Who has set their love free and did he come back?

caribgirl

caribgirl

Well-Known Member
"If you love someone set them free, If they come back it was meant to be".

We all know this famous saying but is it really true? Has anyone ever experienced this?
 
I haven't, but my cousin did. Her guy moved away (I'm talking a 16hr flight away) and she let him go. Then 5 years later she moved too and they are now married.
 
i think i am going through something like this now. i have this great guy friend who has put up with me for about 8 years and who i can honestly say is the one person on the planet who knows the most about me. i have thought in the past that he had a "thang" for me but just shrugged it off as being my imagination. you see he is a social butterfly with many many friends and i am more guarded who lets only a select few into my inner circle. recently i have been seriously stressed with working full time and going to school full time and additional family issues, so when he said that he had feelings for me i didn't take him serioulsy and misinterpretted it as some sort of sympathy card. i was thinking that he has so many far more interesting options, why me?! long story short i thought he was being patronizing which led to big argument and hurt feelings. we have talked briefly since then but i can tell that he is still angry with me. the only thing is that i really miss him and am now starting to realize feelings i have for him. hmmm and i have to admit that from time to time i may do a little spying at his myspace to what's going on in his life. :giggle::evilbanana:(i can only admit that last bit here.) i plan to give him a little more time to root it out but by the new year see if we can at least be friends and on speaking terms again.
 
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It happened for me.

I let him go in 2005. Now in 2007, we are stronger than ever. Sometimes the things we need to stay in the relationship are given to us while we are away.

I can honestly say that I dont think we would be as strong as we are now if we hadn't let each other go.

I used to pray every nght for God to take my feelings for him away if it were not for us to be together but for a year, they never faded.

But it's true, if it's real and it comes back...it really is yours.:yawn:
 
I know that is was my fault for having to set him free. I hope he comes back, but I'm not holding my breath:nono:
 
Yes, it has happened to me. He broke up with me up after 3 years, then moved to Atlanta for a better life. 8 months later we got back together while he was down there because he realized that "I was the only one" for him.
He came back to visit and proposed to me on bended knee in our favorite restaurant. I was still very much in love with him and felt like it was a dream come true that he came back to me and in such a way...so I moved down there with him. Two years later, we broke it off for good. It never even got to the marriage. That relationship had more impact on me than any other, till this day.

It also made me realize that sometimes when you break up, it likely means that it was never meant to be.

However I did learn a LOT from that experience and from him. He was a good guy, we just werent good together.
 
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I did, and he came back. Only I didn't want him, because he did some crazy stuff. :ohwell: It happens. Actually, I think that happened with two guys.
 
i did and it wasnt until i truely set it free that he started to find his "way back home." i let it go and when i say it, i mean him, our relationship, our company(spending time together) because we were really friends. it wasnt until i went on with my life and got into another relationship and, as i like to say, he was totally washed out of me was when he started to come back. at 1st i wasnt ready and didnt even want it but i came around too. then we got married and here we are......:grin:
 
Every last ONE of them came back, I knew each of them would, but I never took them back. I've never been one to hold onto dreams with someone it didn't work out with because I believe all happens for a reason and IF it ends, it's NOT meant to be. I'm a realist, don't let me move on because when I do, I REALLY do. Plus, I just lose respect for the man's intelligence, Like "You waited to meet someone like me all your life, or you didn't believe the love you found with me existed before you met me, yet you f'd it up?" I like to believe my purpose in those situations is to teach all those men a life lesson, not settle because they realized after our relationship ended that women like me don't come around like buses.
 
PAPRIKA said:
i think i am going through something like this now. i have this great guy friend who has put up with me for about 8 years and who i can honestly say is the one person on the planet who knows the most about me. i have thought in the past that he had a "thang" for me but just shrugged it off as being my imagination. you see he is a social butterfly with many many friends and i am more guarded who lets only a select few into my inner circle. recently i have been seriously stressed with working full time and going to school full time and additional family issues, so when he said that he had feelings for me i didn't take him serioulsy and misinterpretted it as some sort of sympathy card. i was thinking that he has so many far more interesting options, why me?! long story short i thought he was being patronizing which led to big argument and hurt feelings. we have talked briefly since then but i can tell that he is still angry with me. the only thing is that i really miss him and am now starting to realize feelings i have for him. hmmm and i have to admit that from time to time i may do a little spying at his myspace to what's going on in his life. :giggle::evilbanana:(i can only admit that last bit here.) i plan to give him a little more time to root it out but by the new year see if we can at least be friends and on speaking terms again.
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Thanks for sharing Paprika. I hopethat when you two are communicating again, things will work out as God intended.
 
