2012 Whats happening Relationship Folks

Lucie said:
deltadreamland



I told him how I felt about how he speaks to me. He has no filter at all. I told him how I felt about the things I thought he could do better. I feel I do everything wrong yet he always tells me he is crazy about me. Tonight I was on FB and saw his page and that he went to the movies and dinner. We have not spoken in 2 days since our argument. I was hurt because I think he is on a date. Granted, I am making assumptions but just the thought burns my heart.

Sometimes, I wish I was a woman who could build a wall around her heart. I am just too damn loving. I wish I could be with a man and not feel. That way when things like this happen, I could just Kanye shrug. I feel like an idiot even for sharing. Lord knows my candor has burned me so many times on this site. :(
Click to expand...

@ Lucie

Don't doubt yourself. You did the absolute best thing by vocalizing to him the things that were making you feel "some kind of way." That's what you were supposed to do and kudos to you for letting him know how you felt. Some women go through life taking the verbal jabs and never voice to their men how they feel. One thing is for sure; he has to respect you for speaking your mind. If he did go out on a date with someone else, try to look at that as a blessing in disguise. He is moving out of your way so that a real man can step up to the plate.
 
Last edited:
Lucie said:
That is beautiful. And you deserve it! :yep:
Click to expand...

Thank you. I want to be optimistic, but I have my fears as well. I'm not sure if God sent him to me to be a reason, season, or a lifetime. I'm just being me and taking it day by day.
 
deltadreamland said:
Don't doubt yourself. You did the absolute best thing by vocalizing to him the things that were making you feel "some kind of way." That's what you were supposed to do and kudos to you for letting him know how you felt. Some women go through life taking the verbal jabs and never voice to their men how they feel. One thing is for sure; he has to respect you for speaking your mind. If he did go out on a date with someone else, try to look at that as a blessing in disguise. He is moving out of your way so that a real man can step up to the plate.
Click to expand...

Thank you. Part of our problem is cultural. I don't like to generalize but some men born in Haiti just say what they want and the women don't say too much. So they get used to just saying whatever stuff they feel is comical or true without having to be accountable. The funny thing is many of them cannot even handle constructive criticism. I figured because he came here as a teen he wouldn't be like this. Well..............
 
Lucie said:
Thank you. Part of our problem is cultural. I don't like to generalize but some men born in Haiti just say what they want and the women don't say too much. So they get used to just saying whatever stuff they feel is comical or true without having to be accountable. The funny thing is many of them cannot even handle constructive criticism. I figured because he came here as a teen he wouldn't be like this. Well..............
Click to expand...

He knew you were telling the truth. Thats probably part of the reason you have not spoken to him in a few days. You called him to the plate on his BS (probably a first for him) and he's embarrassed and having a hard time processing the truth. If he has any sense, he will capitalize on that criticism and change his hurtful ways. However, if he chooses to stay incognito, then he is comfortable with his ways and I feel for the next woman. A lot of men in general cannot accept constructive criticism. *rolls eyes*
 
Had so much fun on my vacation, but seeing all the couples on the beach, and hanging out with couples made me a little sad. I wonder if I'll ever have a trip away with an SO again.
 
deltadreamland said:
He knew you were telling the truth. Thats probably part of the reason you have not spoken to him in a few days. You called him to the plate on his BS (probably a first for him) and he's embarrassed and having a hard time processing the truth. If he has any sense, he will capitalize on that criticism and change his hurtful ways. However, if he chooses to stay incognito, then he is comfortable with his ways and I feel for the next woman. A lot of men in general cannot accept constructive criticism. *rolls eyes*
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree with you. He is very stubborn. I know this might sound dumb to mention but he is light skin with type 2 hair. A lot of women in Haiti go crazy for guys that look like him. I won't lie and say I'm npt attracted to him but not because of his features. Men are men. I feel part of his issue is that he has never really had a woman challenge him. Because of his family name and looks I am sure he got away with a lot as a result. I am not that sort of woman. I have some things to work on for sure but looks are not what keep me. Money is not what keeps me. Love is the most important thing to me.

You paragraph above really made me feel better. Thank you. And thank you for not making me feel stupid.
 
