Wilderness Testimonies?

[PG480]

Butterfly08....I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this. Just reading about your situation sounds very difficult, so I can only imagine how you feel living it. Everyone has given excellent responses to encourage you, but I just wanted to add something God rested on my heart regarding your posts. It seems to me that God is leading you to a place where you not only trust in His will for you, but that you trust in His love for you. When you trust in His love, you will look at every outcome as leading towards God's happiness for you regardless of what you may have expected at the time. Getting to that place is not easy, and I am speaking from first hand experience of where I have lost everything except my health (thank God) but everything else...GONE. Funny enough it was in my lowest of lows that I found my highest praise. I never thought I could do that...but he showed me that I could. We can see the mountaintops whilst in the valley, there is joy in the valley. It sounds crazy right, but it is when we are coming to know God even better in Spirit and in truth, that he shows us that we can seek His face first and not his hand. That way when the blessing comes, we are not moved by it more than the presence of Him. I say all of this to say that my prayer for you is that God will bring you through. I believe it so much that I will say it again God will bring you through and he will grant you the desires of your heart. The purpose of this experience is to not only show you your strength in Him, but to also be a blueprint for your life to minister to others and lead them to Christ. Jesus loves you Butterfly 08. Jesus loves you. Stay blessed and praying for you Sis.

 

[Butterfly08]

^^^^^^^^


I'm gonna pm you

I know what you're going through must be sooooo difficult and you've definately endured a lot of hard things. But I'll encourage you to focus on whatever area you can point to that God IS speaking, where the doors are opening for you and trust Him with the rest of your hearts desires until the day they come through. Take your focus off your wilderness right now if at all you can, you probably need a break so He can continue to do His work of healing in you. HTH!

This does help, thank you. I agree that I have probably been devoting too much attention to my wilderness. God HAS been good to me in other areas. I just keep hoping, believing and expecting for my true heart's desire and I get tired and discouraged at times.

Butterfly,

Though our exact wildernesses are very different, I want you to know you are not alone in how you feel. Many a time since I started this thread have I felt moments of silence to the point where I close the Bible and almost give up. Ije4eva gave some great input and I'll add the following:

-He IS moving but you just can see it. I can say this with confidence because when I look back on previous situations in my life and testimonies on this board, they reflect this fact. Don't let anyone or thing convince you otherwise.

-You KNOW God. You KNOW He is faithful to His Word. You WILL get out of this wilderness. However, it will be in HIS time. We don't know when that will be, but we do know that His time is best. And when you look back on it one day, you will understand why. Try to look at it that way.

-God knows tomorrow. We do not. God can see dangers in the path ahead that we cannot. There is a reason why we cannot enter our Promised Lands yet even though we may feel ready. We may very well be ready, but perhaps He is preparing the Promised Land for our attack.

I'll definitely keep you in my prayers. I'm not going to lie; I know it's difficult. However, keep holding on to the truth - and that truth is God will not fail you!

This post really speaks to me. Yes, I know God, that's why I knew this funk would be temporary. You reminded me that God sees the whole picture and I only see a tiny speck of it. There's good reason for the delay, even though I don't understand it right now. erplexed

Ije4eva, I completely agree with you. When you take your mind of off your problems (wilderness) and focus on serving the lord, you will be amazed at the path that God leads you down as a means to escape. When you are not focused on your wilderness you are showing God that you know he is going to resolve the problem so your not even concerned about it. Here is an article that is about faith.

Excerpt from the article:

In the general sense of the word, to have faith is to believe in something or someone, to fully trust, to be so confident that you base your actions on what you believe. To have faith is to be fully convinced of the truthfulness and reliability of that in which you believe.

Faith in God then, is having the kind of trust and confidence in God and in Christ that leads you to commit your whole soul to Him as Saviour (Justifier, Cleanser, Healer, Deliverer) and Lord (Master, King).


I am really glad that you shared your story with us, I love to pray for people. Your such a beauty, stay encouraged.

Matthew 18:19-20

19 Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything
that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.
20 For where two or more are gathered together in My Name, I am there in the midst of them.

Thank you for agreeing with me in prayer.
I am trying to strike a balance between praying effectually, persistently and fervently, and just leaving my issues in God's hands, confident that He will handle them.

 

[Butterfly08]

Butterfly08....I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this. Just reading about your situation sounds very difficult, so I can only imagine how you feel living it. Everyone has given excellent responses to encourage you, but I just wanted to add something God rested on my heart regarding your posts. It seems to me that God is leading you to a place where you not only trust in His will for you, but that you trust in His love for you. When you trust in His love, you will look at every outcome as leading towards God's happiness for you regardless of what you may have expected at the time. Getting to that place is not easy, and I am speaking from first hand experience of where I have lost everything except my health (thank God) but everything else...GONE. Funny enough it was in my lowest of lows that I found my highest praise. I never thought I could do that...but he showed me that I could. We can see the mountaintops whilst in the valley, there is joy in the valley. It sounds crazy right, but it is when we are coming to know God even better in Spirit and in truth, that he shows us that we can seek His face first and not his hand. That way when the blessing comes, we are not moved by it more than the presence of Him. I say all of this to say that my prayer for you is that God will bring you through. I believe it so much that I will say it again God will bring you through and he will grant you the desires of your heart. The purpose of this experience is to not only show you your strength in Him, but to also be a blueprint for your life to minister to others and lead them to Christ. Jesus loves you Butterfly 08. Jesus loves you. Stay blessed and praying for you Sis.

