How Do You Feel About Black and Mixed-Race Children Wearing Their Hair

[mkd]

I think they are fine and logically I can't find anything wrong with it (as long as it's neat), but I was taught that little girls are supposed to wear their hair in pigtails, whatever. Wearing your hair down was a rite of passage in my family. You were trying to be "grown" if you had your hair down. Heck, even wearing one ponytail was a little grown up. I didn't get to wear my hair down until I was a teen.

I know it probably doesn't make sense, but it's just the way I was taught. Maybe it will change when I have my own little girl.

To me, it has nothing to do with texture but I just think little girls look my age approriate with ponytails and braids. I think wearing hair down and out is something that girls get to do as they get older. My daughter wears her hair out around the house but when we are out, it is in a ponytail.

 

[TCatt86]

My mom used to let me wear my hair out for special occasions, like recitals and performances, basically it was a braid out. I think it's acceptable to let your child wear their hair out regardless of texture. I love seeing kids with afros.

 

[tocktick]

My heart tends to sink when I see little girls with some mega dry and crusty looking braids, a scraggly pony or just plain damaged hair even if it's out. What matters more to me is a child just having healthy hair. I think loose hair is fine for any occasion. There are so many ways to wear one's hair loose without it simply just being up in the hair, hanging down or whatever - a hairband, clip-on flower, ribbon etc can all be added to the hair to pin it back in some way. I don't see wearing hair loose as trying to be "grown".

However, I don't think loose hair is always practical because kids like to play and that makes their hair more susceptible to knotting, tangling etc especially with the curlier/more textured hair types.

 

[SmartyPants]

I personally think black folks (women) spend too much time on superficial things like how someone is dressed or whether or not a kid needs their hair combed (and yes, I recognize the irony of being on a hair board posting this but I am inflicting my hair neuroses on myself not someone else).

I saw this with the thread on whether or not Malia Obama's braids were too frizzy and needed to be redone. I saw it again on the Wayne Brady thread. Personally, I didn't see what the big problem with WB's daughter's hair was. Her hair looked like the hair of the dozens of white girls I see on a daily basis. The kid likely goes to school with a bunch of white kids and she fits right in with them. Only in the black community do we find it necessary to rake our kids hair back into tight ponytail--all so we can have other grown folks talk about how well we take care of our kids.

As for the "looking grown" comments... black folks have been clinging to those "old school" methods of controlling kids for years. Yet, we still have the highest teen/out-of-wedlock pregnancy rates, highest high school dropout rates, lowest standardized test scores, and highest incarceration rates in the country. Perhaps we should try some "new school" methods of dealing with our kids.

Dirty, matted, super dry hair is a completely different story--but only because I fear the kid's hair will fall out.

 

[mkd]

I personally think black folks (women) spend too much time on superficial things like how someone is dressed or whether or not a kid needs their hair combed (and yes, I recognize the irony of being on a hair board posting this but I am inflicting my hair neuroses on myself not someone else).

I saw this with the thread on whether or not Malia Obama's braids were too frizzy and needed to be redone. I saw it again on the Wayne Brady thread. Personally, I didn't see what the big problem with WB's daughter's hair was. Her hair looked like the hair of the dozens of white girls I see on a daily basis. The kid likely goes to school with a bunch of white kids and she fits right in with them. Only in the black community do we find it necessary to rake our kids hair back into tight ponytail--all so we can have other grown folks talk about how well we take care of our kids.

As for the "looking grown" comments... black folks have been clinging to those "old school" methods of controlling kids for years. Yet, we still have the highest teen/out-of-wedlock pregnancy rates, highest high school dropout rates, lowest standardized test scores, and highest incarceration rates in the country. Perhaps we should try some "new school" methods of dealing with our kids.

Dirty, matted, super dry hair is a completely different story--but only because I fear the kid's hair will fall out.

