reading all of the responses and I find it so interesting to hear the different views.

However, the women who say they CAN detach, can you say you've been able to do it when seeing that person EXCLUSIVELY and over an extended period of time?

I myself can't do it. I remember thinking I could do it before but ended up catching feelings.

Yes I can.
I actually had one dude, absolutely beautiful, what one would think that a Swedish God would look like, tall, GREAT body, stupid as the day was long.
Not mean, just totally without intelligence. Realll nice and pretty good in bed.

We actually shared a huge house (with 4 other dudes while I was in college (late 80's)) and we'd all spend hours preparing for a night out together at home then go our seperate ways, they were all hardrockers, I'm all R&B.

I am a flirt but I don't pick anyone so for about 6-7 months I'd party then go home and take from him what i needed before I went up to my room.

Convinient.

Then I moved on.
He was a ho'. After seeing the 3rd new girl in his bed I got bored and unexcited. Most men are sluts but I seeing these poor girls with stars in their eyes hoping for affection was a turnoff.

He is still a good friend though!

Some men are just good for one thing.
There is always the right one for them but just because the whole package is not for me doesn't mean I should have to not enjoy the parts that are for me.
You know, while we're waiting, so to speak.

 

[ebonylocs]

However, the women who say they CAN detach, can you say you've been able to do it when seeing that person EXCLUSIVELY and over an extended period of time?

I will say, I've never done that.

I also think that is not the usual M.O. of girls who view sex as a fun activity not necessarily linked to love. Those types of girls usually have a number of guys that they call on, and they will add to or subtract from the list over time. Or even if it's one guy at a time, they move from guy to guy regularly.

I think if a woman is sleeping with one guy exclusively for a long time, it's likely that:

1) She already from the outset felt some type of affection / liking for him, which might grow into more over time, or

2) She has no other options, which is dangerous, because it could make her get clingy and desparate.

In (2), it's not that she really "catches feelings" for that particular guy, it's just that she gets dependent on what he provides, and she needs someone, anyone.

I agree with those who said that it is not possible to have successful FWB relationship with someone you already like and wouldn't mind (or would like) having a relationship with. For women OR men. That's just fooling yourself, and you will get hurt.

 

[MzLady78]

I definitely agree that it's easier when you're not just dealing with that one guy. I've found myself hoping and wishing I could meet someone else to help take some of that time and attention away from that particular person.

Unfortunately, finding one guy that I vibe with well is hard enough, asking for 2 or more is like asking for world peace. Sounds good in theory, but not bloody likely.

 

[Bmack]

Come on now, I understand that not all females are like me, but I just do not believe that it is possible. In all of my experience, I have seen women claim this, but still start being attached somehow.

They say, I am doing me, but a month goes by and they are lamenting about such and such aint call back or they want some more of the same slick...um, why if your not attached...hmmm, I aint buying, what ur selling

Lets just agree to disagree, you feel they can and I don't...see we're still alive

When, oh, when will we learn that everyone on the planet is not like us.


I agree. IME, women tend to emotionally detach easier than men. Men tend to cling and think they own you once you let them in that way. I have known a number of girls (European, so maybe it's cultural) who simply view sex as a fun thing to do, and got it on with whoever they liked whenever they liked. And they were girls who knew they eventually wanted long term relationships and marriage WITH THE RIGHT GUY, at the right time. When they got to that stage and found that guy, they settled down. No emotional issues.

I am capable of it. (Also an Aquarian). But it is not something I have done often simply because I am very physically fastidious, and also very selective about who I spend time (on any level) with. Not because of an inability to emotionally detach. That is, if I don't love or like a guy, having sex with him WILL NOT make me love or like him. (Doesn't he still have whatever undesirable trait made me think he wasn't boyfriend or husband material? How would sex change that?)

 

[Hairsnob]

Yes I can.
I actually had one dude, absolutely beautiful, what one would think that a Swedish God would look like, tall, GREAT body, stupid as the day was long.
Not mean, just totally without intelligence. Realll nice and pretty good in bed.

We actually shared a huge house (with 4 other dudes while I was in college (late 80's)) and we'd all spend hours preparing for a night out together at home then go our seperate ways, they were all hardrockers, I'm all R&B.

