Why Are Your "good" Male Friends Still Single?

[CurlyMoo]

Nope. Reliable source told me. And when I noticed the decline of dumping after sex with women I realized it was the truth.

Are you saying women dumped him after having sex with him?
How sad, women are terrible.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Lots of descriptions, but even when they meet a woman thats close...she ain't it. They all seem to agree on educated and in shape. Major complaints about black women not cooking enough or good enough, not being domestic enough, expecting alot from boyfriends/husbands, but can't articulate what they bring to the table, not exercising enough, some about natural hair, but less of that these days. Just overall, they think they could do better than the women currently in their face.

I think they chase Mrs Right Now chicks because if not they'd find out they are insecure, emotionally immature and/or emotional inavailable. Getting in these situationships keeps the heat off them and more on the women "not measuring up." They few who do date the women who fit all their criteria still end up losing for other reasons anyway. A woman simply can't win romantically with these dudes and sadly lots of women hang around serving up whatever these dudes from meals, laundry and regular unprotected sex (from what these guys tell me) hoping they'll get picked as the girlfriend. I meet these women and its hard because I know these dudes are just wasting their childbearing years.

--

I have one friend who just says they're all boring and dates women he finds ok (but they're educated, good careers, childless like him and simple) because its easy. He says they aren't interesting women after a few dates, but he's a serial monogamous guy so they usually stick around a year or so. He doesn't go after the women he wants and admits it. That guy is my actual friend. Those dudes in the above category are more like associates as my career keeps me in circles largely made up of men...and black folks just find each other and connect.

So he settles instead of going after the type of woman he wants?
Well damn no wonder he is still single.
Who does the pursuing then? The woman?
These men are so complacent.
I hope he doesn't get one of these place holders pregnant.

 

[Lucie]

I heard through a reliable source that one of my male friends was on the small side too... he got mad at me for not telling him that he was small... how exactly do you say, "she stopped liking you because your stuff was small?"

It sucks because I hate to hurt people. Especially someone I love. I imagine he must know but does not know that I know.

I understand your friend's frustration but that is the worst thing to tell a man.

 

[Lucie]

Are you saying women dumped him after having sex with him?
How sad, women are terrible.

Within weeks, yes. They would get distant. Say that they are working on things with an ex, et cetera.

 

[Lucie]

How sad to know that's all you have to look forward to night after night after night.

I agree.

 

[Lucie]

Awww that's terrible. Hmmm, I wonder if a penis is that small is it considered a deformity or underdevelopment.
This scares me.

Just a few precautionary questions Lucie:
How tall is he?
How big are his feet?
How big is his is nose?
How big are his hands?
Ears?

5' 10"
Size 10
A nice nose.
Slender
Small (like baby small)

I always feel like ears size are the most reliable in detecting penis size. I guess that is why I like satellite ears. Ha!

 

[CurlyMoo]

5' 10"
Size 10
A nice nose.
Slender
Small (like baby small)

I always feel like ears size are the most reliable in detecting penis size. I guess that is why I like satellite ears. Ha!

So he is on the small size for everything. So a small penis is consistent.
There are women who would love this guy.
He just needs to find her.

 

[intellectualuva]

So he is on the small size for everything. So a small penis is consistent.
There are women who would love this guy.
He just needs to find her.

Lmao. There definitely are. I spent a few years being in love with a man with this.....affliction. We'd have been together and married had he not have such emotional issues and insecurities. I moved on to SO sometime after where I do admit it was nice having access to regular size again. Lol. No regrets. We clearly weren't compatible.

 

[ATLcutey20]

When is Marcus's birthday hun?

I had to check his FB page. It's Feb 7th.

 

[movingforward13]

My best guy friend is single because he messes with women that use him for cash.

He was a contractor in Afghanistan for a few years doing IT work- making mad tax free money. Was paying rent, buying purses, trips out the US for the women he dated- they all used him. He is emotionally messed up now so I doubt anyone is going to get that close to him again.

He is a good guy though. Any time I needed $$$- he sent it. Paid for school books, etc. I told him I got him on free tax stuff for his business because he DEFINITELY took care of me.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I had to check his FB page. It's Feb 7th.