You make valid points are most cetainly entitled to your opinion. I can't be worried about how other people take care of their children's hair. I just don't care about how Wayne Brady's daughter's hair looks etc, that is why I didn't comment on that particular thread.

However, I can worry about how I take care of my one year's old hair. I personally prefer that her hair be in pigtails. I just like that look for little girls. As soon as she will sit still long enough, she will be in braids. And her hair style will have nothing to do with her being incarcerated, scoring well on standardized tests, being a teen mom etc. I had none of those issues and I wore ponys until I got to middle school.

 

[skegeesmb]

I voted other because while I wouldn't let my little girl wear her hair out completely, I wouldn't necessarily have her is 25 intricate ponytails. I hated wearing my hair like that. I wouldn't put my child through it.

 

[Blondell]

I don't. Truthfully, I couldn't care less how others wear their hair. It's a personal choice dependent upon the individual and/or their parent(s).

 

[AfroKink]

I voted 'other'. I don't think of afros, wash n' gos, and other out styles as being an everyday style for a child unless she has a twa. To me an age appropriate everyday hair styles include twists, braids, cornrows, flat twists, pig tails, ponies, etc. I found 'out' styles to be more special occasioin or adult hair styles.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I don't even think it's appropriate for me to wear my natural hair "loose" to every occasion. I usually always pull the top into a ponytail and wear the back loose when I wear my hair curly. I have way too much hair to wear it blowing freely. It's not even comfortable because it gets in the way and in my mouth- not a good look!

My daughter won't be wearing hers loose and free either if she has hair like mine.

 

[audacity.]

In "out" styles like blown-out afros or wash n gos. Or in hairstyles that do not require twists, braids or ponytails. Keep in mind I am not talking about kids of the 2b-3b variety whose hair grows downward in curls, I'm talking more on the lines of 3c/4a/4b/cnapp.

It may seem odd, but I get the feeling that for many black people, if children's with this type of hair is not restrained in an elaborate ponytailed or braided style, then it's unkempt or not presentable. Do you find this to be true? erplexed

nope. and if that is what's perceived i don't care. dd#1 LOVES to wear her hair out and in her words "the bigger the better." i rarely let them wear it all the way out - not because i feel it is unkept, but because i don't want to deal with the drama of after-the-fact if you know what i mean...but very frequently they get to wear their hair out in wash-n-go puffs and wild ponytails and the such.

for dd#2's PK graduation i let her wear it all the way out and she LOVED it! i posted about it here and there's a fuzzy pic of it (no pun inteneded!)

my opinion: who cares what other people think! and this is the same opinion i'm working hard to teach my children about not only their hair, but a whole lotta things in life

 

[Chameleonchick]

I think afros look cute on my son. He gets a lot of compliments and I believe they are genuine. However now that we moved to this dry state I try to keep it braided and twisted more often.

 

[Country gal]

I get the sideways look sometimes when folks see my natural hair as a wash and go. More children should experience their natural hair. I also feel some folks just don't comb or detangle their kids hair and it looks a hot mess. They think it is cute because they may have a 3a texture.

 

[kblc06]

I think they are fine and logically I can't find anything wrong with it (as long as it's neat), but I was taught that little girls are supposed to wear their hair in pigtails, whatever. Wearing your hair down was a rite of passage in my family. You were trying to be "grown" if you had your hair down. Heck, even wearing one ponytail was a little grown up. I didn't get to wear my hair down until I was a teen.

I know it probably doesn't make sense, but it's just the way I was taught. Maybe it will change when I have my own little girl.

I can get with this because I was raised similarly. But in 98.999% of my baby pics my hair was picked out into a massive fro with a ribbon around it . I was so glad when my momma would let me wear 1 ponytail. But I feel that what you speak of relates more to the right of passage of getting your first relaxer, or first press...not just wearing it down in its natural state but in a straightened state.

please this is my pet peeve. I dont care how u style it but it needs to be neat. i know kids mess up their hair but pull a comb through it and PLEASE put some moisturizer in it. that really is my pet peeve to see fly momma's and their children rnt as fly. to me ur children should be fly first and then u.

