I will give a brief overview of my very first date in LA, he was a nice looking, well dressed seemingly well educated person. BEWARE of charming men, there's always something NOT right with them. He was attracted to my beauty and booty, and thought that he would capitolize off of it! Need I say more! For those of you who are not with me read on. After talking to me and realizing that I had a brain he KNEW I wouldn't sell ANYTHING and give my proceeds to another person. Get it yet? Ok here goes, he was a pimp! That experience somewhat traumatized me because I just couldn't fathom WHY ANYONE would have the impression or audacity to try to run game on me lavish me with a incredible date all while trying to lure me into this degrading occupation. Doesn't he know game recognize game?! I mean I am from the city of politics, The Nations Capitol! Fast forward to next date. Well, he's in his 40's I'm thinking ok, there should be some sort of maturity. NOT! This dude was so crass by the end of the night (which lasted every bit of 3 hours) I WAS READY TO SLIT MY WRIST!!!!!!!!!! If I had to endure one more minute, well let's get into the details of the date. First I get a guage of him by telephone conversations and a series of questions, which I felt more comfortable going on a date. While telling him how to get to me, he ask or shall I say implied about the police presence in my neighnorhood because as he put it, the cops press you down in certain areas when you drive a nice car. I at that point couldn't wait to see what this fool was driving not because I'm materialistic but simply to have something to talk about. Ok this idiot is in a Chrysler 300C. I'm like well dag I really knew some kind of Bentley, BMW, or Benz was it. Ok, so he did pass one test, he got out the car to open my door. 1 brownie point gained. So after another interrogation process, I started to think, ok perhaps he's not that bad. Until I realize this nincompoop had us sitting on the 405 in gridlock for 2 hours! Why come he just couldn't take the city route. Which I later realize maybe he didn't want one of his chickens to run into us. How did I know he has a flock of chikenheads, well he gets this phone call and immediately signals me to zip it, and abruptly jumps out the car to carry on with the conversation. 20 brownie points lost. Rule 1 YOU NEVER take phone calls on first date, they are lasting impressions. Since I'm pretty laid back and really not caring I of course didn't mention how rude that was. He wanted to take me to Unversal Studios to somewhere up there but by then I was ready to call it off, but patience presevered and I just remained cordial. We then get off in Burbank and he commenced to playing this song on R. Kelly's new CD, now granted I love Robert Kelly as an artist, and I think along with the majority that he's a lyrical genius but this one song that's on his double up cd, it's him cussing out his girl because she questioned him about her freind seeing him cheating WHEW, see that was too much & I don't know the name of the song, but it was SO VULGAR it had my stomach turning, and to add insult to injury this tack ball had it blasted so EVERYONE in the valleys probably could hear it! I was so embarrased I could have jumped out the car and ran as fast as I could, but I didn't, I kindly asked this doe doe brain to turn it down, but I DID let him have an earful about just how insulting and upset I was that I had to sit there and listen to that in total disgust. Tells you what kind of man he was and the type of females he's used to dealing with. So, in the meantime I'm really trying my HARDEST to maintain my composure while being little miss manners. I then suggest a restuarant on 3rd street to speed this date up, where ever he had plans on taking me was null and void in my book. I'm at this point realizing I'm dealing with someone whose brain was the size of a pea. Ok, then this dummy takes me to The Grove @ the Promenade I strongly protested since I realize that 1. He is not someone that I really want to be seen with in public & 2. Not at the grove where papparazzi hangs out for celebrity spottings. We head to Berries and this jerk comes out of his mouth saying, "That's one of those $50 plate places!" I was so mortified and offended. How come he thought he was taking a person of my calibur some where flossing like you can afford Cristal on an Olde English budget, and I DID ASK HIM THAT! This crass ******* replies that it's bill time, I calmed down and informed him that he need not take anyone out with a limited bank roll because I party like a rockstar, and that's real for real talk! By then he probably felt as though he stuck his foot in his mouth and realized I was NOT joking, so he went with MY program. We pull up and he sqawks over $5 Valet parking! I'm then being unlady like because this fool was bringing that ghettofab up out of me, I said listen stop being a cheap skate and pay for the parking and make sure you tip! Do you know this birdbrain said he was just joking. YEAH RIGHT! Once inside we get waited on and I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu for him inconviencing me. This no having any etiqutte thug asked for bread to be brought, see you know he doesn't get out often, if they bring no bread that means THERE IS NO BREAD, fool didn't know he had to pay for the rolls, THEN he went on to eat them all up and ask for more after one basket was gone WTF?! I'm really by this time wishing I could do a genie and snap my head and disappear. How dare he be in my spot that I frequent conducting himself that way, he then kept asking for more water, but wanted his Sprite brought out with the meal and what's painstakingly bad with this whole ordeal, he asked ANY wait staff that walked by. I was constantly reminding him that he was to only ask the waiter for what he needed, and all eyes were on us since he was slouched down while sitting and talking very loudly UGH! Ok, I manage to eat and get the bill brought over, all the back and forth running he had people doing I'm sure he left just enough for the bill minus the tip. He then suggested a movie, I was thinking and real close to saying, "Are you serious, I guess you know some side door you expect us to slip into huh?" But instead I said it was late and I was tired and ready to go, he wanted me to drive and I did. I found my way home so quick, I never thought that with my limited time driving I would manage to make it. Boy o boy when I arrived to my house I was happier than a gay man going to jail! He went on to think there would be a kiss, I nicely informed him that I don't kiss a person until we have known each other for a while and are in a committed relationship. This clown said you are my girl now! I gave him dagger looks and said goodnight, I think you're a little delirious from lack of sleep and got the hell out the car, still wondering when that dwarf with the devil suit was going to rescue me. He continued to tell me goodnight and wanted to hug at least, by then I had literally ran inside the building and thanked God for my instant good at acting skills. I'M DONE!!!!!! I will continue on my road to not date I will reserve my precious time for the right one, and not the right now! Until my next adventure, or misadventure...........XOXO ........Toodles
Bumpity 
