2011 “Relationship” Resolutions

CurliDiva

CurliDiva

Well-Known Member
Hey Ladies,
With the New Year fast approaching, does anyone have any “relationship” “resolutions that they plan to work on in 2011.
Doesn’t matter whether you are single, coupled up or married – what you are planning to DO differently “relationship-wise” in 2011?
It could be something small like kiss your SO everyday, go out more often or something much deeper like leave a dysfunctional relationship...what are your 2011 “Relationship” Resolutions?
 
I'll come back. I'm still trying to figure out a bunch of stuff.

Update 12/14: 1. I decided to keep it simple for this year since I'm starting with nothing. I've never been on a date. So my Resolution is to go on atleast 10 dates this year.
2. Expose myself to more places and people.
 
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Start going out more so I can be found

ETA: I will also start being less on guard so to speak.I grew up in the hood and I have been close to being kidnapped so I still have the defenses up esp when I'm out.Its like since Im living at home which is in the hood being nice is ignored and at times is laughed at.Which does nothing for me attempting to create new habits.

I hope that I will be able remember all the things I have learned on the site from the real women not the ones who have made their online persona seem perfect but the ones who are really sincere.I also hope I will not be blinded by my own want of affection and not stay in a situation bc I just want someone..
 
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Nice thread. I really hesitate to post in this one because I did for the one for 2010 and didn't reach any of the goals that I had except avoiding certain kind of men into my life. I am going to come back to this one with a more carefully planned out goal for 2011. I know what I want. I am just having a hard time deciding how I am going to get it.
 
For 2011 I want to keep up the same effort in my relationship. I want to stay just as sexy, affectionate, and communicative. I'm lucky to have found such a good guy, I don't want him to feel like I take him for granted.

I'll practice Buddhist non-attachment. I don't want to cling too tightly and start to define myself by my relationship to him. I also don't want to get too caught up in the details of our wedding. I refuse to turn into bridezilla!

Next year I won't take out any resentment on him when I transition out of my job. I will keep reminding myself that this is what I signed up for. I'll miss the money and excitement, but he's worth it.
 
i vow not to buy into the majority of black women are single, there are no good black men out there,if you want a man you have to follow this or that formula and look like so and so and talk like so and so and walk like so and so.

I'm just going to think positive and work on being a better me. If you build it (meaning you) they will come.
 
VelvetRain said:
Nice thread. I really hesitate to post in this one because I did for the one for 2010 and didn't reach any of the goals that I had except avoiding certain kind of men into my life. I am going to come back to this one with a more carefully planned out goal for 2011. I know what I want. I am just having a hard time deciding how I am going to get it.
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Hey VelvetRain,

Please don't feel pressured or disappointed that your 2010 dreams did not come true yet.

I was thinking of things that you are control - your mood, actions, behaviors that will benefit your relationships not only with a mate but also interacting with friends, family, coworkers or life in general.

CD
 
One of my goals in 2010 was to get out more – which I did. I did new things (with various Meet Up groups), hosted a couple of parties at my house (which also got me more invitations from others) or accepted invites to events that were new but of interest to me to try.

The outcome is that I’m much clearer about the type of people I want as friends. Also, I gave myself permission to limit my exposure to – the energy vampires- that always seemed to be depressed, in a bad mood or just have a plain negative thought pattern.

One of my resolutions for 2011 includes:

This may sound silly – but learn (and practice) how to flirt. Nothing outrageous, but I tend to claim up and get nervous when a guy express interest.
 
Continue to let him know that he is appreciated and support him in his endeavors.
I will keep myself up and continue to be true to myself and continue be that chick he fell for.
 
I think the first relationship I need to work on is the one with myself. I am by far my WORST critic. I can forgive everybody and their mama, but I can't forgive myself for my mistakes.

As far as romantic relationships, I think I need to do what Velvet Rain did and focus on avoid certain types of men. I have a talent for attracting emotionally and at times physically unavailable men.

I also need to branch out more. Right now, the only 2 places I really go are bars and 1) I'm not really meeting quality guys and 2) meeting guys that hang out where I hang out can get messy (like the time 2 guys that were interested in me both showed up at the same time, that was not fun).
 
HollyGolightly said:
For 2011 I want to keep up the same effort in my relationship. I want to stay just as sexy, affectionate, and communicative. I'm lucky to have found such a good guy, I don't want him to feel like I take him for granted.

I'll practice Buddhist non-attachment. I don't want to cling too tightly and start to define myself by my relationship to him. I also don't want to get too caught up in the details of our wedding. I refuse to turn into bridezilla!

Next year I won't take out any resentment on him when I transition out of my job. I will keep reminding myself that this is what I signed up for. I'll miss the money and excitement, but he's worth it.
Click to expand...

I didn't realize you got engaged. Congratulations!!
 
MzLady78 said:
I think the first relationship I need to work on is the one with myself. I am by far my WORST critic. I can forgive everybody and their mama, but I can't forgive myself for my mistakes.

As far as romantic relationships, I think I need to do what Velvet Rain did and focus on avoid certain types of men. I have a talent for attracting emotionally and at times physically unavailable men.

I also need to branch out more. Right now, the only 2 places I really go are bars and 1) I'm not really meeting quality guys and 2) meeting guys that hang out where I hang out can get messy (like the time 2 guys that were interested in me both showed up at the same time, that was not fun).
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You make a great point MzLady78!:yep:

Now, we all have heard about the urban myth of the couple that meet at the “club”, slept together the first night and went on the marry and be faithfully together for the next 40 years, but most bar encounters just don’t seem to turn out that way. :nono:

Let's brainstorm about some other places that you can go! But first, are you willing to go out without your bar buddies?