SvelteVelvet said:
Every last ONE of them came back, I knew each of them would, but I never took them back. I've never been one to hold onto dreams with someone it didn't work out with because I believe all happens for a reason and IF it ends, it's NOT meant to be. I'm a realist, don't let me move on because when I do, I REALLY do. Plus, I just lose respect for the man's intelligence, Like "You waited to meet someone like me all your life, or you didn't believe the love you found with me existed before you met me, yet you f'd it up?" I like to believe my purpose in those situations is to teach all those men a life lesson, not settle because they realized after our relationship ended that women like me don't come around like buses.
Click to expand...

Every last thing you said is so true. Everyone of them come back, and I tell them in advance that they will come back and it will be to late, because when I move on, I really move on. I never intend to go back, ever. I feel sad when they do come back because I'm always like, I saw this coming. I knew it was going to happen to you. Sad. I guess at the time you weren't ready for a real woman whose life is not like a music video or you just didn't know how to handle a real woman. Either way it's too late and you will be left to think about the what ifs for the rest of your life. Shame.
 
p31woman said:
It happened for me.

I let him go in 2005. Now in 2007, we are stronger than ever. Sometimes the things we need to stay in the relationship are given to us while we are away.

I can honestly say that I dont think we would be as strong as we are now if we hadn't let each other go.

I used to pray every nght for God to take my feelings for him away if it were not for us to be together but for a year, they never faded.

But it's true, if it's real and it comes back...it really is yours.:yawn:
Click to expand...

Thanks, p31,

I have done this and the feelings never went away. Your words are very encouraging.
 
HoneyLemonDrop said:
Yes, it has happened to me. He broke up with me up after 3 years, then moved to Atlanta for a better life. 8 months later we got back together while he was down there because he realized that "I was the only one" for him.
He came back to visit and proposed to me on bended knee in our favorite restaurant. I was still very much in love with him and felt like it was a dream come true that he came back to me and in such a way...so I moved down there with him. Two years later, we broke it off for good. It never even got to the marriage. That relationship had more impact on me than any other, till this day.

It also made me realize that sometimes when you break up, it likely means that it was never meant to be.

However I did learn a LOT from that experience and from him. He was a good guy, we just werent good together.
Click to expand...

That's great that you were able to learn from the experience and move on. Sometimes we want things to work out so badly but God has other intentions for us. I'm trying to keep reminded of this.
 
MissJ- Girl, good for you for not settling and knowing when to let go.

honeybadgirl- What is meant to be really will be, huh :yep:.

SvelteVelvet and tatje- You two are very strong. I'm a realist too but sometimes your heart can definitely make you act out of the ordinary and everything that you believe in can be changed.
 
I have 2 friends that did this and they are now back together.

The first couple separated for one year "to think things over" and then got back together and had two children.

The second couple was separated for 2 years I think while dating and seeing others. Now they have bought a condo together and are planning to move in together next year. :)

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
 
caribgirl said:
MissJ- Girl, good for you for not settling and knowing when to let go.

honeybadgirl- What is meant to be really will be, huh :yep:.

SvelteVelvet and tatje- You two are very strong. I'm a realist too but sometimes your heart can definitely make you act out of the ordinary and everything that you believe in can be changed.
Click to expand...

thats what i say! it all happens in due time.
 
SvelteVelvet said:
Every last ONE of them came back, I knew each of them would, but I never took them back. I've never been one to hold onto dreams with someone it didn't work out with because I believe all happens for a reason and IF it ends, it's NOT meant to be. I'm a realist, don't let me move on because when I do, I REALLY do. Plus, I just lose respect for the man's intelligence, Like "You waited to meet someone like me all your life, or you didn't believe the love you found with me existed before you met me, yet you f'd it up?" I like to believe my purpose in those situations is to teach all those men a life lesson, not settle because they realized after our relationship ended that women like me don't come around like buses.
Click to expand...

