When to talk about sex on a date

[hairjournalist2013]

When do you discuss your expectations/limits of what you will or not do in terms for sex with someone you are dating? On the 5 or 6th date? I know the dating world has changed since I entered in as a teen now I'm almost in my mid 20's. Now some men expect strip club/3somes with women/porn. I dont do strip clubs/threesomes/porn. I mean I prefer to tell him before hand so we wont waste time on each other. So I wont end up like my friend. When do you tell a man these things?

 

[yuhlovevybz]

I prefer not to talk about it at all... they will find out in due time.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

What happened to your friend?

 

[preciouslove0x]

Very good question. I have no idea myself. Guys are so up front about it these days that I never have to bring it up. I don't know how I feel about that... but I guess it helps with not wasting each other's time. When I started dating I couldn't believe some of the convos these guys tried to have with me on the first/second date. Completely appalled to say the least

 

[Mortons]

Depends. When I pay for the meal you owe me booty. I talk about it on the way back to my place

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Depends. When I pay for the meal you owe me booty. I talk about it on the way back to my place

You're so silly.

 

[nlamr2013]

Whenever you feel like it.
Some people do it when the relationship seems to be turning towards sex. Some first date.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Very good question. I have no idea myself. Guys are so up front about it these days that I never have to bring it up. I don't know how I feel about that... but I guess it helps with not wasting each other's time. When I started dating I couldn't believe some of the convos these guys tried to have with me on the first/second date. Completely appalled to say the least

I'd love to hear some of these conversation starters. "The snapper was delicious ... so speaking of snappers..... "

 

[Briabiggles]

I know one thing for certain, if you are waiting til marriage be sure to tell him off the bat. Ideally, he would know before you even go out.

I'm just let it flow organically. SO and I never talked about it. It just happened.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[Cheekychica]

I wouldn't worry about it; these conversations usually happen naturally. Men will give you plenty of openings

Sent from my Nexus 7 using LHCF

 

[preciouslove0x]

I'd love to hear some of these conversation starters. "The snapper was delicious ... so speaking of snappers..... "

Nope. They don't even try to be clever with it. This has alllwayysss been the sequence, roughly, IME.

Q1 Would you consider yourself to be affectionate?
Q2 Do you like kissing? *insert weird kissing experience*
Q3 Do you like holding hands?
Q4 What about cuddling? *I don't like cuddling so they get all shocked and ask me why that's the case*
Q5 Well if you don't like cuddling do you like hugging? *I say yes*
Them: oh ok good. Just wanted to know so I know how to pleasure you. I'm all about pleasuring the woman *or a similar statement inserted here*
Q6 You're not celibate are you?

Yea......

Or I get guys who just jump right in.

Them : wow you are so pretty and look so sweet..... almost innocent like. *chuckle* I really like that about you. But I bet you like to have fun since you're a Scorpio, right?

Yea.......

 

[ladylibra_30]

I like guys who don't talk about sex. I think those are the ones who tend to be skillful in bed vs the ones who give lip service. (Pun intended)

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

I was texting someone and he asked me if I was going out on Friday. I said I don't know yet and that the rain was messing stuff up. He sends me a screen shot of the weather where he was (warm and no rain). I told him its not nice to tease people. He said "you don't like to be teased" and I said "not with weather messages" so he said "I can ways send prada bag pics" and I said "I don't like that type of teasing either". And he said "what type of teasing so you like". SIGHhhhhhhh

I ignored it and maybe two hours later he said "you can tell me...." I ignored that text also

I havent even know. This guy a month. We haven't met in person. He saw me commenting on a mutual friends FB post and told her he was interested.

This same guy travels a lot and has said he would love to come to DC to visit. I say Id love to meet him and its as if he waits for me to offer for him to stay with me. Smh

I think it's way to early for all that.

 

[preciouslove0x]

I like guys who don't talk about sex. I think those are the ones who tend to be skillful in bed vs the ones who give lip service. (Pun intended)

For me I don't plan on having sex with my partner until marriage so part of me likes it that they bring it up early on. The other part of me is completely offended lol. Its a strange situation.

 

[barbiesocialite]

well if you don't plan on putting out or have conditions on when/how you have sex, you should cut to the chase almost right away. doesnt have to be the first date but it should be within the first few weeks. Be direct, honest, and dont be manipulative.

This method weeds men and their intent out pretty fast. who's here to play, who's here to stay.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Lmao, these conversations remind me of someone. Haha. Straight, no chaser.

 

[LiftedUp]

Usually, when you get to know each others values, standards etc. the other person will get and idea of your stance and then the conversation will naturally arise. Also when you get to know him, his values, standards etc. or lack thereof, you will become aware of his motive before he explicitly tells you.