Why Men Want To Marry Melanias And Raise Ivankas

[Honey Bee]

In theory, my man wants an Ivanka. In practice, he'd prefer a Melania. Men are crazy.

 

[Southernbella.]

I think this puts it simply & succinctly... I don't think it's a deeper issue than this, imo.

eta: now why bm marry non-bwprobably falls into a whole notha level of thinking that has nothing to do with the above.... i.e their own insecurities, keeping up with the white jones, it's the popular thing to do, they just fell in love, etc....

I read a blog by a woman with an interesting theory about this. The gist of it was that bm as a group don't put in the work associated with pampering and taking good care of bw but some of them are more than happy to swoop in and date non-black women after their men have put it the hard work of building them up.

One of my homeboys said something during a get together that sounded similar. He said he knows some bm date others when they leave the hood because they associate bw with struggle and hardship.

 

[Honey Bee]

Off the top of my head lil Wayne and his no more black babies and the screen shot that was posted here about a guy from instagram fawning over his mixed toddler talking about why he has mixed babies.

I remember that thread. I said then that it was weird that he was evaluating his daughters as potential sex partners.

 

[fasika]

This is similar to my dad. I just read the title and I got it. With that said, he's not as bad as the Donald by any means, but I definitely see similarities in my family in the Melania/Ivanka dichotomy.

 

[Southernbella.]

I remember that thread. I said then that it was weird that he was evaluating his daughters as potential sex partners.

Did you see that long FB thread sparked by a Latina who called bm out for wanting to create ***-able daughters? I think we discussed it in OT.

 

[Jas123]

I read a blog by a woman with an interesting theory about this. The gist of it was that bm as a group don't put in the work associated with pampering and taking good care of bw but some of them are more than happy to swoop in and date non-black women after their men have put it the hard work of building them up.

One of my homeboys said something during a get together that sounded similar. He said he knows some bm date others when they leave the hood because they associate bw with struggle and hardship.

I totally agree with this^^, of course not all bm, but yeah this has some ring of truth.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

In theory, my man wants an Ivanka. In practice, he'd prefer a Melania. Men are crazy.

Ideally mine probably wants a Melania who is capable of being Ivanka.

 

[Jas123]

I read a blog by a woman with an interesting theory about this. The gist of it was that bm as a group don't put in the work associated with pampering and taking good care of bw but some of them are more than happy to swoop in and date non-black women after their men have put it the hard work of building them up.

Now, I don't know about the swooping in after the non-bm have put in work and frankly,I don't care. But the bolded has me all up in my feelings. On a personal level I can say that just about all the guys I've dated have treated me extremely well and they have all been AA, but as a group I do see or feel they have fallen short on the care and papering of us. This should probably a thread in and of itself so as to not derail this one.

 

[Honey Bee]

Did you see that long FB thread sparked by a Latina who called bm out for wanting to create ***-able daughters? I think we discussed it in OT.

No I did not, but I'm glad somebody (they might listen to ) called them out.

eta: I'm lying. Apparently, I posted in it.

eta 2: re-reading it now and pg 6 was veeeeery interesting. explains a lot.

 

[Southernbella.]

I totally agree with this^^, of course not all bm, but yeah this has some ring of truth.

Yeah, I agree. I'm a stone cold black love advocate but it is what it is.

No I did not, but I'm glad somebody (they might listen to ) called them out.

In her comments, a few of them were calling her a bitter bw before they realized she was latina.

Here's the thread
https://www.longhaircareforum.com/t...etishization-of-mixed-babies-children.773617/

 

[Honey Bee]

In her comments, a few of them were calling her a bitter bw before they realized she was latina.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

While the article makes good points - many that have been made here on LHCF over the years, some of these points don't necessarily hold as much water with Black couples, IMO. Other than women who were born in other countries, I've never met a Black SAHM who was docile or subservient. Most I have met were like me - able to stay at home and not pressed about a career. We're not less educated, on the whole, either. Mocha Moms chapters across the country are primarily attended by young, smart women who want to raise their own children without outside help.

My DH wants our daughters to marry men who are able to provide a comfortable lifestyle for them, so that they can decide whether or not they wish to work. He doesn't want them to be in the labor force because they must. He has no problem with them becoming SAHMs, if they want. He also has no problem with them pursuing careers, if they wish to. He wants them to have choices, which is what he afforded me. There are a**hole control-freak husbands out there, such as Trump, but I think your average bm married to a SAHM isn't "keeping her down, uneducated, barefoot and pregnant". They've simply made a choice that suits their lifestyle.

 

[Layluh]

Cause men want a woman they can get over on...but don't want people to get over on their daughters. I look at it as a form of protecting their daughters.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Because they know how they treat their wives and they don't want that for their offspring

THIS THIS THIS!

 

[ChasingBliss]

This describes my dad to a t. My mom was never allowed to work or drive. My dad didn't let her pursue all of her interests. Somehow they are still together.

He always encouraged me and my sister to be fully independent, and take zero crap from men. According to him our mom was brought up to be a housewife, unlike us. So harsh....

I work with veterans ...sick veterans who had the same mentality. They regret it now becaue their wives are basically useless to them. They take Access A Ride everywhere because she cant drive. The children have to come in and manage the money because she is clueless. I'm not saying this is how your parents are but I think it's a detriment to a marriage in the later years when men think and operate like this. Other's have to come in and help them manage and often times you cant trust others....not even your own children.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I work with veterans ...sick veterans who had the same mentality. They regret it now becaue their wives are basically useless to them. They take Access A Ride everywhere because she cant drive. The children have to come in and manage the money because she is clueless. I'm not saying this is how your parents are but I think it's a detriment to a marriage in the later years when men think and operate like this. Other's have to come in and help them manage and often times you cant trust others....not even your own children.

