2014 What's Happening in Our Relationships?

[Fine 4s]

Lesson learned: When someone's romantic intentions are clear an align with your intentions/goals, the relationship naturally gravitates towards that goal. BUT, when one person's intention is unclear or has not been communicated/shared or s/he hasn't figured it out, that's when aspects of the relationship can get messy and fraught with confusion, uncertainty, disappointment and fear.

This is the only red flag I need to sail my love ship...Avoid the storm Fine 4s.

 

[DarkJoy]

Uh oh! What's up DarkJoy?

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE!
Well the buying company offered him him a job via email that saturday. Because he didnt like their practices and because they offered him off business hours, he replied with a scathing email, refused the job and burned a bridge in the process.

So he quit during the holidays with no other opportunities in sight. Was that wise?

He came over for thanksgiving as we planned but I wasn't into it. He trying to plan weekend dates. The whole thing is a turn off. Not into it.

 

[Briabiggles]

DarkJoy

That was. Dumb move! No need to burn bridges. He might have been able to negotiate a better deal. I'd be irritated with him too.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[DarkJoy]

DarkJoy

That was. Dumb move! No need to burn bridges. He might have been able to negotiate a better deal. I'd be irritated with him too.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

Thank you for your bluntness! Briabiggles. He coulda kept the ish till after the holidays. Ain't too many jobs hire during xmas season.

And that ninja bedda not think he gone come up in here and eat for free when his savings starts getting low cuz we know that unemployment isnt enough.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

DarkJoy is he for real right now? Men and their logic smh.

 

[qchelle]

Darkjoy, why did he do that?

 

[DarkJoy]

DarkJoy is he for real right now? Men and their logic smh.

Right whosthatcurl?! The ninja texting me all day cuz he ain't got ish to do is annoying as f..k too. How about pounding that pavement, foo?

I mean he is sweet and all. Buys me stuff (but not lately obviously), very attentive, loving but this decision has me one foot out the door. It was an emotional decision and one not made the way a breadwinner would make it.

 

[DarkJoy]

Darkjoy, why did he do that?

He didnt like the new owner. Said she was obnoxious maybe racist and thought the benefits sucked.

And please lets not add into it that its harder for older ppl to get employment. It really is after 50. This situation is not cute.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

I guess he better start his own business then.

 

[TayMac]

Right whosthatcurl?! The ninja texting me all day cuz he ain't got ish to do is annoying as f..k too. How about pounding that pavement, foo?

I mean he is sweet and all. Buys me stuff (but not lately obviously), very attentive, loving but this decision has me one foot out the door. It was an emotional decision and one not made the way a breadwinner would make it.

I was leaning towards his side before the update...and thought you were giving him a hard time. Nah, you were right.

 

[sky_blu]

I know it's petty BUT It really annoys me when we go out and he gives me the money to pay. Yes I know he's paying but it LOOKS like I'm his sugar momma. And yes I know I shouldn't care what ppl think...which mostly I don't but it annoys me.

I guess that's what I normally think when I see women paying on dates is bothering me...off to the movies!

 

[Oasis]

he's ragging me about finding a job and i don't understand why. it's not like i'm asking him for money or just sitting around the house all day. i do go to school full-time.

i know i need a job but i don't want to do the kind of lame, unfulfilling work im qualified for. i hate the typical 9-5 and i definitely am in no mood for the interview process, in fact i'm dreading it! my pits are sweating just thinking about it.

but yeah, it's been exactly one month since i've officially been unemployed and i've applied to maybe 3 places.

 

[SuchaLady]

Oasis What are you getting your degree in? Im going on 7 months with no job; Im over it. Im sooo ready to go back to work. Im in school full time as well.

 

[Fine 4s]

He's still thinking....

 

[Oasis]

Oasis What are you getting your degree in? Im going on 7 months with no job; Im over it. Im sooo ready to go back to work. Im in school full time as well.

SuchaLady, mph in epidemiology. i'm getting restless and i actually WANT to work but i don't want a typical job and i definitely don't want to interview. i wish someone would just offer me a job without the formal interview process.

 

[SuchaLady]

SuchaLady, mph in epidemiology. i'm getting restless and i actually WANT to work but i don't want a typical job and i definitely don't want to interview. i wish someone would just offer me a job without the formal interview process.

