Tylove101
New Member
Now that's funny...Yall be letting some of these polar bears get away with murder!!!
White girl calling my hair nappy
- Thread starter BizzyB131
- Start date
Yall be letting some of these polar bears get away with murder!!!
I am soooooo done!!!! I should NOT have read that at work. That about summed it up. Some umm...'polar bears' feel that because they have association with black folk in other ways they can say whatever they want and it be okay.
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
Some black people embrace the "n" word, too... That wouldn't make me any less offended if it came from the mouth of a polar bear.
Very interesting thread.
I thought naturals embraced the word nappy.
So has nappy become one of those words that black folks can use but if another race uses it, then it is seen as unacceptable?
I think it depends on the context at which the word is being used. Nappy is NOT always used in a negative manner. I see pently of AA women and men using the word as a way to describe their hair, which is beautiful just the way God made it. I also see pently of AAs and other races of people using the word to insult others.
The the case of the OPs friend only the friend knows in what way she meant to use it.
As far as schooling her...I think it is funny to even think that you are going to school someone on a word, that even the race of people who are connected with the word can not even agree on what the word actually means.
Ms.Honey
New Member
Well if one can be a "polar bear" then the other can be "nappy". Fair exchange, no robbery. Now we can make this into whatever we want but seeing that I'm not psychic I don't know what her intent was and neither does anyone else who was not there and only she does and you can assume. Now you can take some of our advice and show your behind at work and lose your job and friend in one blow or you can talk to her at home and settle it like adults. It is a word, offensive or not and she has the right to use it like using the words polar bear and ultimately no one can do a doggone thing about it. All white people aren't racist just like all black people aren't ignorant and ghetto, ready to pop off at the mouth at the wrong time and wind up messing our gig up. Don't let us cause you to make a mountain out of a mole hill. She can say what she wants and so can you. As long as she doesn't put her hands on you ....whatever. But I can guarantee that if she is truly your friend her intent was not to offend. We can't say racist, racist and use equally bigoted words in the same breath. It makes us look like fools and shows why no other race in the world takes black people serious in the first place.We don't even take each other seriously when we do it hence the phrase "Ghetto". Rantings and ravings get block out and we're considered ignorant and pathetic when we do it. Like a two year old throwing a tantrum, nothing has been accomplished and we still don't get what we want. If you still care what she said approach her as the intelligent black woman that you are and let her know how you feel. If she doesn't change end the friendship, good riddance to bad garbage. If she didn't mean harm let it go, good friends are hard to find and even harder to keep.
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SparklingFlame
New Member
I thought the OP said that the girl in question was bi-racial, therefore shes not white. Am I right? If I am half black and I say "Oh girl my hair is nappy today!" would anybody get upset? I wouldnt.
MrsQueeny
Well-Known Member
Oh you still have time to do so. It obviously offended you so I would def say something. See I am quick with my mouth so I would have came back on her with the quickness!!! Q
mrsjohnson75
Well-Known Member
SouthernJewel
exceeding expectations...
ITA.
My head is something nappy right now!
Now I probably would've cursed her out if I had just gotten a fresh relaxer.
MissLawyerLady
New Member
Since you two are so close- and her comment bothered you- you should let her know how you feel.
A white woman with a biracial child may need to have someone tell her the negative connotation associated with the word "nappy" so she can know not to use the word with her own child.... or mistakenly use it with some other sista.... that may slap her to sleep
for calling her head "nappy".
If she's lived in the US during the past year though it would be hard for her not to know that "nappy" is viewed as negative! Ask her if she's ever heard of Don Imus!
A white woman with a biracial child may need to have someone tell her the negative connotation associated with the word "nappy" so she can know not to use the word with her own child.... or mistakenly use it with some other sista.... that may slap her to sleep
for calling her head "nappy".If she's lived in the US during the past year though it would be hard for her not to know that "nappy" is viewed as negative! Ask her if she's ever heard of Don Imus!
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
OT, but Nonie- you have to clear your inbox so that I can respond to your PMs. When I try to submit it says your message box is full! Stop saving all those long winded notes! 
Blaque*Angel
Well-Known Member
When I saw the title of this thread, I was like "Oh, he!! naw!!!"
lol at your smiley, thats a good one
Crissi
New Member
Yall be letting some of these polar bears get away with murder!!!
She said polar bear!
Ok now maybe she was unaware of what she said, i am not condoning it. However she may feel like she can say those things without you taking offense since y'all are so close? I don't know just a thought, i doubt she meant to offend you...
ajoyfuljoy
Well-Known Member
I try not to get into the race threads b/c I feel like some of them focus on petty issues, but this one definitely has some steam behind it!
I would have been upset too! I'm real bad when people say mean things to me b/c often I'm trying to be so nice that I don't know how to react.
...and when i say something, it's never off the cuff, it's real blunt!
Maybe you want to go back to her and ask her what she meant and tell her that her comments offended her?
(I didn't read through the whole thread so I don't know if you did that that yet).
It's good she slipped the comment out though b/c now you kind of know where she is coming from a little.
I would have been upset too! I'm real bad when people say mean things to me b/c often I'm trying to be so nice that I don't know how to react.
...and when i say something, it's never off the cuff, it's real blunt!
Maybe you want to go back to her and ask her what she meant and tell her that her comments offended her?
(I didn't read through the whole thread so I don't know if you did that that yet).
