Would you still feel beautiful if guys didn't approach you?

L

lushcoils

Well-Known Member
Now be honest. :look:


I know validation is supposed to come from within, but if men didn't compliment you, stare at you, flirt with you, and ask you out on a daily basis would it make you question your beauty?

Also, what do you think comes first: you get attention from men, and then you feel beautiful ... or you feel beautiful, and then you get attention from men?

Also, advice for those who feel beautiful but still aren't getting attention from men. What could be the issue?
 
None of that stuff happens for me daily and I still think highly of myself. If your looking for men to validate you it seems like a bigger issue is at play.
 
It definitely makes me feel more beautiful getting alot of positive feedback from men when I'm out. Its a nice boost. Their opinions do matter to me because that is the gender I'm looking to attract after all lol.

However, I firmly believe that feeling beautiful in and of yourself is the factor that exudes, and creates the attraction.

For women that feel beautiful and still are getting no response from men, I would say think about your region, living where you live is this a fluke? Or the norm? If the latter is the case, then maybe your specific region is not the most conducive to finding a mate for a women with your features.

If this is a rare exception to the rule, then it is probably something you're doing different that is causing the disconnect. If you get no love even when visiting various regions like NYC dressed to impress, then I'd say it may be time for a makeover because theres someone for everyone here!:lol:

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
That's a toughie. On one hand, your beauty should not depend on other validation. However, I would be lying if the male attention I receive doesn't put an extra pep in my step and add a smile to my day. I think that at the minimum, you above anyone else should think that you are beautiful. The male attention is just the cherry on top, I guess.
 
That's a tough question. I have always gotten validation for my looks so honestly I can't imagine how it would feel to go years with no male validation. The first time I bc'd I remember feeling invisible for a few months--that was a weird feeling and not fun. I don't know what to tell you. I like BlackMasterPieces's suggestions.
 
I don't ever get approached or stared at but generally I feel beautiful. Definitely not every single day but again generally.
 
I think that it is ok and natural to question your own attractiveness if you are not attracting anyone. As long as it is not taken to extremes of course. We are social creatures and we check our realities with other people.

To personally answer your question I have had healthy esteem for myself by being a really big loner, not caring about being in relationships (so I am mostly isolated) and most importantly, I realized that I could love my looks, or hate them, and I just decided that it was stupid to hate how I looked.
 
I actually like what I see when I look in the mirror, and others see the same and guys do give me attention. So my answers is, if guys did not pay me any attention I would be concerned because what I see in the mirror is what they SHOULD like. I'm in shape, have good skin and teeth, wear nice smelling perfume, dress stylish and my hair is always clean and when it's styled it complements my face, so after all of that, if I were invisible to men I would seriously be wondering what the heck was wrong.
 
Honestly I rearly get approached by guys, for along time I questioned whether it was my looks, but after conversations with guys, it turns out I just look pissed all the time, therefore unapproachable. Who knew?
 
As a human it's natural to crave human validation from people esp from the gender you desire.I often don't get noticed period so I have to say on most days I have to find me pretty or beauitful since if I wait for a man which it's been 6 years since I have had a man or any male contact I would be in bad shape.But it's nice for somebody else to say you look appeasing since we are human.
 
nik83 said:
Honestly I rearly get approached by guys, for along time I questioned whether it was my looks, but after conversations with guys, it turns out I just look pissed all the time, therefore unapproachable. Who knew?
Click to expand...

LOL! It's funny you say this, because I speedwalk in the evenings. I am loaded down with a 20 lb weighted vest and a hydration pack and sweat literally pouring off of my shoulders, arms and head, with my ipod with a serious a*zz look on my face and some of the most annoying men will still try to holla. I hate that! I can tell they aren't "quality" men though, LOL
 
RossBoss said:
I actually like what I see when I look in the mirror, and others see the same and guys do give me attention. So my answers is, if guys did not pay me any attention I would be concerned because what I see in the mirror is what they SHOULD like. I'm in shape, have good skin and teeth, wear nice smelling perfume, dress stylish and my hair is always clean and when it's styled it complements my face, so after all of that, if I were invisible to men I would seriously be wondering what the heck was wrong.
Click to expand...
i

I know right. I put effort into keeping myself right..mostly in shape, improving my diet, nice clothes, I have pretty skin and teeth, stay clean, hair styled most of the time, and I'm not getting the benefits. Lol
 
I don't get approached very often, but I know for damn sure it isn't because of my looks! I tend to have a very focused look on my face that screams, "Don't talk to me, I'm on a mission." I think that intimidates a lot of guys that might want to approach me because they think I'm mean lol.

But I do still feel beautiful, even without constant attention. I know that my beauty does not stem only from my appearance, but my intelligence, my personality, etc... And when I struggle with that, I find reminders such as messages from friends thanking me for helping them, articles that I've written, graded assignments, pictures in which I think I look really beautiful (like my prom picture)... Little things that keep things in perspective.
 
Interesting question, well I have always focused on if 'I believe I am beautiful when I look in the mirror'. Me and the mirror had beef a while back lol... :look:

but personally if I didn't like what I saw or did not feel attractive, guys approaching/complimenting me went unnoticed in the emotional warfare between me and my reflection. I am always more concerned with if I find myself attractive. :lol:

So I guess it depends on my frame of mind and the situation, if I want to be approached and I don't then yes I might doubt myself, but on a day to day basis, Nah* no one can tell me nothing when I feel beautiful-good or bad!
 
