Would you date an atheist?
- Thread starter StarScream35
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SummerSolstice
New Member
You're a Christian?You're not a very good one if you are dating an atheist
but this doesn't surprise me, as most Christians I come across pick-and-choose in various ways
qchelle
I think people of all religions, beliefs, and lifestyles pick and choose as they go. People aren't perfect, including Christians.
missjanelleb
Well-Known Member
NO, NO, NO, and HELL to the NO! (In my best Whitney voice). Girl do not fall for the counterfit. I know it can be hard, but HE IS NOT THE ONE!!! If you want to be his friend, cool, and if he begins to believe as you do, great. but as it stands now... KIM.
SummerSolstice
New Member
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
oh yes and the same for any non-religious or athiest ladies, send those preachy, bible thumping, holy rolling, jesus freaks to any christian ladies you know out there. We promise to return the favor if wanted. All walks of life can be included actually...that would make a good thread. Dumping your man? Give us his stats!
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
I think her mind is made up already.
I never like to tell people NOT to do something once their heart is involved. I personally dont have an issue with this, but your post grabbed me
That "dont do it" advice NEVER works in matters of the heart....the lessons thereafter --whatever they may be, do.
Flawless_JYM
New Member
I agree everybody makes mistakes. The people I know that don't do organized religion say why practice it when your knowingly breaking rules? I guess its like why be in a relationship when your going to cheat? Personally I don't care what anybody believes cause everybody needs something to believe in.qchelle
DirtyJerzeyGirly
Well-Known Member
You're a Christian?
qchelle ....I hollered out loud
Lilmama1011
Well-Known Member
Yes, I happen to not be very religious but more spiritual and I wouldn't date someone because of their beliefs, only if they are a sexist. Because religious people anyway are taught not to judge and they should live accordingly
StarScream35
Well-Known Member
There was a time when I was like heck to the no I ain't dating no atheist but as time has gone on and I've met busta after busta, you come to appreciate a good man even if he is an atheist. I guess that's where I am in life. Like I said, if there were an abundance of quality brothas out there, I wouldn't have thouught twice about dating an atheist but with such poor quality and the drought season lasting longer than it should for many many sistas, I can appreciate an atheist who knows how to treat a lady. When I lived in Atlanta, I remember seeing so many straight sistas break down and date lesbians, partricularly butches and I was like he$$ nah, what's wrong with them. But after a while I can see how it happens. It's certainly not the route I would take but I could see how a woman would break down and start dating another woman.
FlyyBohemian
Well-Known Member
I'm curious to ask all the atheist here, what made them become atheist?
SummerSolstice said:
Most other religions don't go out of their way to recruit, which Christians do...Protestants anyway. Everyone else sees their religion as personal and something earned (so to speak) rather than something that needs to be advertised and preached about every second of everyday. Jews won't even recognise some 1/2 Jews.
FlyyBohemian said:
It's interesting that religion is assumed to be the default...
Anyway, for me I would say I always question everything. I grew up in church. I enjoyed the socialising and the reading and the "school" part of it, but not much else. I always thought it was bigoted to say my supernatural beliefs are the only valid supernatural beliefs.
As I got older, middle school/HS, I thought more about it and distanced myself from church. Things like studying Mythology stuck with me. I wondered how many years until ever other religion became a myth and what would replace it in the future. For a while I was an agnostic who spoke out about the ills of organised religion- war, genocide, terrorism, hypocrisy, sloth
all come out of it. Really getting into science (bio, physics, chem) and thinking critically led me to full blown atheism and I've never looked back.
meesch
yeezytotme
because the ideas of a man living in the clouds/life after death/creationism make no sense and directly contradict science on earth. probably everyone shouldnt believe in a god once they get on an airplane
and i dont think it's consistent to accept all the truths of science in everyday life but still believe in the supernatural. the biggest nail in the coffin is the fact that christianity is in direct conflict with the existence of dinosaurs/the age of the planet. what more evidence do you need? also i was definitely done when i learned that christianity is nothing but a rip off of ancient egyptian stories.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
It's interesting that religion is assumed to be the default...
Anyway, for me I would say I always question everything. I grew up in church. I enjoyed the socialising and the reading and the "school" part of it, but not much else. I always thought it was bigoted to say my supernatural beliefs are the only valid supernatural beliefs.
For a while I was an agnostic who spoke out about the ills of organised religion- war, genocide, terrorism, hypocrisy, sloth
Not to participate in turning this into a why athiesm/agnostic type thread but I can very much relate to your post. I am not an athiest but I am definitely in process with the bolded. I had learned couple of things about Christianity and its ancient relationship to sun dieties (sp?) etc, I was just blown away questioning everything under the sun about Christianity. But I cannot abandon my belief in God...yaah sooo that's pretty much where I am.
