"Why do so many blacks prefer straight hair?"

[lovegymnasts]

I'm not trying to be mean here, but many white women know exactly what "ethnic" hair is. And is the first to point out when their hair is not straight it's an nappy afro.

I find this to be true.
My Anglo co-worker (sweet girl) has big curls that she uses some styling product to define. It makes her hair look overly shiny. Her reason for using the product is because if she does not use it, her hair is "nappy". Her words...shocked the patooty out of me when she said that.
But then she says, the reason she keeps her hair short is because when it is long, her hair is straight with curls at the end because the weight of her hair stretches her curls out.
Nappy, indeed? Please...

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

i'm black (i think....wait...checking....yep!) j/k
I grew up in an over 90% white school system, graduated with confederate flags on my diploma, on the wall outside of the principle's office, and racial slurs all over the bathroom wall.
"go back to Africa" was a pretty common thing as well
but i still love everybody....i've never once said go back to Europe

 

[Sugar]

Go to the stormfront website and you'll see plenty of white women and men voicing their thoughts.

I'm almost afraid to ask what the stormfront website is...

 

[HappilyLiberal]

wooooooaaaahh! i cant believe this thread is now 16pgs long
i'll come back when it hits 25:alcoholic

Change your preferences so you can read 40 posts at a time. You'll have to click less.

 

[Hairsofab]

And again, what is ethnic hair? Kinky? Really? Does that mean that black people are the only "ethnic" group? I guess all of the Asian and Indian women are actually white if their hair is straight...

What are you talking about? I don't think anyone even used the term ethnic hair in this thread. This is a hair board for women of color particularly women with black afro textured hair type 3-4 mostly.

 

[EastClevelandK]

Beetlebug,

I am certainly not going to go visit some website that likely serves as a forum for mentally deranged people. (BTW- I am sure I could find similar websites against whites, blacks, Jews, Asians, and ANY group) There are always going to be sick, weird people in the world. My point is that amongst NORMAL people, these types of anti-black thoughts DO NOT EXIST. I grew up around tons of whites. We don't think like this, we don't talk like this. I have NEVER heard white people say things against black people in ANY kind of social setting.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

I'm almost afraid to ask what the stormfront website is...

Aryan Nation... don't bother!

 

[LoveisYou]

I think its sad that this thread is a reminder of how blacks keep themselves divided...and the divisive method of choice in this case is something a simple as hair styling. Some of you remind me of uber-religious folks who can't stop trying to force their views on everyone else. If you don't believe like they do then you're not saved and are damned to Hell. Only here its...if you prefer straight hair or relax then you're brainwashed and self-hating. We are not monolithic and we aren't going to like or want the same things.

I was never that little Black girl who looked at white girls hair and wanted it or questioned why I didn't have it. We were just different and I was okay with that. I was more likely to try to emulate a Black girl's hair style...because we actually "do" our hair.

Ok in the effort to keep this discussion logical and not emotional and illogical, I will try this again, but I know whatever I say will probably be only understood by those who can reason with logic, not by anyone who reads what they want into arguments, because they lack emotional discipline and control and have poor reasoning abilities.

Ok, so let's try this again. I never said that a black woman who relaxes is an automatic self-hater, sigh. Again, I wrote about the ways in which slavery and colonialism impacted our psyches including the ways that many blacks think about hair texture. I had no idea your personal thoughts about your hair represented the majority of black ppl. Your personal thoughts about your hair says nothing about the negative ways that history has affected blacks in the entire African diaspora. These impacts have many ppl working toward building self love and acceptance in the black community, because they recognize that there are problems that needs to be addressed. I think a lot of us would actually learn something if we subtracted ourselves and our emotions from this discussion. Again as I've said before a black woman's choice about her hair is personal, but that doesn't change the historical influences I spoke about.

If for any reason you feel attacked by the counter-arguments posters made to your arguments then that's your personal choice. I apologize if my arguments hit a nerve, but I'm interested in an intelligent discussion not emotional e-tantrums. We can agree to disagree with dignity, but then again as I've said before only the reasonable will understand that.