This is exactly how I feel too... you snooze, you lose! You get one chance to snatch me up and if you f' it up... your loss!

On a more practical note, in the past, I have given men a second chance when they've come back... and it never fails, they f- up AGAIN!

Which just reminds me that I was justified in letting them go in the first place... so now they only get one strike before they're out.
 
Yep...I let him go, he moved away for about a year, we dated other people, but remained friends. Three years after we broke up we started dating each other again and within a year he asked me to marry him. We've been married now for 6 1/2 years.
 
mrselle said:
Yep...I let him go, he moved away for about a year, we dated other people, but remained friends. Three years after we broke up we started dating each other again and within a year he asked me to marry him. We've been married now for 6 1/2 years.
Click to expand...

Yeah!!!!!!:spinning:
 
My man moved out of state because he's always wanted to live there and also because he wanted to provide for us in a more consistant way. I WAS afraid that our relationship would fizzle out. :ohwell:

Instead, he made enough money to where he feels like a king and he asked me to be his queen. Um, we're engaged! So yes, I let him go and he came back...:yep:
 
how long of a time table are we looking at? I let my love go early in our relationship because I felt like I could'nt compeat with his friends (who wanted him to be with THEIR choice) and I just felt everything was aginst us. I told him it was over and he needed to move on because I would...He agreed and we officially called it quits. It was during a party. I gathered my heart and we both pretended nothing was wrong for about an hr. We avoided each other and I could tell some of his friends figured it out and were estatic. I had it, got my things and headed out. Half a block later he catches up to me and begs me to come back and tells me he does'nt want to break up and F his friends. After talking for about an hr, we went back to that party and made it clear that we were together. One girl nearly had a fit. That same girl would later call him hysterically crying and such upon hearing we ran off and got married after another attempt (by her!) to separate us. That was the final straw in her case. He was loathe to cut her off completely because they had been friends for yrs but after that they barely spoke and only at get togethers with me by his side. After we started having kids, she completly fell off the radar and he's lost all respect for her and the things she's done concerning me. They've not spoken in 8 yrs and that's fine with me.

ok, don't know if that story really counts as a "if you love him let him go" thing:perplexed but it's the closest I can get.
 
godzooki said:
how long of a time table are we looking at? I let my love go early in our relationship because I felt like I could'nt compeat with his friends (who wanted him to be with THEIR choice) and I just felt everything was aginst us. I told him it was over and he needed to move on because I would...He agreed and we officially called it quits. It was during a party. I gathered my heart and we both pretended nothing was wrong for about an hr. We avoided each other and I could tell some of his friends figured it out and were estatic. I had it, got my things and headed out. Half a block later he catches up to me and begs me to come back and tells me he does'nt want to break up and F his friends. After talking for about an hr, we went back to that party and made it clear that we were together. One girl nearly had a fit. That same girl would later call him hysterically crying and such upon hearing we ran off and got married after another attempt (by her!) to separate us. That was the final straw in her case. He was loathe to cut her off completely because they had been friends for yrs but after that they barely spoke and only at get togethers with me by his side. After we started having kids, she completly fell off the radar and he's lost all respect for her and the things she's done concerning me. They've not spoken in 8 yrs and that's fine with me.

ok, don't know if that story really counts as a "if you love him let him go" thing:perplexed but it's the closest I can get.
Click to expand...

Your story definitely counts- no time limit needed. Thank God he came back- you have a beautiful family! Very inspiring.
 
caribgirl said:
That's great that you were able to learn from the experience and move on. Sometimes we want things to work out so badly but God has other intentions for us. I'm trying to keep reminded of this.
Click to expand...

This is so true. I can only think of one person I dated that didnt try to come back. I think guys are just built like that. They dont like to burn bridges. However HE was the one person I wanted back badly. It was an emotionally painful experience, but once the pain and tears came to an end, I got stronger and wiser about how I deal with change...which is really what life is all about.
 
Yep, he's back now, but it's too late. I'm in love with someone else now and this time it feel like forever.
 
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