Would you date an atheist?

[tinkat]

Atheisism is a dealbreaker. However, so is zealotism. My friend is divorcing bcuz her husband of 6 yrs is an atheist and she is not. Apparently he has no sympathy for her practices and beliefs and can be cruel when she brings it up or is getting ready to leave for worship. Ain't happening here.

Did she know that he was an atheist????

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[LovelyNaps26]

absolutely, 100% NO!!!.

i could be cool w/ an atheist but best friends...um... probably not. it's like being a painter and being friends with someone who doesn't appreciate or like art. i mean you could chill with them but there's going to be a disconnect.

 

[EagleEyes85]

My aunt and married an athiest who years later converted and joined a Baptist church. He's still active in the church.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

My aunt and married an athiest who years later converted and joined a Baptist church. He's still active in the church.

Wow. She's favored!

 

[MissNina]

Nope. Turn off.

 

[VeryBecoming]

Yes please!

 

[Evolving78]

i was married to one, no thanks! he didn't respect my beliefs and would like to debate all of the time. it was draining.

 

[carcajada]

Um that's not being choosy. I look at it like this, God should always be more important than any man in your life. Your beliefs and relationship with God are not something that should be compromised. Its all about being equally yoked. If he's atheist, then you won't be equally yoked. It will cause problems. I wouldn't do it.

Not only that, but where's the foundation of the relationship? What/who will an atheist turn to in times of trouble? Himself? Yeah ok. That wouldn't work as man will and has always failed by depending on himself.

 

[DarkJoy]

Did she know that he was an atheist???

@tinkat: yes she did. she said he was respectful at first and said nothing mean. He just silently disagreed but she was OK with that. Over the years he's gotten verbal about it. He'll say stuff to her that completely crushes her about her religion, like as she's reading prayer books he'll say, "It's dumb to keep reading that fiction. Might as well be reading Stephen King!" And laugh at her.

Me and her both share the same religion (we're not Christian), but in the end, it is the same. Basic beliefs about our human foundations have to be shared or there is no foundation to the relationship. Period. No matter what religion you are.

i was married to one, no thanks! he didn't respect my beliefs and would like to debate all of the time. it was draining.

^^^Yep. This.

 

[DarkJoy]

Not only that, but where's the foundation of the relationship? What/who will an atheist turn to in times of trouble? Himself? Yeah ok. That wouldn't work as man will and has always failed by depending on himself.

yes @carcajada! my friend who i've mentioned with the atheist husband had his father pass earlier this year. he's having a tremendously difficult time wrapping his mind around the fact that his father no longer exists--anywhere! not even in the afterlife. he's even gotten MORE cruel with his religious wife after his dad's death, which is why she is now considering divorce.

absolutely, 100% NO!!!.

i could be cool w/ an atheist but best friends...um... probably not. it's like being a painter and being friends with someone who doesn't appreciate or like art. i mean you could chill with them but there's going to be a disconnect.

Umm no LovelyNaps26. Can't even do it as friends. I have an atheist friend and when I mention meditation she gets all mean and says ish like that aint real. meditation and prayers are not about this or that. it's brain chemistry and nothing more.

i need a friend who i can be me 100%. i dropped her. spiritualism is who i am and it's difficult to turn it off even over wine and a movie with an acquaintence for a few hours.

 

[bizybee316]

nvmerplexed

 

[tinkat]

Basic beliefs about our human foundations have to be shared or there is no foundation to the relationship.

I am learning that this is so true across the board as far as values go. It doesn't matter how open minded you are you have to be realistic. There are some things that can be compromised on but core values have to be the same.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[ChasingBliss]

I am learning that this is so true across the board as far as values go. It doesn't matter how open minded you are you have to be realistic. There are some things that can be compromised on but core values have to be the same.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

This is very true....one of them being respect no matter what your spiritual beliefs are or lack there of.

 

[Enyo]

Not only that, but where's the foundation of the relationship? What/who will an atheist turn to in times of trouble? Himself? Yeah ok. That wouldn't work as man will and has always failed by depending on himself.

The foundation of a secular relationship is the desire to commit oneself to a partner. I am not a polygamist. My relationships are between me and my SO - not us and God. And for the record, we atheists do just fine in times of trouble. I must admit that I find it both amusing and disheartening that people cannot fathom the idea that stressful situations can be navigated perfectly well without the use of superstition and religious texts. Ironically, my most disfunction relationship was with a religious man who wanted to bring God into everything we did. I left. I think he and God are still together, though. Good for them.

 

[kismettt]

not if he were annoying about it (same with someone who is religious). & if it were important to him that it is important to his partner, then it probably wouldn't work either.

i'm agnostic and really don't care about your faith as long as you respect my beliefs as well. i have little interest in debating whether or not god exists, so if that is something that is super important to him...nope. pass.

