2014 What's Happening in Our Relationships?

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DarkJoy said:
Well crlsweetie912 and Briabiggles I take the conversation with a grain for now.

We are both in the midst of finalizing our divorces (did I hear an lhcf gasp? :lol: life ain't perfect, my ex has been in an intense relationship the whole 5 years of our separation. Nobody curr ). Coffee has been separated 5 years also. His ex is 2000 mi away.

We both agree that once those are final, this spring for him & summer for me, we won't be ready immediately to tie the knot. We will need a few months breathing space after the ordeals.

However marriage is officially on the table now when it wasn't at all when we met going on 8 months ago.

And to think, I just wanted to get laid when we met :giggle:
Click to expand...

Ahem.......no L-words were exchanged during this marriage talk.....
 
DarkJoy said:
Well crlsweetie912 and Briabiggles I take the conversation with a grain for now.

We are both in the midst of finalizing our divorces (did I hear an lhcf gasp? :lol: life ain't perfect, my ex has been in an intense relationship the whole 5 years of our separation. Nobody curr ). Coffee has been separated 5 years also. His ex is 2000 mi away.

We both agree that once those are final, this spring for him & summer for me, we won't be ready immediately to tie the knot. We will need a few months breathing space after the ordeals.

However marriage is officially on the table now when it wasn't at all when we met going on 8 months ago.

And to think, I just wanted to get laid when we met :giggle:
Click to expand...

This is interesting. I will be following this saga :yep:
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Ahem.......no L-words were exchanged during this marriage talk.....
Click to expand...

See!!! He did say before that saying the L word early runs men off, meaning him. But then said that it was perfectly great after a few months and looked at me. Pausing. I looked at him too like so :look: :look:

He went on to say other things like how proud he is of me for doing certain things with my life

I swear this is a bizarre contest of wills....why are we so stubborn?! Neither one of us wants to break first!! Egads...

I'll be watching my saga too faithVA and crlsweetie912. Lawd help me :lol:

Eta. He also made sure to re iterate that we are officially locked down. No seeing others
 
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DarkJoy said:
See!!! He did say before that saying the L word early runs men off, meaning him. But then said that it was perfectly great after a few months and looked at me. Pausing. I looked at him too like so :look: :look:

He went on to say other things like how proud he is of me for doing certain things with my life

I swear this is a bizarre contest of wills....why are we so stubborn?! Neither one of us wants to break first!! Egads...

I'll be watching my saga too faithVA and crlsweetie912. Lawd help me :lol:

Eta. He also made sure to re iterate that we are officially locked down. No seeing others
Click to expand...

Lmbo.....you'se married nah! Rotflmbo! !!!!!!
 
DarkJoy!!! Congrats :giggle

Last night i made ribs for the first time in my life. Beer baked pork ribs and he devoured them. I am not a good cook by a long shot but recently i have had the urge to be in the kitchen...and i am actually enjoying myself. My SO will eat almost anything though so he isnt a good judge but im happy that he will at least eat my cooking. He enjoys being a guinea pig.
 
DarkJoy My ex and I were the same way. I thought I was going to burst if I didn't say the L word.

One day he left a note in my purse saying, I Love You.....after that we couldn't stop saying it to each other.
 
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See, now everytime he makes a giant move forward like he did this past weekend he retreats for a while. It's been silent all day.... :ohwell: I give him his space, though. As hard as that is. I aint chasin no ninjas into the darkness. :lol:

I think I'm just having some kind of withdrawal. We were together ALL weekend.... ALL WEEKEND. And talked everyday faithfully for months and months...and I'm trippin. See? I'm babbling now...

So I'll just go...
 
As I've stated previously, work has been hell for the past few months. And I got sick at the start of my busiest part of the year. Monday was my first day back to work and it was just awful. I had to go in the bathroom a few times just to get myself together so I wouldn't break down.
Who is waiting at my door for me whe I come home....MR.! He said I know you needed a hug. I love you and I'm proud of the strength you have been showing in these less than perfect situations.
:cry2:
He left work on a break to come encourage me........
 
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How much longer am I supposed to hold this in? This thing that I am most certainly not feeling I mean :look:
 
DarkJoy said:
How much longer am I supposed to hold this in? This thing that I am most certainly not feeling I mean :look:
Click to expand...

