What Would You Do If You Were Demoted At A Wedding?

[bklynbornNbred]

@ms-gg I'm glad ya'll worked it out.

That said you do have a lot going on and even the most understanding friend may get frazzled as the planning gets underway. Call (not text) your girl soon and figure out what her must haves are and then negotiate what's realistic for you to handle as her MOH. She may already have support and knows even if you can't be there for the process she wants you there on that big day and that would be great. If not talk it out now. This misunderstanding could have blown up the wrong way for no reason.

For example its understandable that you were not able to go dress shopping but will you be able to go to her final fitting? Someone from her party needs to be there to learn how to bustle her dress.

What about the shower? You may want to but in all honesty it doesn't sound like you'll be able to manage hosting or coordinating the other BM's for the shower. Be realistic but upfront so everyone knows what their roles are.

Having a flashback of being the BM doing all the work managing and supporting the bride throughout the process while her BFF (who was just a jealous wench because her own wedding was cancelled and couldn't handle every and any tasked asked because it reminded her of her cancelled event) had "glory" of being the MOH. She still wonders why we're not friends anymore. It wasn't about the wedding but a pattern of using people to get what she needed then playing oblivious when convenient.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I just want one, my sister. And even then, a lot of what I'll need from her will probably be limited and confined to the actual wedding day

Right? Just get a wedding planner cause the expectations are too much I'd be fine with just my parents and brother, TBH, at my wedding. Simple.

 

[LiftedUp]

Personally I would love if my MOH is my bff (if she's in the country) and I would expect us to be joined at the hip. Help me pick out my invitations, dress, bridesmaids dresses, plan a great bachelorette party, rein in people when needed, tell people about themselves when I don't have the energy too, rein me in if I turn bridezilla-ish, choose a great honeymoon wardrobe etc. I expect her to be neck and neck with me.

I wouldn't choose a MOH who I don't have that type of relationship. Yes I would have my mother etc. but I also equally need my MOH.

 

[lana]

I'm glad things worked out for the OP! It was all just a big misunderstanding.

But on my end, I refuse to be in any more weddings. I love to be a guest and just bring a gift, go and dance.

 

[beingofserenity]

I would love to a MOH based on that list. I've got controlling, planner tendencies all up and through me.

 

[MizAvalon]

Being a MOH is quite a bit of work, I am currently doing it for the second time. But I did not do anywhere near all of that stuff the list suggests nor did I ask my MOH of honor to do all of that for my wedding. That's what wedding planners are for.

Your MOH is there to be supportive and help you out with some things, not be your personal slave.