@Lucie
SCREAMING.....you BETTER GET YOUR *** TO TIFFANY'S TONIGHT. UGH!
Nou la nap fout tan maryaj epi wap ranse. Merde!!!!
LOL! Pa bat mwen!
Actually, I really like how things are. I know some women say that don't want to get married because their man doesn't want to. But I really am content with being his partner as-is.
I am more receptive to getting married (in the future) but I have some things I want to accomplish for myself. First thing is moving into this new apartment this month. Next, is saving for a condo. I start school (for the last damn time until I finish) on the 29th of this month. I know, I can do these things while married. At thirty-seven I feel sad I did not finish my degree years ago. And sometimes the comments people make about people going back to school, "late," discouraged me. But my life is no one's democracy. I have so much more life experience. I still feel young! I am so much more determined. I believe in myself. I no longer feel like a loser with no mom, so woe is me. **** anyone that made me believe I was less than.
The last time I married I was twenty. I didn't have my sh*t together (being so young) with lots of hearts and stars in my eyes. I had a lot of baggage. I caused my ex a lot of pain, because I was in pain.
Now, I have improved my credit from the crap it was and it is steadily increasing. I have gotten lower quality items and people out of my life. I stand up for myself. I don't go along, just to go along anymore. I am still nice... but I just don't take sh*t. I'm kinda in love with myself. Like really in love! Like really, really, really in love.
Many things are falling into place for me, and I really want to keep going. Coming back to the forum after a year hiatus has really inspired me through you all. The stories, the failures, the joys, the candor, the love. It inspires me daily.
Maybe... one day we will marry but I am still childless (and have more time to myself to achieve my goals) and am determined more than ever to improve my life on all levels! If we get married, I will change my last name. I will make him the happiest husband alive! If I remarry I will be the Lucie I've always believed I would be and I will be complete not because of him, but because of me.
Why the hell I am sharing this, I dunno. Maybe I think y'all are my diary.