 

[BeetleBug]

Beetlebug,

I am certainly not going to go visit some website that likely serves as a forum for mentally deranged people. (BTW- I am sure I could find similar websites against whites, blacks, Jews, Asians, and ANY group) There are always going to be sick, weird people in the world. My point is that amongst NORMAL people, these types of anti-black thoughts DO NOT EXIST. I grew up around tons of whites. We don't think like this, we don't talk like this. I have NEVER heard white people say things against black people in ANY kind of social setting.

Just b/c you have not witnessed it, is that supposed to make it true?

 

[BeetleBug]

I'm almost afraid to ask what the stormfront website is...

Crazies to the point of being disturbed.

 

[Twix]

Go to the stormfront website and you'll see plenty of white women and men voicing their thoughts.

So you take the thoughts of extremists as the word for the majority? And by the way, Stormfront is my favorite guilty pleasure, because I love to look into the minds of the deranged and see what their rationales are behind what they're so obstinate in believing.

 

[Sugar]

And again, what is ethnic hair? Kinky? Really? Does that mean that black people are the only "ethnic" group? I guess all of the Asian and Indian women are actually white if their hair is straight...

I'm fairly certain you already know that ethnic hair is a term that refers to Black people's hair. Its an attempt to be PC.

And no one said anything about Asian or Indian (East Asian) women being white. But there are similarities in hair texture.

 

[Sugar]

Aryan Nation... don't bother!

Aaah...I see. Nope won't be going over there.

 

[nikolite]

Beetle Bug, Go back and read the first few pages of this thread. People were saying "smack the stupid out of white people", saying "watch her", like you can't be friends with a white person without being suspicious of them, like we are all sneaky undercover agents who seek to destroy black women. Saying we all try to "act innocent", but really want to be praised for being white. It is ridiculous. We don't do any of this. And those who think white women are talking bad about black women behind your backs or thinking all of these mean thoughts about people of varying skin colors are delusional. They are victims of their own fears and insecurities and should not try to project those insecurities on another group of people.

...

And again, what is ethnic hair? Kinky? Really? Does that mean that black people are the only "ethnic" group? I guess all of the Asian and Indian women are actually white if their hair is straight...

I don't think anyone said that ALL white people are like this or that none of them can be trusted. But those who ask these types of questions do typically have ulterior motives as some posters pointed out. I've been asked lots of "innocent" questions from some whites that they usually know the answers to but they sometimes seem to want you to just state the obvious. That question came off that way, just like "why do ya'll put grease in your hair? To try to make it grow?" or "I thought ya'll didn't wash your hair?" I've been asked those questions and the conversation usually ended on a bad note. I've also heard "why do black people bleach their skin?" in an Africana studies course. The answer is obvious and its quite irritating to keep having to play nice and answer them politely sometimes. I don't think all whites ask these questions sneakily like that, but the OP's friend sounded that way.

And "ethnic" hair is a silly term made up by non-blacks who don't quite want to say black (for fear of sounding un-PC) so they made up a retarded way to get around it. Its similar to words like "exotic" or "Third World" or "nationality" that people throw around to say something without really saying. I agree with you that its used completely incorrectly (Sicilians are an ethnic group). But I'm not sure why its usage here bothers you though when its a very mainstream word these days (even if a stupid one).

 

[BeetleBug]

So you take the thoughts of extremists as the word for the majority? And by the way, Stormfront is my favorite guilty pleasure, because I love to look into the minds of the deranged and see what their rationales are behind what they're so obstinate in believing.

Of course not. She claimed that white people don't speak ill of black people so I just pointing out an example. Maybe I should have used a better one.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I would say "Oh well" that's her.

I guess I'm just one of those people that doesn't take what others say about THEMSELVES personal. It wouldn't have anything to do with me.

I don't live in a bubble. I hear folks saying things like that here and there, but I don't think twice about it. Because, she is talking about herself, not about ME.

People are gonna say things. Don't take this kind of stuff PERSONAL.

You need to find a different way of thinking of these types of things, or you're going to be angry very often.