When I first gave up the club scene, I lost some "home girls" that were just not willing to go someplace new - which was ok in the long run, but it was lonely at first until I strengthen other friendships. Plus, I also had to get omfortable going places on my own.
 
CurliDiva said:
You make a great point MzLady78!:yep:

Now, we all have heard about the urban myth of the couple that meet at the “club”, slept together the first night and went on the marry and be faithfully together for the next 40 years, but most bar encounters just don’t seem to turn out that way. :nono:

Let's brainstorm about some other places that you can go! But first, are you willing to go out without your bar buddies?

When I first gave up the club scene, I lost some "home girls" that were just not willing to go someplace new - which was ok in the long run, but it was lonely at first until I strengthen other friendships. Plus, I also had to get omfortable going places on my own.
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LOL. Well, I definitely don't go with the intention of meeting someone. And the average of the places I hang out at is around 50 or so. There are very few places in Boston that you can go to that are Black folk friendly and drama free. I like the mature crowd and if something were to jump off at either of my spots, I can easily break a knee cap or a hip. :lachen:

But seriously, absolutely @ the bolded. I'm a huge advocate of going out alone and always encourage posters who are apprehensive about it to do so. In fact, I met my bar buddies when I got tired of sitting in the house and decided to start venturing out on my own since I didn't really have any girlfriends to hang with.

I am a member of a number of Black professionals groups, I just haven't been to any events. That would probably be a good place to start. I also plan to check meetup.com, I haven't looked to see if they had anything new and interesting in awhile.
 
My 2011 Relationship Resolutions are:

-Get out more and not stay shut up in the house all weekend.
-Try to meet new people and make new friendships'.
-Actually start dating again.
-Get over my fear of going out by myself.

I will come back and add to the list once I think of more things.
 
My goals are to:

Go out more. I have another single gf that would like to go out, so that's good to know. I only have like 2 gf's that I have that I can go out with, so that makes things a little difficult. But that shall not deter me. Truthfully speaking tho, I suspect that I will prob meet someone when I least expect it, when I am alone.

My other goal, is to not fill in my gf on every little detail of who i'm interested in, etc etc. They don't need to know everything. I suppose this is more of a peronal goal, but I vow to stop trying to 'gain approval' from my friend.
 
My relationship goals for 2011:

--Figure out if the so-called relationship that I am in, is worth it with that person(I dont want to be wasting time and for the wrong person blocking the right person for steppin up and being a Man)
--Keep my options open
--Meet more people(mostly men I guess this goes with keeping my options open)
--Continue to get out more and have fun!! :)
 
My relationship goals for 2011:

-be good to myself. Take care of myself, court myself, woo myself, etc.
-ALWAYS trust my instincts without question. I don't need to justify or rationalize
-nurture my relationships with male friends (platonic friendships)
-continue to support my friends' dreams and goals
-embody the traits and characteristics I want to attract in a spouse
 
2011 will probably be one of the busiest years of my life with an internship, a job, and full time school. Beyond that, I would like to be more communicative with him, which admittedly is hard for me. This would mean expressing my love/admiration of him more often. I do say I love you, but beyond that has been hard for both of us. Im a romantic deep down, and he's not (or maybe I'll find out). I also want to be more spontaneous.
 
- Have fun while falling in love
- Develop a closer relationship with myself and how I am as an individual. Figure out what I want out of myself and with my man
- Allowing myself to be a free spirit! Embracing my nerdiness, my quirks, my craziness, and not apologizing for it :yep:

- I want to go out at least twice a week and speak to at least two men, if I'm still single. I want to practice my conversation skills and not be afraid of initiating conversation (I won't be initiating dates/phone number exchanges, however).

- If I'm still single, I plan to be dating two or three guys during the spring/summer months. I can't say winter since it's too cold for me to look cute, lol.

- Get closer to my friends and family :yep:
 
my resolution for 2011 is to... not make a relationship resolution, goal or plan.
I made for 2008, 2009 and 2010.
fail.
soooo. it will happen when it happens... whenever that may be.
 
metro_qt said:
my resolution for 2011 is to... not make a relationship resolution, goal or plan.
I made for 2008, 2009 and 2010.
fail.
soooo. it will happen when it happens... whenever that may be.
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This is an interesting thought. I'm still trying to figure out if it's appropriate to make relationship goals. I've never made them until about 2 months ago.
 
1. To have a better relationship with myself
2. Do not lower my standards
3. Meet new people
4. Socialize more
 
My resolution for this year is to try to meet people. Right now all I do is work and go home, I want to become more social in hopes that I will meet someone, it doesn't even have to be Mr. Right, maybe Mr. Right for now.
 
My 2011 resolutions are to continue to go out alone, meet new people through new activities (funds probably won't be a limitation like they were in 2010) and do NOT under ANY circumstances tolerate sh!t from anyone because like my supervisor told me, my voice matters and has value!
 
CurliDiva said:
Hey Ladies,
With the New Year fast approaching, does anyone have any “relationship” “resolutions that they plan to work on in 2011.
Doesn’t matter whether you are single, coupled up or married – what you are planning to DO differently “relationship-wise” in 2011?
It could be something small like kiss your SO everyday, go out more often or something much deeper like leave a dysfunctional relationship...what are your 2011 “Relationship” Resolutions?
Click to expand...

1. Cook for my SO and me more. We don't live together, but he appreciates my meals plus I have time to cook these next few months before residency.
2. Do little things to show him that he's special, like a girlfriend coupon book that he can redeem for favors from me.
3. To enjoy each other and the time we spend together.
 
Find a way to stay close and connected and get our QT even though we'll be 100% on opposite schedules for the entire year :(

That's my only goal.
 
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