2012 Whats happening Relationship Folks

[firecracker]

BGT which threads got locked? I leave this motha sucka for an hour or two and all hell breaks loose. LMAO

@fine4s LMBO yeah you know I'm Eastside and ole so I still say tittie ballz

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

That's great lovey! It is hard for many men to apologize. Just take it one step at a time. (((HUGS)))

I know it was hard. He poured his heart out for about 20-25 minutes non stop and I didn't say a word. His words mean nothing to me right now. His actions do.

 

[BGT]

BGT which threads got locked? I leave this motha sucka for an hour or two and all hell breaks loose. LMAO

@fine4s LMBO yeah you know I'm Eastside and ole so I still say tittie ballz

The sex ones.

 

[firecracker]

He just sent me a text that says I still luv you. Boy please....

Uh why can I see your face saying that lady!!!!

I met 2 of SO's best friends on Saturday (his "brothers") and they both said I was too quiet and shy. :sigh:

Wow they've only met you once so I wonder what they expected.

My middle school boyfriend asked me on a date.

Whatcha gon do?

I feel overwhemingly sad. Like I have nothing to live for. No worries, I am not suicidal. Just alive because I didn't die.

I went out with my SO last night. We went out to eat. I just felt like I was going through the motions. Nothing to do with him, just me. Bah!

On a positive note, my outfit was cute. Gotta find joy somewhere.

Ahh Lucie don't feel down. Maybe you are PMSing. Check your calendar. I bet your outfit was cute. Whadya wear?

He just came over and apologized to me. I know that was hard for him to do. He told me some other stuff to and mentioned the word therapy. I really hope he pursues that.

Ahh that was good. I hope things change for the better. Maybe he didn't realize he had certain behavior patterns.

So my sister and THREE of my female cousins are engaged right now. Happy for them but I'm starting to feel more and more pitiful.

Might be time to start working on my aversion to cats.

Well I'm happy for those ladies. The cat lady nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

@firecracker laughing at you calling us the bobsy twins, girl. We don't dress similarly that often and its usually something very subtle and simple such as him wearing a necktie to complement a color/colors in my outfit. The main reason we do it is because he is a stylist and he wants to keep all kinds of ideas/pictures in his fashion portfolio for clients.

Kells started out with one night in Atlanta (Thursday), but he sold out so fast so about a week ago they added another night. I wish we were going on Friday night, but we bought our tickets when he only had the Thursday night show. So yeah, I'm going on a work night, but whatever. I can't wait to see Kells, I don't give a damn if I'm wearing a paper bag.

That is super cool he is a stylist. Chile I'd be posing and smiling away. LOL Oh I know how you feel when they do that mess with concerts. Well try to rest up really well the days leading up to the concert because Friday maybe a lil ruff but oh so worth it.

Chihuahuas could work.

too funny.

 

[firecracker]

The sex ones.

Damn it ta hell!!!!! No sexing er'ynight around herre I guess. I guess they didn't use enough code words.

 

[shasha8685]

How do I tell my mom to stop meddling in my personal life w/o hurting her feelings? I want to be able to talk to her about my relationship but as of right now it is impossible. Her giving me the nth degree every time I make a choice or her essentially questioning my judgement has made it so that I don't want to talk to her at all.

My ex has been making a huge effort to be a part of my life as of late, in the best way he knows how. I don't know exactly what it is yet but I want to see where this goes. Unfortunately, I can't tell my mom any of this b/c she will poo-poo on anything he does.

This is just a crappy position to be in. :/

 

[sunnieb]

^^^^^^ Do. Not. Talk. To. Your. Mom. About. Your. Relationships.

I learned the hard way. Matter of fact, just keep ALL family members out. Tell them vanilla surface stuff only. Talk to a trusted friend about intimate details.

Sent from my android tablet using LHCF App

 

[Lissa0821]

We officially made up and I finally got a little . Hung out with his mother to the point he started to get jealous.

 

[MzLady78]

Well I'm happy for those ladies. The cat lady nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Oh, believe me, I really am very happy for them- and for my brother who will probably be proposing to his GF soon. I would never let my situation overshadow that. There have been plenty of baby showers over the years and not nearly enough weddings.

