When A Man Visits Your Home And Your So Is Not There...

[naturalmanenyc]

The only men that have been in our apartment are the cable guy, repair men, my relatives & DH's brother. DH was home at nearly every instance. We have on site maintenance for the apartment complex so once in a while they come to fix something when DH is not home but I typically wait to call them until DH is home.

DH's friends NEVER visit us. He always goes to them....but I think that is a NYC thing. I've had friends for about 10 years and never been to their homes. We always meet out.

 

[PrincessScorpion]

DH's friends know not to drop by without calling first, because I'll refuse to answer the door.

Yes, I AM evil.

That is me right here when my SO is not home. Will pretend like I do not even hear the door bell.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Thinking about it, if I call my SO to come and get me from somewhere and he is with his friends in his car when I call, he will always tell his friend sitting in the passenger to move to the back if there are other guys in the back so I can sit in the front. If its just the one guy in the passenger seat I insist on sitting in the back although my SO and his friends also tell me to seat in the front.

what do you guys do in above situation? ^^^

Hmmmm. In the years we've known each other DH has only picked me up once with a friend in the car and when they arrived that guy was already in the back seat. I'd be fine in the back but DH probably would not like it.

 

[Highly Favored8]

My FH stated " no friends of his comes to our home when HE is not Home!"

AMEN to That

 

[Lady Esquire]

Come to think of it, no, I have never let a man in when DH is not home.

We live in Atlanta now, where we know few people. An old "play" male cousin of mine has been living out here for about 7 years. His mom and my mom are best friends for over 20 years. Anyway, he called me and we caught up and talked for about 3 hours. I am 31 and he is 39. He used to baby sit me and is real "good peoples". He calls the next day and says he is in the neighborhood. I automatically made something up and told him to come by with his girlfriend and daughter on Sunday, so he could meet my fam. A few days later he calls again, and says he's in the neighborhood (he's a real estate agent always showing houses)... and again I said the same thing, Let's all hook up on Sun."

Part of the reason I did this, is because he is a real player, never had a real relationship, blows through women like underwear, and is constantly boasting about it. Is that the type of dude I want hanging at my crib in the middle of the day, while DH is at work? He is a play cousin, not a real one. Nah dog, I don't play that.

 

[DSP]

That is me right here when my SO is not home. Will pretend like I do not even hear the door bell.

Shoot, I do that to all unexpected visitors. No call = no visit.

 

[Lady Esquire]

DH's friends know not to drop by without calling first, because I'll refuse to answer the door.

Yes, I AM evil.

I do this all the time. Its not like they came to see me anyway. What is the difference whether I answer the door or not. I check the peephole and keep it moving...

 

[bluefolli]

I think that's really respectful of him. It might be a Southern thing.

Before I speak to a man on the phone, I always tell the wife what it is that I need to speak to him for. It's just something that I do. Except if it's my brothers or my father.

Yeah, I do the same thing on the phone.

I don't let another man in unless it's a repair man...and I have to see some ID.

 

[MizAvalon]

Come to think of it, no, I have never let a man in when DH is not home.

We live in Atlanta now, where we know few people. An old "play" male cousin of mine has been living out here for about 7 years. His mom and my mom are best friends for over 20 years. Anyway, he called me and we caught up and talked for about 3 hours. I am 31 and he is 39. He used to baby sit me and is real "good peoples". He calls the next day and says he is in the neighborhood. I automatically made something up and told him to come by with his girlfriend and daughter on Sunday, so he could meet my fam. A few days later he calls again, and says he's in the neighborhood (he's a real estate agent always showing houses)... and again I said the same thing, Let's all hook up on Sun."

Part of the reason I did this, is because he is a real player, never had a real relationship, blows through women like underwear, and is constantly boasting about it. Is that the type of dude I want hanging at my crib in the middle of the day, while DH is at work? He is a play cousin, not a real one. Nah dog, I don't play that.

That's exactly how mess gets started. You did the right thing.

 

[MizAvalon]

Shoot, I do that to all unexpected visitors. No call = no visit.

Same here. On the rare occasion I will yell very far away from the door, "Who is it?"

Usually though, any unexpected visitors get ignored.

 

[winterinatl]

I don't have an SO, but I am always extra mindful around my friends' SOs. It's not that I don't think their particular men are untrustworthy, it's just that I don't put anything past any man. So I never feel really comfortable being left alone around them, or calling them up for something. My very close gf even told me once, I could call him if I needed any kind of help - she is sweet and trusting, and he's a good man. But I would never do it. Nuh uh. Just seems like a bad idea. It makes me uncomfortable.

 

[itismehmmkay]

DH's friends know not to drop by without calling first, because I'll refuse to answer the door.

Yes, I AM evil.

Thats how i handle it. I don't care who is at the door...even my friends/family better call or something. I've just made it a habit to not answer if I'm not expecting anyone.

 

[TCT]

I do this all the time. Its not like they came to see me anyway. What is the difference whether I answer the door or not. I check the peephole and keep it moving...

lol atleast you look! i could care less who is on the other side of the door, especially if my kids are in the house and i know everything is safe with my family. if you are just knocking at my door and havent called. i dont care what's going on, you could hear me talking on the phone, you could here the television or workout equipment - you could even hear me playing with or chastising my kids. if you didnt call you are not at my door.
i am genius at ignoring things

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Bumping.

Cause I'm watching a movie, "The Gift," where a guy runs into an old classmate and suddenly, dude is dropping by his house when his wife is alone.

 

[Evolving78]

Bumping.

Cause I'm watching a movie, "The Gift," where a guy runs into an old classmate and suddenly, dude is dropping by his house when his wife is alone.

I remember thinking the same thing too. Folks love to invite vampires into their homes..

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I remember thinking the same thing too. Folks love to invite vampires into their homes..

Girl. And she didn't even really know this fool. Hell to the naw naw.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I do not allow this. My husband has never invited any of his male friends to our house. He gets extremely irritated when my in-laws take it upon themselves to tell people where he and I live from church and in the extended family.We only allow in-laws and guests across the board to visit after they have been invited by him or myself. My closest blood relative lives one state over and the large majority of my blood related family lives cross country from me. There is no such thing as "was just in the neighborhood". If he or I don't invite you, you don't get guest treatment. I'm a stickler about the importance of protecting the peace of your home. I was like that before I got married and he feels the same way I do about people imposing. The peace and safety he and I have at home doesn't exist anywhere else and although we are gracious to invited guests, when we hosts there is no illusion that "mi casa is su casa". We remove a lot of opportunity for people outside of us (even those with good intentions) from having an impact on our home life and disrupting our routine and agreed upon boundaries.