Would You Consider Marrying This Guy?

BeautifulFlower

BeautifulFlower

Well-Known Member
Pros:
God-fearing, Tithe-giving man
Very educated (multiple degrees)
Flourishing Career
Intelligent
Reader
Well Traveled
Compatible personalities according to Myers-Briggs
Financial Stable, Good Credit
Thinks you're gorgeous
Thinks you're wife material
Takes you out, wants to show you off
Family man
Loves his mother and sister very much
Reliable, Dependable
Very responsible
Go-to man in his family for advice and issues
May be a good husband and father one day

Cons:
Very intense at times (like the way he talks so direct & slightly raises his voice when looking for an answer to something)

Always seemed stressed and isnt a naturally happy,fun person

Road-rage (will drive extremely/scary fast if someone does something on the road he does not like)

Don't like the way he talks to his family at times

Can be intimidating and condescending to others

His laugh sometimes...is...just...ugh

Other shallow things that are less important but add to possible disinterest for anything further
 
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Always seemed stressed and isnt a naturally happy,fun person
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This is the deal breaker for me. (Even though the rest of those cons aren't too flattering either). If he doesn't seem to enjoy life, you'll be with a downer for the rest of your life. Don't do it. It isn't worth it.
 
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Nope...I just broke up with a dude like him. If he isn't happy with himself, he won't be happy with you. He'll eventually bring you down to his level with his negative energy.:nono:
 
BeautifulFlower said:
Cons:
Very intense at times (like the way he talks so direct & slightly raises his voice when looking for an answer to something)

Always seemed stressed and isnt a naturally happy,fun person

Can be intimidating and condescending to others
Click to expand...


Everyone has issues so taking that into consideration I usually don't overlook qualities in men that suggest that if we were to have a disagreement or something worse in the future that he would show aggression toward me....That being said I would not marry this guy....I fear that he would make my life miserable....
 
BeautifulFlower said:
Pros:
God-fearing, Tithe-giving man
Very educated (multiple degrees)
Flourishing Career
Intelligent
Reader
Well Traveled
Compatible personalities according to Myers-Briggs
Financial Stable, Good Credit
Thinks you're gorgeous
Thinks you're wife material
Takes you out, wants to show you off
Family man
Loves his mother and sister very much
Reliable, Dependable
Very responsible
Go-to man in his family for advice and issues
May be a good husband and father one day

Cons:
Very intense at times (like the way he talks so direct & slightly raises his voice when looking for an answer to something) BULLY!

Always seemed stressed and isnt a naturally happy,fun person NEGATIVE & POSSIBLY DEPRESSED. MAY NOT GET HELP BECAUSE HE'S SUPERIOR...REMEMBER?
Road-rage (will drive extremely/scary fast if someone does something on the road he does not like) MORE ANGER & AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR

 Don't like the way he talks to his family at times THINKS HE'S SUPERIOR

Can be intimidating and condescending to others THINKS HE'S SUPERIOR & A BULLY

His laugh sometimes...is...just...ugh

Other shallow things that are less important but add to possible disinterest for anything further
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Hail naw!..... .............................RUN!!!!!!!

You have just listed the reasons NOBODY has snatch his arse up. His issues are very serious and will probably get worse in a marriage. He has a lot of work to do before he can even think about being in a serious relationship. He's someone's nightmare waiting to happen.:nono:
 
This reminds me of the thread I did about my current beau and I got a lot of "no" as well but to me he's a great guy but he doesn’t have the aggressive cons you listed.

But um, I'll say no. Dude sounds mean and I predict a lot of bad days in the forecast with that dangerous road rage style temper. I think his cons out weigh his pros.
 
I would say no. Everyone has negative qualities, but his are too aggressive and they could be directed toward you at some point in the relationship.
 
Thanks ladies.

I wasn't sure if the feeling I had against wanting anything more was because he of the shallow things I didn't like or because I just didn't like his person/temperment.
 
msdr said:
I would say no. Everyone has negative qualities, but his are too aggressive and they could be directed toward you at some point in the relationship.
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Thats what I am thinking. He all sweet, sensitive to me now but I see how he is to others and that worries me when he will eventually become that comfortable with me.
 
