2014 What's Happening in Our Relationships?

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I just totally ruined Valentines day.

Classic case of intended to dial best friend to vent and accidentally dialed bf. :(. I'm in bed crying. He doesn't even want to see me tonight cause he feels some type of way.

Like I really hurt that I hurt his feelings. :(
 
He's cooking for me. I'm scared and touched lol so thoughtful and sweet!
And then I have a spa date on Sunday :)

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
LovelyLouboutin said:
I just totally ruined Valentines day.

Classic case of intended to dial best friend to vent and accidentally dialed bf. :(. I'm in bed crying. He doesn't even want to see me tonight cause he feels some type of way.

Like I really hurt that I hurt his feelings. :(
Click to expand...

:bighug:

Thats really unlucky. Hope you can sort it out soon.

Was it something you'd aleady talked to him about?
 
this negro!!! I love him so much. he showed up to my job with balloons and a charm bracelet then asked my boss if he could steal me away for the night!!!!! I couldn't stop blushing. my boss was like "yeah sure....(side-eye)" lol I don't care they can kiss it! we are in the car now. not sure what he has up his sleeve or where we are headed...still no "l" bomb but its alright.
 
I didn't get to spend Valentines with my SO. We both had to work and I didn't want him to drive the 2 hours after his long work day just to see me for an hour before I went to work. I did wake up this afternoon to the sweetest message though. He doesn't have to be here to make me feel special. :cloud9:

Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
[USER=26733]Sumra[/USER];19664617 said:
:bighug:

Thats really unlucky. Hope you can sort it out soon.

Was it something you'd aleady talked to him about?
Click to expand...

Don't quote

No, Valentines day was jut falling apart and he was trying so hard to not let it fall apart. I don't do change well so I was stressing and I would have rather us just cancel Friday and set up reservations for today where stuff can run smoothly. But instead of clearly explaining it to him....I held it in to let him try to work it out. I called my best friend and was explaining what happened and I said "you know I don't do this stuff well. I'm over it". I dialed my bf and not my best friend. He was like "oh you're over it? Well I'll just turn around and go hm then". I apologized and tried to explain that I didn't mean I was over him or this relationship. Jut that everything was falling apart and nothing was going the way we wanted etc and it was stressing me.

He got of the phone. I called him back a few min later and he said how he really tried to make the night special (drove over an he to get my gift) and even though the snow messed up his original plans he was still trying to make the night special. I asked him where he was and said I would come to him but he said no cause he's feeling some type of way and it wouldn't feel right.

I'm crying all over again retelling the story.

I messed up bad. I know. (No need to tell me that).

If anyone has any ideas how I can fix this they are greatly welcome. He is a great, sweet and caring man and I want him in my life for the long haul.
 
I'm kind of confused, but maybe I missed a post.... How did you think you were calling your Bestfriend if your boyfriend picked up? & why did you start talking about your boyfriend negatively when you didn't even have confirmation that you were talking to your Bestfriend?
 
Maybe it's just me, but when I call someone they have to pick up and reveal their voice in order for me to start talking and having a deep conversation. That's why I'm lost.
 
LovelyLouboutin A few suggestions

1. You should figure out why you held back your feelings about what was happening and decided to dial your friend. Tell him. I'm assuming that maybe there was some kind of fear there (not ruining his moment, not liking to open up etc..). Maybe not, but if there was one then let him know.

2. Preferably I think its best to acknowledge that you should have gone to him first about a worry for reassurance and also that you will do that in the future.

3. I see you have already tried to explain the way he misunderstood the "i'm over it" part. Did he believe you? If not, think about what you did mean and how to put it across in the best way next time you speak. I'm guessing you meant "I'm over the stress of it"? I'm not sure, but whatever it meant plan how you're going to explain that.:yep:

4. Because of all this you are going to come across ungrateful for the effort he made to make the day work. It's best to turn the focus away from your stress and emphasize how grateful you are for the efforts he went to. Further than that, what a great man he is in general.

5. TIME. He probs needs to cool off atm which is ok. Use this time to collect yourself for the next time you talk through it. Personally I'm quite emotional so I also have learned to take time to sort through stuff so they come out in an easy to understand manner. :look:
 
AHeadOfCoils said:
I'm kind of confused, but maybe I missed a post.... How did you think you were calling your Bestfriend if your boyfriend picked up? & why did you start talking about your boyfriend negatively when you didn't even have confirmation that you were talking to your Bestfriend?
Click to expand...