The truth is I just have zero faith that it's going to happen for me. I know we always tell each other "he's coming, just be patient" and all that other stuff, but the reality is that not everyone is going to find their Prince Charming, and I very well might be one of them. I'm just wondering how I'm going to fill that void because if there was one thing I'd always been sure of growing up, it was that I was going to get married and be a mother.

 

[shasha8685]

^^^^^^ Do. Not. Talk. To. Your. Mom. About. Your. Relationships.

I learned the hard way. Matter of fact, just keep ALL family members out. Tell them vanilla surface stuff only. Talk to a trusted friend about intimate details.

Sent from my android tablet using LHCF App

Understandable. I honestly just want to get to the point where I can go see someone without her saying "I don't understand why you have to go out to see him?" or "Why can't he come to you?" or "He's just trying to bait you" and the general list of questions she feels like dumping on me. It makes me feel like she doesn't trust my judgement or that I'm doing something wrong. That's what I want to get past. I don't necessarily want to discuss nitty gritty relationship details.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

He keeps letting it all hang out and has even called and left messages for two therapists. I know because I heard the calls. He told me that I am the only person that he lost that he felt getting his life together was worth doing. He wants to be a solid man that a woman can be proud to call her husband. Like I said, actions speak louder than words at this point. So that's all great to hear but I'm not moved.

 

[chocolat79]

firecracker, I had a blast!!! And your outfit was the business! Whenever you want to hang out again, let me know!

Je Ne Sais Quoi, girl, I should've hit you up this weekend. It'll get better, either way it goes and you're right, actions DEFINITELY speak louder. Let him show you what he's going to do. Leaving messages for therapists is cool, but actually attending sessions and becoming better for it is best. You all will get there.

OON, it seems like theses relationships are going haywire right now. Hopefully things will settle down soon.

Big hugs to all the ladies going through some drama with SO. It be's like that sometime.

 

[FelaShrine]

He keeps letting it all hang out and has even called and left messages for two therapists. I know because I heard the calls. He told me that I am the only person that he lost that he felt getting his life together was worth doing. He wants to be a solid man that a woman can be proud to call her husband. Like I said, actions speak louder than words at this point. So that's all great to hear but I'm not moved.

He should leave you alone and have sessions with these therapists then you yourself can judge if there are any chnages from this additional help.

constantly mentioning therapy doesnt mean ish IMO.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

firecracker, I had a blast!!! And your outfit was the business! Whenever you want to hang out again, let me know!

Je Ne Sais Quoi, girl, I should've hit you up this weekend. It'll get better, either way it goes and you're right, actions DEFINITELY speak louder. Let him show you what he's going to do. Leaving messages for therapists is cool, but actually attending sessions and becoming better for it is best. You all will get there.

OON, it seems like theses relationships are going haywire right now. Hopefully things will settle down soon.

Big hugs to all the ladies going through some drama with SO. It be's like that sometime.

chocolat79 I was free all weekend! He can show me all he wants but it is going to take a loooooooooong time for this mess to be off my radar. I don't know if we will ever be together again. I am dealing with that reality

 

[Fine 4s]

Je Ne Sais Quoi

I hear you. I know only a handful of men who changed because of a woman. The person has to want it too. He sounds like he's on that path. My ex RAN to the shrink when I left (nothing to do with cheating or anything) but it was too late for me and him. He has learned a lot....

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Je Ne Sais Quoi

I hear you. I know only a handful of men who changed because of a woman. The person has to want it too. He sounds like he's on that path. My ex RAN to the shrink when I left (nothing to do with cheating or anything) but it was too late for me and him. He has learned a lot....

Yeah. I don't see it happening honestly. Or the change will start occurring after hard time spent with a therapist. Not just a session here and there. He may be on the path but I think it's time for me to start looking at a different one

 

[TayMac]

^^^^^^ Do. Not. Talk. To. Your. Mom. About. Your. Relationships.

I learned the hard way. Matter of fact, just keep ALL family members out. Tell them vanilla surface stuff only. Talk to a trusted friend about intimate details.