The bolded part of your post REALLY caught me. In fact, last month I decided to focus on a different fruit of the Spirit every month for the rest of the year, and I started with Love. I admit that I struggle sometimes with feeling and accepting God's love. I feel like I have to do tricks, perform works, work harder and harder and it's never enough. I know that's leftover from my marriage where no matter how hard I tried it was never right or good enough. And most men that I have gotten very close to since my dad died have disappointed me, lied to me, or taken me for granted. So I struggle with believing God loves me, because if He did, why does He allow so many bad things to happen in my life? And I don't have that human man to model God's love for me.

It's one of those things where you conceptually know something, but are trying to translate it into an assurance in your heart that it's real.

It is encouraging to know that you got through such a trying situation - to lose everything so literally all you have is Jesus, but still be able to TRULY praise - that is a testimony.

One more thing and then I'll stop on this - I keep a journal and I noticed that on the day I had my "hissy fit" was the same day that I committed to praying for my ex. Also, a couple days earlier I had been ministering to another woman who feels strongly that God has abandoned her. So I wonder if there is a connection between those 2 events and my downward emotional spiral. I am sure the enemy does not want me to pray for my ex, or to encourage someone to believe in Him despite all odds. erplexed

 

[OhmyKimB]

Yesterday's....

The Requirement for Receiving God's Wisdom

In yesterday's devotional, we talked about how, when you ask for God's wisdom, He reveals it in your spirit...that hidden place. But there is a critical requirement for God to reveal that wisdom to you. You have to ask for it in faith.

James 1:6-8 tells us,

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

You can't vacillate between two opinions. If you don't anchor yourself on God's promise that He will give you His wisdom, you will be blown about by the opinions of others, by your feelings, by the way the circumstances look, and you won't receive anything from God.

Not too long ago I went with some friends in a small boat to Catalina (an island 26 miles off the coast of Southern California). Just as we were arriving at about eight in the evening, the engine seized. We paddled in to a depth where we could drop the anchor.

After calling Vessel Assist, a storm came up and the wind began to blow and the rain began to fall. We had to wait a couple of hours before help arrived.

You know what? If we hadn't dropped anchor, the wind would have blown us somewhere out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

My friend, you have to drop your anchor. You have to ask in faith. You can't vacillate. You can't be double-minded if you are going to receive the wisdom of God.

Visit the Answers with Bayless Conley website for more ways to Connect with God

 

[OhmyKimB]

Today's....

True Faith

James 2:14-20 tells us the substance of true faith,

What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith, and I have works." Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?

My favorite translation of this last verse is, "Faith without actions that correspond is dead." Faith must have actions that correspond with it.

You can talk about catching fish, about what lures you are going to use, and how you are going to cook them after you catch them, but if you never throw a line in the water, you are not going to catch a fish.

Or it's like the golfer who comes to a 3-par hole with a lake right in front of the green and says, "No problem, I can hit that green with my six iron." Then he digs out an old ratty golf ball. If he truly believes he can hit the green, he will hit his brand new $3 golf ball!

For faith to be genuine, it has to have corresponding actions.

Visit the Answers with Bayless Conley website for more ways to Connect with God
and

 

[OhmyKimB]

Hi Butterfly,

If I may, I just feel like I should share. What I'm going to mention is really general and won't necessarily answer the many questions you have, but I hope it helps in some way. Just recently I was feeling the same way, soooo ready to get out of my wilderness and asking God to move on my behalf, but not feeling Him doing A THING as far as I could tell. Not seeing breakthrough while in some of my friends lives they seemed to be getting nothing but breakthrough for their own hearts desires. As far as I was concerned I wasn't hearing anything from God in the area where I wanted Him to speak. I kept saying to Him "Are you on this? Are you working on this right now or not? Are you really interested in this?" then I would repent...only to ask Him all over again the next day! lol. God brought me to a place of true repentence and gratefulness in a very interesting way. He had me focus on something else (in my case my job, namely growing in my faithfulness on my job). It was weird to me because I noticed that that was the ONLY area I was seeing Him speak and move as far as I was concerned, the area where He seemed to be most shining a light on. So I said "okay I give up, clearly you're battle plans can be really random sometimes, so if this is what you require of me right now, if this is what you need me to pour my heart into I will. Just please help me to surrender". And do you know the amazing thing that happened? Today I felt like He FINALLY started speaking about the area where I'm looking for breakthrough (its to do with a relationship).

I was so amazed, and I was just talking to Him about it and marvelling at how He works when I saw your post. So I just decided to respond. I know what you're going through must be sooooo difficult and you've definately endured a lot of hard things. But I'll encourage you to focus on whatever area you can point to that God IS speaking, where the doors are opening for you and trust Him with the rest of your hearts desires until the day they come through. Take your focus off your wilderness right now if at all you can, you probably need a break so He can continue to do His work of healing in you. HTH!

Just wanted to quote this...

I need to remember that. I have someone I need to repeat this to as well

 

[OhmyKimB]

Butterfly,

Though our exact wildernesses are very different, I want you to know you are not alone in how you feel. Many a time since I started this thread have I felt moments of silence to the point where I close the Bible and almost give up. Ije4eva gave some great input and I'll add the following:

-He IS moving but you just can see it. I can say this with confidence because when I look back on previous situations in my life and testimonies on this board, they reflect this fact. Don't let anyone or thing convince you otherwise.

-You KNOW God. You KNOW He is faithful to His Word. You WILL get out of this wilderness. However, it will be in HIS time. We don't know when that will be, but we do know that His time is best. And when you look back on it one day, you will understand why. Try to look at it that way.

-God knows tomorrow. We do not. God can see dangers in the path ahead that we cannot. There is a reason why we cannot enter our Promised Lands yet even though we may feel ready. We may very well be ready, but perhaps He is preparing the Promised Land for our attack.

