Would You Enter a Serious Relationship ...
- Thread starter loolalooh
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Tamster
New Member
Tried it, ended it. Honestly, it wasn't worth it. He thought it was something to be proud of, but I think you should be trying to work smarter, not harder. Dude was just doing too damn much.
Not worth it to me. I like to enjoy my life and I want my SO to enjoy it with me.
Seraphina
Well-Known Member
It depends. If it's because he needs to work three jobs to make ends meet, then no. No shade, but that man is not ready for a serious relationship IMO.
If it's because he works in a field that he loves or is a business owner, then maybe. I'd give it a chance and see how it works out for a few months.
If it's because he's ambitious and responsible and is trying to save for a house or pay off his student loans early, then yes. This also applies to someone who is, say, a med student or resident where the hours are what they are but you know it's leading somewhere.
If it's because he works in a field that he loves or is a business owner, then maybe. I'd give it a chance and see how it works out for a few months.
If it's because he's ambitious and responsible and is trying to save for a house or pay off his student loans early, then yes. This also applies to someone who is, say, a med student or resident where the hours are what they are but you know it's leading somewhere.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
Yes because I don't need a man to smoother me ie always being there. If he will be making good money then when he is home then we can have fun. I wish I could work that much that isn't a bad thing.
Poopiedo
Well-Known Member
I tried and it didn't work. I had an ex that was a retail pharmacist. He would work weeks at a time without a day off. When he finally had a day off, we couldn't enjoy each other because he was so tired. He never had time to enjoy his money because he was always at work.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
How would we date? lol
It would depend on how many years he'd have to keep it up and most importantly how does he decide to pursue a relationship with me and balance his other personal relationships given his working schedule.
I admire a hard working man so I wouldn't necessarily write him off but we'd have to work out some sort of schedule where we can spend time as a couple. 7 days/week is kind of rough
rough though.
It would depend on how many years he'd have to keep it up and most importantly how does he decide to pursue a relationship with me and balance his other personal relationships given his working schedule.
I admire a hard working man so I wouldn't necessarily write him off but we'd have to work out some sort of schedule where we can spend time as a couple. 7 days/week is kind of rough
rough though.
Katherina
Well-Known Member
Maybe, as long as he loves what he does and is (or will be, in the case of a student, resident, fellow, etc) able to provide the level of support (financial or otherwise) that I require.
I've been there. It can be annoying at times when he's really busy but it's worth it if he's a good person and cares for my needs.
The thing is, you may have to be ok with alone time even in dark times when you feel you most need him near. So it will help if you are emotionally stable and independent. Good friends and/ or close family are essential because you'll need a support system when he isn't there.
I've been there. It can be annoying at times when he's really busy but it's worth it if he's a good person and cares for my needs.
The thing is, you may have to be ok with alone time even in dark times when you feel you most need him near. So it will help if you are emotionally stable and independent. Good friends and/ or close family are essential because you'll need a support system when he isn't there.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
It depends.
I can understand if he's a young professional like a lawyer (like me) or a medical resident because things won't always be that way and there a big potential payoff. I like a man who's passionate about he does.
But no go with someone who's working 3 jobs that keeps him occupied for 12 hours out of the day, or a plain workaholic who doesn't have to work that much but chooses to anyway.
I'm passionate and ambitious with my career but balance is imperative. I want/need to find time for the lighter side of life.
I can understand if he's a young professional like a lawyer (like me) or a medical resident because things won't always be that way and there a big potential payoff. I like a man who's passionate about he does. But no go with someone who's working 3 jobs that keeps him occupied for 12 hours out of the day, or a plain workaholic who doesn't have to work that much but chooses to anyway. I'm passionate and ambitious with my career but balance is imperative. I want/need to find time for the lighter side of life.
chocolat79
Well-Known Member
It depends on the timeframe. If it's for a limited amount of time, then yes, but if this in indefinite, then nope. I couldn't do it, what would be the point? When he gets home he'd be too tired to do anything and I'd feel horrible for feeling mad that he couldn't do anything.
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
Yep I would, I have and I am. FH works 12 hours a day pretty much 6 days a week, unless he takes off. When he does take off because of the type of work he does, he's off for three days straight. But honestly the 12 does not bother me at all. When he's home he is home.
We both share the belief 'live like no one else so that one day you can live like no one else." We are both working for a cause to put our kids through school with no loans and to retire early with 0 debt. We're both healthy and very health conscious, so for us it's a means to an end.
Now in retrospect my ex was a beat cop and now a detective. He would work sometimes 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only thing he has to show for it is one house and 6 cars, no degree and certainly no exit strategy...but a whole lot of jewlery and clothes. Hence the "ex" factor.
