alexstin
Well-Known Member
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
When The Woman Makes Significantly More Than The Man And Wants To Keep Finances Separate
- Thread starter alexstin
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KimPossibli
Supergirl
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he woukd never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
lol! she aint going anywhere. Old dude is going to be on the come up!
congrats to him *cackle*
WhoIAm
Well-Known Member
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
Chile. Wth is she fussing about bills for? Sounds like she's ok with her kept man.
OriginalBeauty
Well-Known Member
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
Hmm. I wasn't going to say anything. But this says a lot. I'm going to just let it sit here.
janiebaby
Well-Known Member
She don't want to marry him.
I was gonna make a thread earlier about marrying the man who says yes after watching toya and memphitz on marriage bootcamp so I'll just say this...
She may not want to marry him but she does wanna get married
..and it will be to him
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
Right. But men always shoot for the moon. Dajuan with the swing signs for tax companies part time job wants a Michelle Obama and thinks he should have that. Lol.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
DeepBluSea
Well-Known Member
She's an idiot. Things will only get worse.
He is satisfied working 35 hours and earning 45k. If he is satisfied with his position, she can't motivate the man. He likes his 45k and she is supplementing his income. No wonder he wants joint accounts.
Baby girl needs to stop fooling herself. Does she want to just be married or does she want to marry him? She is setting both of them up for failure. He will never measure up and she will resent him for not measuring up.
He is satisfied working 35 hours and earning 45k. If he is satisfied with his position, she can't motivate the man. He likes his 45k and she is supplementing his income. No wonder he wants joint accounts.
Baby girl needs to stop fooling herself. Does she want to just be married or does she want to marry him? She is setting both of them up for failure. He will never measure up and she will resent him for not measuring up.
Black Ambrosia
Well-Known Member
They need to have a real heart to heart talk about the future and her expectations. If there's no chance of advancement at his current job then she already knows his limitations. They need to downsize and try living off what he makes before moving forward with marriage. Even if they find a way to make that work, odds are he'll resent that all the extra money is going into her bank account and she'll resent that she isn't living the way she would if he was making more money.
I feel like she's setting herself up to pay alimony and this bill pay situation he's negotiating now will be Exhibit A in divorce court.
I feel like she's setting herself up to pay alimony and this bill pay situation he's negotiating now will be Exhibit A in divorce court.
Miss_C
Well-Known Member
Thank you for this comment. I have been pretty down all weekend and that was the first time I've laughed today.My dad and his wife was like this... dad made max of 45-50K and step mom is a broker...150K+I watched the Suze Orman show when it was on and this kind of issue came up a lot. Below is what she always suggested.
Partner #1 makes $7k/month.
Partner #2 makes $3k/month.
Household expenses total $3k/month.
In the case above, Suze would suggest that the bills be split 70/30, rather than 50/50. This way, each partner/spouse is responsible for an equal percentage of the bills rather than an equal dollar amount. They don’t earn equal dollar amounts, so they shouldn’t pay equal dollar amounts.
After all, paying $1,500 worth of bills (a 50/50 split) drains the $3k earner a lot more, percentage-wise, than it does the $7k earner.
However, she needs seriously evaluate his earning potential and decide if this is something that she can live with....cause I could not.
What they did was buy what he could afford.
Meaning they brought their second house before the Olympics inATL for 100k now the 5 bedroom house is worth 3 times the value. Their household expenses are split 50/50.
It has worked for them.35 years plus of marriage
They had the same income when they entered the marriage.
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BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
How did this relationship even start? I keep trying to picture it. Were they closer in finances at one point then she left him in the dust career-wise? Does he have a medical issue? I'm trying to make it make sense. 
Even if she was making 95k to his 80k it wouldn't be as drastic.
Even if she was making 95k to his 80k it wouldn't be as drastic.
JerriBlank
Well-Known Member
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
I don't understand.
Why even pretend that you don't want to give him access to all your money, then splurge on something like a 80k piece of jewelry...when he works in a jewelry store?
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
How did this relationship even start? I keep trying to picture it. Were they closer in finances at one point then she left him in the dust career-wise? Does he have a medical issue? I'm trying to make it make sense.
Even if she was making 95k to his 80k it wouldn't be as drastic.
I've seen it a million times....they met in a mall, club, gas station and she found out what he did and said... it didn't matter. She failed to do the math until right at this point.....a few years in, engaged and/or living together and a few cases few years into the marriage she realized the vast disparity in income or better yet work ethic is a problem.
