You should be so ashamed of yourself...her hair is so nappy!

Your daughter's hair is beautiful. It is sad that your grandma thinks that way. She is brain washed. Natural hair is beautiful hair.
 
EllePixie said:
Her hair is gorgeous and it looks healthy. I don't even know how to respond to the comment because I don't want to disrespect an elder in your family but...wooo chile...

I understand that older people are often set in their ways, but IMO this is NOT an excuse to let them get away with saying hurtful and ignorant things. I probably would have sounded like I had lost my mind to lecture an elder, but it would have to be done. And if she tried to get the switch...I'd get one too.
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Thank you for saying this. I can understand people wanting to respect their elders BUT you don't get to say flippant BS because you and Jesus use to be row dogs....just sayin....she would have gotten the business from me.....

You don't hurt my damn kids because you've got one foot in the grave and another in your mouth!

Ohh and your kids are freakin GAWGESS. Your baby did an awesomly wonderful job on her hair!
 
Alta Angel said:
OMG! First off your children and their hair are BEAUTIFUL! Secondly, you have to firmly, but lovingly let your family know that using derrogatory terms to describe natural hair, does not and will not fly in your household (or presence) period. I had to let my mother know as well. I told her, "In my house, we speak life instead of negativity. If you cannot say anything positive about my hair or theirs, please don't say anything at all." I said it in love, but she knew I was not playing!

I have a low threshold when it comes to my kids...you can say what you want about me, but I will HURT you if you mess with my babies.
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Off topic, I love your hair in your siggy pic. Very beautiful!
 
Honi said:
My mom is like that. She swears that my DD needs some sort of non-chemical straightener to loosen her 4b hair. I tell her repeatedly that there is nothing wrong with her hair. Her hair is healthy and is mid-back. No one is allowed to touch it anyway except for me so why the complaints???

Humph...my mom is natural now too so she gets nothing but a side eye from me.
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I'm laughing over here 'cuz that's exactly like my mom. She's been natural for at least 10 years (rocks a TWA by getting it cut every few months) and she tells me once in a while that I should try a mild relaxer on my daughter (5 years old) to make her 4b hair easier to manage. I braid or twist her hair once a week and am so used to my set method of washing, detangling, sectioning, etc. that I honestly don't see it as labour.

BTW, OP, your daughter is beautiful and her hair looks styled and cute.
 
FeelinIt said:
Thank you for saying this. I can understand people wanting to respect their elders BUT you don't get to say flippant BS because you and Jesus use to be row dogs....just sayin....she would have gotten the business from me.....

You don't hurt my damn kids because you've got one foot in the grave and another in your mouth!

Ohh and your kids are freakin GAWGESS. Your baby did an awesomly wonderful job on her hair!
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The bolded... :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

Agree!
 
OMG - What a stunning young lady. It's awesome she did her hair herself and you can see her self-esteem beaming through her smile. I'm sure she gets it from her mama. All of your children are striking.

I feel you on being erked by family that just don't know any better. All we can do is attempt to educate those that just don't know if they're willling to listen. My cousins are relaxed and they think I'm militant because I decided to go natural. But my mom is just now getting into her hhj so now I have a buddy :)

I'm glad your daughter didn't hear what Grandma had to say, when something like that comes from a family memeber.....it's a different kind of pain so again, i'm glad it never crossed her ears.
 
Your children are beautiful and your daughters hair is absolutely gorgeous!!!! I'm sorry that people who have been programmed to hate what is inherently a part of them, want to infect you the same way. Keep doing what you are doing!
 
OP, I know that you've probably already received a lot of support in this thread (I'm sorry that I'm unable to read all of it) but I just wanted to personally tell you that your children are beautiful. :yep: If the bright smiles on their faces are any indication, it's clear to me that you're doing a wonderful job of loving them as they are and instilling a sense of pride and self-love for themselves. :yep: :hug3: I'm sorry that your grandmother subscribes to the good hair/bad hair mentality. I hope that it will get challenged through your own precious children.
 
Your daughter's hair is beautiful and so is she. She did a great job. Please have a talk with your grandmother "before" she talks to your daughter.
 
Your daughter is beautiful! I can't believe anyone would say that about her hair, let alone family.

Your DD is a cutie pie. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Your daughter is a beautiful girl and you have beautiful children!

