2012 Whats happening Relationship Folks

spent the day with him :D he cooked us breakfast, we went to see Argo, and now we're at his house. He just made a fire in the fireplace....he's so proud of it, he keeps glancing over at it lol.

He just killed a stinkbug and threw it into the fire :lol:

I love Argo. I'm nosy, what did you all get?
 
Uhhh.... It's "bu" :giggle:

Je Ne Sais Quoi hehe :giggle:

I just finished a 2 HOUR conversation with someone that needs to cry me a river. Honey. Chick is 5 years older than me-- just handed HER and her MAN their arses. separately. :look: Yea I'm not married but that's by choice bc of my mama issues *(daddy loves me) :look:, but I've gotten about 4.5 personal friends/associates down the aisle. I'm young but these heauxs need to listen to da **** I tell them. :lachen:

eta: betchu they will have things worked out by the end of the week or she'll be married to someone by the end of next year :look:
 
^Spill the advice Barbie, I'm ring hunting too-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oooooooh...


I'm a reckless Pisces baby unfiltered version of Zayna....but Do_Si_Do, Bkylnladee and Priceles2608 will tell ya, my advice is golden 80% of the time. Men are simple. @Zaynab already expressed most of my sentiment on the topic of how to get a man to propose/husband. Zayna's way is more practical for most women's temperaments IMO. My way is an honest "n*gga iz you gonna give me a ring, or go ring shopping or not? If not, I gotta date.":look::look::look::lachen:
 
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:yep:


you're normal. :yep:

I believe you're a year or two younger than me, I've been engaged a few times and used to be pressed to get married so I could play June Cleaver asap. Now you cant get me to be in a relationship. :lol: I've been dating my guy on and off for over 2 years at this point, the only reason we arent married is because I'm not ready. Simply not interested right now, I'm content. Priorities. There are a few things I need to take care of/get right first before I make that commitment so I can be a better wife and mother. :yep: Might make the plunge before I'm 30, just like marriage may creep back up on you as long as you keep your life in proper alignment to allow for the possibility...........

besides, dont worry your likelihood of divorce decreases with age. Late-twenties to thirties are ideal IMO. Half of my early married friends are divorced or currently in the process. (my peeps avg slightly older than myself--married at 21-24 and divorced by 28-34 :lol: ).

Time can be a blessing in disguise sometimes.....


Um yes this whole post yes yes yes.
We were arguing the other day and I just looked at him and I was like dude... I don't even know 10% of you. I feel like I have so much to learn about him and I am also not ready to struggle with him. Financially, if I'm going to get married I want everything squared away, and both of our careers still have aways to go.
I get it now. I get it. I made that whole thread abt what are people waiting for if they say they have a lot to do... it took me a year of dating someone I could love forever to really understand that. I am having trouble putting it into words.
 
barbiesocialite said:
I'm a reckless Pisces baby unfiltered version of Zayna....but Do_Si_Do, Bkylnladee and Priceles2608 will tell ya, my advice is golden 80% of the time. Men are simple. @Zaynab already expressed most of my sentiment on the topic of how to get a man to propose/husband. Zayna's way is more practical for most women's temperaments IMO. My way is an honest "n*gga iz you gonna give me a ring, or go ring shopping or not? If not, I gotta date.":look::look::look::lachen:

Direct might be the way to go. I'm going to toss it out this weekend....nothing to lose.
 
Direct might be the way to go. I'm going to toss it out this weekend....nothing to lose.

TayMac that's cool. But prepared for an answer you may not want to hear. BE CAREFUL.

I should also add, I've broken up my fair share of relationships before :look: The woman had a different personality or different people/man experience than I'm used to. I'm manipulative. DGAF. It is what it is, that's how I am :look: Anyway, sometimes I have to reel people back in after I've said some crazy arse **** (romantic or platonic). But the boundaries are set which is what honesty does, I say be youself in your delivery :yep:

Hopefully, if it's not too much, you'll let us know how it goes :yep:
 
The funny thing is about 2 years ago I decided to make a list of all the qualities I needed/wanted in a man and just forgot about the list in my prayer journal. After coming back from NY it came to my memory and out of 15 qualities he has 13 of them. One that he is missing is his age. I'm 43 but usually date older so my requirement was 45 and he will be 40 in December. Even though he doesn't have the age in number requirement he is such an old spirit he asked like his alot older than he really is.
 
TayMac that's cool. But prepared for an answer you may not want to hear. BE CAREFUL.