What do you mean by combed....into a style like ponytails or can it be loose unstraightened? I don't know if this necessarily relates to mothers keeping themselves in the latest fashion while their children look like raggamuffins, but you can still look fly with a well groomed afro

I have to agree with the 3bc hair, my youngest daughter is 6 and I feel as if I don't put it in a nice and neat ponytail or slicked back then she looks a hot mess. Not to mention, she has broken edges due to this style. Now my oldest daughter,14, has 4b hair very thick and I was trying to get her pretty close to natural, however over the summer she went to her grandmothers and they slapped a perm in her hair. I get tired of the "what their hair should look like" comments. Oh her hair is a mess, or why didn't someone do her hair? Get over it. I have two daughters with very different hair textures, I am not mixed, my husband is not mixed, but we get "well it's somewhere in your family" What? Granted children should be well taken care of and look presentable, but a lot of parents don't know the proper way of caring for their own hair let alone their children's. I know I had no clue until I found this site, grease was my way. Now I teach them to co-wash, condition and moisturize. And for Wayne Brady's daughter, totally cute, not her fault, but doesn't Wendy have hairdressers for her guests (even if it is the guests children) Just my thoughts, have a great day!!!

I also have type 3 hair and one MAJOR characteristic of my hair is that it NEVER stays put. Ever. the end. period. Which is one of the reasons my mom decided to relax my hair when I was 8. Even though it was completely unmanageable, it never stayed in any style you managed to put it in because it would just frizz right up and out of the ponytails. Even now unless I secure the ends of my braided ponytail with rubberbands, it will unravel completely to the root. No cornrowed or flat twisted style I've created has lasted more than 11 days . Resistance is futile :angeldevi

 

[Oasis]

Guess I'm the only one who finds this adorable.

 

[FindingMe]

i think most ladies would like to say that in theory it's acceptable for kids to wear WnG hair or afros, but when seen or observed, it's a completely different story for them.

Unless it's looking like a nice braidout, like Jaden or Willow Smith, or some twists like Malia Obama, I've seen quite a few ladies on here give Henry and Zahara's parents h-e-doublehockeysticks for allowing them to wear WnGs

 

[wavezncurlz]

^^^^ no. I think it's cute too. My oldest has hair like the oldest one (boy or girl?). and for the record, I take care of her hair - it looked like this the second day after getting it braided. This is why we usually do twists (they stay in better and when the begin to unravel, they are cute twirlies) and pony tails.

 

[FindingMe]

I think afros look cute on my son. He gets a lot of compliments and I believe they are genuine. However now that we moved to this dry state I try to keep it braided and twisted more often.

WHAT CUTIES!!!!! Good job, momma!

 

[nysister]

As long as it's neat and in a casual setting. If I ever have one, she'll wear it out and curly!

That's why I love this pic.

 

[FindingMe]

^^^^ no. I think it's cute too. My oldest has hair like the oldest one (boy or girl?). and for the record, I take care of her hair - it looked like this the second day after getting it braided. This is why we usually do twists (they stay in better and when the begin to unravel, they are cute twirlies) and pony tails.

Me, too...CUTE!...

I cringe everytime I go into those Zahara threads bc my daughter has hair JUST LIKE HER and no matter what I do bc it is so fine and thin and tightly coiled, the WnGs translate like that. I am not ignorant in caring for our hair, it just translates diferently. Close up, it's darling to see all these little silky penspring coils, but from far away it looks just like Zahara's and the few threads I'd been in about her hair 90% of the folks were like Brad and Angelina should be whipped for letting her out of the house like that. I've since stopped going in those threads I think my babies hair is cute...and Zahara's...and Henry's...

