2016 Relationship And Dating Thread

frogkisses said:
As long as you mean Los Angeles and not Lousiana then yassss I'm all up in here! We can get our tan on with some mimosas :toocool:
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oh i meant Los Angeles.
i know, i know....it's really thee most random spot for a black family reunion. i was like, who made this decision?? :lol: none of y'all is even from LA? but okay.
 
That man is good for something- I have been in an increasingly bad mood since Monday (unrelated) and it all broke last night. We had a long conversation and I felt better at the end and when we first talked- I didn't even want to talk to him.
He said I brought him positivity at a time when he really needed it and so he wanted to remind me of all the things I should be happy about in life. He also opened up about some closure items related to his mom and I am proud he is taking that step.

So.... 32. Didn't start it the way I wanted but it is ok. Gonna be more selfish for the next 365 days. Going to focus on myself and my wants. Going to hold back my feelings for others- I swear people are passive aggressive as fluck and just do sh!t to piss you off. I am debating whether to cut a 14 year friendship off for good right now. Part of it is because I am in my feelings- but the other half is because after all this time, I realize how selfish she is. I have never really had the focus on me because she always manages to turn the topic to her. I am so hurt right now and it is like she doesn't even care. She hasn't even picked up the phone or nothing. I am always the one initiating and keeping our "friendship" together.
But then I will get some dumb a$$ text message or phone call months later talking about she misses me, we need to talk, and more BS. Maybe it is time that our friendship ends for good.
 
Finally get to see him tonight glad he's still coming even though my AC is out. He also stated he wanted to be home while they came so he can see what they're doing looks like this may turn out to be a good weekend after all.
 
So I am back on the dating scene (online for now until I am done testing). Lee knows- this meaning that I was upfront with him. He doesn't agree with it but his actions aren't saying anything compelling to me. Now that the shock and awe wore off, I am ready to see what else is out there. Not only that but his father is sick again and has been to the hospital twice already. He doesn't have time for a relationship and I am just not feeling it any more. He is still trying to come by and see us, but I view him more as a friend now versus that guy I was madly in love with. Not sure where the feelings went but they kinda disappeared. Very strange. This was the best relationship and easiest breakup I have ever had.
The kitty kat is locked back up (which means I didn't color on my birthday *tears*). It is ok- I have my g-spot rabbit BOB. Gonna practice my kegels and use that as necessary. I passed my last exam so I have one more until I am a CPA... *eeeekkkk* After I am done studying, gonna get back in the gym and finally have a social life so I can meet men in the DMV offline. I guess this is my last post here for a while- thank you ladies for your eyes and advice.
 
Of course some dingbat screwed up my last name. I screen shot him, the gaffe and he said, "I'm going to have to change your last name baby." I was like.... :2inlove: :eek: :cloud9: I just responded all cool with the heart emoji eyes.

I was complaining about the apartment we looked at last night because these older white people were monopolizing the landlord's time as if they just knew the apartment would be theirs! :mad:

I filled out the app and put SO as my emergency contact. In the car, he asked me why I didn't put him as the co-applicant. He has an over 800 credit score, and mine is in the 600's. He was like it would make the app stronger. I don't like anyone co-signing, but it meant a lot to me that he even mentioned it. It made me tear up, and then.... :blondboob:

Last week he wanted to take a trip to Tiffany's to look at a ring and I postponed it. Like, I really have butterflies. I was married before. I like how things are. I love that biscuit head! I'm rambling. :giggle:
 
Fine 4s said:
@Lucie

SCREAMING.....you BETTER GET YOUR *** TO TIFFANY'S TONIGHT. UGH!
Nou la nap fout tan maryaj epi wap ranse. Merde!!!!
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LOL! Pa bat mwen!

Actually, I really like how things are. I know some women say that don't want to get married because their man doesn't want to. But I really am content with being his partner as-is.

I am more receptive to getting married (in the future) but I have some things I want to accomplish for myself. First thing is moving into this new apartment this month. Next, is saving for a condo. I start school (for the last damn time until I finish) on the 29th of this month. I know, I can do these things while married. At thirty-seven I feel sad I did not finish my degree years ago. And sometimes the comments people make about people going back to school, "late," discouraged me. But my life is no one's democracy. I have so much more life experience. I still feel young! I am so much more determined. I believe in myself. I no longer feel like a loser with no mom, so woe is me. **** anyone that made me believe I was less than.

The last time I married I was twenty. I didn't have my sh*t together (being so young) with lots of hearts and stars in my eyes. I had a lot of baggage. I caused my ex a lot of pain, because I was in pain.

Now, I have improved my credit from the crap it was and it is steadily increasing. I have gotten lower quality items and people out of my life. I stand up for myself. I don't go along, just to go along anymore. I am still nice... but I just don't take sh*t. I'm kinda in love with myself. Like really in love! Like really, really, really in love.

Many things are falling into place for me, and I really want to keep going. Coming back to the forum after a year hiatus has really inspired me through you all. The stories, the failures, the joys, the candor, the love. It inspires me daily.

Maybe... one day we will marry but I am still childless (and have more time to myself to achieve my goals) and am determined more than ever to improve my life on all levels! If we get married, I will change my last name. I will make him the happiest husband alive! If I remarry I will be the Lucie I've always believed I would be and I will be complete not because of him, but because of me.

Why the hell I am sharing this, I dunno. Maybe I think y'all are my diary. :lachen:
 
you know you got a real one when you randomly do a big chop to the scalp a second time "because it's hot" :look: and he still looks at you like you're the baddest in the room.

not them "ohhhhh baby you look cute with your big head, lemme help you pick out a wig till it grows back" vibes my ex gave :lol: but those long looks that tell me he still genuinely thinks i'm beautiful/sexy. and offering to line up the back of my neck for me so i don't have to step into the barber shop. #blacklove :2inlove:
 
I wouldn't. I don't think marriage should be an ultimatum. Spending more time together, stopping a destructive habit etc. are ultimatums in a relationship but not marriage.

I would tell him that I want to be engaged within the next 6 months and married within the 6 months following that and that I need a partner who is on the same page. If it is not something that he can provide for me within the next 6 months that we may need to go our separate ways so that we can both be aligned with persons who fulfill our wants and desires.
 
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UGH! I feel bad but I just recommended a slight ultimatum. She said she doesn't want that approach. They talk future talk though but he's just not moving yet and it's been 4 years and he just turned 40, she's 36, none of them have children. I'll leave it alone.

Please don't quote, she big into hair she might find this post. LOL
 
@Fine 4s I deleted my quote. If I were her, I'd quietly start to date other people and segue myself into another relationship. At 32, knowing that I want marriage and children, I wouldn't be playing this song and dance for 4 years. Does he have commitment issues? I'd think a 40 year old man would know what he wants.
 
@LiftedUp
Thank you for that.
I don't know much about him so I can't answer that. I do know that they talk about their future together, where they will live, babies etc. He tells her that he will marry her but that she should be patient.
 
@Fine 4s She should just leave. Marriage is not his goal, at least not with her. He thinks he can stall and stay in his comfort zone where he knows he has a woman who loves him but he doesn't have to make the ultimate commitment.

I had to end things after a few years with my ex and he went ballistic. I never gave him an ultimatum but I knew at least a year and a half before I left the relationship that he was all talk. If he valued marriage and family he would have made it a priority to propose and set a date.

Oh, and this man was 43. :rolleyes:
 
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