What would you do if your SO told you........

[aja1121]

to eat sh*t and die or you are the biggest mistake of my life

My girlfriend has been with her SO for almost 3 years and he has said stuff like this to her maybe 5 times.

Problem
- she really loves him
- they just got an apt. together, both names on lease
- he tells everyone that she is the one and that he's going to marry her
- she loves his family

What would you do?

 

[carcajada]

Sounds like they have things they need to work out.

I know that unless I'm in that person's relationship, I don't know what I would do. Everyone's situation is different and probably no one but them knows the whole story.

 

[aja1121]

exactly...so I try not to judge. I just listen.

 

[carcajada]

exactly...so I try not to judge. I just listen.

That's the best thing. Me and DH said a lot of questionable things to each other when we were dating. It just took a lot of growing up and working things out. Anyone just getting the bits and pieces of it would think we were straight up crazy.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Eat shyt and die though!?

Man... It's deep.

But seriously, I think he was heated and was talking out the side of his neck. We all have those moments. I bet not once did she say what she said to HIM and/or what events happens to occur up to these moments.

 

[Arcadian]

Dang... SO knows he better not even go that route. I respect him to never say some crazy stuff like that and he better not ever say that to me.

I guess it depends on the person and their tolerence level. If she talks just as bad about him then i guess its tit for tat.

-A

 

[yourleoqueen]

I'd tell him to kiss my entire black ***, pack my ish and bounce.

I'd never say that to anyone, so I wouldn't tolerate anyone saying it to me. But that's jus me tho.

 

[seraphinelle]

Leoqueen, that would be me too.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Speaking for my situation, and not your friend's, I would be extremely hurt. I dont do extreme verbal sparring in my relationship. If my DH could fix his lips to say something like this in the middle of the most heated argument I would take great issue to this, because I dont believe this to be apart of his character. There would definitely be some repercussions and consequences.

 

[calliope]

Disrespect is a slippery slope. She's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from receiving a **** slap or pretty sound *** beating one of these days. Not trying to say that it will happen, but if someone can get mad enough to tell someone that they "love" to "eat s%#@ and die" I wouldn't put much past them. That being said, to answer your question, my dh likes breathing, walking, chewing solid food, urinating without the use of a catheter,etc. waaaay too much to eva try that mess.

 

[Sistaslick]

I've said some pretty incredible things myself in the heat of the moment . . .

We'd really have to know the details of their relationship, because one statement isn't the end all be all. And it was harsh, but we still don't know the context of the statement. What if he'd just found out she had given him an STD? Or she was cheating with his baby brother? Yes, he is soooo wrong for saying that, but was it a first reaction response to something she did.

If this is something that is ongoing, "unprovoked" and is chipping away at her as a person, I'd definitely start packing.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I've said some pretty incredible things myself in the heat of the moment . . .

We'd really have to know the details of their relationship, because one statement isn't the end all be all. And it was harsh, but we still don't know the context of the statement. What if he'd just found out she had given him an STD? Or she was cheating with his baby brother? Yes, he is soooo wrong for saying that, but was it a first reaction response to something she did.

If this is something that is ongoing, "unprovoked" and is chipping away at her as a person, I'd definitely start packing.

This was exactly my point.

 

[thiccknlong]

to eat sh*t and die or you are the biggest mistake of my life

My girlfriend has been with her SO for almost 3 years and he has said stuff like this to her maybe 5 times.

Problem
- she really loves him
- they just got an apt. together, both names on lease
- he tells everyone that she is the one and that he's going to marry her
- she loves his family

What would you do?

make him kick rocks

 

[Honey6928215]

to eat sh*t and die or you are the biggest mistake of my life

My girlfriend has been with her SO for almost 3 years and he has said stuff like this to her maybe 5 times.

Problem
- she really loves him
- they just got an apt. together, both names on lease
- he tells everyone that she is the one and that he's going to marry her
- she loves his family

What would you do?

Eventhough he was waayyyy out of line for saying that, you only heard one side. Maybe she did something to piss him off who knows. But still that issue needs to be addressed so they both can get pass this.

 

[Puddles]

I'd tell him to kiss my entire black ***, pack my ish and bounce.

I'd never say that to anyone, so I wouldn't tolerate anyone saying it to me. But that's jus me tho.

Sad to say...but I agree. He's just my boyfriend....heated or not....certain things just shouldn't be said. I'm out.

 

[MochaSilk]

Disrespect is a slippery slope. She's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from receiving a **** slap or pretty sound *** beating one of these days. Not trying to say that it will happen, but if someone can get mad enough to tell someone that they "love" to "eat s%#@ and die" I wouldn't put much past them. That being said, to answer your question, my dh likes breathing, walking, chewing solid food, urinating without the use of a catheter,etc. waaaay too much to eva try that mess.

I totally agree with everything you said, Calliope. Hubby's gotten pretty mad at me in the past, yet it didn't even occur to him to go there, for he likes the same things yours does. I don't tolerate anybody talking down to me or resorting to childish verbiage just because they're mad. A person can be a respectful adult and be mad at the same time.

OP, while you don't know the other side of the story or what provoked him, I still cringe when I hear of couples even introducing that dynamic into the relationship. The only valid reason he should say that to a loved one is if he was kicked in the ding-ding. Still, that depends on what he did to get kicked in the ding-ding.