Because I hit the (what i thought was my best friends name) in my recent call list.
 
[USER=26733]Sumra[/USER];19665445 said:
LovelyLouboutin A few suggestions

1. You should figure out why you held back your feelings about what was happening and decided to dial your friend. Tell him. I'm assuming that maybe there was some kind of fear there (not ruining his moment, not liking to open up etc..). Maybe not, but if there was one then let him know.

2. Preferably I think its best to acknowledge that you should have gone to him first about a worry for reassurance and also that you will do that in the future.

3. I see you have already tried to explain the way he misunderstood the "i'm over it" part. Did he believe you? If not, think about what you did mean and how to put it across in the best way next time you speak. I'm guessing you meant "I'm over the stress of it"? I'm not sure, but whatever it meant plan how you're going to explain that.:yep:

4. Because of all this you are going to come across ungrateful for the effort he made to make the day work. It's best to turn the focus away from your stress and emphasize how grateful you are for the efforts he went to. Further than that, what a great man he is in general.

5. TIME. He probs needs to cool off atm which is ok. Use this time to collect yourself for the next time you talk through it. Personally I'm quite emotional so I also have learned to take time to sort through stuff so they come out in an easy to understand manner. :look:
Click to expand...

Thank you! I'm writing stuff out right now.

I don't know why I hold back. I hold back my feelings a lot (good and bad). I had a horrible week and he really only knew about one part because I held everything back. So when the one evening I was looking fwd to started to fall apart it just compounded with everything that went on during the week and it was more than I could handle.

ETA: and he is such a happy positive person that with him I don't want to be the girl that complains all the time. You know.
 
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I told him I didn't want anything for Valentine's day. I forgot that he's the king of planning ahead. He had a mug made that had all of our favorite pictures of us on it. I was so surprised. Such a thoughtful and personal gift. :love:

Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
Is it normal to start getting.annoyed at a guy's quirks after.only 4 months of dating? Idk if im pmsing or what but I've been super annoyed at him today..
 
I didn't go to work on Thursday and Friday due to weather. I commute to work and was not going to risk my life smh. Valentines Day is a regular day for us. Forgot it was valentines day until we went to a Thai restaurant and saw all red. That day is important to many but for me when you feel loved everyday it doesn't really matter.
 
Me and Mr. are celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow since this was his weekend with his daughter. I didn't want to intrude on that. Everyone was shocked talking about how they would have "made" him take me out. Wth. I surely wouldn't appreciate somebody telling me I had to choose them over my children. Smh.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Me and Mr. are celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow since this was his weekend with his daughter. I didn't want to intrude on that. Everyone was shocked talking about how they would have "made" him take me out. Wth. I surely wouldn't appreciate somebody telling me I had to choose them over my children. Smh.
Click to expand...

I completely understand. Every relationship and situation is different. SO has the type of job where he had to work all weekend. I felt bad for 10 minutes and got over it. We will be celebrating Monday.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Me and Mr. are celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow since this was his weekend with his daughter. I didn't want to intrude on that. Everyone was shocked talking about how they would have "made" him take me out. Wth. I surely wouldn't appreciate somebody telling me I had to choose them over my children. Smh.
Click to expand...

Being bossy and interfering in his father/daughter commitments sounds like the fastest route to relationship irritation and drama if ever I did see one. :lol:

I was ill on Friday so we did stuff on Saturday no biggie. It was great:drunk:
 
Sumra said:
Being bossy and interfering in his father/daughter commitments sounds like the fastest route to relationship irritation and drama if ever I did see one. :lol:

I was ill on Friday so we did stuff on Saturday no biggie. It was great:drunk:
Click to expand...

Exactly. .. not that I would do that anyway.
 
Just broke up with the guy I had been seeing. He told me that I wasn't kind enough for him when I told him that I didn't want to continue with him. I think I'm a nice person? He bored me to hell and I didn't tell him that..lol.
 
Got asked out a date! Too bad he's in Chicago for school and won't be in town until April. :lol: Until then, I'll get get to know him. I haven't been asked out on a date in almost 3 years. This is nice. :yep:
 
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On cloud nine. We spent the whole day together. We saw About Last Night it was really good. He makes me feel so special. It felt great holding hands and just enjoying each other. I'm so in love!
 
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