Why Are Your "good" Male Friends Still Single?

SurferBabe

SurferBabe

Well-Known Member
I think we've all identified why many good women are still single, but what about the men?

By "good" I mean decent, upstanding guys... whether or not the guy is an actual "catch" depends on the individual's definition.

Off the top of my head I can name about 3 single guys who I think are good men. I know more but they aren't coming to me right now.

I'll call the first one Brad. Brad is smart, creative, and kind. However, he's kinda simple. His earnings are average and he's not one to wine and dine a woman-- mainly because he doesn't earn a whole lot and also because he's into the whole "modern gender equality" thing. There are women who are okay with this, but the issue is that Brad isn't attractive. He's not a good dresser, he's heavy, and he's about average height. He's also a geek. He has no game or swag. All of this aside, Brad is single because he likes girls that are out of his league. He would likely have a chance with a simple girl looking for a simple life with a simple man, but he likes conventionally attractive, creative, complex women who are bored by him because he can't provide them with any adventures. He'd be a good man for a regular, simple woman (many like him)... but that's not what he wants so he'll remain single until he gets the hint.

The next guy is Jeremy. Jeremy is cute and has a fun job in the sports industry. He'll wine and dine a woman and is a hopeless romantic. He's responsible and future-focused. He wants a wife and family. So why is Jeremy single? Well Jeremy is short (about 5'5), but even shorter guys get play around here. Jeremy is conservative, very religious, and yet has a thing for free-spirited, non-committal women. He attempts to make them fit into his world and they aren't buying it. The girls use him for his job perks, meals, and travel and then they disappear. His female friends have attempted to hook him up with decent women but he flakes out on them. He's still complaining about being single yet he's still chasing the same type of girls.

Lastly we have Anthony. Anthony is a first year radiologist, so he makes $$$$. He's tall, very attractive, and fit. He speaks 3 languages (English, Italian, and Portuguese), he's well-traveled, he can cook his butt off, he's smart, comes from a good family, and is an overall good catch. Anthony is single because he chases hot mess girls. He's a fixer and he falls hard for women with all sorts of issues that he attempts to fix without any luck. This man has it all together and yet I've watched him break down over the type of women that should never come off their meds. Meanwhile, he gets so much play from women within his circle but they don't capture his attention.

So why are YOUR good, single male friends still single?
 
He's selfish and too damn picky. The woman he's looking for doesn't exist. I already know I'm going to despise his wife and his mother agrees with me. They even changed their will to make sure his future wife doesn't get any of the family jewels.

This dude makes 60k+, owns his own house, 1st gen South Pacific Islander
 
Their reasons are either by choice or they're finding it difficult to find the type of woman they want to settle down with.

My ex has a real fear about women using him for his money. However, he's very generous once he decides that you're genuine. I know this because he told me once, and yes he has real diggable gold lol.

Second guy wants brains and beauty. He has a great career trajectory, job etc and is doing very well for himself. However, he wants that bombshell woman but you must have a good academic background and a good job.

Third and fourth guys are just a rolling Stones because they cannot have the specific woman they're interested in. Again great career trajectory, jobs and salaries to match. I actually saw third guy and his new girl abroad recently and he's the type of man who would not only pay for everything but give you some cash each month. I know the latter for a fact lol. His girl was very meek and was damn near hiding behind him when I approached to say hi. That's not the type of woman he's into at all. Both 3rd and 4th could care less about your career aspirations etc. Once you're pretty, have a good personality and have a fairly good background, they're happy.

There are more men I know but I'll stop at four. Men have aspirations in the type of women they want and who can fit in the picture of how they view their future just as women do.
 
A good male friend of mine has an infectious personality. He is thoughtful, outgoing, intelligent, responsible, handsome and he has a great sense of fashion.

He's a bit old-school but it's endearing. He's a gentleman, is family oriented, has a great career as a scientist, he's creative and has a fun, adventurous lifestyle. He's religious but doesn't use his faith to look down on others and he's not preachy. He uses it to evaluate whether he's doing what's pleasing to God.

Now, on to why he's still single:
  • He's short.
  • He has an accent and a slight lisp.
  • He lives with his family. He realizes that this makes it harder for him to date but wants to help his parents pay off their house and helps them because they're both ill.
  • His ideal woman is a redhead (white) but he's Peruvian and I've never seen him date a Peruvian woman. He'll date anyone except a Peruvian or Latina.
  • He has an innocence that I associate with being a virgin. He's in his early 30's but I really wonder if he's ever had sex.
 