If you are talking about the L word my opinion is not popular. If it is at the tip of your tongue say it. I've done it in the past and had no regrets. My ex actions showed me that he loved me and I finally just said it. We aren't together anymore but we definitely loved each other. Personally I think it's unfortunate in general that people feel that they can't express their love first out of fear of rejection.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I got told off via text. Like I give a F.... I'm living a fulfilled life. I'm not going to let this non-factor mess up my day. :lachen:
 
tinkat said:
If you are talking about the L word my opinion is not popular. If it is at the tip of your tongue say it. I've done it in the past and had no regrets. My ex actions showed me that he loved me and I finally just said it. We aren't together anymore but we definitely loved each other. Personally I think it's unfortunate in general that people feel that they can't express their love first out of fear of rejection.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

I really like the way you think.
It's at the tip of my tongue now. I almost said it last night. I don't want to be vulnerable though. :look: I would never say it first.

He's going on a ski trip this weekend with some of his buddies. I'm going to miss our lazy weekends and I'm strangely anxious about his safety.
These softie thoughts are quite inappropriate for a thug :lol:

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Rocky91 said:
I really like the way you think.
It's at the tip of my tongue now. I almost said it last night. I don't want to be vulnerable though. :look: I would never say it first.

He's going on a ski trip this weekend with some of his buddies. I'm going to miss our lazy weekends and I'm strangely anxious about his safety.
These softie thoughts are quite inappropriate for a thug :lol:

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

Aw thanks! I use to be hesitant of that based off of what others said. But my friend from hs use to always push me to do things I was hesitant to do. I remember writing a letter to my crush and we saw him in the hall and she literally pushed me in his path. Now my crush and I never got together and I always said never write letters but I look at it differently now. We were meant to be friends. Oddly enough throughout college and afterwards we communicated with eachother. We go periods of time of not speaking but I would definitely see him as a friend.

The same friend that pushed me in my crush path encouraged me to say I love you to my ex my Freshman year of college. She said you been with him that long and haven't said it! You need to tell him you love him and stop playing. I did it and have no regrets. He felt the same way and I already knew it.

I feel like society teaches us to not be vulnerable on top of our life experiences. But if you think about it, love is not that complicated. We make it that way lol. I guess as time has gone by it more simple bc to me love is a choice. I've learned that when you love someone it's just that. No expectations or conditions. You love yourself enough that there are no conditions how you give. But I think boundaries are important too. I wouldn't waste time on toxic people. I've done enough of that in the past.

My SO was the first to say I love you and he did say it quick. But I notice he is not so verbal, more action which I've grown to appreciate. He is not a mush but so supportive. Just yesterday he was happy bc I was happy. I've been a little down. He told me that when I'm not happy he isn't and it affects his business. My goal is to always be a positive light that shines on him. It made me think that women have so much more power than we think as a whole. It's sad to think that many think they have to manipulate in order to have
"power".

I really appreciate him, he goes out his way to make sure I'm taken care of. He surprised me with pretty yellow roses and sunflowers. He told me it took him 15 minutes to pick the flowers lol bc he didn't want to get typical red roses. I found that hilarious bc the day before I was in the store looking at how I wanted some flowers and said twin would take forever picking out flowers. He takes 15 minutes to pick basic socks.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Thug life Rocky91! I've always been the same.

I know what you are saying @tinkat. Thing is, I've only been IN LOVE once in my life with my exhusband. I fell in love with him at 17. 24 years later and it feels....yeah... like Rocky said vulnerable. To the point of feeling RAW. I think I need time to process my feelings and maybe drop a little more baggage. When I'm ready I KNOW it'll pop out. But obviously the time is not now. And yea, the feeling IS simple but the rest not so much. I wish the rest of it were so black and white.

Oh and I asked him out for the first time (besides his bday) last night!! Why was I so scared he'd say no after all this time?! I'm a hot arse mess :lachen:
 
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My ex (who I haven't spoke to in months) told me off something terrible this morning. I couldn't stop laughing. Like It was 2am and I was in my bed like :lachen: "Tell me why you mad, son!"....
 
