Why Are Your "good" Male Friends Still Single?

I was watching Iyalna Vanzant last night- her house of healing for the men. Like I said in another thread- men are half the problem. They have FOO (family of origin) issues:
  • Absent fathers
  • Mothers that didn't have tools for raising boys
  • Peer pressure
  • Lack of role models
  • Abuse
  • Neglect, etc.
And unlike women, they will bottle that all up inside and won't seek help. We women can read all the books we want, take all the dating advice given, etc. However if the majority of our dating pool has issues they refuse to address, then we will be back at square one... usually with kids in tow, etc.
 
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So- this attorney I know back in my home state just turned in his license.

This was the man all over social media talking about how he went from nothing and became something- showing pictures of his home, his many cars, all his vacations and even his dates. The man let "power" get to his head.
Now while all the details aren't out- it seems he got caught up in fraudulent activity using his IOLTA account(s). Some insider rumor info I got said that he was charging someone $40K a year to pass money through his IOLTA to launder more than $5M over the last few years.

Reason why I am writing this here- this man was a unicorn- Mid 30s, educated black man, attorney, veteran, owner of a law firm and had offices in multiple locations, seemed to make a lot of money, no kids... not that handsome but definitely powerful with a strong reputation. He was always claiming to be looking for Mrs. Right and always mentioned being ok with dating single moms because his mother was a single mom. And he could have had the pick of the litter- he was surrounded by many professional black women who were beautiful and smart. If he were really humble, he would have picked one and been a power couple. But he kept searching (or more like dangling the fact that he was searching) for a woman.

And now look at him- if these allegations are true- his probably will lose his license for good, his law office(s) will be permanently closed (which now means his staff are out of a job right before Christmas), and his fancy house, cars, trips, reputation will all be gone and he may be looking at Fed time. His business partner already plead guilty in federal court.
I am sure he didn't save much for a rainy day with all the LV he was buying and flaunting on Facebook...

When will our men learn.
 
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Damn.

Also if he had a good sistah in his life, she probably would've been his voice of reason and prevented his behind from getting in to deep.


movingforward13 said:
So- this attorney I know back in my home state just turned in his license.

This was the man all over social media talking about how he went from nothing and became something- showing pictures of his home, his many cars, all his vacations and even his dates. The man let "power" get to his head.
Now while all the details aren't out- it seems he got caught up in fraudulent activity using his IOLTA account(s). Some insider rumor info I got said that he was charging someone $40K a year to pass money through his IOLTA to launder more than $5M over the last few years.

Reason why I am writing this here- this man was a unicorn- Educated black man, attorney, veteran, owner of a law firm and had offices in multiple locations, seemed to make a lot of money, no kids... not that handsome but definitely powerful with a strong reputation. He was always claiming to be looking for Mrs. Right and always mentioned being ok with dating single moms because his mother was a single mom. And he could have had the pick of the litter- he was surrounded by many professional black women who were beautiful and smart. If he were really humble, he would have picked one and been a power couple. But he kept searching (or more like dangling the fact that he was searching) for a woman.

And now look at him- if these allegations are true- his probably will lose his license for good, his law office(s) will be permanently closed (which now means his staff are out of a job right before Christmas), and his fancy house, cars, trips, reputation will all be gone and he may be looking at Fed time. His business partner already plead guilty in federal court.
I am sure he didn't save much for a rainy day with all the LV he was buying and flaunting on Facebook...

When will our men learn.
Click to expand...
 
OnMyThrone said:
Damn.

Also if he had a good sistah in his life, she probably would've been his voice of reason and prevented his behind from getting in to deep.
Click to expand...
Right...
If he did have a woman/ family, he probably would have thought twice or stopped dealing early. But because he has no one, he had an image to keep up for the single ladies.