I'll definitely keep you in my prayers. I'm not going to lie; I know it's difficult. However, keep holding on to the truth - and that truth is God will not fail you!

Butterfly08....I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this. Just reading about your situation sounds very difficult, so I can only imagine how you feel living it. Everyone has given excellent responses to encourage you, but I just wanted to add something God rested on my heart regarding your posts. It seems to me that God is leading you to a place where you not only trust in His will for you, but that you trust in His love for you. When you trust in His love, you will look at every outcome as leading towards God's happiness for you regardless of what you may have expected at the time. Getting to that place is not easy, and I am speaking from first hand experience of where I have lost everything except my health (thank God) but everything else...GONE. Funny enough it was in my lowest of lows that I found my highest praise. I never thought I could do that...but he showed me that I could. We can see the mountaintops whilst in the valley, there is joy in the valley. It sounds crazy right, but it is when we are coming to know God even better in Spirit and in truth, that he shows us that we can seek His face first and not his hand. That way when the blessing comes, we are not moved by it more than the presence of Him. I say all of this to say that my prayer for you is that God will bring you through. I believe it so much that I will say it again God will bring you through and he will grant you the desires of your heart. The purpose of this experience is to not only show you your strength in Him, but to also be a blueprint for your life to minister to others and lead them to Christ. Jesus loves you Butterfly 08. Jesus loves you. Stay blessed and praying for you Sis.

Can't say how much these speak to me right now!

 

[PG480]

The bolded part of your post REALLY caught me. In fact, last month I decided to focus on a different fruit of the Spirit every month for the rest of the year, and I started with Love. I admit that I struggle sometimes with feeling and accepting God's love. I feel like I have to do tricks, perform works, work harder and harder and it's never enough. I know that's leftover from my marriage where no matter how hard I tried it was never right or good enough. And most men that I have gotten very close to since my dad died have disappointed me, lied to me, or taken me for granted. So I struggle with believing God loves me, because if He did, why does He allow so many bad things to happen in my life? And I don't have that human man to model God's love for me.

It's one of those things where you conceptually know something, but are trying to translate it into an assurance in your heart that it's real.

It is encouraging to know that you got through such a trying situation - to lose everything so literally all you have is Jesus, but still be able to TRULY praise - that is a testimony.

One more thing and then I'll stop on this - I keep a journal and I noticed that on the day I had my "hissy fit" was the same day that I committed to praying for my ex. Also, a couple days earlier I had been ministering to another woman who feels strongly that God has abandoned her. So I wonder if there is a connection between those 2 events and my downward emotional spiral. I am sure the enemy does not want me to pray for my ex, or to encourage someone to believe in Him despite all odds. erplexed

@ the bolded. I believe we all will struggle at some point in understanding and trusting in God's love for us, and admitting it to Him is the first step for Him to come on in and work in us. I know exactly how you feel about doing your best and seeing no acknowledgement or reward for the sacrifice, because I was a perfectionist with an ego (the worst kind in my opinion) I did everything "perfect" and was recognized by man for it, but didn't understand why God didn't recognize it (can I say HUGE EGO). This went on for years throughout my life but His grace still kept me. It was not until one day I said unrehearsed "Lord I just want to know you" sounds simple but it was a tall order for me to endure. " To know Him is to love Him and once we know that he loves us, it becomes easy to love Him, (even when times get hard). My mother use to trust Him in the good and bad (and we had baaad) and I use to wonder how such faith is possible, I'm not there yet, but I had to learn Butterfly 08, I had to learn because I thirsted for Jesus soo bad when I had no one to help. The scriptures some days didn't console me enough, I needed something more, a testimony, a breakthrough something, and he showed me and is still showing me. Continue to persist in doing well, for it is needed for things of the kingdom. I also kept a journal like you, and I feel when it rests on our spirit to keep a journal it is because God wants some of us to see the journey of growth for each testimony to show to to others, that there is a God. He is real, there is purpose in the pain. Also to add, yes when you do pray for those who have wronged you (your ex) the tactics of the devil tries to disturb your peace, because he knows you are purifying your spirit to pray for your enemies even as Christ did. This will almost always happen, but it is then that you stay even more committed to the prayer. Once again, it is not easy, but stay committed to it if God rests on your spirit to pray for them. Also I do not think it is a coincidence that you were able to minister to that lady, because God places those in our paths that we can minister to from our own experience. It is the only way it can be fully effective at crucial times to help those in need. I have to stop my posts here to do an errand, but if you want to PM, feel free to do so. But remember to stay encouraged and surround yourself with committed believers to lift you up in prayer, if there is none available right now ask God to send those on assignment to help build and encourage His children. He will do it, this I know. God Bless and is still praying for you

 

[MSee]

The bolded part of your post REALLY caught me. In fact, last month I decided to focus on a different fruit of the Spirit every month for the rest of the year, and I started with Love. I admit that I struggle sometimes with feeling and accepting God's love. I feel like I have to do tricks, perform works, work harder and harder and it's never enough. I know that's leftover from my marriage where no matter how hard I tried it was never right or good enough. And most men that I have gotten very close to since my dad died have disappointed me, lied to me, or taken me for granted. So I struggle with believing God loves me, because if He did, why does He allow so many bad things to happen in my life? And I don't have that human man to model God's love for me.

It's one of those things where you conceptually know something, but are trying to translate it into an assurance in your heart that it's real.

This forum has been my greatest support base sometimes. Thank you ladies.

It is encouraging to know that you got through such a trying situation - to lose everything so literally all you have is Jesus, but still be able to TRULY praise - that is a testimony.

