SO doesn't like nappy hair

[HairBarbie]

It's a shame that the hair that grows out of black people's scalp is hated so much. At the end of the day, it's your choice. Do what you feel is right for you.

 

[glamazon386]

If he loves you, he'll get over it. My SO isn't against natural hair altogether but he doesn't like some styles. He doesn't particularly care for my wash and go (And I think that has to do with the shrinkage/looking short - not the texture) and he HATES my buns but he got over it. My hair could change every day of the week. Most of the time when he sees me, it's different than it was the last time so he doesn't sweat it. As long as it's done, he doesn't really care. He was really upset about that bun last week though. However, he will have to get used to it because I love buns. That is one of my favorite styles. And unless he's paying for me to get my hair done he has no say. He prefers my hair down as do most men.

 

[Naemone]

I know what he is trying to say, but a relaxer is not a wonder pill.
Dry, unhealthy hair+ chemicals=DAMAGE

Which still wouldn't be attractive.

 

[aramaticart]

And unless he's paying for me to get my hair done he has no say.

This is the attitude I have about almost everything that has to do with my appearance. My family had stuff to say about me going natural but who cares?

Anyway, my advice would be to do what YOU feel is best for you/your hair. If he sticks around and likes it then great! If he leaves you based on that...well then he wasn't really worth it in the first place...

 

[cocochanty]

I feel that if a man is willing to sacrfice time into a relationship he should accept you for who you are. Wheather you are 4b, 4a or 4c. I dont believe in changing for anyone

 

[chicacanella]

I think that many natural afro-textured people don't have the whole moisture balance thing under control and mistake grease as a moisturiser. Our hair is too fragile to be completely naked (no products) without breakage. When this happens you see, hair that is dry, poofy and shrunken and to be honest it just doesn't look good worn out loose unless the hair is braided or plaited up. However, once a person is able to get that moisture balance in control and use braids or twists at night to hold the moisture and keep a curl pattern the hair looks completely different. I am natural as well and I can see the difference in my hair and styles when I did not know how to maintain moisture in my hair vs when I just used to use only grease and I won't lie when it was the latter my hair was just not attractive, and not because it did not have a curl pattern but because it looked dry and breaking. So, I understand what he means in a way.

Best,
Almond Eyes

I concur with your post. When you let all of your relaxer grow out and just give your hair a break, moisturize, dc...this is when you will see your natural curl pattern. Before, when I had natural hair I could never see my curl pattern because it had been stomped out from all the heat. But when you leave all that alone and just moisturize and dc, you will see your true hair texture.

OP: If you are comparing your hair texture from before LHCF or taking proper care of it, you might find that it may be a totally different texture than what you remember. Healthiness and moisture makes such a big difference.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

I asked him what he thought about natural hair (didn't tell him i was x-sitioning):

Him:"if its curly, that's ok, but that nappy sh... need a perm on it"
Me: "i got nappy hair, so if i came in here w/ an afro, what would you think?"
Him:"i mean i dont know. i just dont like that dry, nappy, rolled-up sh..."
Me: "well what if they take care of it?"
Him:"well if they take care of it, maybe, i don't know. but that dry nappy sh... need a perm on it. most folk w/ nappy hair have it all dry and rolled up."

mind you he's a 4a who keeps it cut, and when its not cut, it rolls up lol. anyhoo, i got kinda discouraged. i know i know, just do me, make myself happy, but still kinda got to me.

Exactly. Do what's best for you and the health of your hair.

I have very unpopular opinions about this hair type thing and what not. Anyways, keep mind that he is allowed to not like 4a hair or ... etc. It all boils down to what one finds aesthetically pleasing to their eyes.

However, he could at least try to be supportive in some way.

 

[supagyrl0302]

I can def relate. My sweetie is super anti-weave. I got a full sew-in as a protective style and he is feeling it. His only complaint is my real hair is pretty long so he is baffald as 2 y I got a weave. Don't worry girl he isn't going newhere and if he does put on ur freak um dress and sing "F'm girl, F'm" while doing the whop and u'll be feeling good

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Forgive me, but he sounds really closed-minded. Is he like that with other topics/issues?

 

[wheezy807]

Sorry but half the time men don't know what the hell their talking about truthfully. I don't think he's every seen healthy natural hair. I wouldn't pay him any attention hence the "IDK".

 

[Lebiya]

It's a shame that the hair that grows out of black people's scalp is hated so much. At the end of the day, it's your choice. Do what you feel is right for you.

fo real eh, and the majority of the time its BLACK people talkin that mess.

I'm somewhat sensitive when it comes to hair and skin issues because of where is stems from. I would feel very uncomfortable around my SO when I'm natural if he felt that way, the relationhip wouldnt last, any man that cannot appreciate me in my natural state 'as much', is not the man for me.

OP, only your know your SO best, do what is best for you

 

[Stepiphanie]

Dude's always have something sideways to say bout our hair cuz they don't no any better!I remember when I got my short cut...talking bout why u did that,it's too short and soo on... Now he says it's sexy! Go figure. Just grow ur hair if he loves you, he'll eventually love it!

 

[nichole21]

Interesting read! I'm transitioning and when I told my S/O he said the same thing basically. He didn't like natural hair. Every time I brought it up, he'd smirk at the topic. I asked him, what would he do if I DID go natural and he basically said the same thing as your man... well, I don't know... but. So I took that as he wasn't going to do anything, he just didn't like it. I told him I was going natural and I am. If he's that pressed over my hair being natural (or thinks he can tell me how to wear my hair) then he's not the one anyway. So I'm 6 months in transition and happy to be nappy. lol

 

[me-T]

thanks for ya'lls support. i mean, we wont break up over it and nothin all that crazy. but from hair talks we've had before, he only knows-like most guys- what he's told by women around him. hell i had to tell him that its called new growth, not "perm wearing off" lol! thinks braids "grow your hair" and all that other stuff.

i'm no longer trippin. he shall see the light!