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
I was going to ask if she is at an age where she feels she has to settle or else she won't be married in child bearing years or something she is settling. Honey, anytime you have to explain to your not-even-husband-yet WHY you shouldn't be penalized for making more, as he is trying to haggle bills with you, then he is not the one.
The fact that he is approaching her with this attitude instead of trying to achieve a higher potential OR AT LEAST WORK OVERTIME AT THE JEWELRY STORE TO BE ABLE TO PAY A NON-SHAMEFUL amount of the bills is gross. I do not like to join trains of thought that say blue collar workers are inferior or this type or that type of person is inferior because I think what a person is made of is what's important (though, that doesn't mean you can date or marry everybody. There is a huge gap between dating somebody and finding them inferior) but a man who thinks like this man does not seem to be made of much.
OP, is it him or her asking this question on the other board?
The fact that he is approaching her with this attitude instead of trying to achieve a higher potential OR AT LEAST WORK OVERTIME AT THE JEWELRY STORE TO BE ABLE TO PAY A NON-SHAMEFUL amount of the bills is gross. I do not like to join trains of thought that say blue collar workers are inferior or this type or that type of person is inferior because I think what a person is made of is what's important (though, that doesn't mean you can date or marry everybody. There is a huge gap between dating somebody and finding them inferior) but a man who thinks like this man does not seem to be made of much.
OP, is it him or her asking this question on the other board?
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
Also OP, does either of them have kids? What are their races? Please advise
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I don't understand.
Why even pretend that you don't want to give him access to all your money, then splurge on something like a 80k piece of jewelry...when he works in a jewelry store?
Oh, ****! He do, don't he?
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
Oh, ****! He do, don't he?
TCatt86
Well-Known Member
Oh well disregard my original post. She needs to just deal with it, since she likes giving him money. Maybe when she has kids he can work part time and watch the kids. She could save a ton on childcare doing that. Is he degreed? He could home school the kids too.Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
alexstin
Well-Known Member
It was used, does that count for anything?I don't understand.
Why even pretend that you don't want to give him access to all your money, then splurge on something like a 80k piece of jewelry...when he works in a jewelry store?
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movingforward
Moving forward and onward
He must sign a prenup
He must sign a prenup
I would match whatever income he has, if he only makes $45 then I would match that with my salary and the rest will go into a savings. But bills would be split in half, each have a persona account and one household account.
He must sign a prenup
I would match whatever income he has, if he only makes $45 then I would match that with my salary and the rest will go into a savings. But bills would be split in half, each have a persona account and one household account.
alexstin
Well-Known Member
I don't know.Also OP, does either of them have kids? What are their races? Please advise
janiebaby
Well-Known Member
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
I wonder if it's more to keep up with the Joneses than it is to shower him with a gift. Would need to stay tuned
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
But but but ... can't you SEE what he makes to a certain extent? Even in normal conversation, you're talking about vacationing in Belize and he wants to eat barbecue in Kansas City. Something, lol.
JerriBlank
Well-Known Member
Oh, ****! He do, don't he?
I'm saying, he could have easily made that happen for himself, no?! Put ya own Rolex on layaway! Lmao. Is she determined to emasculate him even further? If so, then why complain that he wants your money for himself? ! I want to fight her!
JerriBlank
Well-Known Member
It was used, does that count for anything?
He's gonna use that second hand Rolex, as well as the rest of her money to get with trashy hoes and cheat on her. He's that type.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
But I want to vacation in Belize AND go bbq in Kansas city and that dude is no where near my money.
45k to 90k is a big difference only when you all talk bills, expense divisions, etc. Someone making 45k with minimal expenses can eat out or even go on a vacation with someone making 90k with higher living expenses and student loans. I seriously think when you're dating, having fun and then get comfortable doing more netflix and chill, it just wasn't obvious to her or not seem like a big deal til he said......well you make more so you should pay more of the bills.
Then she was like Bih whet?
I couldn't do it as a Taurean, but I see how that can happens...especially when you just want to be boo'ed up, then married, he's probably attractive and charming and bam.....Got Eem!
jeanghrey
Well-Known Member
Well, she just bought him a Rolex that he'd been admiring(and he admits he would never spend that much on a watch), so she doesn't mind spending money on her man. She's a keeper.
This will not end well.....
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