One more thing and then I'll stop on this - I keep a journal and I noticed that on the day I had my "hissy fit" was the same day that I committed to praying for my ex. Also, a couple days earlier I had been ministering to another woman who feels strongly that God has abandoned her. So I wonder if there is a connection between those 2 events and my downward emotional spiral. I am sure the enemy does not want me to pray for my ex, or to encourage someone to believe in Him despite all odds. erplexed

YES....to the bolded. I probably got a bit more than 1 hour sleep last night. Ended up praying till morning and couldn't figure out why I felt like visiting LHCF at this time. Indeed I needed some encouragement and the reponses to your post were certainly a blessing to me too, but I'm always ready to pray for someone else. The thing is last night in my frustration with my situation I was reading the Psalms and praying some of them which were sort of harsh on enemies (not the really, really harsh ones though I was tempted) but I felt very distinctly that I needed to pray for the individuals who were hurting me like I had sarted praying for my husband during this week and saw amazing results. I always pray for my husband but I started praying Ephesians 1: 16- 23 and Eph 3:14-20. For example I start at verse 16 of chp 1 giving thanks for the individual and yes when I finally obeyed the prompt (took a while) I had to thank God that their attacks had pushed me so much closer to Him. Then I continued in verse 17, that God may give them the Spirit of wisdom and revelation etc...... I kept wanting to change my usual format but I felt something prompting me that God will not give them wisdom for doing me evil (that was one of my main constraining thoughts). That was last night so I don't have any testimonies concerning my enemies but when I finally did it I felt a shift in me. As I mentioned I started praying these scriptures over my husband and some issues we have been experiencing have miraculously sorted themselves out. But not overnight and I've had to fight through much drama including sudden memory flash backs of wrongs done that were getting me angry and withdrawn. I'm glad I fought through and Butterfly I assure you praying for you ex will release you from some of emotional weight, may be not overnight but follow you heart and do it even when you don't feel like it.

 

[Butterfly08]

Ladies you are so supportive and I really appreciate you. I was hesitant to put my story out there but I was at my wits end and felt my faith slipping. Thank you for your prayers and wise words.

Today in church I was teary throughout praise service and the sermon. I went up for prayer and my pastor had me to say "I am free" out loud - my mind is free to receive God. He prayed over us that God is about to do something bigger than us, that He is shattering limitations, breaking shackles, changing situations and freeing our minds.

I was reminded once again to speak over my situation, that life and death is in the power of the tongue. Someone just started an affirmation thread and it is right on time.

I am committing once again to keep encouraging the woman who is facing similar struggles to me, as well as to....gulp...pray for my ex. erplexed Despite the opposition that will surely come my way, greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world. We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us!!!

@ the bolded. I believe we all will struggle at some point in understanding and trusting in God's love for us, and admitting it to Him is the first step for Him to come on in and work in us. I know exactly how you feel about doing your best and seeing no acknowledgement or reward for the sacrifice, because I was a perfectionist with an ego (the worst kind in my opinion) I did everything "perfect" and was recognized by man for it, but didn't understand why God didn't recognize it (can I say HUGE EGO). This went on for years throughout my life but His grace still kept me. It was not until one day I said unrehearsed "Lord I just want to know you" sounds simple but it was a tall order for me to endure. " To know Him is to love Him and once we know that he loves us, it becomes easy to love Him, (even when times get hard). My mother use to trust Him in the good and bad (and we had baaad) and I use to wonder how such faith is possible, I'm not there yet, but I had to learn Butterfly 08, I had to learn because I thirsted for Jesus soo bad when I had no one to help. The scriptures some days didn't console me enough, I needed something more, a testimony, a breakthrough something, and he showed me and is still showing me. Continue to persist in doing well, for it is needed for things of the kingdom. I also kept a journal like you, and I feel when it rests on our spirit to keep a journal it is because God wants some of us to see the journey of growth for each testimony to show to to others, that there is a God. He is real, there is purpose in the pain. Also to add, yes when you do pray for those who have wronged you (your ex) the tactics of the devil tries to disturb your peace, because he knows you are purifying your spirit to pray for your enemies even as Christ did. This will almost always happen, but it is then that you stay even more committed to the prayer. Once again, it is not easy, but stay committed to it if God rests on your spirit to pray for them. Also I do not think it is a coincidence that you were able to minister to that lady, because God places those in our paths that we can minister to from our own experience. It is the only way it can be fully effective at crucial times to help those in need. I have to stop my posts here to do an errand, but if you want to PM, feel free to do so. But remember to stay encouraged and surround yourself with committed believers to lift you up in prayer, if there is none available right now ask God to send those on assignment to help build and encourage His children. He will do it, this I know. God Bless and is still praying for you

At the bolded, I know just what you mean. Like for my house, He allowed it to sell, that was HUGE. Every Sunday I drive by a house that was on the market around the same time as mine, and it's still for sale, almost a year after mine sold. That could have been my house still sitting! A few months before my house sold God showed me a SOLD sign in my mind, and sure enough it happened.

Perhaps there's an even greater stretching and building happening in me now where the promise fulfilled takes even longer, and the waiting process can get rough. God, if even one of my heart's desires were answered quickly, I can not put into words how grateful to God I would be. Because I've been praying and crying over them for so long.

But I will hang in there, keep re-reading your posts if I have to, and use my mouth to confess victory. Thank you once again.

Oh, I've been wanting to remove my post because it's so personal, but I don't feel led to yet. So we'll see....

 

[Butterfly08]

I am committing once again to keep encouraging the woman who is facing similar struggles to me, as well as to....gulp...pray for my ex. erplexed Despite the opposition that will surely come my way, greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world. We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us!!!

Oh, I've been wanting to remove my post because it's so personal, but I don't feel led to yet. So we'll see....