Hmmm interesting, an Aquarius. This explains his attraction to nerdy AKA girls.
Aquarius people need more then visual and physical stimulation.
Mental stimulation is a big thing with them. They like intelligent smart women.
Aquarians are not known to be the strongly sexual types but do have sex appeal.
Depending on Mars and Venus placements.

He will need to get out of the house.
The Aqua males I have known were not shy, sometimes flighty and direct.
He's a fixed sign so he may be in a stubborn rut right now.
Finding the type of girl he needs would be a challenge but not impossible.

 

[Fine 4s]

Have you lady friends told them what you thought?

1.My ex, quasi-single, is not ready to settle down (almost 50), doesn't really believe in marriage (goes back and forth on this), likes drama, is afraid that she will take his money and just an overall player but thinks he's a good guy. (told him this)
2.Another friend has mental illness and the kind of girls he used to pull before he got diagnosed are NOWHERE near what he can get now. It's sad to see. I'm not sure he has accepted that he won't pull those types of women again. (told him this)
3.Another doesn't want to marry, had a baby early in life, very judgmental and I'm not sure why he hasn't found someone. He's had several flings and dates his match but I think he's just not interested. Maybe more interested in buying a home and having an established life. IDK.

 

[Fine 4s]

I know too many as well. Most are black and Hispanic. They make good money and are now in their 'conquistador' stage of life. There is no rush for them to settle down. They will run the streets while they're young, fit, and have full hairlines. When they are ready to settle down, their SO will be stuck with a balding, beer belly old man who has been run through and probably has outside children. But at that stage there are always young women right?

What is a woman supposed to do?

I've asked this so many times!
Maybe for those that want children, they would be more motivated to settle down, marry and have children so they can enjoy them while they're young.
The biggest motivator for a man to settle down is children, it is not the woman.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Have you lady friends told them what you thought?

1.My ex, quasi-single, is not ready to settle down (almost 50), doesn't really believe in marriage (goes back and forth on this), likes drama, is afraid that she will take his money and just an overall player but thinks he's a good guy. (told him this)
2.Another friend has mental illness and the kind of girls he used to pull before he got diagnosed are NOWHERE near what he can get now. It's sad to see. I'm not sure he has accepted that he won't pull those types of women again. (told him this)
3.Another doesn't want to marry, had a baby early in life, very judgmental and I'm not sure why he hasn't found someone. He's had several flings and dates his match but I think he's just not interested. Maybe more interested in buying a home and having an established life. IDK.

Ive told my boy. I'm not worried about it. He'said a catch yet on humble. Plus he's only 32.

 

[lux10023]

i agree the notion that men are really picky these days is ridic!!!!! but social media has really done a number on relationships...the pure notion that a man can dm you, yet he lives a miilion miles away or he dont know you but has seen your pics has changed the way we date....

anyhoo...so

dude 1- late 30's corp exec...well into 6 figs...handsome....smart...tall...runs the ny and dc scene...great fun personality..will spend money on you...issue is he has a small one.....i notice it takes a really smart alpha yet sweet woman to wrangle him in..if you are a doormat he will walk all over you...comes from a good family but his family uses him terribly for money....ive spoken to him about this..any woman marrying him will have to take down his mother because honey her hand is all the way in his pockets...ummm he may meet the right woman if she doesnt mind his small crayon but he is still single in ny...part of me knows he wants to settle down..his entire crew is settled down..married or in a serious relationship..he was with a girl who treated him mean and ran his pockets...he stayed since she was freaky but that soon wore off...ive introduced him to every single diva i know who she showed interest in him..nothing has panned out...i think its due to his crayon size.....he loves a very pretty freaky woman but how you freaky with a small one...does not compute