I think you have to be a bit stern with grandma though. While it is ok for her to have her own opinion please let her know that it's not ok to say that mess around your kids. Telling you was bad enough.
 
Newbie2Beauty said:
Hello Everyone! I just had to come here and vent because I know everyone here can provide much support. So here is the story. I just passed out spring pictures of my 11 year old daughter to my family. Well, my grandmother gets hers and her exact words are, "Oh no Hope, you should be so ashamed of yourself letting her take a picture like this." I ask her what does she mean and she proceeds to tell me, "well just look at her hair, it's so nappy!" My jaw dropped. I could not believe it! I am so glad my daughter was not standing there because I have worked so hard making sure that she is proud of her natural hair and the style she wore for that picture was a style she did all on her own. She was so proud of it and I was happy for her.

I am so so so so pissed off because my family is the type that uses the phrases "good hair" "bad hair" and it just irks me to the core! Recently my cousin's wife who has a baby girl saw some moisturizer I put in my 2 year old's hair. She stated, "oh I use that same stuff in my hair but not in Natalia's hair because she has good hair." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!! So was she trying to say my 2 year old has "bad hair"? My daughter's hair is very healthy and no where near being "bad hair." We need to stop this cycle of giving our young black women the impression that their beautiful natural hair is not wonderful and is something bad!

Before this incident I made the decision that I was going to go natural. As a child I had beautiful natural hair and my mom put a relaxer in it and from age of 9 I have always had relaxed hair. Now that this has happened I am now very determined to go natural. I want to be a role model for my daughters and not only tell them how beautiful their hair is but walk the talk. I just don't know how to get rid of this anger that is inside of me now. I don't think I have been this mad in sooooo long. I think this was just the final straw. Below is the school pic my grandma received and other pics of my daughter's hair. The last was my hair that they considered nappy enough that they just had to put a perm in it. The cycle must stop!

bh1.jpg


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hair.jpg
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HER HAIR IS GORGEOUS. I WISH I HAD IT.
 
I haven't read any of the other responses, but I just want to say that you both have beautiful heads of hair.

Your grandmother evidently is from an era where shame was attached to having your natural texture showing.
 
This brings joy to my heart seeing a 12 year old with nice healthy hair and not chewed up hair and ends from frequent perms or hot tools damaging their hair.... Good job Mama!!! You are teaching her healthy hair practices and it shows! Bravo! My MIL tried to make simiular comments about my DD's hair too. DD's hair is thick BSL and healthy... and when she witnessed it straight for a family event she started bragging about it to everyone on how long, thick and beautiful their hair was:perplexed. Only because everyone else was commenting to me (and her) on how well I take care of the girls hair:lol: Payback is sweet without saying a word!:grin:
 
OMG, your daughter is GORGEOUS and her hair is lovely!! :yep:
You are so blessed to have three beautiful children.
 
Ok your baby girl hair is cuuuuuuuuuutttttteeee, tell GM to chill this is not the 50's or the 40's. I'm going to sit down now. Oh your was cuuuuuttttteeee to as a child now whoever said you had bad hair should be ashamed of theirself.
 
ok, I don't know WHAT your grandmother is talkin' about, but your daughter looks gorgeous in her pics, all of your children are too cute! There will always be naysayers, even in your own family as you already know. Just keep encouraging her and your 2 yr old that their hair is beautiful.
 
:bighug:Your daughter is a very pretty girl and her hair is thick and healthy. I think she looks nice. Give Grandma a pass because remember she came up in a time very different and we all were subject to it. Natural hair is just now getting positive attention. Our well seasoned family and friends will be harder to change or to see the good in wearing your natural hair because we were taught that it wasn't a good look and the straighter the better. Many of our younger sistas still have a problem with it. With that said, I'm sure grandma didn't mean it in the way she said it, but you know Granny, she gon' say what she gon' say and she probably doesn't even realize how hurtful it was. I'm sure glad DD wasn't within earshot, either. You've done a great job.
 
Your daughter's hair is gorgeous! I don't know where your grandmother is coming from but you need to sit her down and let her know you won't stand for that kind of rudeness!
Seriously!
Your daughter's hair is very pretty and I don't know why people always have to be negative about whatever they're not used to! oh well!
 
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