Welp, not even an hour later and I am facing that opposition I knew would come. I just received 2 emails from my ex that the money he is late paying me (over $300) will be even later. That was it, no explanation or timeframe about when I can expect reimbursement. Then a second email threatening to report me for leaving our 12 year old daughter home alone briefly. I checked and legally Florida has no latchkey minimum age. The general consensus across states that do have a law seems to be 12 years old. There was no problem, she is fine, she never even called me, I had to check with her to make sure she was okay.

This is the type of stuff I deal with constantly. I am really gonna struggle praying for him. I mean what do you do, pray and ask God to bless your enemies who persecute you? Maybe I should start a thread on praying for your enemies. I am not kidding when I say I need some biblically-based way to pray for him, because I truly know not what words to utter, other than "burn him with fire." erplexed <----Only halfway kidding.

 

[loolalooh]

Butterfly08 and others ... how are you doing?

Still battling the constant tests here, but hanging strong.

 

[MSee]

I'm growing. I'm seeing things in a different light. I actually am sorry for those who have been attacking me but due to their stance I no longer feel the need to hang around them and be dumped on. I no longer fear the lonliness or lack of support. God truly provides. I still battle against not reaching out to people or accepting show of friendships. That shows me that I have not quite healed emotionally. I am trusting God to give me wisdom in each relationship and to help me not to over react when someone makes a mistake because of the things others have done in the past.

An acquaitant who I had not spoken to for a while met me at a funeral on Saturday and gave me a 'word'. To be honest I've had to fight through skepticism to accept the fact that it must have been a revelation from God, since she couldn't have known I was praying for confirmation regarding the issue she raised. Anyway I'm moving forward and I believe the promise land isn't just an external destination where circumstances suddenly gets better and vindication comes. Although I expect those will happen I believe God is more concerned about my maturity and my internal peace and joy inspite of my surroundings. God loves me. We need to remind ourselves often of this simple but profound fact....God loves me, and I'm safe in Him.

 

[foxee]

Butterfly08 and others ... how are you doing?

Still battling the constant tests here, but hanging strong.

I'm still praying for you, sis.
I'm doing well although I have moments where I start to doubt myself. "Is this going to work?" "What if I made the wrong decision?" The enemy is busy, y'all! However, I'm continuing to praise the Lord, thanking Him for everything I have and even what I don't have yet. This is the largest test of my faith I've ever experienced, that's for sure.

 

[Butterfly08]

But I'll encourage you to focus on whatever area you can point to that God IS speaking, where the doors are opening for you and trust Him with the rest of your hearts desires until the day they come through. Take your focus off your wilderness right now if at all you can, you probably need a break so He can continue to do His work of healing in you. HTH!

I received more revelation on this - the scripture that says to seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. Just confirmation that instead of worrying over my obstacles, I should keep my focus on God.

I've been playing Scripture every night and while I'm in the car, to bombard my mind with the word and shut out every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. One other concept that was taught in bible study tonight is that the reason the enemy attacks our faith is because it is our shield against *his* attacks. Without our shield, we can fight with our sword - the word - but we get tired out from the constant battle with nothing to cover us from his offense. And eventually we lose the will and the strength to fight, so he has us right where he wants us.

I am doing a lot better. I was definitely in a low place a couple weeks ago. I am determined not to get there again by building my faith through fasting, prayer and the word.

Stay encouraged ladies! Oh and the situation with my former enemy is progressing. I'm believing God for a COMPLETE victory.

 

[loolalooh]

I'm growing. I'm seeing things in a different light. I actually am sorry for those who have been attacking me but due to their stance I no longer feel the need to hang around them and be dumped on. I no longer fear the lonliness or lack of support. God truly provides. I still battle against not reaching out to people or accepting show of friendships. That shows me that I have not quite healed emotionally. I am trusting God to give me wisdom in each relationship and to help me not to over react when someone makes a mistake because of the things others have done in the past.

An acquaitant who I had not spoken to for a while met me at a funeral on Saturday and gave me a 'word'. To be honest I've had to fight through skepticism to accept the fact that it must have been a revelation from God, since she couldn't have known I was praying for confirmation regarding the issue she raised. Anyway I'm moving forward and I believe the promise land isn't just an external destination where circumstances suddenly gets better and vindication comes. Although I expect those will happen I believe God is more concerned about my maturity and my internal peace and joy inspite of my surroundings. God loves me. We need to remind ourselves often of this simple but profound fact....God loves me, and I'm safe in Him.

Amen. I pray that you continue growing.

 

[loolalooh]

I'm still praying for you, sis.
I'm doing well although I have moments where I start to doubt myself. "Is this going to work?" "What if I made the wrong decision?" The enemy is busy, y'all! However, I'm continuing to praise the Lord, thanking Him for everything I have and even what I don't have yet. This is the largest test of my faith I've ever experienced, that's for sure.

Thank you, foxee! May the Lord bless you and bless you. May He keep your faith strong.

 

[loolalooh]

I received more revelation on this - the scripture that says to seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. Just confirmation that instead of worrying over my obstacles, I should keep my focus on God.

I've been playing Scripture every night and while I'm in the car, to bombard my mind with the word and shut out every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. One other concept that was taught in bible study tonight is that the reason the enemy attacks our faith is because it is our shield against *his* attacks. Without our shield, we can fight with our sword - the word - but we get tired out from the constant battle with nothing to cover us from his offense. And eventually we lose the will and the strength to fight, so he has us right where he wants us.

I am doing a lot better. I was definitely in a low place a couple weeks ago. I am determined not to get there again by building my faith through fasting, prayer and the word.