dude 2- 30's naija...extremely successful....looking for a straight up unicorn...super arrogant....comes across as a nice guy..he thinks he is a woman expert and has read all the woman books so he knows how women are moving now...ummmm has 15 women numbers blocked in his phone--i know why he has a huge crayon--ive seen it..hes showed us ladies....he mind ****s you treats you like a princess then turns around and makes you start questioning yourself.....dont ask...again arrogant..cocky as evah...ummmm he wants the girl to fit into his life..be okay with him never being home due to work yet her being accommodating and understanding because he has provided this luxurious lifestyle..and happy to see him and cater to him when he is home....dates purely successful blk woman..wifes no one....ummmm he considers himself the prize...the last thing he mentioned to me is this woman he has been dating for a few months invites him over...cooks for him..they have sex...he said he crossed her off the list because she wanted him to help her put away the dishes as in she cooked can he do the dishes..he said he will never be that guy..they will have maids and housekeepers for that and if that is her thing he is not it..this girl has been nothing but nice to him...but as you can see that one lil thing crossed her off..i told him so she invited you over..cooked you a great meal..sexed you and you cross her off over some dishes..homegirl is an ivy league lawyer with her own practice...i know he has broken quite a few sistahs hearts....as they dont know why he dumped them....

dude 3- late 40s millionaire--black..short...midget short...the end...no play from most....mentioned him in another thread..lives in the A...came back to ny and brought the woman he wanted back..all he wants is kids...i feel bad for him but i also think its karma because he has spent thousands on sugarbabies forever...

dude 4---tall fine....moniedddddd....mid 40's.....cheap AF lmaoooo..the type where you have to act like your not about money so one day eventually he will start spending on you....no kids....loner that is a workaholic....his boys run NY/LA as in he is super connected...he likes the trophy woman..wants you to look like you stepped out of a magazine...makes her work for every lil bit of it..as joining his circle will change your life.... he is from the hood..but hates hood chicks...he is what i would call hood refined since his business endeavors has him in the most exclusive circles...hes bored with to prissy doesnt like hood.....looking for a unicorn....in the sense as he does this weird thing that i hate when a man notices every lil thing about a woman..he knows what a squeem is..told me this chicks lf was low budget...he is all about the exterior...but swears he wants a nice woman who has a good heart...he dates blk woman no issue there but iunno...likes alotta attention and gets it...you will notice him...ppl kinda clear the path for him..he is super shallow to me but wants a woman with depth above it all..really dude...

these are just the blk men i know-i know other races of men who are on some bullish as well..very succesfulll..and SM has ugly men believing they deserve a chick who is a model...no sir date in your look league!

men are interesting...i think their expectations are wayyyy out of their league..i think they are looking for unicorns and i think their expectations for the role a woman plays in their life is unreal...

To be this picky isn't normal though. Men aren't wired that way. If they were, humanity would have ceased to exist centuries ago. This ultra-pickiness in men is a modern issue. I have a hard time believing that these men haven't found a significant amount of single women who fulfill a realistic number of their requirements. They are looking for unicorns. From childhood most women have been groomed to become the perfect mate and it continues well into adulthood. After 30 there exists more than a handful of women who are educated, successful, attractive, nurturing, and domestic... yet still single. These women are reading books on men, taking courses on how to be the perfect mate, and using jade eggs to tighten it up... yet they are still single. For so many complete package women to still be not good enough for a decent man speaks to a serious issue going on in modern-day society. There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?

 

[SurferBabe]

I'm starting to think these picky men have a low attraction to women. I'm sure they are straight, and the attraction is there, but it is lower than normal. A woman has to be extraordinary to pique their interest. Most men past a certain age have a burning desire to possess a woman. It's not natural for a man to desire the single or uncommitted life past a certain age-- even if he is still sleeping around. Having a wife or long-term partner has always been a sign of manhood. On a primal level-- the average man desires a female presence in his home that only he has emotional and physical access to-- he wants to "own" a woman and he wants his community to know that she belongs to him (marriage). That's normal. What's going on with these men is abnormal. They are more in love with themselves than they are with women.

 

[Browndilocks]

They're pickier than women to me. They will wait until they find the perfect one. One friend has three kids and two baby mamas but doesn't want a girl with more than one kid and she must go to church can cook and help manage his one kid he takes care of alone. If they don't meet that description on to the next.

Da hell? SMH

 

[Browndilocks]

To be this picky isn't normal though. There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?

gayness.

 

[Browndilocks]

Men should have children sooner rather than later though. Advanced paternal age (40+) is a factor that increases the likelihood of paranoid schizophrenia, autism spectrum disorder, and other disabilities, but their reproductive challenges aren't apart of our social psyche like the biological clock of women. Most men don't know this information so they think they have all the time in the world.