We both share the belief 'live like no one else so that one day you can live like no one else." We are both working for a cause to put our kids through school with no loans and to retire early with 0 debt. We're both healthy and very health conscious, so for us it's a means to an end.
Now in retrospect my ex was a beat cop and now a detective. He would work sometimes 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only thing he has to show for it is one house and 6 cars, no degree and certainly no exit strategy...but a whole lot of jewlery and clothes.
Hence the "ex" factor.
After reading the OP I was set on saying NO because he wouldn't have enough free time to spend with me.
But after reading some of the responses and thinking about it a little bit, I would say YES.
Provided that (1) his work schedule wasn't long-term (2) he made time for me a couple days out of the week. (3) he was willing to take personal days/vacation time.
But after reading some of the responses and thinking about it a little bit, I would say YES.
Provided that (1) his work schedule wasn't long-term (2) he made time for me a couple days out of the week. (3) he was willing to take personal days/vacation time.
sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
firecracker
Well-Known Member
If all he is doing is working how ya'll gon get serious? How old is this dude? Like someone said work smarter not harder. Also work like hell when you young so you won't have to do all that when you old!!!
Everyone is different. I think we all chase money for different reasons.
If you want to enjoy life and not live on dreams deferred forever don't go near a total workaholic or someone playing catch up. His arse gon die before he gets to enjoy that money outside of his damn 4 walls. LOL
Everyone is different. I think we all chase money for different reasons.
If you want to enjoy life and not live on dreams deferred forever don't go near a total workaholic or someone playing catch up. His arse gon die before he gets to enjoy that money outside of his damn 4 walls. LOL
nelcoy
Well-Known Member
I couldn't enter a new relationship with a man that worked that much. Its different if I'm already in a relationship and he started working like that. Sometimes I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and my first day off, all I do is sleep. The days I work all I do is sleep, work, & eat. My man always complain about qt when I work like that. It's hard to fit in qt when I work like that. But the check is lovely!!
Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
Initially, yes. As a wife and eventual mother, no. He needs to be able to see and spend time with his family. I'd rather the grueling hours be spent during the initial stages of building a foundation before marriage and kids come into the picture.
greenandchic
Well-Known Member
If he need to work those kind of hours, even if its short-term, I doubt he would have time or energy to invest in a new relationship. Like another poster mentioned, how would we date? There would be no room for spontaneity.
I guess if we were both in our 20's it would be OK, but I'm not and don't want to live such a hectic life.
If we were already in a relationship/marriage and he wanted to start a business that would require those kind of hours, I would be OK with it - given our relationship is already solid.
I guess if we were both in our 20's it would be OK, but I'm not and don't want to live such a hectic life.
If we were already in a relationship/marriage and he wanted to start a business that would require those kind of hours, I would be OK with it - given our relationship is already solid.
Nayna
Unbothered
My SO has the type of job where he's gone for half the month, and if he has to do over time he can be gone the whole month. I thought it would really bother me and I almost didn't date him. I'm glad I overlooked it because it doesn't bother me too much. He calls on a regular basis and when he's home he's home. Plus he has a very cushy income so I guess that doesn't hurt lol.
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
Some of you ladies certainly have a lot of criteria for finding a mate.
Yes, I would and did date a man who worked (and sometimes still does) long hours. I later married him.
Yes, I would and did date a man who worked (and sometimes still does) long hours. I later married him.
GodivaChocolate
Well-Known Member
naturalmanenyc said:
I agree, my Hubby travels internationally on business all the time and is often on conf calls well after he gets home, sometimes til very late at night due to different time zones. It doesn't bother me because he always makes time for me even if he has to put a call on mute to talk to me. I even help him problem solve, give advice and provide him with my perspective on certain business situations. Although, he may be gone a lot we Skype and talk often. I sometimes enjoy when he's gone, it gives us time to miss each other. It's not that big of a deal if you go into the relationship having clear expectations of what it entails. I used to travel a lot on business myself, so I can empathize with his schedule and it works for us.
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If I did my math correctly, he would work from 9am to 9pm, everyday. I would prefer not to date someone with those long hours. I just don't know where we would find time to go out. This is dramatically different but those hours are similar to how we study in school during finals period. When I was dating during this time, everything dramatically changed b/c of the severe time constraints. We were ok with it though since it was temporary.
If he had to work those long hours during a certain period during the year, then I would be ok with it.
I would totally be OK with dating someone who is about to start a job with those hours. We would at least have time to get to know each other (and potentially what we want) before he started working.
If he had to work those long hours during a certain period during the year, then I would be ok with it.
I would totally be OK with dating someone who is about to start a job with those hours. We would at least have time to get to know each other (and potentially what we want) before he started working.
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how did you guys work around the time he worked 12 hrs consistently? when did you hang out?
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