I am a flirt but I don't pick anyone so for about 6-7 months I'd party then go home and take from him what i needed before I went up to my room.

Convinient.

Then I moved on.
He was a ho'. After seeing the 3rd new girl in his bed I got bored and unexcited. Most men are sluts but I seeing these poor girls with stars in their eyes hoping for affection was a turnoff.

He is still a good friend though!

Some men are just good for one thing.
There is always the right one for them but just because the whole package is not for me doesn't mean I should have to not enjoy the parts that are for me.
You know, while we're waiting, so to speak.

Thanks for sharing this. Sounds like it was a VERY convenient situation LOL. But I bolded something that seemed to kind of tie into your emotions. Wouldn't you say you felt some kind of way seeing the girl in bed with the guy? I mean, if it were just the sex would you really care? I know most men can know a girl sleeps around and still get some and not think twice or get turned off if they're just there for the sex.

 

[Sui Topi]

I can't, sex is way too spiritual for me. The only way I could is if the sex was wack but then what's the point? When it's good, I get really, really open. Sometimes I feel like the coming down is the best part, just lying there beside him tingling and breathing deep lol. At that moment I feel like I want to be everything for him and can do anything for him so I can't imagine just walking out afterwards or just pretending like it was nothing.

When I lost my virginity, I was one of those stupid girls who fell in love with a friend who wasn't really taking me serious. I thought in my teenage stupidity that he would realize how I felt about him since I was giving it up to him. Didn't work lol, but surprisingly I got over it. Probably because the sex was wack and he didn't hit that switch to get me feeling open now that I think about it lol.

 

[Imani]

I think its very very possible, absolutley, I know for me it is. I've done it, but I had multiple dudes on deck tho. I think for me to just be with one guy and detach it has to be someone who is just gorgeous and great in bed but with whom I am not friends or see any potential in at all and all we do is get it in. (Hypothetical situation, I'm over casual sex at this point in my life).

And since yall calling out zodiac signs, I'm an aquarius lol.

 

[Nina_deF]

Thanks for sharing this. Sounds like it was a VERY convenient situation LOL. But I bolded something that seemed to kind of tie into your emotions. Wouldn't you say you felt some kind of way seeing the girl in bed with the guy? I mean, if it were just the sex would you really care? I know most men can know a girl sleeps around and still get some and not think twice or get turned off if they're just there for the sex.

No emotions, I was just nastyfied.

Now if I didn't see it and wouldn't know about it it might have been different.

It was really kind of nasty to see someone elses underwear upside down next to his bed. What I didn't realize though is that he was looking for love and because of his stupidity, all he thought he had going for him was his looks and body.

Then again, I am pretty spoiled, most men want to have relationships when I meet them. Not because I'm a perfect catch, they just seem to want to be ½ of a couple. So when I have had my black-book-men, they have been exclusive to me, and me to them because I don't like to be intimate with multipal at the same time.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

i do it all the time and don't give a dayum. in fact, i often times look down on them once i'm done with them. call me the ice queen, but i don't love them hoes......

and here's the kicker. they seem to wanna come back .....as if they enjoy being treated like garbage....lololol....

 

[simone103]

I think it's very possible for some women to detach their emotions from sex like men. I think most of the time it boils down to what type of personality the person has. Some women have more of a masculine energy just like some men have somewhat of a feminine energy, and sometimes opposites attract. I have met more than one man and have male friends who cannot have sex with a woman and not catch feelings or want more from her. But, from what I have observed of these men is that they tend to have a somewhat feminine energy.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Ive done it with absolutly no problems and the sex was the bomb too.

 

[Hairsnob]

No emotions, I was just nastyfied.

Now if I didn't see it and wouldn't know about it it might have been different.

It was really kind of nasty to see someone elses underwear upside down next to his bed. What I didn't realize though is that he was looking for love and because of his stupidity, all he thought he had going for him was his looks and body.