Not thinking ahead...we typically outlive them

 

[GodivaChocolate]

There are so many issues here that I wish I had the words to effectively articulate all my thoughts in a manner that would convey them clearly....I think it's very interesting how this concept applies to BW since there's always the WW side of things, how it affects them and how the same issue has a totally different spin for BW. Majorly speaking, haven't black wives always been treated like black daughters? The expectation is that we should take care of ourselves and not depend on a man, make your own money, be independent, don't take no mess from men kind of attitude; which in turn has lead to our de-feminization, leaving us less likely to be taken care of and nurtured by our spouses or BM in general. So BM see us as "daughters" and "sisters" and "mothers" instead of wives and/or objects of desire. (Side note, that's why when there's a BW who is seen as ultra feminine there's such visceral polarizing opinions amongst BW)

One poster stated, her BM friend sees BW as a reminder of the struggle and IF you are trying to escape why would you bring the struggle along with you? Although it's simplistic thinking, I understand the mindset (if that's his experience).

I personally want the cake that the white women gets to eat, to be seen as smart, well educated and independent but vulnerable, soft, beatiful and desirable...working is an option not a necessity and I should be well taken care of either way. So the real question is how do we get there? Reprogram BM's view of BW, raise our sons to see black woman as multifaceted beautiful beings, maybe BW should stop taking on the struggle as a badge of honor????

My initial answer is you first have to see yourself in that light (which may also be simplistic thinking) .... I think I'm rambling but I did say at the start I had way to many thoughts in my head...lol

 

[Southernbella.]

There are so many issues here that I wish I had the words to effectively articulate all my thoughts in a manner that would convey them clearly....I think it's very interesting how this concept applies to BW since there's always the WW side of things, how it affects them and how the same issue has a totally different spin for BW. Majorly speaking, haven't black wives always been treated like black daughters? The expectation is that we should take care of ourselves and not depend on a man, make your own money, be independent, don't take no mess from men kind of attitude; which in turn has lead to our de-feminization, leaving us less likely to be taken care of and nurtured by our spouses or BM in general. So BM see us as "daughters" and "sisters" and "mothers" instead of wives and/or objects of desire. (Side note, that's why when there's a BW who is seen as ultra feminine there's such visceral polarizing opinions amongst BW)

One poster stated, her BM friend sees BW as a reminder of the struggle and IF you are trying to escape why would you bring the struggle along with you? Although it's simplistic thinking, I understand the mindset (if that's his experience).

I personally want the cake that the white women gets to eat, to be seen as smart, well educated and independent but vulnerable, soft, beatiful and desirable...working is an option not a necessity and I should be well taken care of either way. So the real question is how do we get there? Reprogram BM's view of BW, raise our sons to see black woman as multifaceted beautiful beings, maybe BW stop taking on the struggle as a badge of honor????

My initial answer is you first have to see yourself in that light (which may also be simplistic thinking) .... I think I'm rambling but I did say at the start I had way to many thoughts in my head...lol

What's interesting about my friend is that he has no interest in non-black women, always knew he would marry black and he did...but she's not AA. And in some ways, I think he did that same kind of leapfrog over women he associated with struggle to get with a black girl whose father had done the work.

 

[Autumn~Tint~Of~Gold]

In theory, my man wants an Ivanka. In practice, he'd prefer a Melania. Men are crazy.

exactly lol. they think they want an independent career woman type but in reality they can hardly stand you going across the street

 

[BK Bombshell]

I read a blog by a woman with an interesting theory about this. The gist of it was that bm as a group don't put in the work associated with pampering and taking good care of bw but some of them are more than happy to swoop in and date non-black women after their men have put it the hard work of building them up.

One of my homeboys said something during a get together that sounded similar. He said he knows some bm date others when they leave the hood because they associate bw with struggle and hardship.

What's the name of the blog? You can PM if you don't want to post it here. Thanks!

 

[Southernbella.]

What's the name of the blog? You can PM if you don't want to post it here. Thanks!

Muslim Bushido

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

. I look at it as a form of protecting their daughters.

that's exactly my dad's pov

 

[Honey Bee]

What's interesting about my friend is that he has no interest in non-black women, always knew he would marry black and he did...but she's not AA. And in some ways, I think he did that same kind of leapfrog over women he associated with struggle to get with a black girl whose father had done the work.

I know two brothers: one married a ww, the other married a Jamaican Brit. Both feel as though they 'married out'.

 

[Honey Bee]

exactly lol. they think they want an independent career woman type but in reality they can hardly stand you going across the street

Or who claim they want an 'equal relationship' but won't do any cooking, cleaning, etc. So... 'equal' how, exactly?

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Or who claim they want an 'equal relationship' but won't do any cooking, cleaning, etc. So... 'equal' how, exactly?

This is the problem I see with many women who work outside the home. They go to work every day and then come home and do everything us housewives have all day to do. Couldn't be me.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I remember that thread. I said then that it was weird that he was evaluating his daughters as potential sex partners.

Another parallel to Trump.

 

[Honey Bee]

Another parallel to Trump.

What was the first parallel?

(eta: Wait, I took that to mean parallels between Wayne and Trump.)

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Basically, daddy is your biggest cockblocker.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Another parallel to Trump.

Anytime I see Ivanka or articles about her and Donald, I can't help but think of

 

[Dellas]

They aren't married to their daughters....

The biggest players will always school their daughters on the game.