Why do you think it makes me angry? It makes me SAD when I can translate what a woman really means when I hear her talking about herself. It makes me especially sad when I hear children do it. I don't get mad and say oh so this ****** thinks me and my hair are ugly. I try to uplift that woman and that child. I used to volunteer with white girls at a community center in Detroit. And I repeatedly kept hearing the little black girls say that they wished their hair was like the white volunteers and they wish they were lighter. Did I get mad about it? No! I tried to convince them that they are beautiful. These are the same kids who will grow up thinking their skin color and hair is ugly if no one tells them otherwise. And people like that are the ones I was referring to. I don't take personal offense to any of it. I just call it like I see it. I could care less if someone wants to wear their hair straight, afro, bald, whatever! But I care when it stems from self-hatred and alot of it does. I think the problem is people are making this into a personal issue when others are trying to talk about it more generally.

ETA: I forgot to say that whenever the little girls made those comments, the white volunteers just laughed....which didn't make things better.

 

[Sugar]

Ok in the effort to keep this discussion logical and not emotional and illogical, I will try this again, but I know whatever I say will probably be only understood by those who can reason with logic not by anyone who reads what they want into arguments because they lack emotional discipline and control.

Ok, so let's try this again. I never said that a black woman who relaxes is an automatic self-hater, sigh. Again, I wrote about the ways in which slavery and colonialism impacted out psyche including the ways that many blacks think about hair texture, sigh. I had no idea your personal thoughts about your hair represented the majority of black ppl. Forgive me, I was ignorant of that "fact." Again as I've said before wach black woman's choice about her hair is personal, but that doesn't change the historical influences I spoke about.

If for any reason you feel attacked by the counter-arguments posters made to your arguments then that's your personal choice. I apologize if my arguments hit a nerve, but I'm interested in an intelligent discussion not emotional e-tantrums. We can agree to disagree with dignity, but then again as I've said before only the reasonable will understand that.

and

 

[Miss*Tress]

@ EastClevelandK Aren't you veering off-topic? I'd hate for the mods to close this thread because posters get waylaid by the accusations of hatred. Why not start a new thread with reference to the posts you find hateful?

Note to mods: Apologies if I've overstepped - let me know and I'll delete this post.

 

[Twix]

Of course not. She claimed that white people don't speak ill of black people so I just pointing out an example. Maybe I should have used a better one.

Yeah. It'd be like a white person using Black Panther party materials to say that "see?! All black people hate white people!", etc. and so forth.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

skegeesmb,

I am white. I grew up in a 99% white school system. I know for a fact that we don't talk about black people behind your backs because I have been around 100% white groups of people MANY TIMES and we don't do this. In my whole life, THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED. If someone ever tried to do that, they would be labeled a social outcast. It is not considered socially acceptable behavior. Period.

Unfortunatley, this does not apply to MOST white people. I am almost 100% sure that nothing that we say in this or any other thread will get you to understand any of what we say or what we feel.

 

[Twix]

@ EastClevelandK Aren't you veering off-topic? I'd hate for the mods to close this thread because posters get waylaid by the accusations of hatred. Why not start a new thread with reference to the posts you find hateful?

Note to mods: Apologies if I've overstepped - let me know and I'll delete this post.

A lot of this thread has veered off topic, y0. And there were accusations of naturals expressing hatred or disdain for relaxed heads/straighteners. I think for the context of the conversation the post is in the correct place.

 

[nikolite]

I'm almost afraid to ask what the stormfront website is...

Please don't. Its truly painful to read and sadly pretty popular too.

 

[nikolite]

Beetlebug,

I am certainly not going to go visit some website that likely serves as a forum for mentally deranged people. (BTW- I am sure I could find similar websites against whites, blacks, Jews, Asians, and ANY group) There are always going to be sick, weird people in the world. My point is that amongst NORMAL people, these types of anti-black thoughts DO NOT EXIST. I grew up around tons of whites. We don't think like this, we don't talk like this. I have NEVER heard white people say things against black people in ANY kind of social setting.

Good for you! But a white friend of mine with your exact same background has told me the exact opposite of what you are saying. Why do you think you can somehow speak for an entire race of people and say "We are not racist towards you guys anymore. Believe me, I know because I'm white and have been around all other whites" and then call it a day? I'm not sure what you are getting at here.