Sent from my android tablet using LHCF App

I am learning this now because my mom is all up in my relationship giving me her two cents and then some. So she thinks she is privy to all details and comings and goings. It is horrrrible. Love her to death but this bit is causing problems.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Fine 4s
I think I'm like your SO. Unless there's a good reason there's no way I'd full on ignore an ex lol. If I had no feelings for the person anymore then my partner not liking it wouldn't be a good enough reason.

It's nothing to do with how much I love my partner though.

However, I do think if the partner feels attracted to the ex, or in love, any strange incidents, or there is any drama/attraction coming from the ex it's not appropriate.

 

[Fine 4s]

Please do not quote

Vanthie,

I can appreciate that.
Every close person who knows all the details, agree it's warranted and even SO understands it. IF he's not feeling her like that, my demand would upset me too but not enough to NOT do it. Mind you it's not all exes it's just her. I'm sure after I'm settled, I'd feel comfortable with some form of interaction but for now...

I'm sorry I'm putting him through this but HE contributed to it. Giving the totality of events this was/is the natural progression...

I'm nervous about this talk. I'm going to want DETAILS!!!!!

Please do not quote

 

[Fine 4s]

Vanthie

However, I do think if the partner feels attracted to the ex, or in love, any strange incidents, or there is any drama/attraction coming from the ex it's not appropriate.

How would you know if the ex has an attraction still?
I also don't trust that, at least my SO would admit there's any attraction to his ex if he's not going to act on it. Why would he? I wouldn't. I'd simply self regulate and wouldn't leave ANY clue that I MIGHT still have feelings..

 

[PeaceFlow]

OK, I thought there might be more to this story! Everything makes sense now Yes as I said, any crap like that and it's not appropriate to me. I'd be gone like the wind tbh.

 

[Fine 4s]

Oh I know most of y'all would be!!!! Now I'm off to delete what I wrote lolol

 

[PeaceFlow]

LOL^

I don't believe you are over-sensitive, or unreasonably insecure over this issue now I have more detail. It's an appropriate response under the circumstances.

Hope everything works out whatever you choose to do.

 

[kismettt]

my friend made an okcupid. under the 6 things he couldn't live w/o he wrote "the internet". and he was like, "i would put friends & family like everyone else but i don't care about my friends and i never call my family". i was dyingggg.

especially b/c once he told me when i was feeling down, "you have a great job, a great bf, and a great friend...actually. no. i'm a terrible friend. i'm going to leave you. and i'll never call. no wonder you're upset".

 

[Oasis]

he just told me i have a big nose.

while that may be true, is that really something you need to voluntarily tell your gf?erplexed

 

[-PYT]

How do I meet such a fine, tall, sweet guy (3 days ago ) and he's blowing up my phone? I said I'd text you later, so why must you text me first? I cannot tolerate being sweated. I told him to fall back and he said I'm exaggerating

 

[Maracujá]

My sister and my friend keep telling me that I should just talk to ccw (cute co-worker), have small talk or something. Iono, we keep running into each other and work in adjacent departments but he never says anything to me, not even hello. :-/

 

[PeaceFlow]

My sister and my friend keep telling me that I should just talk to ccw (cute co-worker), have small talk or something. Iono, we keep running into each other and work in adjacent departments but he never says anything to me, not even hello. :-/

Does he stare at you or anything?

 

[firecracker]

he just told me i have a big nose.

while that may be true, is that really something you need to voluntarily tell your gf?erplexed

Are you sensitive about having a big nose? He must be attracted to your big nose as he is your boyfriend. I only say that because my ex had a large long nose aka a honker but was still attractive to me. People make random comments about each others features all the time and its relatively harmless. Now my mother didn't like when I made that comment to her because she doesn't like large noses. Her nose changed over the years. It may have had something to do with her health issues though.

Either way if you are sensitive about your nose hopefully he will realize that is a sore point and never comment on it again. I know you were just venting and all.

 

[Maracujá]

Does he stare at you or anything?

He does actually! I swear it's like a scene straight out of ABG, our encounters are just all...uncomfortable.