Stay encouraged ladies! Oh and the situation with my former enemy is progressing. I'm believing God for a COMPLETE victory.

I pray that He grant you complete victory. The bolded really speaks to me; I'm going to copy this and remember it. Thank you for sharing. God may have spoken through you for a situation I am (and maybe others are) going through. Last night was the first time in months that I dropped my shield and sword ... I'm am genuinely tired ... but truth be told, God will not let me go. I am thankful for that.

 

[Laela]

MSee,

I'm reading this book, "Power in Prayer, Taking your blessings by force" by Dr. Charles Agyin-Asare I find to be a good read. When I saw your post, what I read on Page 12 came to mind; so I encourage you to keep renewing your strength in the Lord. If you're not ready to reach out to people or accept friendships, that's OK because it seems you're in the middle of shedding your "feathers"

Here's the entry from the book. I hope it is a blessing to you as it was for me when I read it. To God be the Glory:

MOUNT UP AS AN EAGLE​

There is a very popular Scripture in Isaiah 40:31 which reads: “them that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” The metaphor used here is that of an eagle mounting up high with its strong wings.

The fact is that the eagle is the king of the birds. Scientifically, it has been proven that the eagle can spy its prey five miles away because it has very powerful microscopic eyes. It can also live for over thirty years. Some scientists even believe that the eagle is able to live for probably fifty years and over. It is know that when the eagle’s feathers start getting weak, it goes among the rocks and uses its very sharp beak to remove all its feathers from its skin. After that, it uses its beak and talons to hit the rock till they fall off and the soft tissues come up. As a result of this, the eagle is not able to eat for a number of days. It is also unable to fly for a while so it spends the time resting on the rocks. After it has gone through this period of fasting (waiting), fresh feathers come up and its beak and talons grow again.

By this, the eagle is renewed to a youth and is able to fly stronger than before. He does not get weary and it is able to go after its prey better. The beak grows out stronger and the feathers and the talons are strengthened so it flies better and gets a better grip.
In the same way, the Bible says that those who wait upon the Lord, those who forsake themselves, make sacrifices and pay a dear price to wait on the Lord, the Bible says they will renew their strength, they will mount up with wings like the eagle. This is the reason why when you see praying men and women, their flesh probably looks young and fresh, they may be growing in age but you will find that they are growing stronger in faith. They are often bold, confident and strong on the inside. I have also noticed that people who often fast and pray, keep looking younger all the time though they may be growing old in age. This is because the more you wait in the presence of God, the more He breathes over you and the more His presences overshadows you and you renew your strength, you will run and not be weary and you will walk and not faint.

I'm growing. I'm seeing things in a different light. I actually am sorry for those who have been attacking me but due to their stance I no longer feel the need to hang around them and be dumped on. I no longer fear the lonliness or lack of support. God truly provides. I still battle against not reaching out to people or accepting show of friendships. That shows me that I have not quite healed emotionally. I am trusting God to give me wisdom in each relationship and to help me not to over react when someone makes a mistake because of the things others have done in the past.

An acquaitant who I had not spoken to for a while met me at a funeral on Saturday and gave me a 'word'. To be honest I've had to fight through skepticism to accept the fact that it must have been a revelation from God, since she couldn't have known I was praying for confirmation regarding the issue she raised. Anyway I'm moving forward and I believe the promise land isn't just an external destination where circumstances suddenly gets better and vindication comes. Although I expect those will happen I believe God is more concerned about my maturity and my internal peace and joy inspite of my surroundings. God loves me. We need to remind ourselves often of this simple but profound fact....God loves me, and I'm safe in Him.

 

[Butterfly08]

I pray that He grant you complete victory. The bolded really speaks to me; I'm going to copy this and remember it. Thank you for sharing. God may have spoken through you for a situation I am (and maybe others are) going through. Last night was the first time in months that I dropped my shield and sword ... I'm am genuinely tired ... but truth be told, God will not let me go. I am thankful for that.

I was still wavering on Sunday, trying to hold on but tired of fighting. My pastor prophesied that the body of Christ has been attacked by a spirit of weariness, which has hindered our ability to believe and receive our victory. Pretty much everyone at church received the prophesy. For the past couple of weeks by the time I make it to Sunday I am on the verge of giving up, struggling within myself, crying in service because I know I should praise but I don't want to. But I really feel like I received my victory and encouragement to BELIEVE. So your post confirms in some way that this attack of weariness may in fact be universal.

The rest of the word (I wrote down as much as I could) was that "God will give us new strength, that we should move by faith today to enter into victory tomorrow. We are being directed to a new path, we are at a moment of crossing over to a new land. Sanctify yourselves today in order to receive your victory tomorrow. Watch the presence of God closely. He has put the right spiritual leader in place to help us. Today is the day for a new faith action in us. Mix faith today and we'll see manifestation tomorrow. Allow God to bring hope back. God has come to break weariness off of us and out of our bones. He has come to cleanse our atmosphere of despair. Arise from depression. Today weariness and slumber is broken."

I remember crying days before "Lord I'm TIRED" - tired of waiting for manifestation. So this word spoke to me right where I was. I pray it's encouraging to you ladies as well. And no, I'm not tired yet.

MOUNT UP AS AN EAGLE

There is a very popular Scripture in Isaiah 40:31 which reads: “them that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” The metaphor used here is that of an eagle mounting up high with its strong wings.

The fact is that the eagle is the king of the birds. Scientifically, it has been proven that the eagle can spy its prey five miles away because it has very powerful microscopic eyes. It can also live for over thirty years. Some scientists even believe that the eagle is able to live for probably fifty years and over. It is know that when the eagle’s feathers start getting weak, it goes among the rocks and uses its very sharp beak to remove all its feathers from its skin. After that, it uses its beak and talons to hit the rock till they fall off and the soft tissues come up. As a result of this, the eagle is not able to eat for a number of days. It is also unable to fly for a while so it spends the time resting on the rocks. After it has gone through this period of fasting (waiting), fresh feathers come up and its beak and talons grow again.