Oasis That's a good field! You sound like me I don't want to interview either but at this point Id cry tears of joy if someone called me By month 4 I was over it

 

[Lilmama1011]

I still don't feel I can talk to him if I have a problem relationship wise. I hate confrontation 100% and try to avoid it! It's even in my zodiac sign lol. Every time when I vent, it gets heated and I regret saying anything. It's like forget my feelings and just as long as it's quiet, be grateful for that. All of that plays a role in my mood and he wonders why I never want to color. I go through the day acting as if things are great and then when I think about my worries when I'm alone in my thoughts, I'm not so happy anymore

 

[Briabiggles]

I still don't feel I can talk to him if I have a problem relationship wise. I hate confrontation 100% and try to avoid it! It's even in my zodiac sign lol. Every time when I vent, it gets heated and I regret saying anything. It's like forget my feelings and just as long as it's quiet, be grateful for that. All of that plays a role in my mood and he wonders why I never want to color. I go through the day acting as if things are great and then when I think about my worries when I'm alone in my thoughts, I'm not so happy anymore

If you're not happy and you can't talk to him about it maybe it's time to go separate ways. I don't know how long you've been together. A mediator might help you talk to him without it getting heated.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[Bublin]

I still don't feel I can talk to him if I have a problem relationship wise. I hate confrontation 100% and try to avoid it! It's even in my zodiac sign lol. Every time when I vent, it gets heated and I regret saying anything. It's like forget my feelings and just as long as it's quiet, be grateful for that. All of that plays a role in my mood and he wonders why I never want to color. I go through the day acting as if things are great and then when I think about my worries when I'm alone in my thoughts, I'm not so happy anymore

Sounds silly but have you talked to him about the fact you can't talk to him? Explain that it's not personal but you have this issue with confrontation which then makes you bottle things up. Tell him that inside you're feeling sad because you find it difficult to express yourself.

 

[Lilmama1011]

Sounds silly but have you talked to him about the fact you can't talk to him? Explain that it's not personal but you have this issue with confrontation which then makes you bottle things up. Tell him that inside you're feeling sad because you find it difficult to express yourself.

Yeah I did and we still get into a heated argument. His problem is he don't take responsibility for what he does. It's ALWAYS "It's Because Of you" meaning me. I don't start yelling until he does . I don't say you, I always say I like it's my problem but end up getting fingers still pointed at me

 

[Lilmama1011]

If you're not happy and you can't talk to him about it maybe it's time to go separate ways. I don't know how long you've been together. A mediator might help you talk to him without it getting heated.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

Yeah, I'm done telling my business in real life. For people to throw it back at you when their situation is much worst. And i have thought of the separate ways thing but it's not that easy when you don't think it's enough to call a quits when he could do so much worst like cheat and beat the crap out of you.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Yeah, I'm done telling my business in real life. For people to throw it back at you when their situation is much worst. And i have thought of the separate ways thing but it's not that easy when you don't think it's enough to call a quits when he could do so much worst like cheat and beat the crap out of you.

Totally understand, but communication is SO important in healthy relationships.

 

[Bublin]

Yeah I did and we still get into a heated argument. His problem is he don't take responsibility for what he does. It's ALWAYS "It's Because Of you" meaning me. I don't start yelling until he does . I don't say you, I always say I like it's my problem but end up getting fingers still pointed at me

He sounds narcissitic...it's always someone else's fault, never admitting to anything. Read up on that Personality Disorder and if he fits it.....run.

 

[Bublin]

Yeah, I'm done telling my business in real life. For people to throw it back at you when their situation is much worst. And i have thought of the separate ways thing but it's not that easy when you don't think it's enough to call a quits when he could do so much worst like cheat and beat the crap out of you.

Yep, he sounds like a Narc and you sound like the victim of one. I said the same thing about my ex. Infact I wished he hit me or cheated because that way people would understand what I was going through. When the abuse is phsycological other people don't get it and you suffer in silence because you're fed up of trying to make others understand.

 

[Briabiggles]

Yeah, I'm done telling my business in real life. For people to throw it back at you when their situation is much worst. And i have thought of the separate ways thing but it's not that easy when you don't think it's enough to call a quits when he could do so much worst like cheat and beat the crap out of you.

