2016 Relationship And Dating Thread

kupenda said:
Two weeks ago a guy at Starbucks approached me. He asked about my life and blah blah blah. He said he's seen me there many times before. Turns out we have running and a love for the outdoors in common. Oh and being totally judgy in public. We're good at that. Anyway, he said twice during the conversation that he was late for work but couldnt bring himself to leave because he was having so much fun talking. His boss called and he had to leave but he asked to meet me there again soon. I agreed. The next two meetings are more of the same. Chatting, people watching, etc. At the end of the last one, he asks to meet me there again soon and says my coffee is on him. He also says we can pick a place to run together and get lunch afterwards. But im getting a little annoyed since all of our convo has been platonic and he hasnt made it clear what he wants. I cant tell if he *likes likes* me, but i know he likes me in general. I appreciate the lunch date and all, but why not ask for my number? Anyway, the day we are scheduled to meet again comes and he doesnt show. If he had my number he could have called. But he doesnt. That was wednesday of last week. I havent decided if i want to go by Starbucks tomorrow around the time we originally agreed on to see if he will show up. Im kinda in my feelings because im really not looking for a new male friend. Especially since i find him attractive. But he behaves like he just wants a new friend. I'd rather go back to my solo coffee trips than spend the whole time talking to him or anyone else. Men -__-
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When a guy likes you romantically you know. You feel it. He stood you up once already. I'd cut my losses and move on. There are other men out there who won't leave you guessing. :yep:
 
caribeandiva said:
When a guy likes you romantically you know. You feel it. He stood you up once already. I'd cut my losses and move on. There are other men out there who won't leave you guessing. :yep:
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I second this.
I am very direct though so would you tell him before cutting him off? Maybe he doesn't know what to think on how to approach you about dating...?
 
movingforward13 said:
I second this.
I am very direct though so would you tell him before cutting him off? Maybe he doesn't know what to think on how to approach you about dating...?
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He knows what he's doing. Trust. Men are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. If you feel compelled about telling him you're cutting him off then take a step back and ask yourself why? What are you hoping to accomplish or have happen by telling him? I mean there's a reason you want to cut him off in the first place. In my experience it doesn't really help in the long run. It might fix the offending behavior temporarily but not for long. Save your breath and energy. Less talking. More showing. Actions speak louder than words.
 
I don't mean tell him she is cutting him off. I mean tell him she likes him/ is interested. Maybe he isn't picking up the clues (some guys are dense/ afraid of being rejected). If she were more direct, he would know without question and she can evaluate his actions from that point before deciding what to do.

I am a person who doesn't waste time, so I don't advocate a woman wasting hers on someone, especially if she has a goal like marriage. HOWEVER, something I have realized after years of dating... People aren't mind readers and some men are dense. A LOT of men are afraid of rejection. Men have feelings too and sometimes they rather protect their ego than put themselves out there. For me, the direct approach has worked. If a man wasn't on the same page- thank you because we didn't waste time and I don't ever have to live with the what ifs.
 
movingforward13 said:
I don't mean tell him she is cutting him off. I mean tell him she likes him/ is interested. Maybe he isn't picking up the clues (some guys are dense/ afraid of being rejected). If she were more direct, he would know without question and she can evaluate his actions from that point before deciding what to do.

I am a person who doesn't waste time, so I don't advocate a woman wasting hers on someone, especially if she has a goal like marriage. HOWEVER, something I have realized after years of dating... People aren't mind readers and some men are dense. A LOT of men are afraid of rejection. Men have feelings too and sometimes they rather protect their ego than put themselves out there. For me, the direct approach has worked. If a man wasn't on the same page- thank you because we didn't waste time and I don't ever have to live with the what ifs.
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Oh ok. I see your point now. Some men really can't tell sometimes when a woman is interested. It is risky telling him but it beats months of regrets by not telling him. I say go for it.
 
Another great night. I feel like his feelings have changed about me again. For example, the night we became "official," I felt like his feelings changed about me and I was right. He became more attentive, clingy and was "ready" to make it official.

Today we spent the day together, working from home since we won't be seeing each other that much going forward. I basically work 6 days a week now and he is at the hospital most days. Son was at daycare so we spent quality adult time together, talking, laughing, giggling and "coloring", which I really needed. On my way to pick up my son, he gave me his credit card to get food so didn't have to cook tonight. When my son came back home, he played 4 rounds of video games with us before leaving out to the hospital. Think family game night with the Mario Party 10 for Wii (side note, I highly recommend this game for game nights with friends and family- super fun).