By this, the eagle is renewed to a youth and is able to fly stronger than before. He does not get weary and it is able to go after its prey better. The beak grows out stronger and the feathers and the talons are strengthened so it flies better and gets a better grip.
In the same way, the Bible says that those who wait upon the Lord, those who forsake themselves, make sacrifices and pay a dear price to wait on the Lord, the Bible says they will renew their strength, they will mount up with wings like the eagle. This is the reason why when you see praying men and women, their flesh probably looks young and fresh, they may be growing in age but you will find that they are growing stronger in faith. They are often bold, confident and strong on the inside. I have also noticed that people who often fast and pray, keep looking younger all the time though they may be growing old in age. This is because the more you wait in the presence of God, the more He breathes over you and the more His presences overshadows you and you renew your strength, you will run and not be weary and you will walk and not faint.

I love this. My pastor spoke on the painful renewal process of the eagle as well months ago, so thank you for posting this so that I can go over it more slowly and soak it all in. I have noticed the bolded as well - many of the faithful at my church are prayer warriors and others have reacted with shock when they find out how old we all are. Not that we're old.

 

[Butterfly08]

How are you ladies doing? I am in a good place right now, and encouraging others. God is good. I am trusting in Him to bring me out in His perfect and wonderful way.

Much love ladies!

 

[OhmyKimB]

In battle.

2 Corinthians 10:3-4 (New International Version)
3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds

 

[OhmyKimB]

I pray that He grant you complete victory. The bolded really speaks to me; I'm going to copy this and remember it. Thank you for sharing. God may have spoken through you for a situation I am (and maybe others are) going through. Last night was the first time in months that I dropped my shield and sword ... I'm am genuinely tired ... but truth be told, God will not let me go. I am thankful for that.

I've been there. I just could not do anything for a bit. I couldn't even think

 

[alicianicole]

Hi ladies, I just rencently found this thread and want you all to know I am praying for us all. I believe I've posted a bit about my situation before, long story short, I left my abusive husband and have obtained a restraining order/filed for divorce. This whole ordeal has been a battle. I have been in prayer and conversation with God b/c otherwise I would go insane. Yesterday, he contacted my family demanding to see our infant on the day that he chooses, and so on. I could go on for ever but the point is he is troubled. I pray for him, though it is such a challenge. Those of you who spoke of being tired, I understand completely.

However this morning something truly amazing happened. I woke up early (worrying) and decided to read some scriptures. I cant explain it but I was lead to Romans 8: 31-39 and it touched me in a way that I have never felt before. For the first time I felt peace, and calm.

 

[foxee]

MSee,

I'm reading this book, "Power in Prayer, Taking your blessings by force" by Dr. Charles Agyin-Asare I find to be a good read. When I saw your post, what I read on Page 12 came to mind; so I encourage you to keep renewing your strength in the Lord. If you're not ready to reach out to people or accept friendships, that's OK because it seems you're in the middle of shedding your "feathers"

Here's the entry from the book. I hope it is a blessing to you as it was for me when I read it. To God be the Glory:

MOUNT UP AS AN EAGLE​

There is a very popular Scripture in Isaiah 40:31 which reads: “them that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” The metaphor used here is that of an eagle mounting up high with its strong wings.

The fact is that the eagle is the king of the birds. Scientifically, it has been proven that the eagle can spy its prey five miles away because it has very powerful microscopic eyes. It can also live for over thirty years. Some scientists even believe that the eagle is able to live for probably fifty years and over. It is know that when the eagle’s feathers start getting weak, it goes among the rocks and uses its very sharp beak to remove all its feathers from its skin. After that, it uses its beak and talons to hit the rock till they fall off and the soft tissues come up. As a result of this, the eagle is not able to eat for a number of days. It is also unable to fly for a while so it spends the time resting on the rocks. After it has gone through this period of fasting (waiting), fresh feathers come up and its beak and talons grow again.

By this, the eagle is renewed to a youth and is able to fly stronger than before. He does not get weary and it is able to go after its prey better. The beak grows out stronger and the feathers and the talons are strengthened so it flies better and gets a better grip.
In the same way, the Bible says that those who wait upon the Lord, those who forsake themselves, make sacrifices and pay a dear price to wait on the Lord, the Bible says they will renew their strength, they will mount up with wings like the eagle. This is the reason why when you see praying men and women, their flesh probably looks young and fresh, they may be growing in age but you will find that they are growing stronger in faith. They are often bold, confident and strong on the inside. I have also noticed that people who often fast and pray, keep looking younger all the time though they may be growing old in age. This is because the more you wait in the presence of God, the more He breathes over you and the more His presences overshadows you and you renew your strength, you will run and not be weary and you will walk and not faint.

The thanks button was not enough! I'm going to put this book on my "must buy" list.

Your post also reminded me of one of my favorite Fred Hammond jams

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cP9pen5DBA

 

[LovelyRo]

Hi Ladies... I've been lurking this thread as I've been going through my own wilderness experience over the last couple of years. I honestly feel like I am towards the end of my experience and I wanted to share something that really touched me this morning while I was streaming Pastor John Hannah from New Life Covenant Church in Chicago.

"I want to thank you for had you not did what you did, then I wouldn't be praising God the way I'm praising God because what you did forced me into a place in God that I never would have gone to on my own."