QUOTE]

Good point on the bolded. It seems that's how guys are, they don't necessarily want to know any details about your other men/relationships if they're just sleeping with you. So I guess that's their defense system (women too I see now). LOL

 

[Hairsnob]

i do it all the time and don't give a dayum. in fact, i often times look down on them once i'm done with them. call me the ice queen, but i don't love them hoes......

and here's the kicker. they seem to wanna come back .....as if they enjoy being treated like garbage....lololol....

You go girl!! Give em a taste of their own medicine LOL

 

[Imani]

I think its very very possible, absolutley, I know for me it is. I've done it, but I had multiple dudes on deck tho. I think for me to just be with one guy and detach it has to be someone who is just gorgeous and great in bed but with whom I am not friends or see any potential in at all and all we do is get it in. (Hypothetical situation, I'm over casual sex at this point in my life).

And since yall calling out zodiac signs, I'm an aquarius lol.

D&mn, I just re-read my response, and I know I said I'm over casual sex, but this sounds like a pretty good look right about now. Sheeeeet. :scratchch

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

Women can absolutely detach …

 

[zzirvingj]

What is it with Aquarians?

 

[daydreem2876]

What is it with Aquarians?

I really wish I knew but it is so innate I can't explain it... its just what I do. It think it becasue we have a hard time letting others get attached to us in so detach is easy.

 

[MizAvalon]

Yes, they can.

 

[MissGomes]

Well since we are talking about signs... Im a pisces (I dont know what that means to you guys)... but uh... I can detach. And we (pisces) are supposed to be the epitome of "love". But since we all being honest over here... I LOVE SEX! I love my body and I love to see a sexy man! I love passion!! So its easy for me.

A man that I am attracted to or that has a nice personality does not equal OMGoodness I want him to be my man... it JUST means "he's cool". People can be sexually attracted to each other without wanting a relationship.... I mean.. really.. what if behind the scenes.. he's a coach potato who is a dumb as a door knob... but when you guys hang he makes you laugh and he's slanging!! Uh.. does that mean I want to boo boo him?? HECK NAW! But if he looks like some of the guys in the "Would you hit it" thread... well then... It mayyyy be on dear!! LOL

 

[filthyfresh]

Another Aquarius reporting in.

I think we learn the difference between sex and love a lot earlier than other signs. There's plenty of guys I would have sex with, but there are very few that are deserving of my love. My heart is held to a bit of a higher regard than my body. I know that sounds bad or like I don't care about my body. I do care about my body but I'm more worried about loving the wrong man than having sex with the wrong man. Feeling a little guilty for sleeping with a guy pales in comparison to getting over a heartbreak IMO.

For me (& a lot of Aquarius women I've come across) sex is like exercise. It's a mental challenge moreso than a physical/spiritual act. We're pretty good at it & it serves as a way to feed our ego. It takes a lot for us to truly get into the emotions of sex because we struggle with emotions in the first place. So yes, we can have sex with someone with little to no attachment because we view it differently depending on who it's with. Sex with someone we love is different than someone we're just physically attracted to. It's not necessarily a masculine way of detachment but it is similar.

 

[SND411]

Of course. I think many can, but society wants to preach to us that it is impossible because men do not like being treated the way they treat women.

 

[ChasingBliss]

For me? It's possible, but only in the short term. I tend to compartmentalize my life in neat little boxes so when I was single I could certainly enjoy the company of a man then move right along. Even see him with another chick and not bat an eye.

Yeah, that is definitely the key word in this whole thing...being able to compartmentalize your emotions. Those who are able to do that well have this game on LOCK.

Anyone willing to sell the potion? *sigh*

 

[babyb900]

Another sagittarius checking in. I do it all the time. I'm selfish and I dont want anything tying me down. Give me what I want and get out. I might even offer you some water afterwards, just to be nice.

Then again, I have more than one guy, so that makes it easier.

 

[ctosha]

Yes it is most def. From 18 to 22 I was the hit it and quit it type. I was satisfied then went bout my biz until I needed another fix. I had a couple of prospects on rotation at the time. At the time I saw all the relationship drama my friends would go through and I said "hell no" that aint for me. From 22 to 26 was in a relationship Now at 27 years old I'm past that stage of hit it and quit. I want to date for a purpose now.