On his way to the door, he kissed me in front of my son... something he hasn't done before. Then went to say bye to my son (semi hug) then kissed me again at the door on his way out. I got the feeling like he didn't want to leave, especially since we agreed we won't see each other til Sunday, if that. He gave me "I am comfortable" vibes. Like he is ok showing me affection in front of my son now and he feels accepted by my son to relax and be himself. The vibe is different from say a month ago when it was stolen kisses at the door while my son wasn't looking. I feel like he is thinking long term now, even though he hasn't expressed it yet.
 
The last two weeks have shown me that I could actually lose him. I think I took it for granted that I could act any kind of way and he would always be there. I think sometimes we, well I, forget that I have the power to break his heart.

I've been making a concerted effort to let him know how appreciated he is.
 
Phoenix14 said:
The last two weeks have shown me that I could actually lose him. I think I took it for granted that I could act any kind of way and he would always be there. I think sometimes we, well I, forget that I have the power to break his heart.

I've been making a concerted effort to let him know how appreciated he is.
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All relationships are give and take. Try and find your happy medium again
 
My boo is really a character. The more I'm around him the more utterly hilarious I find him to be. We went out Monday night and he filled in for his friend who is a manager. It's young upcoming artists and his job was to make sure they get into the club and get their little 10 minutes on stage. When we got there, he sees them with an entourage and he's like "what's wrong with ninjas, they ain't big yet, you gotta humble them, *** they coming with a crowd of people, ya'll opening up for Kirko Bangz, ya'll ain't the headliner" The way he managed them and kept the order that night was just too funny.
 
Having a hard day today. I am PMS-ing something serious. My back hurts, my tummy hurts, my tiddays hurt, I'm bloated and lethargic while on 24 hr call. Most of all in a huge funk cause I can't just call him and unload and let him comfort me like he always does. No more parking lot dates when I am on call where we steal kisses, and laugh and I get to take my mind of work for a couple minutes.

I'm really trying to keep it together like a big girl.

This sucks.
 
I love surprise visits. Wasn't expecting to see him until Sunday. He called me last night around 630 making casual conversation, then asked me if he could stop by. I said sure- thinking he just left work and I had an hour to get ready... NOPE. He rung my door bell 5 minutes later. So he left work early and already had it in his mind that he was coming over.

He spent two hours with us, then left to go to the hospital. His dad may be coming out today and hopefully things can return to normal some.
 
i was on my way to bed but something told me to get on facebook and i ended up going to an ex's page, the guy i lost my virginity to. it was blank as if he'd made it private and it had "remembering" over his name. my stomach dropped but i tried to convince myself it was some sort of joke because he does/did **** like this. i went to his sister's page and saw that he'd died a few weeks ago. he committed suicide. he was one of the funniest, most outgoing, charming people i've ever met in my life. he was an ******* but a lovable one.

i can't get over the fact this happened right in my back yard. we have been living in the same city for months, hundreds of miles away from where we met, just minutes away from each other and i had no idea.

i never thought i would see or speak to him again but i can't wrap my mind around it not even being a possibility.
 
Oasis said:
i was on my way to bed but something told me to get on facebook and i ended up going to an ex's page, the guy i lost my virginity to. it was blank as if he'd made it private and it had "remembering" over his name. my stomach dropped but i tried to convince myself it was some sort of joke because he does/did **** like this. i went to his sister's page and saw that he'd died a few weeks ago. he committed suicide. he was one of the funniest, most outgoing, charming people i've ever met in my life. he was an ******* but a lovable one.

i can't get over the fact this happened right in my back yard. we have been living in the same city for months, hundreds of miles away from where we met, just minutes away from each other and i had no idea.

i never thought i would see or speak to him again but i can't wrap my mind around it not even being a possibility.
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I'm sorry for your loss.
 
@Oasis something similar happened to my sister. On my birthday 2 years ago I was freaking out because I was turning 30 and wasn't where I thought I should be in life. She told me I should be grateful I get to see 30 because that morning she found out on Facebook that her ex had died a year ago in a car accident. He was 27. That sobered me up. I don't take birthdays or aging for granted anymore.
 
Guess whose son just asked her boyfriend to move in with them. And guess how wide my mouth dropped... My son said he wants boyfriend around so we could play video games more together. It was sweet and innocent from my 5 year old but very unexpected and timely since he and I were discussing marriage today.
 
Officially been on three dates with new guy since Sunday and one is scheduled for this weekend. I like him but he's an Aries so he's kinda intense. As a generally mild mannered Pisces, its a new experience.

Its very clear he cares about me. All his coworkers know and he's affectionate with me in front of them. He wants me around and has pretty much given me full access to everything in his life.

Im on my cycle and im really trying not to get too physical too soon after its over because my hormones have been raging. I mean, on the brink of some foolishness and pulling myself back by the skin of my teeth. Sheesh
 
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