Imma need my ccw (cute co-worker) to ask me out on a date...like...yesterday:yep:. Lusting after him the whole damn time is putting my walk with Jesus in jeopardy! Last week we met in the hallway and again...nothing. Sigh.

Lucie: big hug!
 
Lucie
We love you for your candor :kiss:. You are a baeautiful, kind woman and you do not need anyone, male or female, talking to you harshly and critically and without a filter. His culture doesn't matter. How he looks doesn't matter. How he treats you and how he makes you feel is all that matters. Bottomline is he is mean. And why would Lucie want a mean person in her life? It's not your job to figure out why he says this or that. It is your job to not settle on a harsh, jealous, mean-spirited man. I know he has lots of other good qualities, but the bad ones seem to be overshadowing the good ones. If he can't come back with I'm sorry and I'll do better, then f him.
 
hopeful, thanks so much doll. I guess being Haitian, it felt so nice to have someone I could speak to in my mother tongue. Someone I did not have to break anything down to. And for once someone I could have things broken down to me when I did not understand. I know I can be sensitive but some of his comments really offend me. I don't think he does it intentionally but I do feel it is a cultural clash. If he doesn't care to apologize or try better than I need to accept that and move on. I don't need to deal with anything less than the best. I just wish it didn't hurt.
 
My sister is ride or die for this man who ain't worth a damn. I just don't get it!!!!!! We grew up in the same household, had the same start in life but somewhere along the line she has bumped her head. I am so over it, that I don't have an ounce of sympathy for her anymore.
 
OMG! My mom told me that she spoke to my SO and he told her that he is planning on popping the question and he would like to get to know her better since we are going to be family. ;0)
 
Soooo...I'm at work and turn on the phone. Got text message from my ex (first love) where he apologizes and said that at first he did not understand but now he does. And that he thinks about me all the time.

That was random, I haven't spoken to him in a year. I did message him on Facebook in march just to say hello but got no response. All I know is that if I was his girlfriend I would be mad.

I just said no need to apologize, we live learn and grow, and I still have love for him. I wished him the best and that was it.

It's funny bc I have already moved on but now I'm in a relationship now and he hits me up. He may have seen the pics of me and twin via instagram posted on fb. I was not aware that fb posted those pics until my crush from hs messaged me about my twin.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours.Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
He put my new windshield wipers on my car for me today :) And he booked our hotel room for this weekend :yay:
 
Lissa0821 said:
My sister is ride or die for this man who ain't worth a damn. I just don't get it!!!!!! We grew up in the same household, had the same start in life but somewhere along the line she has bumped her head. I am so over it, that I don't have an ounce of sympathy for her anymore.
Click to expand...

You would be amazed how siblings come out dealing with life in different ways. I know for sure.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours.Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I go to a birthday dinner for my new boyfriend's momma. He sits me at the table between him and his 13 year old daughter. While I'm eating, his daughter is reaching over me and my food (so I had to keep leaning away from my plate and worrying about her sleeve in my food) to ask her dad for his cell phone. She did it about 5-6 times and no he didn't correct her. Whenever he would talk to me, she would interrupt to ask a question. She's a pretty disrespectful child. He allowed her to taste his wine and she stuck her white tongue in the glass and it just looked so dang nasty. I do understand that she's 13 so that's the age when some kids begin to be disrespectful. But needless to say, I was annoyed by her obnoxious behavior and disgusted at the same time.

So I'm having a convo with him the next day about whether or not people should correct other people's children. He says that regardless of what his child is doing, he'd be pissed with that person and probably curse him out.

I didn't feel comfortable telling him about his child after that. But ummmmm, this is gonna be interesting.
 
kweenameena said:
I go to a birthday dinner for my new boyfriend's momma. He sits me at the table between him and his 13 year old daughter. While I'm eating, his daughter is reaching over me and my food (so I had to keep leaning away from my plate and worrying about her sleeve in my food) to ask her dad for his cell phone. She did it about 5-6 times and no he didn't correct her. Whenever he would talk to me, she would interrupt to ask a question. She's a pretty disrespectful child. He allowed her to taste his wine and she stuck her white tongue in the glass and it just looked so dang nasty. I do understand that she's 13 so that's the age when some kids begin to be disrespectful. But needless to say, I was annoyed by her obnoxious behavior and disgusted at the same time.