Honestly, it's still too soon to tell - they could just be going through a "crazy, a$$-showing" phase. I've known couples who I swore were plotting to kill each other, but they truly loved one another. Like Della Reese & Red Foxx on Harlem Nights. That may be their thing... However, I'd keep a watchful eye on bro'man.

 

[AKA-Tude]

Disrespect is a slippery slope. She's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from receiving a **** slap or pretty sound *** beating one of these days. Not trying to say that it will happen, but if someone can get mad enough to tell someone that they "love" to "eat s%#@ and die" I wouldn't put much past them. That being said, to answer your question, my dh likes breathing, walking, chewing solid food, urinating without the use of a catheter,etc. waaaay too much to eva try that mess.

This is pretty much my opinion as well.

Shizznit-talkin' like that will make me hit a **** in the mouf, pack my mess & get my stroll on! (Been there-done THAT!)

There's no place for that in a LOVING RELATIONSHIP.

Nah, couldn't be me.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

Without knowing the who situation, it is hard to say. BUT- its seems like a lot of verbal abuse is going on in dat relationship.

If she is really interested in being with this guy longterm, she needs to get them into some couples counseling.

 

[Finesse]

Me being the way I am....I have said some crazy stuff in the heat of the moment too. If my hubby said eat sh@t and die, I would ask him how he does he like his cooked because I want him to have some too....meaning I would prolly cuss him str8 out and not even think anything about it. I have been married for 11 years and "known" him for 20....I have heard and said some of everything during a heated argument. Now if he start throwing punches, or speaking to me like that on a everyday basis,that's a whole 'notha story.

 

[dlewis]

I'd tell him to kiss my entire black ***, pack my ish and bounce.

I'd never say that to anyone, so I wouldn't tolerate anyone saying it to me. But that's jus me tho.

I agree.................that's just mean. Sounds like he has some anger issues.

 

[FlowerHair]

to eat sh*t and die or you are the biggest mistake of my life

My girlfriend has been with her SO for almost 3 years and he has said stuff like this to her maybe 5 times.

Problem
- she really loves him
- they just got an apt. together, both names on lease
- he tells everyone that she is the one and that he's going to marry her
- she loves his family

What would you do?

It sounds like he has very strong feelings for her
He sounds immature, but I'm sure he loves her otherwise he wouldn't tell people she is the one.

 

[dlewis]

It sounds like he has very strong feelings for her
He sounds immature, but I'm sure he loves her otherwise he wouldn't tell people she is the one.

Stop joking around.

 

[dona_flor]

I'd tell him to kiss my entire black ***, pack my ish and bounce.

I'd never say that to anyone, so I wouldn't tolerate anyone saying it to me. But that's jus me tho.

No LeoQueen, it's not just you . No matter who said it, that's verbally abusive. IMO.

Put it this way, if my own mother (who I love dearly) told me to "Eat 'ish and die.", that would be the last she saw of me . So, I would be d@mned before anyone who isn't my blood kin got a pass for saying something like that.

That sounds like a character flaw on his part. Your character is a part of your personality. Barring some sort of mental illness, I don't believe that counseling can change 'who' you are. Thats just my own (non-scientific) opinion.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

OP, I know a couple females who are like this... I dont understand why females tell other people these things... I mean, if you know that you are going to stay with a man regardless of what he says or does, why tell your girlfriends about his nasty behavior? It only makes you look stupid for putting up with it.

 

[FlowerHair]

Stop joking around.

I mean it

 

[dlewis]

No LeoQueen, it's not just you . No matter who said it, that's verbally abusive. IMO.

Put it this way, if my own mother (who I love dearly) told me to "Eat 'ish and die.", that would be the last she saw of me . So, I would be d@mned before anyone who isn't my blood kin got a pass for saying something like that.

That sounds like a character flaw on his part. Your character is a part of your personality. Barring some sort of mental illness, I don't believe that counseling can change 'who' you are. Thats just my own (non-scientific) opinion.

Your little girl looks so cute with her tan.

 

[locabouthair]

Sounds like they have things they need to work out.

I know that unless I'm in that person's relationship, I don't know what I would do. Everyone's situation is different and probably no one but them knows the whole story.

I see what you're saying but to tell someone those things. I dont know. i dont see how someone can justify that. and he has said it several times. couples go through their arguments but IMO they need to split. cuz no one that cares about you is going to tell you those things.

 

[cocoberry10]

Sounds like they have things they need to work out.

I know that unless I'm in that person's relationship, I don't know what I would do. Everyone's situation is different and probably no one but them knows the whole story.

I think this is very true!

 

[dona_flor]

Your little girl looks so cute with her tan.

Thank you, dlewis . She got some extra sun just before kindergarten picture day. (perfect timing)

You're looking quite glowing with your own tan !

 

[NoNapNique]

to eat sh*t and die or you are the biggest mistake of my life

My girlfriend has been with her SO for almost 3 years and he has said stuff like this to her maybe 5 times.

Problem
- she really loves him
- they just got an apt. together, both names on lease
- he tells everyone that she is the one and that he's going to marry her
- she loves his family

What would you do?

I was married to a man who said this EXACT SAME THING. I divorced him.