Anti-black thoughts DO exist and so do anti-white thoughts. But back to this thread, I'm still not sure what it is that you see that is so anti-white. This is completely derailing the topic at hand and for what I still don't know.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

Black women on a whole prefer straight hair because most Black women are still very much psychologically colonized.

We are inundated with images of straight haired women being the feminine ideal from infancy in this country and it has a tremendous impact when you were born with afro textured hair. These women in the media are mostly white and the few Blacks are relaxed or weaved up. It is not just a coincidence that over 75% of Black women drastically and permanently alter their hair to be type 1-3. There are millions of black women that will spend every dime of their paycheck regularly for some weave and go on and on bragging about the fact that they are now in ownership of some Asian/Indian hair and gush over the innate beauty and superiority of this hair....its all over youtube....and it just goes to show you the premium we put of hair types that are the exact opposite of ours.

There are millions of Black women that have never known a healthy relationship with their hair because their mothers were so busy treating it like it was type 1 and destroying it and calling it bad that they default to the relaxers. This is a tradition of self-hate that goes back generations. Cultural norms do not materialize out of thin air.

In my experience, I think I can safely say that most Black women have a conscious or sub-conscious inferiority complex about their hair....you can see it with the testimonials of most of the newbies and some of their harrowing tales of having relaxers slapped on their heads from as early as 2 years of age.

Why White Women's Hair Practices Cannot be Compared to Us Relaxing​

Finally, I see many women are making the argument that we are no different then other races of women in terms of hair. Let me lay out why that is false:

- When a white woman gets hair extensions, she gets extensions that MATCH her own natural texture. She sees her own texture as beautiful and she knows her hair has the potential to grow long, she's just impatient and wants the look now.

- When a Black woman gets a weave, she gets a texture that is the complete antithesis of her natural texture, she extolls that as beautiful, and see's it as superior. She is usually unaware that her hair can grow as long as the weave.

- When a white woman Bleaches her hair Blonde....she is emulating fellow white women that they deem to be beautiful.

- When a Black Woman Relaxes her hair to be type 1 she is trying to emulate the dominant race...weather she realizes that on a conscious level or not.

- When a Black woman puts on her weave she is boasting about the myriad of other races she feels she looks like now and saying she now has pretty hair like them.

- When a White woman get her hair extensions she is boasting about the new length and added thickness.

- If a Black person see's a white person with long hair, its to be expected. If a Black woman has long hair....well she must have "good hair" and be mixed with some "good hair" having race.

None of this is a coincidence. The preference for white skin, straight hair and light eyes did not just materialize from thin air.

Its uncomfortable to do, but sometimes we have to sit down, be still, and ask ourselves why it is that we do what we do.

WHY is straight hair preferred over 75% of the time by Black Women to the hair that grows out of our heads?

75-80% of the time? To the point that Black mothers relax small children?

Do people honestly think this is just a preference that they spontaneously, organically and independently arrived at?

Like, seriously???

goodpost:

You ain't neva lied BMP. You ain't neva lied.

 

[NYDee]

I know how the fad about tanning came about but if it were black people sitting in the sun to get lighter (in a world where sun makes the skin lighter) no matter what the reason, there would have been non-stop talk about self hate and how the black people doing are doing it because they want to look white. The main thing is whatever the reason that led to the fad; white people don't get accused of trying be black or brown. Some who chose not to tan don't accuse those that tan about selling out.

Actually there is a reason behind this also.
People used to cover themselves up and want to be as white as possible to show that they were affluent enough to not have to work outdoors or in the fields.
Currently, people want to be tanned to show that they are affluent enough to take vacations and have free time instead of working all the time and being stuck in an office.

As everyone has said, do what you want to do and there is no shame in that but there is no crime in acknowledging the reasons behind our actions.

 

[Twix]

Please don't shoot at me. Just curious.


Have you ever heard a YT woman say that they prefer kinky textured hair? I ask because I was talking to one of my YT best friends earlier today about the subject. She asked me why so many blacks prefer straight hair (we're extremely close so we talk about everything under the sun, in other words I took no offense). Is it because "they are able to achieve it" and if they couldn't, like YT people can't achieve kinky hair, "would they still prefer it?" What are your thoughts? I never thought about it before and don't have an opinion just yet. I do personally prefer straight hair (so obviously that's not why I went natural). But would we prefer it if we couldn't achieve it?