I just know when I heard this story, it made me think of clients I could go after- lawyers and managing their accounts. I also thought about looking into forensic accounting.
Any way- that is off topic. My point was men with responsibilities may think twice about getting caught up versus single men. They still might do the dirt, especially if wifey isn't involved in the business. But they may just think twice because they have more to lose than being a single man.
 
movingforward13 said:
So- this attorney I know back in my home state just turned in his license.

This was the man all over social media talking about how he went from nothing and became something- showing pictures of his home, his many cars, all his vacations and even his dates. The man let "power" get to his head.
Now while all the details aren't out- it seems he got caught up in fraudulent activity using his IOLTA account(s). Some insider rumor info I got said that he was charging someone $40K a year to pass money through his IOLTA to launder more than $5M over the last few years.

Reason why I am writing this here- this man was a unicorn- Mid 30s, educated black man, attorney, veteran, owner of a law firm and had offices in multiple locations, seemed to make a lot of money, no kids... not that handsome but definitely powerful with a strong reputation. He was always claiming to be looking for Mrs. Right and always mentioned being ok with dating single moms because his mother was a single mom. And he could have had the pick of the litter- he was surrounded by many professional black women who were beautiful and smart. If he were really humble, he would have picked one and been a power couple. But he kept searching (or more like dangling the fact that he was searching) for a woman.

And now look at him- if these allegations are true- his probably will lose his license for good, his law office(s) will be permanently closed (which now means his staff are out of a job right before Christmas), and his fancy house, cars, trips, reputation will all be gone and he may be looking at Fed time. His business partner already plead guilty in federal court.
I am sure he didn't save much for a rainy day with all the LV he was buying and flaunting on Facebook...

When will our men learn.
Click to expand...

I know exactly who you are talking about. He always dated really young women and just wanted to have photo shoots and show off his house.
 
Covagirlm said:
I know exactly who you are talking about. He always dated really young women and just wanted to have photo shoots and show off his house.
Click to expand...
Yessss big ass show off... Sir, you are 36. Find a good woman and sit down. Well it is too late for that now (supposedly he is/was in a relationship) since his business and livelihood is in jeopardy.
But can you believe it? Ever since the news broke, people been coming out the woodwork to express their displeasure of him as a person. I personally thought he was (can be) rude if he didn't think you were on his level but my G-d. He let the fact that he became an attorney with his own law firm get to his head.

And birds of a feather... didn't his friend get caught up too in fraud a while back...? You would have thought seeing his friend go through that would have made him think twice, smh...
 
movingforward13 said:
Yessss big ass show off... Sir, you are 36. Find a good woman and sit down. Well it is too late for that now (supposedly he is/was in a relationship) since his business and livelihood is in jeopardy.
But can you believe it? Ever since the news broke, people been coming out the woodwork to express their displeasure of him as a person. I personally thought he was (can be) rude if he didn't think you were on his level but my G-d. He let the fact that he became an attorney with his own law firm get to his head.

And birds of a feather... didn't his friend get caught up too in fraud a while back...? You would have thought seeing his friend go through that would have made him think twice, smh...
Click to expand...

I think that town is a cesspool so I'm not surprised.
 
My cousin moved up North and he is a traditional southern boy. He complains that the women are not like the ones that he is use to. Plus, he works 12 hours a day so he doesn't get a chance to go out. I'm pretty sure he's going to settle soon because he feels like everyone has a family and kids except him. I'm like dude chill you're only 27....you have plenty time :lachen:

Plus, that fool focuses too much on physical appearances. He's obsessed with chocolate women with big booties and natural hair. I'm like the woman for you may not look like that. But he's convinced she will smh he'll learn!
 
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Where to begin:

1) J - Later 30s, great shape, handsome, great on paper, well traveled, no kids... he is looking for Ms. Perfect. He loves an emotionally unavailable chick. Idk how he keeps finding them but he does. He also requires so much. Don't have a life outside of him or not answer a text quick enough or a call... WWIII. I have tried telling him what I have observed but he said it was me being difficult. I just smh.

