While you were pregnant? His excuse is that you were being a whiny baby.
Thoughts?
How much life insurance is there?While you were pregnant? His excuse is that you were being a whiny baby.
Thoughts?
I mean, are these really questions? Is this real life?
I mean, are these really questions? Is this real life?
I know. I am literally in tears. He could not even collect her and the baby from the hospital. It is really difficult to witness such treatment of a family member and you cannot do anything.
And yes it is real life.
What I see so far responses is a theme of reacting as opposed to doing nothing.
So my questions are:
1) you change the locks, so does that mean you will NEVER let him back in? (Same question applies to calling a divorce attorney)
2) are you assuming he’s going to a woman’s house?
3) could he possibly feel like the whining is truly too much for him? If you accept and acknowledge this, what happens next? What will you do? What environment will you now create?
She's a pregnant woman. Things weren't going to be all smooth sailing. She was bound to complain about being uncomfortable, about being tired, about being sick maybe. I can't imagine a man who truly loves his woman hearing those things and not trying to make things better for her but instead leaves. He needs to be worried about the environment he creates for his pregnant partner and unborn child. This man walked out on her when she probably needed him the most. What kind of life partner is that? What kind of parent is he going to be?! When will he do it again? The kid is crying too much so I'm leaving? You can't just leave whenever you feel like it and then come back when things are rosy again. If it was me he could stay gone.
I know. I am literally in tears. He could not even collect her and the baby from the hospital. It is really difficult to witness such treatment of a family member and you cannot do anything.
And yes it is real life.
The responses don't seem extreme to me. The OP didn't say he left for a break. It said he moved out. What sort of adult person who cares about his mate would do such a thing. A break, ok. People get stressed (even though I still have a problem with a "break") but ok maybe I can understand that. But moving out over whining? Nah. Ain't no talking you can stay gone.I hear you and understand your point. The issue I’m trying to highlight is the extremity in the responses. Heck, some women (to include myself—I have two kids 12 & 19) can’t stand whining let alone a whiny baby sometimes and need to dip out for a break from the madness.
But to move to straight changing locks and divorcing doesn’t match the situation. Furthermore, to then assume he is cheating is even worse. He just may not be able to handle excess whining and if he’s gotten to the point of leaving then he must have reached his maximum tolerance. There’s still opportunity to work it out, let him have his break, and then come back to the table like adults to figure things out—hurt feelings and all. Now if he refuses to do that, well then he’s established that he doesn’t want to be in the relationship. However, it doesn’t mean he wishes to be a deadbeat father. Again unless he says such.
That’s just how I see the scenario.
I hear you and understand your point. The issue I’m trying to highlight is the extremity in the responses. Heck, some women (to include myself—I have two kids 12 & 19) can’t stand whining let alone a whiny baby sometimes and need to dip out for a break from the madness.
But to move to straight changing locks and divorcing doesn’t match the situation. Furthermore, to then assume he is cheating is even worse. He just may not be able to handle excess whining and if he’s gotten to the point of leaving then he must have reached his maximum tolerance. There’s still opportunity to work it out, let him have his break, and then come back to the table like adults to figure things out—hurt feelings and all. Now if he refuses to do that, well then he’s established that he doesn’t want to be in the relationship. However, it doesn’t mean he wishes to be a deadbeat father. Again unless he says such.
That’s just how I see the scenario.
Agreed. If he decides to be a father later, he can work out custody agreements with the court and I'd honor them. until then he can stay gone. I'm assuming he's dead beatish with that attitude so he won't come crying around until later...if ever, in order to take responsibility for his child. This kind of immaturity has to be immature in other places in his life besides leaving a relationship (and pregnant woman) over whining.I strenuously disagree. Since his behavior was extreme, it warrants an immediate and equally extreme response. Some things in life and relationships are deal breakers; and a man disrespecting and emotionally abusing a SO during a time of pregnancy is one of them. How hard and how long is she supposed to "work it out" with his character flaws? His dishonorable behavior? His immaturity? His apathy? Until she's broken and defeated? Until she's taught her child to imitate and/or accept such treatment? Nah. This is not baseball with the three strikes and your out; sometimes once is more than enough. He's showing her who he is; all that remains is for her to accept that truth and press on for the sake of her child. She's a mother now; she's working for a higher, nobler cause - her kid.
I strenuously disagree. Since his behavior was extreme, it warrants an immediate and equally extreme response. Some things in life and relationships are deal breakers; and a man disrespecting and emotionally abusing a SO during a time of pregnancy is one of them. How hard and how long is she supposed to "work it out" with his character flaws? His dishonorable behavior? His immaturity? His apathy? Until she's broken and defeated? Until she's taught her child to imitate and/or accept such treatment? Nah. This is not baseball with the three strikes and your out; sometimes once is more than enough. He's showing her who he is; all that remains is for her to accept that truth and press on for the sake of her child. She's a mother now; she's working for a higher, nobler cause - her kid.
He's not contectualizing her whining though. She's lost several babies already and this pregnancy is just as high risk. How about her fear is to have, yet again, another dead baby. Theres a situation here and not just an incident. This mother is terrified.Okay so now there’s more to the story. In this case, I would interpret his actions as not wanting to be in a relationship with me and I will have to get support from family and friends.
Is he a trifling partner? Yes.
Would he be the same with his child? Maybe not, maybe yes only situations and time will tell.
This is unfortunate and sad to hear.
He's not contectualizing her whining though. She's lost several babies already and this pregnancy is just as high risk. How about her fear is to have, yet again, another dead baby. Theres a situation here and not just an incident. This mother is terrified.
Maybe he is too but to state it being about her whining is immature at best, and cold heart narcisstic at worst.
He could stay gone.