No bickering please (and if you don't like this post then please don't comment)

I forgot to mention, in reference to the first post: there is a chemical that allows people with straight hair to get kinky hair. I've seen either the Japanese or the Koreans use it... hold on...

 

[Strangefruittree]

Beetle Bug, Go back and read the first few pages of this thread. People were saying "smack the stupid out of white people", saying "watch her", like you can't be friends with a white person without being suspicious of them, like we are all sneaky undercover agents who seek to destroy black women. Saying we all try to "act innocent", but really want to be praised for being white. It is ridiculous. We don't do any of this. And those who think white women are talking bad about black women behind your backs or thinking all of these mean thoughts about people of varying skin colors are delusional. They are victims of their own fears and insecurities and should not try to project those insecurities on another group of people.

i understand where you are comming from. when the need to represent a large group of people arises, or when sweeping statements are made... someone is going to be wrong and feelings get hurt. I hate when i see it too. Thats why when I say IMO, or for me.... cause i know i dont rep all black women, as you probably dont rep all white women... I have met people from other races that bond to my soul like we come from the same mother, I have met black people that i have absolutely nothing in common with. I wont front. I see stuff on here ALL THE TIME that makes me cringe when it comes to talk of other races, as if because of the history of oppression it makes it okay to voice or even feel the feelings... I also read and see on the internet and real life some reasons why. White women do group up and say awful things too. I have had white family members, people responsible for my DNA make up say some horrid things to me about the way my hair and skin are, sometimes not even on purpose, just out of ignorance, sometimes to hurt me. It comes from everywhere. I choose not to perpetuate it. I try to knock it down when i see it- not let others around me foster mean spirited feelings. but its hard. The begining is to end sweeping statements. the question, why do black women prefer straight hair...has a billion answers but the most unforunate one is, because its the standard. which for many of us is opposite of nature. The same sounds true for you and many other non blacks with kinky curly hair. There is a frustration with trying to be considered successful and assimilate, which can become a life style of frustration, IMO.
Again i feel what your saying, its best to not speak for groups, because groups that look like me may not be reflecting what i feel

 

[Sounique]

Honestly, my comments were not directed solely towards you, but yes, I was irritated with the constant misinterpretations of the posts made here. I'm not sure if some are not reading the whole thread or are just purposefully ignoring what I and others have explained already and repeating the same WRONG interpretations of what we are saying. I am a spokesperson for myself as a natural whose views you incorrectly summarized, which is why I spoke.

Relaxing is permanent because you have to either cut off or transition for a while to get rid of relaxed hair. If it ain't completely permament (on that note, neither is a nose job because it can be re-done) then its definitely a drastic change that is damn near permanent.

Not one natural said that relaxed = inferiority yet it keeps resurfacing on your and other relaxed ladies' posts. Excuse me for pointing that out, but that looks strange to me.

To your last point, the "you" in my third paragraph was not referring to you. I was speaking about people in general. I apologize I should have used the word "one" but I tend to do that when I speak to someone in person, especially when speaking hypothetically. I forget that this is written language and you can't detect that! Sorry.

Naturally, since YOU quoted MY post, then yes I felt as YOU were directing your comments at me.

Why are you so angry that not everyone agrees with you anyone? You seem to be on a rampage.

So you feel like "A", I feel like "B" and "they" feel like X,Y,Z.

Now what? It shouldn't turn into the war of the roses.

A house divided will fall.

This is the real issue with bw. There's too much division among our own race.

SMDH

 

[Strangefruittree]

oh and I wear my hair straight sometimes cause I can and I look cute. Rachel Roy has many white models in her recent shows with big teased roller sets and froishstyles and they look DOPE!!! I love my music and art festivals and some of the most BEAUTIFUL women of ALL cultures come out and I see all kinds of natural looks. And many many many women have natural curly wavy textured hair. If in LA come to the sunset junction in august and look for yourself. Some are not natural and rock the hell out of the styles and inspire me....

 

[LatterGlory]

Freedom is a beautiful thing, but freedom without boundaries will lead to pure chaos.

1Co 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.