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I'll call him Mo. Mo has a great career; he's 26, makes 90k yearly. He lives in long Beach, CA (so idk if that's a good salary there, but regardless he'll be making more soon). He has so much surplus funds, he just be buying stupid crap. He's so generous. He would spend ALL of his extra money on a gf. He's from Baltimore city, so he's used to/likes ratchet girls lol. He's having a hard time finding one where he's at lol.

The last girl he fancied, when he was in college (ncat), was ratchet and didn't like him back. Well, he would buy this girl all kinds of things. Her family, too. He even cosigned for her student loans!!! :lachen: yea, he's a bit of an idiot. Perfect! Lol

He's looking for a ratchet Baltimore chick in long Beach, CA basically :lol: I guess that's hard? Idk I've never been to long Beach.

Oh! And he just started a truck driving business! Has his dad driving for him. Already making a profit from it, too. He's easily pulling in $9k/mo. At 26. Bastard lmao.

Now, he is kinda short...but he's 5'5. That wouldn't matter in Baltimore, nor DC, cuz all the guys are short here lol. He's average looking. I think he's just in the wrong location for what he wants. And he doesn't want to branch out etc. Pretty sure he's a virgin, too.
 
qchelle said:
I'll call him Mo. Mo has a great career; he's 26, makes 90k yearly. He lives in long Beach, CA (so idk if that's a good salary there, but regardless he'll be making more soon). He has so much surplus funds, he just be buying stupid crap. He's so generous. He would spend ALL of his extra money on a gf. He's from Baltimore city, so he's used to/likes ratchet girls lol. He's having a hard time finding one where he's at lol.

The last girl he fancied, when he was in college (ncat), was ratchet and didn't like him back. Well, he would buy this girl all kinds of things. Her family, too. He even cosigned for her student loans!!! :lachen: yea, he's a bit of an idiot. Perfect! Lol

He's looking for a ratchet Baltimore chick in long Beach, CA basically :lol: I guess that's hard? Idk I've never been to long Beach.

Oh! And he just started a truck driving business! Has his dad driving for him. Already making a profit from it, too. He's easily pulling in $9k/mo. At 26. Bastard lmao.

Now, he is kinda short...but he's 5'5. That wouldn't matter in Baltimore, nor DC, cuz all the guys are short here lol. He's average looking. I think he's just in the wrong location for what he wants. And he doesn't want to branch out etc. Pretty sure he's a virgin, too.
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Why won't he move back to DC/Baltimore?! I'll date his young, dumb, short self :lol:

You're right about all the men in this area being short. An old coworker and I deduced that this area attracts the smart guys and not the bball players
 
... it is about being to picky if I can draw from my own life....
My Stepbrothers are single:
Own at least six/seven properties each
Bring home at least 100k a year
1 kid each (both their kids are 18+)
Use to be male models in the 80s
Not bad guys...not players....
But picky as hell...late 40s and still picky...
 
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Small penis ( he has dated quite a few of my associates.. all confirmed)
Short
Interested in women way out of their league looks wise
A bit to quirky
Selfish and all about themselves
Afraid of gold diggers

Want the women to fit into their world versus compromise

Will expound because I have a few examples that require a short summary on some lol

I know quite a few single exec men in my circle as we've worked together and I've been there therapist regarding this topic few changed their parameters and a few got real with themselves


My biggest issue with men is they dog women a lot in their conversation and that paints this warped crazy imagery of their ridiculous expectations and standards....to be contd
 
They're pickier than women to me. They will wait until they find the perfect one. One friend has three kids and two baby mamas but doesn't want a girl with more than one kid and she must go to church can cook and help manage his one kid he takes care of alone. If they don't meet that description on to the next.
 
Just what I figured. Many of these men are picky. I think male picky is different from female picky. With women there is this sense of urgency that makes many of us come around eventually. Even if we do become a little lax on some things, love can still blossom because that is how we're wired. With men there isn't this real sense of urgency. They will continue to be picky well into their 40s and 50s because they can still have fun and play the field in the meantime. Also, if you're not their dreamgirl, love never really blossoms for them so you will still be a placeholder until they find the perfect one.

There is a term for this called maximizer personality. It is even worse now because 'better options' are always on display with social media and online dating. Man, it's rough these days for single women. :nono:
 
First off op guy number one is a good catch to who? No shade.
But in general a single man is single because he looks for incompatible mates. Women throw themselves at men so unless dude is just constantly picking wrong or picking against his gradient he's bound to find someone.