Sorry, I certainly dont want to derail this thread. But yeah, I can relate to a degree
shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
oh yes and the same for any non-religious or athiest ladies, send those preachy, bible thumping, holy rolling, jesus freaks to any christian ladies you know out there. We promise to return the favor if wanted. All walks of life can be included actually...that would make a good thread. Dumping your man? Give us his stats!
I think this one right here is also signature-quote worthy! You ladies know how to entertain me!
erplexed erplexed erplexed .....what in the @$*%....There is so much wrong with this post I don't even know what to say or where to start....I might need to just leave it alone and keep my comments to myself...It does make me think about my favorite cartoons on Darkmatter2525's Youtube channel though...he is awesome btw!
*shortycocoa goes to youtube to watch darkmatter2525's videos now*
co-signing with what the other ladies said...they pretty much summed it up. For me, it wasn't as if I was taught Christianity or Atheism or anything else. I grew up in a household where to this day religion or lack thereof is/was never specifically discussed.
When I was younger, my mom used to make us go to church but she wouldn't go, my father wouldn't go either. We went to Sunday school sometimes, participated in vacation bible school one summer, etc. and I never had any real connection to it all because even as a kid I thought it was bs. So whenever I would be in church at those moments, it was just that...me being in church, just being there but not really there with my mind somewhere else, thinking I could be doing something better with my time and angry that I was even there in the first place.
It got to the point where finally when I was SEVEN years old and in the second grade one morning my mom got me up and told me to get ready for church and I point blank told her I wasn't going and that was the end of that.
I'm 32 now...going on 33.
I always loved science, nature, the planets and the stars, reason, logic and common sense, etc. and I still do.
Upthread I mentioned that I never used to reveal off top that I am Atheist to anybody, but now I do a lot more. And even if I choose to reveal it, most of the people in my life, like my close friends, will say they always knew or could tell.
I ask them how they can tell and some of them are able to cite specific examples but for the most part they say they just "know."
It's interesting that religion is assumed to be the default...
Anyway, for me I would say I always question everything. I grew up in church. I enjoyed the socialising and the reading and the "school" part of it, but not much else. I always thought it was bigoted to say my supernatural beliefs are the only valid supernatural beliefs.
For a while I was an agnostic who spoke out about the ills of organised religion- war, genocide, terrorism, hypocrisy, sloth
because the ideas of a man living in the clouds/life after death/creationism make no sense and directly contradict science on earth. probably everyone shouldnt believe in a god once they get on an airplane
the biggest nail in the coffin is the fact that christianity is in direct conflict with the existence of dinosaurs/the age of the planet. what more evidence do you need? also i was definitely done when i learned that christianity is nothing but a rip off of ancient egyptian stories.
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Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
I just dumped an atheist. I am very spiritual (no longer a Christian) and it is imperative I be with a man that is also spiritual and has a belief in a higher being. If I was a Christian I would not date an atheist. I know some people can make it work but they are the exception and not the rule. For something as big as religious/spiritual beliefs it is hard to move forward. Good luck OP.
nathansgirl1908
Well-Known Member
Um that's not being choosy. I look at it like this, God should always be more important than any man in your life. Your beliefs and relationship with God are not something that should be compromised. Its all about being equally yoked. If he's atheist, then you won't be equally yoked. It will cause problems. I wouldn't do it.
nathansgirl1908
Well-Known Member
Yeah it's always pretty obvious to me. This is a discussion I've had with friends before: how you can usually tell. Even on here just reading what some people say when they post, I can tell when they don't believe in God. It's not something I can explain. I can just tell. Even before they ever say they are atheist or don't believe in God. And before anyone tries to turn that into something judgmental, it's just an observation. Nothing good or bad.Upthread I mentioned that I never used to reveal off top that I am Atheist to anybody, but now I do a lot more. And even if I choose to reveal it, most of the people in my life, like my close friends, will say they always knew or could tell.
I ask them how they can tell and some of them are able to cite specific examples but for the most part they say they just "know."
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
This post raised my eyebrows. No one should break down and adjust her standards because she can't find the right man for her right now. Is there something so wrong with continuing to search? Possibly change up one's strategy and not one's standards? Some people don't meet Mr. Right until their late 30s or 40s. What's so wrong with that if it's worth the wait?
CoilyFields
Well-Known Member
To answer your question: No.
Now I wanna add two more thoughts lol...
Christianity cannot be compartmentalized. The world wants us to let it be something that we keep to ourselves. But we are called to live out our beliefs in every aspect of our daily lives, right down to our thoughts, attitudes, and motivations. We are also called to witness to the unbeliever. If one can "successfully" seperate that part of their lives from something as intimate as a life partner then there is a compromise of beliefs going on somewhere.
Secondly, heres a scenario:
I have told my daughter that she cannot go outside. She then proceeds to ask all of her friends if they would go outside...stating that its such a nice day and shes been inside the house for a looooooooooooooong time. She needs some fresh air etc. I would surmise that she is gathering other opinions because she did not like my command and is looking for others to encourage her to do what she desires rather than what I have said is right.
