You should be so ashamed of yourself...her hair is so nappy!

[Newbie2Beauty]

Hello Everyone! I just had to come here and vent because I know everyone here can provide much support. So here is the story. I just passed out spring pictures of my 11 year old daughter to my family. Well, my grandmother gets hers and her exact words are, "Oh no Hope, you should be so ashamed of yourself letting her take a picture like this." I ask her what does she mean and she proceeds to tell me, "well just look at her hair, it's so nappy!" My jaw dropped. I could not believe it! I am so glad my daughter was not standing there because I have worked so hard making sure that she is proud of her natural hair and the style she wore for that picture was a style she did all on her own. She was so proud of it and I was happy for her.

I am so so so so pissed off because my family is the type that uses the phrases "good hair" "bad hair" and it just irks me to the core! Recently my cousin's wife who has a baby girl saw some moisturizer I put in my 2 year old's hair. She stated, "oh I use that same stuff in my hair but not in Natalia's hair because she has good hair." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!! So was she trying to say my 2 year old has "bad hair"? My daughter's hair is very healthy and no where near being "bad hair." We need to stop this cycle of giving our young black women the impression that their beautiful natural hair is not wonderful and is something bad!

Before this incident I made the decision that I was going to go natural. As a child I had beautiful natural hair and my mom put a relaxer in it and from age of 9 I have always had relaxed hair. Now that this has happened I am now very determined to go natural. I want to be a role model for my daughters and not only tell them how beautiful their hair is but walk the talk. I just don't know how to get rid of this anger that is inside of me now. I don't think I have been this mad in sooooo long. I think this was just the final straw. Below is the school pic my grandma received and other pics of my daughter's hair. The last was my hair that they considered nappy enough that they just had to put a perm in it. The cycle must stop!

 

[MamaBear2012]

Awww...her hair is beautiful. Unfortunately, there will be many more people in the world who will think this same way, so you have to continue to let her know that she's beautiful.

My reasoning for going natural is similar to yours. I have a beautiful little niece who I want to be proud of her coils, kinks, and curls.

 

[FlowerHair]

Your daughter is very cute and her hair is nicely done.
You should be proud! Her hair is beautiful!

That was probably some old fashioned automatic commentary from your grandmother... I'm glad your daughter didn't hear that!

 

[Your Cheeziness]

I'm glad your daughter didn't hear that, too. Her hair looks great and she's a gorgeous young lady.

 

[MsChelle]

Ashamed??? I don't want to hear that word about natural hair again!!!! Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL and so is her hair. No offense but your grandmother should be ashamed for making that statement. She did a beautiful job on her hair and she/you should be PROUD.

 

[LushLox]

She's a pretty girl with pretty hair. It's a shame your family can't see that.

Just continue doing what you're doing as her hair looks to be thriving, beautiful and thick.

 

[Tranquility]

I just wanted to stop in and that your daughter is beautful regardless of what others think her hair should be like. It is in deed sad when our family members tend to still think this way. Your daughters hair looks so healthly. Keep up the good work.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I don't know what to say about this. It's hard to just ignore something like this.

But I do want to say that you're daughter's spring picture is beautiful! She's a very pretty girl...and her hair looks really pretty too!

 

[natural_one]

I know that is your family, but as long as you and your daughter are happy with her hair then the others don't count.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Beautiful hair, beautiful child. I fail to see the problem but we know how that generation is.

 

[lacreolegurl]

Your daughter and her hair....beautiful!! She has a gorgeous, thick, healthy head of natural hair. Good for her!

 

[Newbie2Beauty]

Thank you guys so much! I am not normally a person who cares much about what anyone else thinks. But this just struck a cord. I guess because it is dealing with my daughter. I'm so tired of it! Thank you guys!!

 

[Platinum]

Awww, she's beautiful! I think you're doing a great job on her hair.

 

[davisbr88]

Chile please. I knew girls who were relaxed when I was in elementary school who had "nappier" hair than that. The relaxer is not the end all be all and I am so tired of the older members of my family (mostly my dad's side) treating it as such, as if you are completely unpresentable if you aren't relaxed.
You and your daughter have nothing to be ashamed of, and from that picture, your natural hair looked beautiful as a child.
Before my hair was beat into submission with a pressing comb, I was told I didn't have "good hair" either and those same people are the same ones talking about it was easy for me to go natural because I have a "good grade" of hair.
They don't even know what they're talking about.
No offense to your family, but I just ignore that ignorance when dealing with my own.