tinkat said:
Aw thanks! I use to be hesitant of that based off of what others said. But my friend from hs use to always push me to do things I was hesitant to do. I remember writing a letter to my crush and we saw him in the hall and she literally pushed me in his path. Now my crush and I never got together and I always said never write letters but I look at it differently now. We were meant to be friends. Oddly enough throughout college and afterwards we communicated with eachother. We go periods of time of not speaking but I would definitely see him as a friend. The same friend that pushed me in my crush path encouraged me to say I love you to my ex my Freshman year of college. She said you been with him that long and haven't said it! You need to tell him you love him and stop playing. I did it and have no regrets. He felt the same way and I already knew it. I feel like society teaches us to not be vulnerable on top of our life experiences. But if you think about it, love is not that complicated. We make it that way lol. I guess as time has gone by it more simple bc to me love is a choice. I've learned that when you love someone it's just that. No expectations or conditions. You love yourself enough that there are no conditions how you give. But I think boundaries are important too. I wouldn't waste time on toxic people. I've done enough of that in the past. My SO was the first to say I love you and he did say it quick. But I notice he is not so verbal, more action which I've grown to appreciate. He is not a mush but so supportive. Just yesterday he was happy bc I was happy. I've been a little down. He told me that when I'm not happy he isn't and it affects his business. My goal is to always be a positive light that shines on him. It made me think that women have so much more power than we think as a whole. It's sad to think that many think they have to manipulate in order to have "power". I really appreciate him, he goes out his way to make sure I'm taken care of. He surprised me with pretty yellow roses and sunflowers. He told me it took him 15 minutes to pick the flowers lol bc he didn't want to get typical red roses. I found that hilarious bc the day before I was in the store looking at how I wanted some flowers and said twin would take forever picking out flowers. He takes 15 minutes to pick basic socks. Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

Just as careful and purposeful in choosing his mate :)
 
How do I feel him? It's like we have this connection. I cannot tell you how many times I have discussed him on here and he will call/text me. If we actually go somewhere separate I can tell he has walked in the building. I don't see him, hear him or smell him but I just have that little knowing that he is there. So many times we call each other and the phone goes straight to VM and it turns out we are calling each other. He is really not a man I thought I would fall in love with but I did. He said he always knew we'd be together but life sure is funny.

ETA: My cousin called me yesterday and told me she had a dream she came to see me in my new home and she heard a baby cry. She said I brought out me and SO's 9 month old son and that he was so cute with his little onesie, linen pants and loafers. He had a curly Mohawk like his dad and looked like a spitting image of SO. :rolleyes: Apparently I was annoyed in her dream that the baby was 100% all his daddy. She said I looked great and was so happy. :lol: Off to Google what that means! My dad said he had a dream about me eating fish in Haiti. :lick: I don't think he knows what dreaming of fish means or he wouldn't be laughing so hard. Off to Google...............
 
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I forgot to mention that SO and I went to my dad's house to pay bills for him while he was away. It was so cute, I had the checks lined up, bills in order, and he wrote them all out for me (my dad already signed them before he left), sealed them and we tackled some more things around the house. Tomorrow we will sweep the sidewalk and driveway for my dad. So excited to pick up trash! LMBO!!!
 
we watched fat sick and nearly dead and now he wants us to try a 60 day juice fast. how i got pulled into this i don't know. i have done fasts before and even was vegetarian for a few months but never a 60 day fast. He is a meat and carb type of guy and doesn't even like vegetables. this will be interesting i will tag along for support and encouragement since this is something he really wants todo. He is really excited about it.
 
mallysmommy said:
we watched fat sick and nearly dead and now he wants us to try a 60 day juice fast. how i got pulled into this i don't know. i have done fasts before and even was vegetarian for a few months but never a 60 day fast. He is a meat and carb type of guy and doesn't even like vegetables. this will be interesting i will tag along for support and encouragement since this is something he really wants todo. He is really excited about it.
Click to expand...

i really like this documentary. i drink green or carrot juices 3-4x a week b/c of that film. it's a great challenge but I would start off slow, like 1 day, 3 days, 7 days, 15days, etc.

mallysmommy
 
I am in the process of starting the new year good by getting rid of some old relationships and giving them the deuces.

I cut one older dude off that I met online and had been dating for 7 months. He seemed nice at first but he wasn't serious, no intentions for what direction we were headed in, he was very vulgar and nasty with some of the things he would say, and what was the last straw was when he stood me up for brunch and just figured I would wait for him for 45 minutes to get there and like I didn't have anything else to do. Oh and he told me Happy Founder's Day on the wrong day.(so obviously you don't know me very well and its not like I'm throwing up and saying I'm in this sorority but get it right).

Then the big major one is the one I've been seeing for 4/5 years and he's been playing a cat and mouse game and being manipulative. He cuts me off for some stupid reason and then a day or two days later he thinks everything is cool and he can come back. Well guess what too much of that bull ish and kick rocks.
 
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