Men also don't realize that once they have a kid, their stock goes down. WAAAAAAAAYYYY down.

 

[Browndilocks]

i agree the notion that men are really picky these days is ridic!!!!! but social media has really done a number on relationships...the pure notion that a man can dm you, yet he lives a miilion miles away or he dont know you but has seen your pics has changed the way we date....

anyhoo...so

dude 1- late 30's corp exec...well into 6 figs...handsome....smart...tall...runs the ny and dc scene...great fun personality..will spend money on you...issue is he has a small one.....i notice it takes a really smart alpha yet sweet woman to wrangle him in..if you are a doormat he will walk all over you...comes from a good family but his family uses him terribly for money....ive spoken to him about this..any woman marrying him will have to take down his mother because honey her hand is all the way in his pockets...ummm he may meet the right woman if she doesnt mind his small crayon but he is still single in ny...part of me knows he wants to settle down..his entire crew is settled down..married or in a serious relationship..he was with a girl who treated him mean and ran his pockets...he stayed since she was freaky but that soon wore off...ive introduced him to every single diva i know who she showed interest in him..nothing has panned out...i think its due to his crayon size.....he loves a very pretty freaky woman but how you freaky with a small one...does not compute

dude 2- 30's naija...extremely successful....looking for a straight up unicorn...super arrogant....comes across as a nice guy..he thinks he is a woman expert and has read all the woman books so he knows how women are moving now...ummmm has 15 women numbers blocked in his phone--i know why he has a huge crayon--ive seen it..hes showed us ladies....he mind ****s you treats you like a princess then turns around and makes you start questioning yourself.....dont ask...again arrogant..cocky as evah...ummmm he wants the girl to fit into his life..be okay with him never being home due to work yet her being accommodating and understanding because he has provided this luxurious lifestyle..and happy to see him and cater to him when he is home....dates purely successful blk woman..wifes no one....ummmm he considers himself the prize...the last thing he mentioned to me is this woman he has been dating for a few months invites him over...cooks for him..they have sex...he said he crossed her off the list because she wanted him to help her put away the dishes as in she cooked can he do the dishes..he said he will never be that guy..they will have maids and housekeepers for that and if that is her thing he is not it..this girl has been nothing but nice to him...but as you can see that one lil thing crossed her off..i told him so she invited you over..cooked you a great meal..sexed you and you cross her off over some dishes..homegirl is an ivy league lawyer with her own practice...i know he has broken quite a few sistahs hearts....as they dont know why he dumped them....

dude 3- late 40s millionaire--black..short...midget short...the end...no play from most....mentioned him in another thread..lives in the A...came back to ny and brought the woman he wanted back..all he wants is kids...i feel bad for him but i also think its karma because he has spent thousands on sugarbabies forever...

dude 4---tall fine....moniedddddd....mid 40's.....cheap AF lmaoooo..the type where you have to act like your not about money so one day eventually he will start spending on you....no kids....loner that is a workaholic....his boys run NY/LA as in he is super connected...he likes the trophy woman..wants you to look like you stepped out of a magazine...makes her work for every lil bit of it..as joining his circle will change your life.... he is from the hood..but hates hood chicks...he is what i would call hood refined since his business endeavors has him in the most exclusive circles...hes bored with to prissy doesnt like hood.....looking for a unicorn....in the sense as he does this weird thing that i hate when a man notices every lil thing about a woman..he knows what a squeem is..told me this chicks lf was low budget...he is all about the exterior...but swears he wants a nice woman who has a good heart...he dates blk woman no issue there but iunno...likes alotta attention and gets it...you will notice him...ppl kinda clear the path for him..he is super shallow to me but wants a woman with depth above it all..really dude...

these are just the blk men i know-i know other races of men who are on some bullish as well..very succesfulll..and SM has ugly men believing they deserve a chick who is a model...no sir date in your look league!

men are interesting...i think their expectations are wayyyy out of their league..i think they are looking for unicorns and i think their expectations for the role a woman plays in their life is unreal...