 

[kblc06]

Your daughters are gorgeous and so is their hair! Simply beautiful! If that's "bad hair" I'll sure as hell take it

 

[faithVA]

First, your children are absolutely beautiful. I love that picture with all three.

I love that your daughter did her own hair. She did an excellent job. umm - she actually styles better than me.

As far as older generations, it would be nice if they believed differently and thought differently. And they may be way off base on many subjects. But they grew up in times that many of us can't relate to or understand. And they have had those ideas and teachings pushed into them for many, many years. Not condoning it, but just saying that she isn't trying to be mean, she just has a different history than we do.

Just be thankful that you and your daughter are able to live in a time where you have more choices and more freedoms.

 

[Honi]

My mom is like that. She swears that my DD needs some sort of non-chemical straightener to loosen her 4b hair. I tell her repeatedly that there is nothing wrong with her hair. Her hair is healthy and is mid-back. No one is allowed to touch it anyway except for me so why the complaints???

Humph...my mom is natural now too so she gets nothing but a side eye from me.

 

[HE_Blesses_MY_Tresses]

Im sorry that your grandmother expressed her feelings in such an insenitive manner. I think your daughter(s) (and son) hair is beautiful and I am THRILLED that you are combating the "relax right out of the womb" syndrome. I think its important to be that positive role model for them and youre right, at least your daughter wasnt there to hear that. You should tell your sister that "good hair" is healthy hair. Now, if she wants to talk about product for certain hair TEXTURES, thats a horse of different race.

 

[Prelude to a Kiss]

Your children are beautiful and your daughter's hair is lovely!! It's so thick and luscious. *drooling*

Everyone else can pretty much go fcuk themselves. How dare they talk about that gorgeous head of hair in a negative manner.

 

[Lucia]

Nice thick healthy hair I don't see unkempt her hair looks good in these pics.
Now IMO you need to check grandma quick because she will repeat that mess in front of and to your daughter and torpedo her self esteem. You should have a sit down and explain to GM that you didn't appreciate the comment and here's the reasons why you don't speak in that derogatory way about her hair. You may want to through in a quick history lesson while you're at it so she knows where you're coming from.
Plus you siad that you're going natural that's something she should know too. HTH

 

[Kurlee]

*heart melts* she's so cute! her hair nice! awwwwwww the little baby! sorry, just gushing. Your kids are so cute. I would soooooo ignore them. If they can't see the beauty in those faces and spirits and can only see "hair", they are the ones with the issue, not you.

 

[BlaqBella]

OMG! You have a beautiful family! She is a doll (everything about her on her picture day was abosutely precious)! I felt the same way about family & (the ridiculous cycle period). Then i spent more time here and realized the best way is to do things so well that those opposed to natural black/african hair (Jaws Drop). I mean give it time, patience, consistency, and some day this mess will change! Sorry you had to experience that.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Just wanted to tell you that your daughter is lovely, as is her hair. Unfortunately, my DDs have heard these same comments from family members. As more of us Moms refuse chemicals for ourselves and our daughters, things will get better. *hugs*

 

[JaszG]

Your daughter is so pretty! Her hair looks really pretty, I can tell its soft! I think the older generations are the worst when it comes to "good hair" & "bad hair". I am glad she didn't hear that, because hearing something like that from someone who you're supposed to be close to has a different effect than hearing it from a stranger.

I really love that style in the second pic! I'm going to try it!

 

[Arcadian]

She's adorable. Be proud OP.

And I would have took back grandma's pic.



-A

 

[melissa-bee]

Your daughter's hair is lovely.

 

[nappystorm]

Goodness...

I would have simply taken my picture back from Grandma (yeah I'm petty like that)


You and your daughter are beautiful with beautiful hair.

 

[Damaged but not out]

wow, ur kids are soooo cute

 

[Lita]

Your daughter is beautiful & so is her hair...Your doing a great job with it...



Happy Hair Growing!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

You can't change the mind of hardened old folks and people with this mentality. Please teach self esteem to your daughter and shut your ears to this kind of nonsense talk. She and her hair is gorgeous.