 

[nysister]

I think afros look cute on my son. He gets a lot of compliments and I believe they are genuine. However now that we moved to this dry state I try to keep it braided and twisted more often.

How cute is he! Love the hair. Adorable family.

 

[heyfranz]

As the grandmother of 5 mixed race children, i find this is perfectly acceptable. I am learning to deal with their hair types as well as mine, and one of my granddaughters is extremely tender headed, so i just let her take it easy. They're only children. It's not that big of a deal to me.

 

[Chameleonchick]

WHAT CUTIES!!!!! Good job, momma!

How cute is he! Love the hair. Adorable family.

Thank you! I have learned how to take care of his hair and am still learning. Also from doing his hair is one of the reasons I am going natural myself.

 

[discodumpling]

I feel people should be able to do what they wish with their childrens hair without judgement from others.

 

[dynamic1]

I have no problem with children wearing their natural hair in out styles. The only problem I can see is detangling sessions from all day play. I liked the twists that Professor did on his adopted daughters hair..no bobbles, bows, etc.

Some people believe natural hair looks undone/unkept, but they have no idea the hair they are viewing may have been combed, detangled and moisturized that morning. People even said Will Smith's son needed his hair combed and I didn't understand how they knew it had not been.

Also, some textures do not reflect light well...so all that talk about needing moisturizer is bunk most of the time. Unless you juice it up and let your soul glow, some textures will never "look" moisturized...especially with certain hair colors.

If this is posted on the ET board, the outcome would be much different.

 

[ladysaraii]

I think Afros can be cute. I just think that hair needs to be neat, but it doesnt have to be in a ponytail.

Wayne Brady's daughter needed her hair combed or restrained. It would have looked cute if it were done right

 

[doll-baby]

Just as long as it looks like they are cared for (that goes for any child) It's a pity to see children look unkept at least put a head band or bow in the hair.

 

[Sonye93]

Children are children...if the afro looks good and looks like it was actually done then OF COURSE. Who would pick on a child because their hair is in an afro. I'm pretty sure I wore afros all the time when i was younger (mostly because I hated my mom doing my hair EVERYday, I hated combing my hair it was tooooo coarse) but I always put some type of accessory like those headbands that have a bow on the side.

Plus children shouldn't ALWAYS have a COMPLICATED style. Afros look good and are easy to do.

 

[Computer Blue]

I think they are fine and logically I can't find anything wrong with it (as long as it's neat), but I was taught that little girls are supposed to wear their hair in pigtails, whatever. Wearing your hair down was a rite of passage in my family. You were trying to be "grown" if you had your hair down. Heck, even wearing one ponytail was a little grown up. I didn't get to wear my hair down until I was a teen.

I know it probably doesn't make sense, but it's just the way I was taught. Maybe it will change when I have my own little girl.

No you make perfect sense. That was my experience as well. I got my hair pressed and wore it down for special occasions basically until I went to middle school.

I know things change though. I think it is fine as long as it is properly maintained. I see it often.

 

[JayAnn0513]

I voted yes because if my baby girl (4a, I love her tight little coils!) wasn't crazy tender headed like her Momma she'd wear a WNG w/ a head band everyday, no matter the ocassion. When her hair was shorter and she was a baby she wore her hair like that all the time, mostly because I can't part staright to save my life so my "styles" usually looked a hot mess. The only reason she wears it in plaits now is that it stayes moisturized longer and and I comb it less often which works well for both of us.

Plaits are more a matter of practicality to me than a style choice.

 

[MochaEyeCandy]

I definitely find this true. Sometimes i put my daughter's hair in a wash n go. Now her hair is 3c maybe 3b I think and I find that people think if her hair isn't in a tight slicked back ponytail(s) or something it's just a mess and family members look at me sideways like why don't you do that girls hair. I just give them the face and KIM. Anyway she likes her hair "out" like Dora<--(that's what she says when it's out lolI have no idea why)

My daughter says the same thing Too cute.