Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
There were a thousand comments on this so I wasn't going to get an answer anyway but I did want to discuss this. In another thread somebody mentioned that even in the bougie circles, their college friends that got married in the early 2000's were stepmothers at 25. I'm trying to figure is this really a given and how many step kids does this younger generation of woman consider a red flag.
As far as I'm concerned, she should have never talked to this dude in the first place.
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So I been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He’s 35, I’m 25. He is 6 feet and all muscle. He’s a truck driver and truck mechanic as well. He is also an independent contractor for a truck company. He’s also trying to open up his own moving truck company. He makes 80k+ a year plus overtime. He has 5 kids by 5 different women. He is not on child support for any of his kids. (I pulled his credit report so I know).
I met all his children and baby mothers. All kind women. He gives every baby mother a check for 500$ on the first of every month. That’s 2500$, every month. He sees his kids every Sunday faithfully since I met him. They get dropped off early and don’t leave until bedtime. That’s the only day he has free time for them. He is always on a tight schedule. I mainly see him on weekends. I work as a receptionists making pennies.
He owns a duplex, Upstairs is a 2 bedroom where his mom and younger brother(16) stay. Neither of them work. His mom gets a disability check and food stamps. Downstairs is a 3 bedroom where he keeps for his children. One bedroom for the girls (ages 10,9,6). And one for the boys (9,4) and one for us. (I have no idea how he got the mothers to accept the project triplets on a cordial level; I assume it’s the money). So he makes good money, take care of his kids and family, no debt.
My question is, he asked me to move in with him and he said he do want marriage one day. The problem is his mom is a lifetime commitment and he got a vasectomy. I do want kids in my future maybe in 5 years. Should I continue this relationship or move on? Because I feel like that’s eventually going to be our deal breaker, with him taking care of all these people anyway.
*******Edit:
1. There are a lot of comments and I can’t keep up. I didn’t expect to be so attacked.
2. Just a little more information: I am not with him for money. He hasn’t given me any money. But yes he does pays for our dinner dates and if I moved in he would also be HELPING me.
3. He is not using me or grooming or lying to me. He has laid everything out to me about his past. I met all the mother, and they are all kind and has moved on from him. They all work and take of their kids full time. He don’t need me to help watch them. He spends his Sunday’s with them and they go home. I love children and would like some in the future. He has stated he knows situation doesn’t sound great. All he can do is continue to do right by his family and try to correct his past wronging.
4. He has never ask me for help or compromises. He motivates me and tries to encourage me to be better in life. There is NO DRAMA or BAGGAGE because he’s lives a very structured lifestyle. His life is more put together than mine. I’m struggling and he has it together. And drama will hinder this. So he does his best to do right by everybody.
5. I’ll reiterate, the issue is his mom, and the vasectomy. She is able to walk but just lazy if you ask me. She’s needy and takes advantage of him. I would never agree to taking care of her. I am WELL AWARE that leaving is an option. I have contemplated this and have been communicating this with him and sometimes feel maybe it’s time to go. He is asking for me to move in that’s why I’m feeling pressure in our relationship for the next steps and sought advice.
*I will not be replying anymore* Thanks.
As far as I'm concerned, she should have never talked to this dude in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So I been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He’s 35, I’m 25. He is 6 feet and all muscle. He’s a truck driver and truck mechanic as well. He is also an independent contractor for a truck company. He’s also trying to open up his own moving truck company. He makes 80k+ a year plus overtime. He has 5 kids by 5 different women. He is not on child support for any of his kids. (I pulled his credit report so I know).
I met all his children and baby mothers. All kind women. He gives every baby mother a check for 500$ on the first of every month. That’s 2500$, every month. He sees his kids every Sunday faithfully since I met him. They get dropped off early and don’t leave until bedtime. That’s the only day he has free time for them. He is always on a tight schedule. I mainly see him on weekends. I work as a receptionists making pennies.
He owns a duplex, Upstairs is a 2 bedroom where his mom and younger brother(16) stay. Neither of them work. His mom gets a disability check and food stamps. Downstairs is a 3 bedroom where he keeps for his children. One bedroom for the girls (ages 10,9,6). And one for the boys (9,4) and one for us. (I have no idea how he got the mothers to accept the project triplets on a cordial level; I assume it’s the money). So he makes good money, take care of his kids and family, no debt.
My question is, he asked me to move in with him and he said he do want marriage one day. The problem is his mom is a lifetime commitment and he got a vasectomy. I do want kids in my future maybe in 5 years. Should I continue this relationship or move on? Because I feel like that’s eventually going to be our deal breaker, with him taking care of all these people anyway.
*******Edit:
1. There are a lot of comments and I can’t keep up. I didn’t expect to be so attacked.
2. Just a little more information: I am not with him for money. He hasn’t given me any money. But yes he does pays for our dinner dates and if I moved in he would also be HELPING me.
3. He is not using me or grooming or lying to me. He has laid everything out to me about his past. I met all the mother, and they are all kind and has moved on from him. They all work and take of their kids full time. He don’t need me to help watch them. He spends his Sunday’s with them and they go home. I love children and would like some in the future. He has stated he knows situation doesn’t sound great. All he can do is continue to do right by his family and try to correct his past wronging.
4. He has never ask me for help or compromises. He motivates me and tries to encourage me to be better in life. There is NO DRAMA or BAGGAGE because he’s lives a very structured lifestyle. His life is more put together than mine. I’m struggling and he has it together. And drama will hinder this. So he does his best to do right by everybody.
5. I’ll reiterate, the issue is his mom, and the vasectomy. She is able to walk but just lazy if you ask me. She’s needy and takes advantage of him. I would never agree to taking care of her. I am WELL AWARE that leaving is an option. I have contemplated this and have been communicating this with him and sometimes feel maybe it’s time to go. He is asking for me to move in that’s why I’m feeling pressure in our relationship for the next steps and sought advice.
*I will not be replying anymore* Thanks.
and at this good 
How old is this woman???
