Should I continue this relationship?

[southerncitygirl]

Ciacia

Why 3 months? It can't be sooner? I don't want him, trying to change your mind in that span of time by trying to do all the things you complain about you let him stay and then he reverts back to his old ways when you let him stay. You can make arrangements at varying times for him to come get his stuff though it might be annoying. Give him a window of time to come get all his stuff in its entirety. I hope you are making him sleep on the sofa or another room. If you are done there so be no mixed signals by having sex.

 

[Carrie A]

Here in France it's really hard to get a place. He used to share a flat with friends before moving with me but it's not available anymore.
He can go to a friend's house but he cannot take all his belongings (the friend's place is too small), it would be annoying to have him coming back all the time to get stuff.
Complicated i know ....

How about a storage unit for his things? He can take the basics to the friend's place and put the rest in storage. There is a monthly fee but I'm sure he can manage.

 

[Kindheart]

@Cacia does he not have any relatives in Paris at all ?

 

[Ciacia]

Ciacia

Why 3 months? It can't be sooner? I don't want him, trying to change your mind in that span of time by trying to do all the things you complain about you let him stay and then he reverts back to his old ways when you let him stay. You can make arrangements at varying times for him to come get his stuff though it might be annoying. Give him a window of time to come get all his stuff in its entirety. I hope you are making him sleep on the sofa or another room. If you are done there so be no mixed signals by having sex.

I will help him to find a place asap to make sure things move quickly, 3 months is really a maximum.
When it comes to sex i cannot even tell when was the last time we did it. We don't sleep in the same bed, i can't do that

 

[Ciacia]

@Cacia does he not have any relatives in Paris at all ?

They all live in Turkey unfortunately, he arrived in France by himself 10 years ago.....

 

[MzLady78]

Here in France it's really hard to get a place. He used to share a flat with friends before moving with me but it's not available anymore.
He can go to a friend's house but he cannot take all his belongings (the friend's place is too small), it would be annoying to have him coming back all the time to get stuff.
Complicated i know ....

Not complicated at all.

None of this should really be your concern. You're trying to make things easier for him when he damn sure hasn't been trying to make things easy for you.

 

[greenandchic]

I agree with FlyyBohemian. Not only did I "date out" racially, but also in age and he immediately made sure I knew he was taking care of business financially while dating - even before things got serious a few months ago. He hit a rough patch early 2012 but made sure things were taken care of.

With that said, a scrub is a scrub and they come in all colors. They are easy to spot a mile away.

Ciacia - I been through it with my ex husband 13 years ago and vowed never to do that again. 30 is YOUNG. Hell, I'm 34 and feel like things are just getting started.

I will help him to find a place asap to make sure things move quickly, 3 months is really a maximum.
When it comes to sex i cannot even tell when was the last time we did it. We don't sleep in the same bed, i can't do that

Sounds like there's no relationship in the first place. Have your roommate move out and start the year fresh.

 

[Ciacia]

Update!!!!!!

Thank you all ladies for your advices.
As he was not too much into finding a new place, I found one for him. He will move on 1st February !!!!
Can't wait

 

[BGT]

Update!!!!!!

Thank you all ladies for your advices.
As he was not too much into finding a new place, I found one for him. He will move on 1st February !!!!
Can't wait

Ma chere, what about the rest of the issues in your first post?

I make more money than him and pay for everything. he does not mind being financially dependent on me and does not have a real good plan to change this situation
He does not like going out. Let me go to parties and weddings all by myself (and if he comes he always act exhausted to make sure we go home early)
I do not like his family (his mother in particular)
He did not do anything for my 30th bday and offered me a gift (which I hated) like 2 months after
We are not really sexually compatible

Why are you trying to fix this broken man?

 

[Ciacia]

We broke up but he is still living at my place. I called some friends to see if anyone was renting a place and got lucky. He is moving but I won't help him pay the bills don't worry February will be the start if a new life for me !!

 

[brooklyngal73]

Ciacia , any updates?

We broke up but he is still living at my place. I called some friends to see if anyone was renting a place and got lucky. He is moving but I won't help him pay the bills don't worry February will be the start if a new life for me !!

 

[Ciacia]

Hi,
yes February has been tough for me, he finally left but made a lot of problems (he did not want to give me back the house keys at first in order to be able to visit my cats ...).
Now everything is over, I started dating again, but I'm exhausted (lost a lot of hair in the back of my headx because of stress).
I'm also seeing a psychotherapist, it feels good to discuss with a person not involved in my life like family or friends...
I hope that 2013 will end better than it started

Thanks for asking brooklyngal73

 

[Drtondalia]

This situation is not working out in your favor. You are sacrificing too much of you. Deep down I'm sure you know the right thing to do.

I recommend you get the audio edition of Dr Phil's new book Life Code. It will open your eyes to a lot of things about how people can use others in society.

You deserve to have all your needs met and or exceeded, that's the only way you will ever be fully happy in life.

**********I hadn't read the whole thread before I posted this. Congrats on your new start!!!

 

[LivingDoll]

Hi,
yes February has been tough for me, he finally left but made a lot of problems (he did not want to give me back the house keys at first in order to be able to visit my cats ...).
Now everything is over, I started dating again, but I'm exhausted (lost a lot of hair in the back of my headx because of stress).
I'm also seeing a psychotherapist, it feels good to discuss with a person not involved in my life like family or friends...
I hope that 2013 will end better than it started

Thanks for asking @brooklyngal73

Hi @Ciacia...do you think it was wise to start dating again so soon? I think you should take some more time for yourself to heal from the last situation. I applaud you for getting therapy.

 

[Ciacia]

I'm not sure if it was wise indeed, I just needed to go out and have fun and all my friends are either married, with kids, etc..... I'm not taking it seriously to be honest, and the guy knows....

 

[KiWiStyle]

Deuces!!! Tell your "boyfriend" to go piss on another tree and find yourself a man.

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