2) W - Early 30s, decent job, quirky, well read (music, art, literature), no kids... he has no ambition and is unmotivated to do anything. Women make it clear they are interested and he won't put in an iota of effort, just lazy. After a while the women just ghost on him. I told him no one wants someone who is lukewarm about them. You have to make some effort. He will be alone for a while.

3) T - is a cheap hoe. He has a great job, makes lots of money, good on paper but he is cheap and not attractive. He gained a lot of weight and hasn't mad an effort to do a push up. He feels he is a catch, I told him he rated himself higher than most people would. Personality wise he is a bit of an a--hole. I personally don't understand how anyone deals with him but he finds them. (we were friends now we are acquaintances).

I haven't dated any of them. We have had talks about why they are single but they have no plans on changing.
 
C. Great career!! Six figure salary and intelligent and Tall. Many women have asked him if hes gay. Has feminine mannerisms but vehemently denies it... I hesitated in dating him because of that lol

L. Purrrrre mama's boy. Has never had a Girlfriend. Maybe a fling here and there. Seriously! Very timid and socially awkward. Now in late thirties, lives at home and allows his weight to balloon. I feel sorry for him. His mom is perfectly happy with him at home. Her husband died when he was 14 and she cocked blocked so many girls that he wouldnt know what to do with one if shefell on his lap.

M. My cousin..He is Jehovah witness and waiting on God. His exgf left him for another man, got married and have kids now. I think he is still heartbroken over her and using God as an excuse..
 
He's not really a friend of mine but he's a friend of my parents. High ranking officer in the military. Any of you that are military have at least heard of him. Nice looking, nice salary, good credit, owns multiple properties, has multiple streams of income. Would be an awesome catch for any woman.

He claims that he just hasn't met the right woman yet. That's bollocks. He comes across beautiful, well educated women every day and could have his pick of any of them because of what he has to offer and his lack of baggage. I think he's just married to his career and emotionally unavailable. Even when you're just sitting down with him having a normal conversation, you can tell that he has a wall up and is guarded. I can't imagine what it would be like to try to get him to open up in any kind of romantic way. He's just a very closed off person.

Not sure what happened to him in the past to make him this way.
 
movingforward13 said:
So- this attorney I know back in my home state just turned in his license.

This was the man all over social media talking about how he went from nothing and became something- showing pictures of his home, his many cars, all his vacations and even his dates. The man let "power" get to his head.
Now while all the details aren't out- it seems he got caught up in fraudulent activity using his IOLTA account(s). Some insider rumor info I got said that he was charging someone $40K a year to pass money through his IOLTA to launder more than $5M over the last few years.

Reason why I am writing this here- this man was a unicorn- Mid 30s, educated black man, attorney, veteran, owner of a law firm and had offices in multiple locations, seemed to make a lot of money, no kids... not that handsome but definitely powerful with a strong reputation. He was always claiming to be looking for Mrs. Right and always mentioned being ok with dating single moms because his mother was a single mom. And he could have had the pick of the litter- he was surrounded by many professional black women who were beautiful and smart. If he were really humble, he would have picked one and been a power couple. But he kept searching (or more like dangling the fact that he was searching) for a woman.

And now look at him- if these allegations are true- his probably will lose his license for good, his law office(s) will be permanently closed (which now means his staff are out of a job right before Christmas), and his fancy house, cars, trips, reputation will all be gone and he may be looking at Fed time. His business partner already plead guilty in federal court.
I am sure he didn't save much for a rainy day with all the LV he was buying and flaunting on Facebook...

When will our men learn.
Click to expand...


I bet he was in the news! Juicy!
 
I have one. Not black but Indian, I've known him since high school. Very handsome. Doctor. Tall. A little boring but generally a lovely guy. Has his own properties in London and the south East


He stays chasing unavailable white women from work.
I'm like can you not see a pattern. Currently he's breaking up an engagement between a doctor that he works with and her fiancé.
I told him to get a hobby, preferably a team activity. Meet people and diversify your support structure. It can't just be me and work friends.
 
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