I should also add, I've broken up my fair share of relationships before :look: The woman had a different personality or different people/man experience than I'm used to. I'm manipulative. DGAF. It is what it is, that's how I am :look: Anyway, sometimes I have to reel people back in after I've said some crazy arse **** (romantic or platonic). But the boundaries are set which is what honesty does, I say be youself in your delivery :yep:

Hopefully, if it's not too much, you'll let us know how it goes :yep:
barbiesocialite
It's been 3 years:nono: I WANT the answer straight up not the roundabout BS.
 
I'm a reckless Pisces baby unfiltered version of Zayna....but Do_Si_Do, Bkylnladee and Priceles2608 will tell ya, my advice is golden 80% of the time. Men are simple. @Zaynab already expressed most of my sentiment on the topic of how to get a man to propose/husband. Zayna's way is more practical for most women's temperaments IMO. My way is an honest "n*gga iz you gonna give me a ring, or go ring shopping or not? If not, I gotta date.":look::look::look::lachen:

I just spit out water all over my cat. :lol: She is too through with me!
 
Hm, some good advice in this thread. I'm starting to get some clarity about this now.

I know many people who date this way and have successfully gotten married. Also Southernbella. Used a similar approach when she was dating. IMO and if you read countless articles on this, it makes YOU in control and not the men. You're empowered and confident.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue

I've been doing this more or less for a little over a year, and I can't say that I have been looking at it as positively as you state it here:lol:
If anything, I keep thinking of it as: "all these dudes I don't like":ohwell::lol:
Like, if one were really spectacular, then I could happily have the others fade away and we could proceed to something special.

A couple of months ago, I decided to "offer exclusivity" (unwarranted) to a fella. Things didn't get very far and I had nothing to lose, technically, but it didn't work out -- as he wasn't emotionally available. But I'm a little irate that I made the decision to box myself and that this was the result. NOT what I expected at all. And I was really bummed by it, tbh:ohwell:

You don't have to tell the man you are keeping your options open. You just need male friends who happen to be marriage material. He should know of said friends. If one of your friends offers to take you to lunch, brunch, movie, etc., you go. If someone sees you out, so what. If SO asks, you let him know. I always made the distinction to DH of what I thought was acceptable when dating vs. married so that he would understand what marriage means to me. You don't like me having guy friends? Well I would give them up for my husband, but not for a boyfriend. You want me to turn down my cross country internship? Well if I were married I would consider my husbands feelings, but I can't make career decisions for someone I'm just dating.

IMO, there is dating, engagement, and marriage. There is no such thing as a serious relationship unless he has made some type of formal commitment. He should understand that you consider dating to be a casual relationship, and "taking it to the next level" does not mean moving in together, getting a key to my place, combining finances, or anything else. The next level is a ring on my finger and there is no in between.

I really like this. And now that you mention it, it sounds familiar. If I remember correctly, ex-SO suggested exclusivity after I announced to him that I was going on a date with someone. And I guess from my tone of voice, it was clear that my attention had seriously drifted. He'd been stalling, and during those particular months I'd been hanging out with a whole slew of new guys-- friends of friends. One met me and and asked me out on a date that night. I don't know why I decided to tell the other one... probably the guilt I felt, because I really cared about ex-SO at that point.

Anyway, long story short, things were locked in place at most 1.5 weeks later... maybe just 1 week, in fact. We didn't have a conversation about it, I didn't bring anything up... it just happened. I don't know if they were related, but those 2 events happened very closely together.

I'm trying Zaynab's approach for 2013 :yep:

Now, I'm just going to ignore the feeling and just go for it. I'm going to make as many male friends as possible. I'm lacking in that department.

I've been on the fence when it came to dating since I thought I might be applying to graduate schools etc right now (and just didn't feel like it), but I'm staying put for now. Might as well try a new tactic.

greight, I've been and am in the same boat. I think I'll give Zaynab's approach a try, too:yep:

Funny enough, the only guy I've really connected in the past 2 years is one that I casually meet up with here and there-- to talk and do a few random activities. Of any guy I've dated during that time, he knows me better than any of the others. He's hinted a couple of times that he cares for me and I've just ignored it. Oddly enough, the time when the hint was no longer a hint and pretty much clear was the same day he discovered that I'd been dating several people.

Men have such a competitive streak. I hate it sometimes... and maybe I should constantly remind myself of that so I can make them compete...:look:
 
I learned a lot in the last bit in this thread. Totally going to go in a new direction for 2013. I'm tired of just 'casually' hanging with this guy on and off for 6 years with no commitment. With everyone asking me about 'us,' it gets annoying, but it's my fault for allowing this!

New attitude and approach for 2013!
 
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