I mean I guess the same can be said for a woman
 
qchelle said:
I'll call him Mo. Mo has a great career; he's 26, makes 90k yearly. He lives in long Beach, CA (so idk if that's a good salary there, but regardless he'll be making more soon). He has so much surplus funds, he just be buying stupid crap. He's so generous. He would spend ALL of his extra money on a gf. He's from Baltimore city, so he's used to/likes ratchet girls lol. He's having a hard time finding one where he's at lol.

The last girl he fancied, when he was in college (ncat), was ratchet and didn't like him back. Well, he would buy this girl all kinds of things. Her family, too. He even cosigned for her student loans!!! :lachen: yea, he's a bit of an idiot. Perfect! Lol

He's looking for a ratchet Baltimore chick in long Beach, CA basically :lol: I guess that's hard? Idk I've never been to long Beach.

Oh! And he just started a truck driving business! Has his dad driving for him. Already making a profit from it, too. He's easily pulling in $9k/mo. At 26. Bastard lmao.

Now, he is kinda short...but he's 5'5. That wouldn't matter in Baltimore, nor DC, cuz all the guys are short here lol. He's average looking. I think he's just in the wrong location for what he wants. And he doesn't want to branch out etc. Pretty sure he's a virgin, too.
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:lachen: wait what year did he graduate a&t cause I may have heard about him :look:
 
LiftedUp said:
There are more men I know but I'll stop at four. Men have aspirations in the type of women they want and who can fit in the picture of how they view their future just as women do.
Click to expand...

To be this picky isn't normal though. Men aren't wired that way. If they were, humanity would have ceased to exist centuries ago. This ultra-pickiness in men is a modern issue. I have a hard time believing that these men haven't found a significant amount of single women who fulfill a realistic number of their requirements. They are looking for unicorns. From childhood most women have been groomed to become the perfect mate and it continues well into adulthood. After 30 there exists more than a handful of women who are educated, successful, attractive, nurturing, and domestic... yet still single. These women are reading books on men, taking courses on how to be the perfect mate, and using jade eggs to tighten it up... yet they are still single. For so many complete package women to still be not good enough for a decent man speaks to a serious issue going on in modern-day society. There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?
 
nlamr2013 said:
First off op guy number one is a good catch to who? No shade.
But in general a single man is single because he looks for incompatible mates. Women throw themselves at men so unless dude is just constantly picking wrong or picking against his gradient he's bound to find someone.

I mean I guess the same can be said for a woman
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The type of women in his league :look:. There are girls who like him but he doesn't want them. He's simple but he doesn't want a simple woman.
 
ArcticFemme said:
To be this picky isn't normal though. Men aren't wired that way. If they were, humanity would have ceased to exist centuries ago. This ultra-pickiness in men is a modern issue. I have a hard time believing that these men haven't found a significant amount of single women who fulfill a realistic number of their requirements. They are looking for unicorns. From childhood most women have been groomed to become the perfect mate and it continues well into adulthood. After 30 there exists more than a handful of women who are educated, successful, attractive, nurturing, and domestic... yet still single. These women are reading books on men, taking courses on how to be the perfect mate, and using jade eggs to tighten it up... yet they are still single. For so many complete package women to still be not good enough for a decent man speaks to a serious issue going on in modern-day society. There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?
Click to expand...

I know many men who are picky. This board would like us to believe that a man wants a pretty face and that's it but it depends on the type of men you want. These men I know are highly corporate professionals pulling in large salaries and they want the type of women their bosses and colleagues married, the type of women who they can bring around their events and who imo they can boast about . I csnt remember the structure of my first post but guy number 2 is an engineer for a telecommunications giant and he's barely stationed in one country for long because he travels extensively for work for weeks/months at time. Guy number 3 I believe (can't remember order) is like previous guy except he works for an international oil company. I can't remember the rest of my post because I know a couple of guys who fit the bill. Anyway these guys are in their early 30s and the or salaries are through the roof compared to their peers who work in other industries. These are my friends and imo if you actually sit and listen to a wide range of men speak they do have preferences. The guys who work in my dept, I'm pretty sure, do not have any of the above preferences. Once you're pretty and can cook I'm sure they'll be happy.
 
ArcticFemme said:
After 30 there exists more than a handful of women who are educated, successful, attractive, nurturing, and domestic... yet still single. These women are reading books on men, taking courses on how to be the perfect mate, and using jade eggs to tighten it up... yet they are still single. For so many complete package women to still be not good enough for a decent man speaks to a serious issue going on in modern-day society. There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?
Click to expand...

Honestly I don't know where to meet them. If I knew I would lol. I know that 1,2,3 go to high end gyms but that's a hit and miss. They all go out and ate pretty social guys and they're ready to get married.
 
