2012 Whats happening Relationship Folks

[Fine 4s]

Either way if you are sensitive about your nose hopefully he will realize that is a sore point and never comment on it again. I know you were just venting and all.

This is key to me. If a person in my circle knows I'm sensitive about something, it's rather INsensitive to point it out, joke about it etc.
That would make me feel some kind of way about the person...
It's like one of those jokes that goes wayyyy too far IMO.

 

[PeaceFlow]

he just told me i have a big nose.

while that may be true, is that really something you need to voluntarily tell your gf?erplexed

IMO no it isn't. However, I don't have the context of the full sentence/discussion.

 

[PeaceFlow]

He does actually! I swear it's like a scene straight out of ABG, our encounters are just all...uncomfortable.

LOL. Have either of you smiled at each other yet?

 

[kandake]

He does actually! I swear it's like a scene straight out of ABG, our encounters are just all...uncomfortable.

I had a crush like that at work. We were so awkward around each other, still are. It's funny because you wouldn't expect either one of us to act that way.

 

[A856]

SO & I are still trucking along...I told him we can go look at cars for me Friday when I get off of work. I needed to act fast his weekends are gonna be busy for the next month, and I'm finally ready to do it.

 

[BGT]

he just told me i have a big nose.

while that may be true, is that really something you need to voluntarily tell your gf?erplexed

BFs always put their feet in their mouths. SO told me I had big thighs, but I shouldn't be mad because he loves my big thighs. LOL, thanks dude.

 

[kismettt]

BFs always put their feet in their mouths. SO told me I had big thighs, but I shouldn't be mad because he loves my big thighs. LOL, thanks dude.

my bf calls me "fat", "wide", "thickums", etc. and i told my friends and they were like erplexed i just tell him i don't think he understands the meaning of words he always clarifies that he means it in the most positive way possible. but i'm like

 

[kandake]

he just told me i have a big nose.

while that may be true, is that really something you need to voluntarily tell your gf?erplexed

BFs always put their feet in their mouths. SO told me I had big thighs, but I shouldn't be mad because he loves my big thighs. LOL, thanks dude.

BGT is right. The dude I'm dating told me he loves my love handles, while holding on to my side. . It was more of a muffin top from my jeans. I gave him one of my fiercest side eyes and he said "well I do ".

 

[BGT]

BGT is right. The dude I'm dating told me he loves my love handles, while holding on to my side. . It was more of a muffin top from my jeans. I gave him one of my fiercest side eyes and he said "well I do ".

When I was little, I told my mom I liked her soft, squishy stomach. I guess it's karma because SO rubs my tummy and tells me how soft it is.

 

[Lucie]

Sorry Oasis. I'd be offended. I used to like my nose, now it seems pointier and bigger than it used to be.

My bf told me I look ugly in one of my FB pics. Then he got upset because I was offended. He said you have a lot of beautiful pictures but that one is igly, take it down. He tried to explain and say if I thought you were ugly, I wouldn't be with you. He sees no problem with the word UGLY. I will say that he calls himself ugly in certain pics as well. I am guessing this is why Hallmark has not made him a head writer, LOL!

We were on the phone last month and he was buying me a skirt. He didn't know if he should get me a SM/M so I asked him to look at the sales associate and tell me if we were the same size. He goes up to her and says to me, "She is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY bigger than you! Nowhere close to your size." I felt so bad. He said he didn't understand why he had to worry about her feelings. Like I said, men and women don't think the same.

 

[A856]

my bf calls me "fat", "wide", "thickums", etc. and i told my friends and they were like erplexed i just tell him i don't think he understands the meaning of words he always clarifies that he means it in the most positive way possible. but i'm like

Glad to know mine's isn't the only one, he likes to think of them as terms of endearment his favorite PHAT, Pretty Hot And Tempting...he also loves to rub on my stomach.

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

I'm celibate. Not because I have to be, but because I want to be. The guy that I'm dating knows about it and I low key thinking that he is enjoying the fact that I'm not climbing all over his sexy arse (SIKE). My girlfriends bought me some shower "games", so I'm thinking about incorporating those into my morning routine, to get me going.

He's so fine. I really want to climb up on him and . . . Y'all know. I don't even have a reason to be celibate, I just want to enjoy myself for a little bit, but once I give it up it's ON.

 

[Oasis]

we were video chatting. when i look in the mirror i dont see a big nose but in pics and videos it looks gigantic. i will say it's larger than average but not something i'm insecure about. however, he has a history of this and we've talked about it several times. he makes these little rude, insensitive comments about my physical appearance and then gets annoyed when i get upset. he'll claim he's joking so it's not big deal but ppl don't just pull jokes out of their ***. they're always based on some sort of truth.

if he doesn't start getting it, i'm gonna have to be petty and hit him where it hurts.