So I'm having a convo with him the next day about whether or not people should correct other people's children. He says that regardless of what his child is doing, he'd be pissed with that person and probably curse him out.

I didn't feel comfortable telling him about his child after that. But ummmmm, this is gonna be interesting.
Click to expand...

And this right here is why I could not date a man with children. :nono: That's just ME.

It takes time to get comfortable enough to discuss child-rearing so you will have to be patient.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF...if only it would stop correcting what I write.
 
He asked if I wanted to go to his mom's house (out of state) for Thanksgiving. Can't tell if this is a "big step" thing or not.

I want to go but if it's not like...a crucial relationship moment then I rather just go home. IDK what his family eats :look: Probably like curries and vegetables and bean curds. I want some turkey necks!
 
we/i have a lot to think about right now. what i love about him is the obligation and responsibility he has, but it will always be a huge part of how his family will get to him.

he is very similar to me in that if one part of my life isn't where i feel it should be, i want to hold off on everything else until i get it back on track. i've worked hard to keep the balance in my life even just in the past month (friends, health/fitness, career, hobbies/interests vs new man, drop everything! :look:), so i know where he is right now. especially since this is all so out of his control.

we're going to talk about it more this weekend. i'm less anxious now that i know a little bit more of what is going on, i was really worried. i'm still concerned but moreso about how it's affecting him now i know more of the what.

we both have this need to fix, provide, and nurture. :ohwell: i have to remind myself of what i told him, same thing applies.
 
i think im going to end it tomorrow. a man who is dedicated to his family is great in theory but, in reality, i can't handle it. im not okay with the fact that he is a grown man and his parents control nearly every aspect of his life. im not okay with always coming second to them. i know im just a gf right now but i don't see this changing even if we got married.:sad:

i guess i no longer have to worry about a how to maintain a ldr while in the military since i'll be single. again.:ohwell:
 
kweenameena said:
I go to a birthday dinner for my new boyfriend's momma. He sits me at the table between him and his 13 year old daughter. While I'm eating, his daughter is reaching over me and my food (so I had to keep leaning away from my plate and worrying about her sleeve in my food) to ask her dad for his cell phone. She did it about 5-6 times and no he didn't correct her. Whenever he would talk to me, she would interrupt to ask a question. She's a pretty disrespectful child. He allowed her to taste his wine and she stuck her white tongue in the glass and it just looked so dang nasty. I do understand that she's 13 so that's the age when some kids begin to be disrespectful. But needless to say, I was annoyed by her obnoxious behavior and disgusted at the same time.

So I'm having a convo with him the next day about whether or not people should correct other people's children. He says that regardless of what his child is doing, he'd be pissed with that person and probably curse him out.

I didn't feel comfortable telling him about his child after that. But ummmmm, this is gonna be interesting.
Click to expand...

Mmmm why would he put you between him and his child?
 
We had a disagreement over a week ago, I apologized for what I did wrong but didn't really back down from what I stand for. He said everything was ok, but he is still sulking over his bruised ego. I need him to get it together cause I need some :lick: ASAP.
 
Man, when I don't let SO color, he sure does get grumpy. :nono: It's actually funny seeing a grown man whine and beg like a puppy. :lachen:
 
BGT said:
Man, when I don't let SO color, he sure does get grumpy. :nono: It's actually funny seeing a grown man whine and beg like a puppy. :lachen:
Click to expand...

i really enjoy teasing my bf. i need to stop. but it is comical. "this is the least amount of sex i've ever had in a relationship" "we're not having sex" "exactly! :mad:"

:lachen::lachen::lachen:

his voice gets all deep and he's like "girl, you better stop".

and i'm basically rolling on the floor laughing my a.s.s off. :lol: it's pretty hot too. :look:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

M
relationship help
Replies
7
Views
1K
MsSharee06
M
Rainbow Dash
Folks, we are experiencing tribulation
Replies
23
Views
4K
Shimmie
Shimmie
Shimmie
Black Folks in Heaven ...
Replies
11
Views
4K
Guitarhero
Guitarhero
delitefulmane
Maintaining a Long Distance relationship....
Replies
3
Views
2K
delitefulmane
delitefulmane
N
God bringing folks into our lives according to His plan
Replies
6
Views
3K
BLESSED1
BLESSED1
Back
Top