Your post is exactly how I feel, especially the bolded.
While on vacation in Hawaii one year I saw a couple get married on the beach. It was just the couple, JOP and photographer. Because they timed it with the sun setting on the ocean and neighboring islands and the tide coming in it was sooooo beautiful yet intimate.The bride wore a strapless white dress and the groom wore jeans with a white dress shirt. A small crowd did gather but I almost felt like we were intruding.
If my fiancee said let's just screw it and go to an island and elope, I'd definitely be down.
Yessss. The idea of planning a wedding sounds exhausting anyway. I'm totally the "Let's go to an island and elope" type and I care very little about impressing others... which I feel is the main point of most big weddings. It's less about the love of the couple and more about the food, the dress, the centerpiece the this the that. Every important intimate moment is interrupted for a photo pose. You have to find a venue, vendors, and then there are invites and seating charts... Ugh!
I'd rather not lol. The less plannng I have to do, the better. I'd be delighted to simply. show up, get married and get on with my life as a wife.
As for the red flag comment in the OP... I think once most people reach the point of wanting to marry each other... they should know one another well enough to know if one has control issues or not. Most controlling people give plenty of signs along the way.
This is me all day long. I have let it be known that I don't have to have a wedding. I am totally fine with waking up one morning and he says let's get married today.
ETA: Yes I'm fine with the whole thing being planned and it's a surprise. He knows me well enough and I trust that whatever he decided is going to be fabulous. The food will be good, the music will be good. There will be plenty of friends and laughing. And the best part is that there won't be a lot of photographs because neither of us are into that. You get three snaps you better make it count