Why did I picture him, Charles (Steve Harris)??!
(Jennifer Hudson in male form) :lol:


steve-harris-1-sized.jpg
 
Do_Si_Dos said:
No, he sounds verbally abusive.
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I agree! I dated a guy like this before and he was verbally abusive..... RUNNNNNNNNN!!!!! :cowgirl:

Seriously... Listen to your big sister January Noir! He was a nice guy and we had some fun times, but I was always unhappy about one thing or the other. Dude did marry someone else and he's happy. She's docile and younger then him too. I wonder if they are still married.
 
not to get all in his business (or yours) but is seems that some of his cons could be address and worked on. Does he have a high stress job with no outlet?? That could explain his intermitten agreessive behavior. Not that I'm making excuses for the man. I have no interest in the M word, but I would suggest that you talk to him and ask, Do you get very stressed at work? Has he taken a vacation recently? Would a hobby away for hs responsibilities that he enjoyed doing help with these problems. Just my two cents.
 
Thats the thing. I've known him about 7 years. We had about 6 years between the last time I saw him. I remember being turned off by him years ago by his aggression. We have been talking in the phone a while and he appeared a little less intense. Well...that didnt last long when I went to visit him. To me, he was perfect but on the road and talking on the phone to fam, I got concern. I think its just his personality. We may go at it if he come at me wrong.

Bun Mistress said:
not to get all in his business (or yours) but is seems that some of his cons could be address and worked on. Does he have a high stress job with no outlet?? That could explain his intermitten agreessive behavior. Not that I'm making excuses for the man. I have no interest in the M word, but I would suggest that you talk to him and ask, Do you get very stressed at work? Has he taken a vacation recently? Would a hobby away for hs responsibilities that he enjoyed doing help with these problems. Just my two cents.
Click to expand...
 
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BeautifulFlower said:
Thats the thing. I've known him about 7 years. We had about 6 years between the last time I saw him. I remember being turned off by him years ago by his aggression. We have been talking in the phone a while and he appeared a little less intense. Well...that didnt last long when I went to visit him. To me, he was perfect but on the road and talking on the phone to fam, I got concern. I think its just his personality. We may go at it if he come at me wrong.
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Is he someone you are dating, an exclusive boyfriend, or just a friend now?
 
^^^A 'friend' with an interesting history between us (no need for details there). But we had a talk about our compatibility, me moving to be closer, and flirting with the idea. But something kind of got me feeling like ummm, I dont think I'll like you very much after a while.
 
I say trust your own gut instinct. It's fine others weighing in but you are more accurately able to see if his cons actual outweigh his pros in day to day life. A lot of people who eventually switch on you are at first charmers and on their best behaviour. Use your current interactions with him to decide whether he's likely get into that mode once you're less "new".
 
Ummmm,
Do you love him? Are you in love with him? If you have doubts, then no. Material stuff doesn't matter if you don't love him.

ETA: I wasn't going to share this, but I guess this applies. I dated a preacher. cute as hell;), spoke three languages, fiscally responsible and very charming. But over time (about three months), I realized that we didn't connect on basic levels (i.e. I like secular music and television. He doesn't. He thinks dancing and attending parties with liquor is a sin. I LOVE dancing and likka:grin:). The final straw came with the realization that he was starting to ANNOY me and that I was relieved when I wasn't around him, cause then I could be myself.

I guess what I'm saying in my inarticulate way is that if you can't be yourself around this guy, or you have to walk on eggshells, then maybe he isn't the one for you. He isn't ready yet (if ever) for the fabulosity that is you.
 
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No- I wouldn't - it's only because I have been in relationships like that and these are only red flags! There was a thread on here about the best advice your mama ever gave you and one of the ladies said her mama always told her that you should pay attention to how your SO talks to everyday people in his life coz that's the way he will talk to you one day (I.e when the honeymoon is over). Pay attention you may be on the receiving end one day - good luck whatever you decide xx
 
Thanks ladies. I think my recent interaction with him confirmed my thoughts of him from the past. Its nice to be objective points of view. Sometimes I think I am so quick to get rid of people that maybe I feel I may be too demanding. I just won't settle.
 
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