Who has set their love free and did he come back?

I set my love free 3 years ago, and he never went anywhere:perplexed:grin:
I broke up with him for a few months, but we are engaged to be married now.:yep: He is the love of my life.
 
I just let a guy go that I was really feeling. I didn't really let him go, he just dropped me. He'll probably be back and I'll have to walk away from him. If I let him back in, this will be an endless cycle! I'm so sick of going through this with guys. It makes me feel like they are coming back to me cuz the other woman didn't want him anymore...and I don't want anybody to just SETTLE for me. My case is different because we were not in an actual relationship...we just liked each other and had just started dating.
 
vivmaiko said:
I haven't, but my cousin did. Her guy moved away (I'm talking a 16hr flight away) and she let him go. Then 5 years later she moved too and they are now married.
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Aaw, lovely story. I totally agree with your quote below, Caribgirl! The only thing I add is this:

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours, if they don't, it was never meant to be!
caribgirl said:
"If you love someone set them free, If they come back it was meant to be".
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ALWAYZL8 said:
I just let a guy go that I was really feeling. I didn't really let him go, he just dropped me. He'll probably be back and I'll have to walk away from him. If I let him back in, this will be an endless cycle! I'm so sick of going through this with guys. It makes me feel like they are coming back to me cuz the other woman didn't want him anymore...and I don't want anybody to just SETTLE for me. My case is different because we were not in an actual relationship...we just liked each other and had just started dating.
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I have felt the same way you do about a few men I have dated. A few times I just feel the man wanted to come back because a situation with another women did not work out and I am familiar to them. I did not allow them back in my life, I don't want to be a man's second or third choice.....
 
ALWAYZL8 said:
I just let a guy go that I was really feeling. I didn't really let him go, he just dropped me. He'll probably be back and I'll have to walk away from him. If I let him back in, this will be an endless cycle! I'm so sick of going through this with guys. It makes me feel like they are coming back to me cuz the other woman didn't want him anymore...and I don't want anybody to just SETTLE for me. My case is different because we were not in an actual relationship...we just liked each other and had just started dating.
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This reminds me of my girlfriend back in Atl. She was with her bf for 2 years, he met another woman and left her cold...I mean he straight dissed my my friend, even publically announcing his engagement to the new chick.

That girl eventually stole money from him and took off. Dont you know he went crawling back to my friend and she married him. He cheated on her throughout the marriage until she eventually divorced him.

She used to tell me all the time that she knows she was stupid for taking him back. She said everyone told her that too.
 
ALWAYZL8 said:
I just let a guy go that I was really feeling. I didn't really let him go, he just dropped me. He'll probably be back and I'll have to walk away from him. If I let him back in, this will be an endless cycle! I'm so sick of going through this with guys. It makes me feel like they are coming back to me cuz the other woman didn't want him anymore...and I don't want anybody to just SETTLE for me. My case is different because we were not in an actual relationship...we just liked each other and had just started dating.
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I totally understand!! Some wise sista on this forum wrote that if guys really want you they will do everything to have you by their side. Sometimes we, sistas have to be a little patient and see what unfolds. Now if they wait too long and our hearts become snatched by someone else, then :ohwell: for them. "You snooze, you lose".
 
nikki1971 said:
I have felt the same way you do about a few men I have dated. A few times I just feel the man wanted to come back because a situation with another women did not work out and I am familiar to them. I did not allow them back in my life, I don't want to be a man's second or third choice.....
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Exactly, Nikki! I want to be numero uno, the big cheese, the creme de la creme- That's why I had to let him go. I have to feel that I'm chosen b/c I'm the BEST not chosen b/c I'm just good enough- for right now.
 
My high school bf disappeared when I was 18 and we were both going through tough times. I left the state and started a new life in NY. He tracked me down when I was 22, sent me an airline ticket so he could see me, got down on his knee and proposed. I said no b/c I no longer trusted him and couldn't see going through life with someone who runs when times are tough. No thanks. I did forgive him though. My friend told me he did eventually marry and I'm happy for him.

ITA, with the ladies that said not to be 2nd choice. If he thinks he can do better, let him try. He'll be back. If he doesn't have enough sense to recognize how lucky he is to have you the first time around, that's his problem, not yours. I won't say not to give second chances, every situation is different. But hold out for the guy that knows you're the best thing ever and is willing to move heaven and earth to be with you. Anything less is shortchanging yourself.
 
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BK Bombshell said:
My high school bf disappeared when I was 18 and we were both going through tough times. I left the state and started a new life in NY. He tracked me down when I was 22, sent me an airline ticket so he could see me, got down on his knee and proposed. I said no b/c I no longer trusted him and couldn't see going through life with someone who runs when times are tough. No thanks. I did forgive him though. My friend told me he did eventually marry and I'm happy for him.

ITA, with the ladies that said not to be 2nd choice. If he thinks he can do better, let him try. He'll be back. If he doesn't have enough sense to recognize how lucky he is to have you the first time around, that's his problem, not yours. I won't say not to give second chances, every situation is different. But hold out for the guy that knows you're the best thing ever and is willing to move heaven and earth to be with you. Anything less is shortchanging yourself.
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:clap::clap: This is the truth! It's such a great feeling when you find that person too.
 
BK Bombshell said:
My high school bf disappeared when I was 18 and we were both going through tough times. I left the state and started a new life in NY. He tracked me down when I was 22, sent me an airline ticket so he could see me, got down on his knee and proposed. I said no b/c I no longer trusted him and couldn't see going through life with someone who runs when times are tough. No thanks. I did forgive him though. My friend told me he did eventually marry and I'm happy for him.

ITA, with the ladies that said not to be 2nd choice. If he thinks he can do better, let him try. He'll be back. If he doesn't have enough sense to recognize how lucky he is to have you the first time around, that's his problem, not yours. I won't say not to give second chances, every situation is different. But hold out for the guy that knows you're the best thing ever and is willing to move heaven and earth to be with you. Anything less is shortchanging yourself.
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Good for you, for forgiving him! And I agree with you 100% too!!!! :grin::grin::grin:
 
This is exactly the point I was trying to make!!!!

nikki1971 said:
I have felt the same way you do about a few men I have dated. A few times I just feel the man wanted to come back because a situation with another women did not work out and I am familiar to them. I did not allow them back in my life, I don't want to be a man's second or third choice.....
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Caribgirl...in the case of the "comeback ex", please use your gift of discernment in the matter. You'll know if he is sincere and whether or not it is really meant to be.
 
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It has happened to me and I have seen it happened to a lot of my friends. That's why I don't believe in holding on too tightly to anybody. I don't believe that you can own anyone.
 
I think the trick is to REALLY let go, that means, let them go without bitterness and move on with your life, not waiting for them to come back.

This lady I knew, had been dating this guy for a couple of years. He hadn't proposed yet. A nice guy, he seemed to be in love, but not ready for marriage. She told him she is ready to have kids and can't wait anymore, so she sets him free. He moves out of state. She goes on with her life, without hating him at all and without bitterness. She dates other people, considers options like adoption and stuff like that. About 1 year 1/2 later, he contacts her and says he is ready to come back and commit. They've been happily married now for more than 1 year, and working on expending their family. :yep:
 
My current bf met me in Sept. But I wasn't over my ex yet, so I told current bf that I needed more time. He said ok and went away for a minute.

By October, he was calling me and saying that we should give it a try. Let's be exclusive, etc. He came back.
 
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