 

[Maracujá]

LOL. Have either of you smiled at each other yet?

We barely dare to make eye contact let alone smile at each other. Plus, I come accross as very stand offish and stuck up because I'm an introvert. Sigh.

I had a crush like that at work. We were so awkward around each other, still are. It's funny because you wouldn't expect either one of us to act that way.

Oh man. I'm just praying that something happens (work related) so we can talk to each other, I've planned to go buy two matrasses next month at his department, hope he's working that day.



On another note: I was thinking about this at work today and just had to bring it up here --> For the single ladies that haven't been in long term relationships, how do you know what your flaws are/what areas you need to work on?

 

[Skyfall]

...

 

[MzLady78]

Sorry Oasis. I'd be offended. I used to like my nose, now it seems pointier and bigger than it used to be.

My bf told me I look ugly in one of my FB pics. Then he got upset because I was offended. He said you have a lot of beautiful pictures but that one is igly, take it down. He tried to explain and say if I thought you were ugly, I wouldn't be with you. He sees no problem with the word UGLY. I will say that he calls himself ugly in certain pics as well. I am guessing this is why Hallmark has not made him a head writer, LOL!

We were on the phone last month and he was buying me a skirt. He didn't know if he should get me a SM/M so I asked him to look at the sales associate and tell me if we were the same size. He goes up to her and says to me, "She is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY bigger than you! Nowhere close to your size." I felt so bad. He said he didn't understand why he had to worry about her feelings. Like I said, men and women don't think the same.

Ok, now I see what you were saying about ole boy.

I say this out of nothing but love, but I hope this dude REALLY deserves you. Some of your posts are making me wonder.

 

[FelaShrine]

we were video chatting. when i look in the mirror i dont see a big nose but in pics and videos it looks gigantic. i will say it's larger than average but not something i'm insecure about. however, he has a history of this and we've talked about it several times. he makes these little rude, insensitive comments about my physical appearance and then gets annoyed when i get upset. he'll claim he's joking so it's not big deal but ppl don't just pull jokes out of their ***. they're always based on some sort of truth.

if he doesn't start getting it, i'm gonna have to be petty and hit him where it hurts.

Ok I thought the nose comment was the first time? If he does this often about your looks you might wanna let him go..men who try to break women usually start by chipping at their self esteem. I dont like it. Obviously you know him better but please watch out

 

[SamandI]

Umm, i'm not finding anything endearing about these comments
SO knows how to sidestep these types of comments. I don't care if I point blank ask him if i'm fat, after eating a chipotle bowl and while dealing with PMS bloat. That man knows exactly how to avoid my gaze, distract me from the subject, and give me the "you look beautiful" lie that i have come to expect. and that is the only acceptable response.

 

[A856]

He's making us dinner, before we watch the debate. I love this man!

 

[ArrrBeee]

"Mean doesn't go away.Some people get better looking with age; some don’t. Some people soften; some toughen up. Mean streaks tend not to disappear. A person who demeans and belittles you and speaks of you with contempt to others is probably going to be that way for years. The first time it happens, take note. The second time, take your coat and go."


The above was posted for whomever needs to read it. Life is too short to have people in your life that aren't kind to you.

 

[tinkat]

Ok I thought the nose comment was the first time? If he does this often about your looks you might wanna let him go..men who try to break women usually start by chipping at their self esteem. I dont like it. Obviously you know him better but please watch out

This quote is so true generally speaking. I peeped that in the last guy I dealt with. It's always a red flag when they always criticize a physical feature. The men who truly loved me never criticized my physical features. Any imperfection was perfect to them.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours.Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[kismettt]

Umm, i'm not finding anything endearing about these comments
SO knows how to sidestep these types of comments. I don't care if I point blank ask him if i'm fat, after eating a chipotle bowl and while dealing with PMS bloat. That man knows exactly how to avoid my gaze, distract me from the subject, and give me the "you look beautiful" lie that i have come to expect. and that is the only acceptable response.

you know your SO & you know your relationship. relationships have different dynamics and what may be unacceptable between two people is okay between two others.

if someone feels that what their SO said is questionable and made them feel bad, that's not okay. because clearly there isn't a mutual understanding/there isn't that dynamic in the relationship (and it may be an indicator of some other issues).

 

[Lenee925]

If I feel insecure around a guy, I let that be my guide. There is no way a guy who respected me and thought I was his dream-girl would let any words other than "you are gorgeous" on my worst day come out of his mouth. I'd rather be my myself, but that's me. Hugs to all

 

[SamandI]

you know your SO & you know your relationship. relationships have different dynamics and what may be unacceptable between two people is okay between two others.

if someone feels that what their SO said is questionable and made them feel bad, that's not okay. because clearly there isn't a mutual understanding/there isn't that dynamic in the relationship (and it may be an indicator of some other issues).