Since God is omnescient, He knows everything...including that there would be a dearth of available black men in 2012! So since he said not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers...then that still stands today regardless of the circumstances (its dangerous to only adhere to his word when it suits our situations).
God would send an athiest brother your way for you to witness to...but He would not send you one to marry with the hope that perhaps he might one day become a believer. If that were the case then He would be going against His own word. Its also not fair to go into a relationship with someone thinking you may be able to change them-not that you said you were-but that expectation may manifest itself later.
Be blessed sis!
Now I wanna add two more thoughts lol...
Christianity cannot be compartmentalized. The world wants us to let it be something that we keep to ourselves. But we are called to live out our beliefs in every aspect of our daily lives, right down to our thoughts, attitudes, and motivations. We are also called to witness to the unbeliever. If one can "successfully" seperate that part of their lives from something as intimate as a life partner then there is a compromise of beliefs going on somewhere.
Secondly, heres a scenario:
I have told my daughter that she cannot go outside. She then proceeds to ask all of her friends if they would go outside...stating that its such a nice day and shes been inside the house for a looooooooooooooong time. She needs some fresh air etc. I would surmise that she is gathering other opinions because she did not like my command and is looking for others to encourage her to do what she desires rather than what I have said is right.
Since God is omnescient, He knows everything...including that there would be a dearth of available black men in 2012! So since he said not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers...then that still stands today regardless of the circumstances (its dangerous to only adhere to his word when it suits our situations).
God would send an athiest brother your way for you to witness to...but He would not send you one to marry with the hope that perhaps he might one day become a believer. If that were the case then He would be going against His own word. Its also not fair to go into a relationship with someone thinking you may be able to change them-not that you said you were-but that expectation may manifest itself later.
Be blessed sis!
Enyo
Well-Known Member
I devoted almost two years of my life to studying religion from a secular perspective. When your emotions and psychological needs aren't tied into what you're reading, it's very hard to take it seriously. I now feel that religion and the supernatural is something that, as we evolve, we will outgrow. Even now, we see that societies that are the most secular are often the most stable and secure. America is the only country that bucks that trend.
We often chuckle at the superstitions of people who lived a few centuries ago, and I truly believe that in a few hundred years, our ancestors will be chuckling at us for the exact same reason. It's impossible to believe in religion and gods once you start to come to see that it's not born from truth, rather, it's born from a deep emotional and psychological need to make sense of what seems senseless, to feel protected, and sometimes to feel superior to others.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
I just caught this part when seeing it quoted in another post. I swear I hear so many negative things about Atlanta...that mess is scary as all get out. But I know as a straight woman, nothing could ever make me become otherwise. If I was single and things were that disappointing, I'd leave.
I'm noticing this as well, but didn't want to bring it up since it might offend some.
But, for the topic, I'm open to giving dating an atheist a try if he is one of the few atheists who isn't disrespectful against Christians/Christianity. I'm not sure how far it will go. I'm more spiritual than Christian, but I need a person who is respectful of all religions, not just pick and choose.
shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
OhmyKimB At least you are honest about it...but let's say hypothetically speaking, you never found out. What would you do? How would that make you feel?
Question #2: what would happen if you were already deep in love and had a lot invested into the relationship? There are a lot of closeted Atheists out there who never ever reveal that they are Atheist (especially in the African American community).
I have also found that a lot of times, at least from my personal experiences, that religion is not discussed as much as it needs to be when you are dating someone or getting to know them. Everybody who is black just automatically assumes that every black person believes in God or is a Christian and that there is no other alternative. So the conversations never take place until oftentimes, it is too late.
Question #3: This is not so much for you as it is for the OP, but what is wrong with you all mingling in religious circles or religious dating sites/social groups where the chances are more likely that you can meet someone who shares your same faith?
Over the last few years I have definitely opened myself up to being more active in Atheist circles and meeting other Atheists...
Great thread, OP btw...
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meesch
yeezytotme
i was thinking about this as i read the thread, thinking how lucky it is my bf is atheist too; or rather, how lucky it is that i cleared that up right away. even though i had reason to suspect he was, i didnt know for sure, so i brought it up on our first date to be clear. (of course, we were at a bar, and the conversation about religion, life, and death quickly got sort of depressing so i insisted we then change the subject
) i think about how much it would have sucked if he wasnt bc then i wouldnt have continued dating him or, it would have been a continuous issue for me. so, now that i know how much that matters to me in dating i am going to remember to always bring it up very early on.
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SuchMagnificent
Taking a Break from Posting
While I dont agree with the whole "atheist" part of your post, I totally understand where you are coming from relating to a shortage of good black men. It might be easier for some, but its definitely alot harder for most. The drought is real out here..I dont want to even think about being single for another 10 to 20 years..
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