This has been so true for me. God pulled me out of a horrible situation... one that was taking the life out of me. He answered me when I called on him and though the road has been rough, my faith has been restored and I have been made anew!

 

[MSee]

MSee,

I'm reading this book, "Power in Prayer, Taking your blessings by force" by Dr. Charles Agyin-Asare I find to be a good read. When I saw your post, what I read on Page 12 came to mind; so I encourage you to keep renewing your strength in the Lord. If you're not ready to reach out to people or accept friendships, that's OK because it seems you're in the middle of shedding your "feathers"

Here's the entry from the book. I hope it is a blessing to you as it was for me when I read it. To God be the Glory:

MOUNT UP AS AN EAGLE​

There is a very popular Scripture in Isaiah 40:31 which reads: “them that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” The metaphor used here is that of an eagle mounting up high with its strong wings.

The fact is that the eagle is the king of the birds. Scientifically, it has been proven that the eagle can spy its prey five miles away because it has very powerful microscopic eyes. It can also live for over thirty years. Some scientists even believe that the eagle is able to live for probably fifty years and over. It is know that when the eagle’s feathers start getting weak, it goes among the rocks and uses its very sharp beak to remove all its feathers from its skin. After that, it uses its beak and talons to hit the rock till they fall off and the soft tissues come up. As a result of this, the eagle is not able to eat for a number of days. It is also unable to fly for a while so it spends the time resting on the rocks. After it has gone through this period of fasting (waiting), fresh feathers come up and its beak and talons grow again.

By this, the eagle is renewed to a youth and is able to fly stronger than before. He does not get weary and it is able to go after its prey better. The beak grows out stronger and the feathers and the talons are strengthened so it flies better and gets a better grip.
In the same way, the Bible says that those who wait upon the Lord, those who forsake themselves, make sacrifices and pay a dear price to wait on the Lord, the Bible says they will renew their strength, they will mount up with wings like the eagle. This is the reason why when you see praying men and women, their flesh probably looks young and fresh, they may be growing in age but you will find that they are growing stronger in faith. They are often bold, confident and strong on the inside. I have also noticed that people who often fast and pray, keep looking younger all the time though they may be growing old in age. This is because the more you wait in the presence of God, the more He breathes over you and the more His presences overshadows you and you renew your strength, you will run and not be weary and you will walk and not faint.

'Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in His presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored His name.
"They will be mine" says the Lord Almighty, "in the day when I make up my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as in compassion a man spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not" Malachi 3:16-18

This thread always reminds me of the verses above.

Laela thank you, your words are truly appreciated. I read your post just today and it shook me. (I've been having problems getting on line and I'm sure the boost I get from this thread has something to do with it ) I think it was just yesterday I was musing that I feel like God has hid me in a rock, yet I feel very much 'naked'. That post describes just how I feel. I can also testify to the youth renewing benefits of fasting and praying. Not to long ago I sent some pictures to my sisters overseas and one said I looked like I found the fountain of youth and kept asking me for my ‘secret’. I can’t tell you how much I’ve had to fast and pray to make it this far. The things God revealed through fasting and prayer carries far more significance than my outward appearance though.

I am requesting your prayers because God has placed an assignment before me to use one of my gifts that I have not used in public for a long time now. I almost said no, but kept getting word to do it and do it with excellence. I keep hearing "You will be much better than you were before, because of all you've been through". So ladies I’m passing that word on to you and remind you that each day you go through you are getting better and stronger. That being said, I still feel a bit scared but I will push forward and soar.

For those who are feeling weary, take it from one who has voiced that sentiment time and time again..... GET YOUR JOY BACK. You may have to fight for it, laugh dry laughter, go draw a silly picture, laugh at your mistakes, read about Balaam and his donkey (in the KJV, that gets me chuckling), go roll about with a child, just do something until it starts coming naturally. If it’s too hard, start with giving thanks for even little things, and watch how gratitude brings joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength and the enemy knows that.

 

[MSee]

Hi Ladies... I've been lurking this thread as I've been going through my own wilderness experience over the last couple of years. I honestly feel like I am towards the end of my experience and I wanted to share something that really touched me this morning while I was streaming Pastor John Hannah from New Life Covenant Church in Chicago.

"I want to thank you for had you not did what you did, then I wouldn't be praising God the way I'm praising God because what you did forced me into a place in God that I never would have gone to on my own."

This has been so true for me. God pulled me out of a horrible situation... one that was taking the life out of me. He answered me when I called on him and though the road has been rough, my faith has been restored and I have been made anew!

I picked up a book by TD Jakes one day and on the page I opened, he was elaborating on the significance of your enemies in getting you to the place God wants you to go. He suggests even thanking your enemies. The example was although Peter was a friend of Jesus, he (Peter) would have tried to stop Christ from going to the cross, but Judas on the other hand made effort to get Him there with his betrayal.

Personally I praise God for allowing me to go through what I have been through. I hate the pain but I've learned to be thankful for how much it brought me closer to God, therefore I accept everything He has allowed in my life and sloowwwly I'm learning to stop fighting it with my emotions.

 

[Laela]

I'm glad you're not tired yet!

I remember crying days before "Lord I'm TIRED" - tired of waiting for manifestation. So this word spoke to me right where I was. I pray it's encouraging to you ladies as well. And no, I'm not tired yet.

Foxee... perfect song and I'm enjoying it!


MSee, the joy of the Lord IS your strength..Amen. You never know whom you're blessing with your testimony today...this is awesome.


Alicianicole and All4Tris, I enjoyed your testimonies. Thanks for taking the time to share what God has done/is doing for you both.

 

[LovingLady]

I know you ladies are in the land of milk and honey relaxing but please tell us how the remainder of your wilderness went.