It's good she slipped the comment out though b/c now you kind of know where she is coming from a little.
SleepyJean
Well-Known Member
She could have been joking...she could have been naive...she may have even been trying to insult you. I would have told her not to call my hair "nappy", because I, like many others, find the word insulting. I would have also said it with smile.
Some people just don't know.
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Mook's hair
New Member
Nope, The girl in question is not biracial, she is white.
She has a biracial child.
Various uses of Nappy really just Irk me more than they actually offend me. And some uses don't even Irk me at all.
My grandmother has hair in the 3a area.
It Irks the mess outta me whenever she uses nappy to refer to my hair.
But of course, I always know she is saying it with negative connotation.
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Ms.Honey
New Member
Since you two are so close- and her comment bothered you- you should let her know how you feel.
A white woman with a biracial child may need to have someone tell her the negative connotation associated with the word "nappy" so she can know not to use the word with her own child.... or mistakenly use it with some other sista.... that may slap her to sleep
If she's lived in the US during the past year though it would be hard for her not to know that "nappy" is viewed as negative! Ask her if she's ever heard of Don Imus!
slap her to sleep Exactly how is that done, girl you're a hoot
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
She could have been joking...she could have been naive...she may have been trying to insult you. I would have told her not to call my hair nappy, because I, like many others, find the word insulting. I would have also said it with smile.
Indeed. School her - she might have a friend like me, who is always talking about how nappy her hair is with pride & a smile ...... or she could have got it from her boyfriend/father of her girls as he was talking about a black woman - with or without insult.
Ranting to us about it isn't going to help ya'll friendship, any other encounters she has with kinkyheaded women, nor her daughters.
Let us know how your followup talk with her went, eh?
HAIRapy
SuperDuper Member
You know what. She probably don't even know that the word nappy is insulting because her Black man probably uses it when he's talking about Black women- so maybe she thinks it's okay. She just said it in an as a matter of a fact way, didn't she?? She don't know any better. I'd school her if I were you.
naturalgurl
New Member
If this was repeated, sorry! But I think she thinks that she has this honorary membership to blackdom because she has a black man. She probably thinks she was being cool and black. Sheesh, some people!
TaraDyan
Natural again ... this time for good!
Yall be letting some of these polar bears get away with murder!!!
Hilarious!! Whip, you crazy!
And I totally agree.
SimpleKomplexity
New Member
She could have been joking...she could have been naive...she may have been trying to insult you. I would have told her not to call my hair nappy, because I, like many others, find the word insulting. I would have also said it with smile.
I don't know about the whole smile thing...but I would have told her ...
I bet she would have known then
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
AvaSpeaks
New Member
Very interesting thread.
I thought naturals embraced the word nappy.
So has nappy become one of those words that black folks can use but if another race uses it, then it is seen as unacceptable?
I'm natural and I DO NOT embraced the word nappy!
When naturals embrace the word nappy, to me, that's like Black folks being okay with calling themselves the "n' word. The fact that she said that shows that non-black people are getting comfortable with calling us names and making fun of us right in front of our faces. And if we don't accept it, then we are deemed as either PC or too sensitive.
You best believe some chick, ANY chick, calls me nappy, it's on!
I don't care what race you are...:mob:
AvaSpeaks
New Member
One more thing, you gotta remember this; non-Blacks have a tendency to take our terms and now use in their everyday venacular.
Like them constantly calling something "ghetto". Or the fact that ALOT of women, especially younger girls are now calling their own hair, nappy. So she was probably just saying it because that's something that she uses all the time now.
I'm telling ya'll I've seen it happen and still happens. These switches are getting out of pocket
Like them constantly calling something "ghetto". Or the fact that ALOT of women, especially younger girls are now calling their own hair, nappy. So she was probably just saying it because that's something that she uses all the time now.
I'm telling ya'll I've seen it happen and still happens. These switches are getting out of pocket
Transformer
Well-Known Member
I'm natural and I DO NOT embraced the word nappy!
You best believe some chick, ANY chick, calls me nappy, it's on!
:mob:
You might have a lot of fighting to do. I use the term frequently...to describe my texture...There are so many young ladies that are always telling me...."I can't comb my hair....I need a touch up...my roots are so nappy."
If someone uses a term I considered "offensive" I would simply educate them instead of acquiring a police record for battery. If it is repeated there is always HR.
Also, is "kinky" more acceptable?
AvaSpeaks
New Member
To each his own. I don't call my hair "nappy" and I don't allow others to do so either. You do and that's your choice. So what's your point?
Ms.Honey
New Member
One more thing, you gotta remember this; non-Blacks have a tendency to take our terms and now use in their everyday venacular.
Like them constantly calling something "ghetto". Or the fact that ALOT of women, especially younger girls are now calling their own hair, nappy. So she was probably just saying it because that's something that she uses all the time now.
I'm telling ya'll I've seen it happen and still happens. These switches are getting out of pocket
They also call themselves and each other the "N" word. It's a big thing among some white teens. And some adult male "20 somethings" too.
Kirei
New Member
Thank You! You said it!
You hit the nail on the head!I was thinking the same thing when they said "polar bear"........
wannabelong
Well-Known Member
I can only assume that since you two are pretty close, she didn't mean any harm. Just nicely tell her that you would rather her not refer to your hair as nappy because the word is perceived as negative by you and others who may not be so nice if you use it around them.