 

[tinkat]

The foundation of a secular relationship is the desire to commit oneself to a partner. I am not a polygamist. My relationships are between me and my SO - not us and God. And for the record, we atheists do just fine in times of trouble. I must admit that I find it both amusing and disheartening that people cannot fathom the idea that stressful situations can be navigated perfectly well without the use of superstition and religious texts. Ironically, my most disfunction relationship was with a religious man who wanted to bring God into everything we did. I left. I think he and God are still together, though. Good for them.

Not disagreeing with anything here but maybe it was the most dysfunctional bc one major value was not shared....

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[carcajada]

The foundation of a secular relationship is the desire to commit oneself to a partner. I am not a polygamist. My relationships are between me and my SO - not us and God. And for the record, we atheists do just fine in times of trouble. I must admit that I find it both amusing and disheartening that people cannot fathom the idea that stressful situations can be navigated perfectly well without the use of superstition and religious texts. Ironically, my most disfunction relationship was with a religious man who wanted to bring God into everything we did. I left. I think he and God are still together, though. Good for them.

erplexed Yeah right. You know good and well those who hold certain religious beliefs feel their religion is the navigation system of life and life cannot be done without it. You know how religion works. Anyhoo, if you're happy then that's good. Just slide your ex over to the church women because if he is authentic, he is rare. Secular men with no beliefs are a dime a dozen.

 

[Seraphina]

The foundation of a secular relationship is the desire to commit oneself to a partner. I am not a polygamist. My relationships are between me and my SO - not us and God. And for the record, we atheists do just fine in times of trouble. I must admit that I find it both amusing and disheartening that people cannot fathom the idea that stressful situations can be navigated perfectly well without the use of superstition and religious texts. Ironically, my most disfunction relationship was with a religious man who wanted to bring God into everything we did. I left. I think he and God are still together, though. Good for them.

A bajillion thanks for this.

 

[brg240]

Yes, I happen to not be very religious but more spiritual and I wouldn't date someone because of their beliefs, only if they are a sexist. Because religious people anyway are taught not to judge and they should live accordingly

You're not including Christians in these 'religious' people are you? Because they definitely are supposed to judge.

oh yes and the same for any non-religious or athiest ladies, send those preachy, bible thumping, holy rolling, jesus freaks to any christian ladies you know out there. We promise to return the favor if wanted. All walks of life can be included actually...that would make a good thread. Dumping your man? Give us his stats!

lol this comment has me laughing.

No I wouldn't. The thought is so foreign to me. I won't date other Christians that have very different theological beliefs or ones that are non practicing either. Why would I date an Athiest?

 

[Enyo]

Not disagreeing with anything here but maybe it was the most dysfunctional bc one major value was not shared....

Actually, we were both very religious at the time. Having God constantly intrude into our lives is what made me question the life I was living in the first place.

erplexed Yeah right. You know good and well those who hold certain religious beliefs feel their religion is the navigation system of life and life cannot be done without it. You know how religion works. Anyhoo, if you're happy then that's good. Just slide your ex over to the church women because if he is authentic, he is rare. Secular men with no beliefs are a dime a dozen.

I would question your choice to ignore all of the proof, but that's the basis of faith, isn't it? I can't blame you. Questioning faith is a wonderful way to rid yourself of it. Deep inside you know that, so you naturally shy away from reality because you're scared of what a world without faith is like. Don't bite the apple, sister. I have no problem admitting that the world of realism is hard, and I do miss the cushion that superstition once provided me. But once you're out of the garden, you're out. There is nothing I can do about it now, so I deal with it. And, I must say, I've done quite well.

I have met Muslim, Christian, and a few Jewish women who all endured abuse and humiliation from husbands and fathers who were thought of as pious. To me, a man's piety is just a coat with a hidden zipper. It looks like it's permanently attached and is keeping him warm and soft, but when he goes home, he takes it off to show how cold and hard he really is. This I truly believe, but as a religious person, your answer is probably that these men were not genuine and that a real pious man would be everything you think he's supposed to believe. My response is that there is no such thing as piety. It's a delusion just like most of the other things you believe.

 

[menina]

Not only that, but where's the foundation of the relationship? What/who will an atheist turn to in times of trouble? Himself? Yeah ok. That wouldn't work as man will and has always failed by depending on himself.