I don't mean on here. I'm talking about a professional.

Just bc someone doesn't beat the crap out if you doesn't mean you can't do better. Relationships don't have to be so stressful!

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[krissyhair]

I need a place to vent. My best friend ain't got time for all this.

I made a friend online in June. Our school encouraged us to meet our future classmates on Facebook before we all got together in real life.

He and I had an instant connection and started to text and talk all summer. I thought we would be best friends. School started and I hardly ever saw him. Every time I invited him somewhere he flaked.

Now over thanksgiving break he texts me and decides he wants to be all in his feelings. He says he likes me and never wanted to hang out because we're classmates and he saw how our other classmates have hooked up and now can't even look each other in the eyes. I've seen it too. Our school is very intimate and students spend a lot of time together. They should warn us how sexual relationships can ruin an academic environment.

I haven't been alone this year though. I've been on a few dates with some quality men from outside the school. Once I thought my from my classmate's behavior that he didn't want to be friends I didn't think twice about him.

Now it's the end of thanksgiving break and I'm suffering from a little bit of normal depression and exhaustion from the time of year, food, family, and final exams on the horizon. After sleeping all last night and all day today trying to get my last few sleep binges out of the way before school starts again, I know he invaded my dreams.

But I ain't got time for him just like my bestie ain't got time to hear about him. We could have been cool all year and his excuse is that he didn't wanna mess it up between us. I'm juggling a 65 hour work week and two other nice young men and he wants to jump in all of a sudden. Maybe it's too good to be true because I'm having a hard time believing him and his intentions.

 

[deltadreamland]

Hey ladies! So after a breakup a year ago and taking the past year off from ALL men and dating to clear my heart, emotions, etc... I will probably be back in here again-with a completely different person of course. I'm being "cautiously optimistic" if that makes sense. He understands. Stay tuned.....

 

[NGraceO]

I need a place to vent. My best friend ain't got time for all this. I made a friend online in June. Our school encouraged us to meet our future classmates on Facebook before we all got together in real life. He and I had an instant connection and started to text and talk all summer. I thought we would be best friends. School started and I hardly ever saw him. Every time I invited him somewhere he flaked. Now over thanksgiving break he texts me and decides he wants to be all in his feelings. He says he likes me and never wanted to hang out because we're classmates and he saw how our other classmates have hooked up and now can't even look each other in the eyes. I've seen it too. Our school is very intimate and students spend a lot of time together. They should warn us how sexual relationships can ruin an academic environment. I haven't been alone this year though. I've been on a few dates with some quality men from outside the school. Once I thought my from my classmate's behavior that he didn't want to be friends I didn't think twice about him. Now it's the end of thanksgiving break and I'm suffering from a little bit of normal depression and exhaustion from the time of year, food, family, and final exams on the horizon. After sleeping all last night and all day today trying to get my last few sleep binges out of the way before school starts again, I know he invaded my dreams. But I ain't got time for him just like my bestie ain't got time to hear about him. We could have been cool all year and his excuse is that he didn't wanna mess it up between us. I'm juggling a 65 hour work week and two other nice young men and he wants to jump in all of a sudden. Maybe it's too good to be true because I'm having a hard time believing him and his intentions.

Bahaha at the bolded.

Sounds to me like he may be experiencing the same symptoms that you are which maybe predicated his words.

If he is being truthful, only time will tell(along with evidence or lack thereof from his actions).

Sounds like you have a ton on your plate, so it should be no trouble to continue to do you. He doesn't deserve any of your energy, because up until now, he's really only given you lip service.

 

[krissyhair]

Bahaha at the bolded.

Sounds to me like he may be experiencing the same symptoms that you are which maybe predicated his words.

If he is being truthful, only time will tell(along with evidence or lack thereof from his actions).

Sounds like you have a ton on your plate, so it should be no trouble to continue to do you. He doesn't deserve any of your energy, because up until now, he's really only given you lip service.

You're right. Only time will tell. We'll see what happens.

 

[Allandra]

We had so much fun preparing and celebrating Thanksgiving together. I'm looking forward to Christmas now.