I love BlackMasterPiece and RossBoss answers, they're pretty much what I was thinking. I could break it down, but at the end of the day, inside I would be like, "Well dang, I guess they're broken!" if I wasn't getting some kind of attention. See? There is such a thing as raising your child with a little too much self-esteem!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Beauty, attractiveness and sex appeal are all different to me. I wouldn't feel as though I wasn't beautiful I would just think that I'm probably not coming over as being attractive to the other sex. That attractiveness may incorporate things like outward sex appeal (not in the sense of walking around half naked in case it's interpretted as that), confidence, personality etc.
 
I grew up feeling beautiful and that came from my family. I also don't know what it's like to not get attention from men. I've spent periods of time going about life with tunnel vision, nearly oblivious to every man that noticed me in a romantic way because I was too focused on me and my goals. Some called it stuck up, too picky, lesbianism whatever but unbeknownst to those name callers having a man wasn't my main purpose for being on this planet, nor did I feel having one would validate me. I always knew when I was ready there would be one. When I was single it was because I chose to be, when I was partnered it was because I felt like it and decided to take notice of the men who were already taking notice of me and chose the one I liked the best. I'm getting married in a few months.

Yes, I would still feel beautiful.
 
To answer your question, I believe you feel beautiful first, and then you get attention from men. No doubt about it.

Advice for those who feel beautiful but aren't getting attention from men. Never look for attention from men. It affects your aura.
 
lushcoils said:
Now be honest. :look:


I know validation is supposed to come from within, but if men didn't compliment you, stare at you, flirt with you, and ask you out on a daily basis would it make you question your beauty?

Also, what do you think comes first: you get attention from men, and then you feel beautiful ... or you feel beautiful, and then you get attention from men?

Also, advice for those who feel beautiful but still aren't getting attention from men. What could be the issue?
Click to expand...

On one hand I know for a fact that I'm beautiful...my own opinion and others. But, I'm also well aware that I'm overweight. I could look much much better if I got down to my ideal size (a muscular size 2-4). If men don't approach me I usually think it's because I'm fat or what I'm wearing is not flattering on my current figure.

ETA: I'm also kinda crazy. Men approach me but I'm hardly ever in a relationship, I think it's because I'm too out there (very forward, I will be the person doing a ridiculous dance in the middle of a crowd just to be silly). My male friends tell me I'm not too much and my sister and girlfriends say I'm too picky.
 
Last edited:
I rarely get approached...almost never ever...but I still feel beautiful!!
It's something that comes from within.
I'm not the ideal woman over here.
 
I didn't receive any male attention because of how I was dress. Which was mainly like a dude.

But after I changed up my dress to something more feminine. I noticed alot more people looking at me.

But men looking at me or not is not important to me.

I just walk around feeling good and dressing pretty everytime I leave the house. I think it has something to do with the Vitamin D....LOL!!
 
snillohsss said:
Hmm... Honestly? Probably not.
Click to expand...

Agreed. I BC'd to a twa about 10 years ago and I loved it! I thought I looked beautiful, at first.... Then I began to feel unattractive because I was never approached and even a little boy who used to think I was pretty now told me I was ugly. He was 3 or 4 so I know he was giving his honest opinion.

That's when I realized how important validation is to me.


Sent from TopNotch1010's iPhone using LHCF
 
Miss617 said:
I don't get approached very often, but I know for damn sure it isn't because of my looks! I tend to have a very focused look on my face that screams, "Don't talk to me, I'm on a mission." I think that intimidates a lot of guys that might want to approach me because they think I'm mean lol.

But I do still feel beautiful, even without constant attention. I know that my beauty does not stem only from my appearance, but my intelligence, my personality, etc... And when I struggle with that, I find reminders such as messages from friends thanking me for helping them, articles that I've written, graded assignments, pictures in which I think I look really beautiful (like my prom picture)... Little things that keep things in perspective.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I suppose I would get more interest if I was aware of my resting face. Men do ask at times why are you so mad? Hello I'm not mad just minding my own business. What's the lesser of two evils just do you or wall around with a plastered Ronald McDonald smile plastered on your face all day. No thanks. I would rather just be me.

It's really not hard to get male attention if that is what you want. I can check out a guy with one or two glances look away and look back and then he will wall or drive over. Personally I would rather not go through all that.
 
FlowerHair said:
I rarely get approached...almost never ever...but I still feel beautiful!!
It's something that comes from within.
I'm not the ideal woman over here.
Click to expand...


I here you! I'm in a similar situation. I know that I'm gorgeous:grin:!! However, I'm also very much aware that I don't meet the standard of beauty in my current locale. I do get looked at, frequently, but never approached. How do I feel about that? Well, I think these men are missing out on a good thing and FlowerHair, I'm sure the men in your locale are missing out on a good thing too!! :lol:
 
I've gotten approached when I've looked my worst, or am not totally confident in my appearance. So the connection between physical appearance and how often I get approached isn't there IME.:look:
 
topnotch1010 said:
Agreed. I BC'd to a twa about 10 years ago and I loved it! I thought I looked beautiful, at first.... Then I began to feel unattractive because I was never approached and even a little boy who used to think I was pretty now told me I was ugly. He was 3 or 4 so I know he was giving his honest opinion.

That's when I realized how important validation is to me.


Sent from TopNotch1010's iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

Yeah, I agree... Validation is important to me to.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

softblackcotton
If can't have someone you're attracted to...
Replies
29
Views
2K
WhippedButterCreme
WhippedButterCreme
G
How Would You Approach This Situation....?
Replies
20
Views
914
lux10023
L
P
How would you feel about black men dating outside the race?
2 3 4
Replies
100
Views
2K
Godyssey
G
**SaSSy**
Why do men approach me mainly when i wear my hair down?
Replies
13
Views
463
rinahbaby
rinahbaby
snugglez41685
How would you ladies feel?
Replies
18
Views
313
likewtr4chklit
likewtr4chklit
Back
Top