We might know the same people lol

 

[Covagirlm]

I'm starting to think these picky men have a low attraction to women. I'm sure they are straight, and the attraction is there, but it is lower than normal. A woman has to be extraordinary to pique their interest. Most men past a certain age have a burning desire to possess a woman. It's not natural for a man to desire the single or uncommitted life past a certain age-- even if he is still sleeping around. Having a wife or long-term partner has always been a sign of manhood. On a primal level-- the average man desires a female presence in his home that only he has emotional and physical access to-- he wants to "own" a woman and he wants his community to know that she belongs to him (marriage). That's normal. What's going on with these men is abnormal. They are more in love with themselves than they are with women.

I agree. They are straight but they don't like women. Seems to me like they only keep women around for sex . Other than that they hang out with their friends/family for true companionship.

 

[Fine 4s]

Men also don't realize that once they have a kid, their stock goes down. WAAAAAAAAYYYY down.

Wait, is that really true? For what age group? Because I don't see that at all in the 40's bracket.
Thought that was truth for women more than men.

 

[DarkJoy]

Have you lady friends told them what you thought?

1.My ex, quasi-single, is not ready to settle down (almost 50), doesn't really believe in marriage (goes back and forth on this), likes drama, is afraid that she will take his money and just an overall player but thinks he's a good guy. (told him this)
2.Another friend has mental illness and the kind of girls he used to pull before he got diagnosed are NOWHERE near what he can get now. It's sad to see. I'm not sure he has accepted that he won't pull those types of women again. (told him this)
3.Another doesn't want to marry, had a baby early in life, very judgmental and I'm not sure why he hasn't found someone. He's had several flings and dates his match but I think he's just not interested. Maybe more interested in buying a home and having an established life. IDK.

The bold is a cautionary tale to both sexes the perils of waiting for the "perfect" one too dang long. Life happens and choices can get fewer if one is unlucky.

Snap a good one up while you still got all your marbles!

 

[Browndilocks]

Wait, is that really true? For what age group? Because I don't see that at all in the 40's bracket.
Thought that was truth for women more than men.

For any age group. According to me.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Wait, is that really true? For what age group? Because I don't see that at all in the 40's bracket.
Thought that was truth for women more than men.

I think kids make women's stock go up. Women with kids seem to attract men who want to settle down

 

[Damaris.Elle]

The bold is a cautionary tale to both sexes the perils of waiting for the "perfect" one too dang long. Life happens and choices can get fewer if one is unlucky.

Snap a good one up while you still got all your marbles!

Yep!

 

[okange76]

This is so true. My single friends with one or two kids are all getting married, while the childless ones are struggling to find a mate. These are not bottom of the barrel men either. They are very successful providers and many are childless themselves.

I think kids make women's stock go up. Women with kids seem to attract men who want to settle down

 

[intellectualuva]

This is so true. My single friends with one or two kids are all getting married, while the childless ones are struggling to find a mate. These are not bottom of the barrel men either. They are very successful providers and many are childless themselves.

Yep. That's been my experience too. Race aside, a few weddings I've been too have been between a single mother and a childless man.

 

[awhyley]

To chime in, thanks for putting "good" in inverted commas because there is something seriously wrong with at least 60% of these single men complaining about but being able to find the right woman. I have single cousins and friends, picky as heck, that are waiting for "the one" to drop in their laps.

There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?

I am at a loss right now because of this. Men are continuously complaining, about the lack of choice that they have.

The biggest motivator for a man to settle down is children, it is not the woman.

I had to do a double take with this one, as I thought that its generally the woman that makes the man think about settling down and having their own kids, but after some thought, there may be some truth to this, because we have a co-worker here who many thought would be a career bachelor who surprised everyone and got married a few months ago. Come to find out that this woman has two or three children. This is someone who has a great career (is going to be partner in short order at the firm), and I think could have had his pick of single women. Men maybe less opposed to the ready-made family than we all think.

 

[NappyNelle]

My friend has a microphallus. He is good looking, funny, smart, loyal, sexy, and romantic. He makes good money! However, once they start having sex it's all downhill from there.

Mine too. And he's barely 5'5.

Educated, sweet and funny, though!