Didn't read, but they are the embodiment of the anecdotes in Is marriage for white people? They are promiscuous, don't see the need to rush and they haven't met any bw good enough. They also want credit for wanting to marry bw.....eventually.

My male friends are all high earners, so money isn't an issue. Many of them do have kids though. Only a few made to over 30 without kids. Those dude end up knocking up other professional bw and it "just didn't work out." Only 2 of my close good black male friends are married.
 
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LiftedUp said:
I was in class with a guy like this. I told him that he doesn't have the looks, money or status to get the type of woman he was looking for; that he should pick lower hanging fruits. Didn't want to listen to me lol
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You kinda know how Barbie said it isn't no such thing as a woman dating a man out of their league in that other thread? I kinda feel like that towards men. What's it fir them to lose except time. They don't care about time because they can have a kid anytime. And if they do luck up and find someone that fits their criteria they hit the jackpot!!
 
PrissiSippi said:
You kinda know how Barbie said it isn't no such thing as a woman dating a man out of their league in that other thread? I kinda feel like that towards men. What's it fir them to lose except time. They don't care about time because they can have a kid anytime. And if they do luck up and find someone that fits their criteria they hit the jackpot!!
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I agree. They just wait it out because they're men. They don't have to think about child bearing age etc. However the desire to get married to Ms right is there.
 
intellectualuva said:
Didn't read, but they are the embodiment of the anecdotes in Is marriage for white people? They are promiscuous, don't see the need to rush and they haven't met any bw good enough. They also want credit for wanting to marry bw.....eventually.

My male friends are all high earnerst or relatively high, so money isn't an issue. Many of them do have kids though. Only a few made to over 30 without kids. Those dude end up knocking up other professional bw and it "just didn't work out." Only 2 of my close good black male friends are married.
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I know some men like you've described. Too many, actually. I have a hard time labeling them as good men when they waste women's time over and over. A couple of them refuse to marry the mother of their children because they still want to go to clubs and sleep around.

They haven't had enough threesomes, had enough sex with women of other races (some of them will even name the races they haven't 'smashed' yet and say they can't get married until they have sex with these types of women), haven't been to Brazil and whatever other whorish behavior they list.

These men are older than I am (late 30's to early 40's) and it all seems so pathetic to me. They see themselves as great catches because of the money they make. I see them as used up thots. I've learned it hurts their feelings when you tell them as much, but I'm going to keep calling them old and used up. It's true and entertaining.
 
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ArcticFemme said:
To be this picky isn't normal though. Men aren't wired that way. If they were, humanity would have ceased to exist centuries ago. This ultra-pickiness in men is a modern issue. I have a hard time believing that these men haven't found a significant amount of single women who fulfill a realistic number of their requirements. They are looking for unicorns. From childhood most women have been groomed to become the perfect mate and it continues well into adulthood. After 30 there exists more than a handful of women who are educated, successful, attractive, nurturing, and domestic... yet still single. These women are reading books on men, taking courses on how to be the perfect mate, and using jade eggs to tighten it up... yet they are still single. For so many complete package women to still be not good enough for a decent man speaks to a serious issue going on in modern-day society. There has never existed in society a better time for a man to have a woman that is the full package until now-- and yet so many women are still being passed over. What gives?
Click to expand...
I could not have put this any better. I feel the exact same way. In fact I feel like I married a man who would have fit this description before 2011. Marrying a man like this, you still have to contend with his old perfectionistic ideals about women. It's a tough road. Even when any of these men find their woman...she will have to systematically break down all those outrageous expectations he had especially when he starts to realize that she is a human being first...then a woman.
 
LoveLiLi said:
I know some men like you've described. Too many, actually. I have a hard time labeling them as good men when they waste women's time over and over. A couple of them refuse to marry the mother of their children because they still want to go to clubs and sleep around.

They haven't had enough threesomes, had enough sex with women of other races (some of them will even name the races they haven't 'smashed' yet and say they can't get married until they have sex with these types of women), haven't been to Brazil and whatever other whorish behavior they list.

These men are older than I am (late 30's to early 40's) and it all seems so pathetic to me. They see themselves as great catches because of the money they make. I see them as used up thots. I've learned it hurts they're feelings when you tell them as much, but I'm going to keep calling them old and used up. It's true and entertaining.
Click to expand...

I know too many as well. Most are black and Hispanic. They make good money and are now in their 'conquistador' stage of life. There is no rush for them to settle down. They will run the streets while they're young, fit, and have full hairlines. When they are ready to settle down, their SO will be stuck with a balding, beer belly old man who has been run through and probably has outside children. But at that stage there are always young women right?

What is a woman supposed to do?
 
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