I guess. If that's how you all joke. erplexed I wouldn't appreciate being called fat but maybe that's just me. But this is RT, and whatever works for each person.

 

[Oasis]

Ok I thought the nose comment was the first time? If he does this often about your looks you might wanna let him go..men who try to break women usually start by chipping at their self esteem. I dont like it. Obviously you know him better but please watch out

that was the first time about the nose. although he's definitely said plenty of other things. and my ex was super into belittling me and trying to make me insecure. his motives were VERY clear. my new one, though, i just dont think thats the case. he may have malicious intent, idk, but it seems like he is genuinely clueless with absolutely no filter whatsoever.

i still dont find his behavior excusable.

 

[FelaShrine]

^Ok but you should still watch him cos he might not be as clueless as you think and IF that is the case, after kicking him out you might wanna take a break and figure out why you attract men that try to cut you down.
If I remmeber correctly your avi has shown you a couple of times, if that is you..you are VERY pretty.

 

[FelaShrine]

Umm, i'm not finding anything endearing about these comments
SO knows how to sidestep these types of comments. I don't care if I point blank ask him if i'm fat, after eating a chipotle bowl and while dealing with PMS bloat. That man knows exactly how to avoid my gaze, distract me from the subject, and give me the "you look beautiful" lie that i have come to expect. and that is the only acceptable response.

Lol I get the gist but dont tell me you'll be one of those women that gain 100lb then start yelling at dude "why didnt you tell me?!"

 

[firecracker]

I prefer the truth and not to be told a lie but some people do like to chip away another persons veneer for no good reason. I never told my ex he had a long nose but he knew it. He was more sensitive than I was though.

As for the ugly picture comment hell every picture isn't going to be a winner so I would be ok with it because I post ugly pictures all day everyday. LMBO I don't care to be perceived as perfect nor do I try to be. We all have good and bad days. Just tell the man you don't like his honesty but don't be mad later if you find out he lied when your really wanted and needed the truth. That nose comment probably wasn't necessary or in the appropriate context. When I told my mom that it was truly because her nose had grown thrice its size out of nowhere. Everyone is different.

Well Mr Forgetful couldn't talk me outta of it. It was kinda awkward for a minute. I gave him all his stuff that was here. He had the audacity to ask me what about the watch? Uh sorry Mister Mindless but I have not seen that watch since I gave it to ya for your birthday. I'm not forgetful like that so if it was here it would have been put in the bag with everything else. Thank goodness I didn't spend a pretty penny on it because he may never find it. LMBO I told him I will come get my stuff from his place one day. Now I need to at least try not to ask him for anything for a lil while. Yeah right that will be a first. hahaha At least now his lack of action won't bother me and his symptoms won't bother me because it won't be in my face daily. I felt alot better talking to him and I didn't mind repeating what I had just said because him not being my man now totally puts me at ease. I pray nothing happens to him and he gets his mind back right.

 

[tinkat]

I know that we live in a 3d world where we focus alot on things that don't matter and forget that mental is all the matters but there is a fine line between honesty and being hurtful. Words are way more powerful than some may think and have a lasting affect on a person. Some people really don't have a filter, but we give way to much credit and it should be corrected. I'm a firm believer in trying to be impeccable with my word as said in the 4 agreements. I do believe that the quality of your word is a direct reflection upon how you feel about yourself. With that being said, I don't know anyone relationship status, but just be careful. Some people will tear you down and claim that they love you.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours.Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[firecracker]

We live in a world full of different people and personalities. Some folks will be cautious with words while others will just give it how they feel it/perceive it. While you may not like or appreciate folks honesty or so called folks w/o a filter there are others that actually appreciate it and will request it. Who wants to live in a world where everyone is the same? Well some would but its never going to happen. I do believe most folks know words can hurt and can leave a lasting affect but that doesn't negate that persons words or so called truth. We all get our feelings hurt. Its unavoidable.

All we can do is tell those that we are around or love how we feel and hope they respect it. Some folks are angry, in pain, on the rag etc and may lash out but that could happen with anyone. Being direct and upfront could be reflective of dealing with what is real and true. As long as that person applies that same directness to themselves and their own situation there ain't a damn thang wrong with it. Again all of us can be offended by someone and that person putting it out there could very well feel we are being overly sensitive. Doesn't always make their assessment true but whateva. Such as life.

Abuse comes in all forms so if you've been in a verbally abusive relationship you may see things quite differently. Some folks say mean hurtful stuff and instead of acknowledging they hurt your feelings and said it for hate filled reasons will say they were playing and you are too sensitive. All we can do is ask yourself why they said and why we felt the way we did after they said it along with moving forward or on from that person. Everyone is different and has different tolerance levels.

I get mad and get over it because I refuse to give my power away to unimportant people. Keep living.