The foundation of a secular relationship is the desire to commit oneself to a partner. I am not a polygamist. My relationships are between me and my SO - not us and God. And for the record, we atheists do just fine in times of trouble. I must admit that I find it both amusing and disheartening that people cannot fathom the idea that stressful situations can be navigated perfectly well without the use of superstition and religious texts. Ironically, my most disfunction relationship was with a religious man who wanted to bring God into everything we did. I left. I think he and God are still together, though. Good for them.

shots fired, lol. but to answer the question, there's therapy/medication. like people in general some go to their spiritual advisor, some go to their therapist, and some go to both.

No I wouldn't. The thought is so foreign to me. I won't date other Christians that have very different theological beliefs or ones that are non practicing either. Why would I date an Athiest?

right, i want to be able to genuinely share a belief and lifestyle with my partner. some people make it work for them though.

 

[Rocky91]

I am currently dating one.
I was raised sda but i am a backslider aka right now all i value in religion is belief in a higher power and the socialization that the church gives.
It works for us now but idk about our kids. If im being honest with myself the only reason id want to raise religious kids is to appease my dear family.
But right now im young wild and free anyways lol.

 

[Enyo]

shots fired, lol. but to answer the question, there's therapy/medication. like people in general some go to their spiritual advisor, some go to their therapist, and some go to both.

Haha @ shots fired. Yeah, my gun is smoking.

But seriously, I have had the experience of going to a secular therapist for help and a religious leader. The "issue" with the religious leader is that they have certain parameters that they are bound to worth within. If something is against the faith, then they cannot, in good conscious, counsel someone to do it. I keep thinking about my friends who are homosexual and had a very hard time accepting it because they were part of a religious community. Some of them actually attempted suicide because they were not allowed by their religion to be openly gay. A secular therapist who has education in gay/lesbian issues would probably have a positive effect on a person's life.

I don't see chemical/biological illness as being a spiritual sickness. Trust me. It is true that religion helped me a little with the depression, but did nothing for my hallucinations, mania, and delusions. Mental illness is hereditary and I need drugs. But I do agree that some people who are not biologically ill can get by with spiritual counseling, but lots need medical attention or counseling that isn't limited to a certain dogma.

 

[BostonMaria]

I was in a relationship with an atheist and it didn't go too well. He was narcissistic and very selfish. He would also mock my faith so after a while I had to let it go.

I have atheist and antagonist friends, but an intimate relationship with a man is a whole other story.

DH is not religious, believes in God, and that's hard enough to deal with because spiritually we are worlds apart. I would not marry someone who doesn't believe in Jesus.

 

[Miss*Tress]

yep, i need for christians to understand that there is a difference between being moral vs ethical and religious vs spiritual. i know many atheists that are about treating people with respect, kindness, and dignity because its the right thing to do, not because they are scared of going to hell . meanwhile i know christians that treat people like ish cause they are not christian and are only polite and well behaved on they days they go to church and the holiday season. i'm not atheist but don't subscribe to any religious restrictions.....i am a spiritual person.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

[Bozcurls]

Not only that, but where's the foundation of the relationship? What/who will an atheist turn to in times of trouble? Himself? Yeah ok. That wouldn't work as man will and has always failed by depending on himself.

We usually turn to our family and friends in times of trouble but in reality, one usually only has themselves to depend on. I can understand why some people cannot deal with that. However, my boyfriend and I are perfectly content with it. The results are usually more straight forward and more satisfying than prayer and what have you.

 

[weaveadiva]

Yes, I could and would date an atheist.

 

[StarScream35]

I was in a relationship with an atheist and it didn't go too well. He was narcissistic and very selfish. He would also mock my faith so after a while I had to let it go.

I have atheist and antagonist friends, but an intimate relationship with a man is a whole other story.

DH is not religious, believes in God, and that's hard enough to deal with because spiritually we are worlds apart. I would not marry someone who doesn't believe in Jesus.

Strange because this sounds like the one I was dating. He mocked my religion and was incredibly selfish and naive.

 

[FelaShrine]

Christians are weird.

date an atheist. do things in relationships you shouldnt be doing then get mad when the other person points out the hypocrisy and mocks it all

I'd mock yall too.*

Your text says No fornication. You're begging me for sex
You should be equally yoked. You're dating me in the first place
shacking up/having my babies outside of holy matrimony.

yet Im supposed to take you and your religion seriously








*Im responding as if Im an atheist man

 

[StarScream35]

Christians are weird.

date an atheist. do things in relationships you shouldnt be doing then get mad when the other person points out the hypocrisy and mocks it all

I'd mock yall too.*

Your text says No fornication. You're begging me for sex
You should be equally yoked. You're dating me in the first place
shacking up/having my babies outside of holy matrimony.

yet Im supposed to take you and your religion seriously




*Im responding as if Im an atheist man

What I find funny is the number of Atheists dating Christians. They claim to hate Christians but apparently can't resist. I find it funny.