What In The Hell Is Wrong With Men And Their Social Skills?

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GraceJones

Well-Known Member
I've had this experience several times. A guy will see you in public and just stare continuously. Not saying hello or anything.

Even in a social setting that is conducive to meeting people of the opposite sex (like a club) they are afraid!

One guy approached me (good looks, good body all the reason for him to be confident right?)

He says hello, we start talking, conversation gets a lil... awkward
Then he asks for my number and runs away. Not even a chance to flirt.

Then later on that night he texts and asks if he can come meet me. I'm like... um no it's 4 in the morning.

Next day he texts and asks if we could sleep together. But not only that, he asks if he could come to MY house so we can sleep together. How do you invite yourself to someone's house?

WHAT?

Even if I was into hookups, you haven't inspired me in the least. We didn't flirt, we didn't build any sort of sexual chemistry. No hand holding, hugging, kissing, NOTHING. And we're supposed to go from 0-60?
What kind of lazy behind mess? Just logically speaking why would I sleep with him rather than anyone else? What has set him apart? And this has happened to me on dates as well.



Does this actually work on some women? You just ask them to sleep with you and they'll be like "Well, okay. I'm not doing anything else."
 
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@GraceJones

I feel you. Just know you are not the only one dealing with this. And I agree with @barbiesocialite. We (generally speaking ) have made it easy for them.
 
No way. No ma'am. Not today. All this time I thought it was me and my awkwardness. Or that I was ugly. Or that I needed a better body. Or better make up skills. Or something.

I have to have something to work with. I can't create attraction by my damn self. It takes two.

My male friend and his gf went to the club with me. He said he would help me with getting numbers. When they got here he was like, "Ummm... all the men in here are scared. They're not talking to any women."


Imagine having sex with these men. It would probably be like watching paint dry. No chemistry, nothing.

It's like they want you to be the sexual aggressor. I'm talking to this guy on the phone from POF. We've been on a date before. I'm trying to work with him but damn...

He'll call me and have nothing to say! Like he expects me to lead the conversation. Most of the time I'll talk for about 5 min and be like, "Ok... gotta run now..."

Lots of mitchassedness
 
Elnahna said:
@GetHappy2014, sadly it's not just the Millennium age group. I'm 50 yrs old and these guys are doing the same stupid stuff.
Click to expand...
@Elnahna I am sure that is true. But millennials are less likely to have social skills because of the technological advancements i.e. texting instead of talking on the phone, video games thus no outside playtime thus no social skills... OP may have to date out of her age group, if she's interested. As for the 50 yr olds who are still behaving this way... They are a lost cause. They are simply the % of the population that will never get it. @Elnahna I think you may have to widen your dating area/pool... Because I usually date in the older age group and they are usually gentlemen. The problems I mostly face are those with no economic stability ( usually great jobs but bad spending and saving habits).
 
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Elnahna said:
@GetHappy2014, sadly it's not just the Millennium age group. I'm 50 yrs old and these guys are doing the same stupid stuff.
Click to expand...

Yeah my girlfriend sends me screenshots of similar texts from 40+ yr old men that she JUST met asking if they can come over her house at random hours out the blue. She is gorgeous so it has nothing to do with looks.
Its exactly what a pp said, women out here tolerating this BS which is making it so common.
 
I have been dealing with this as well (with the exception of the guy I'm seeing now who is a breath of fresh air) and my girls are dealing with the same thing. I'm not with the 'WYD' and 3 am texts. I actually dated a guy that first told me he loved me by text!!! Who does this?? We have made it easy for these men. Too much Netflix and chill before exclusivity.
 
My point in response to this entire thread is ... If you do not have a screening process in place... Of course you will get a little bit of everything coming your way. If a man desires sex and he can get it easily he is going to take advantage of the opportunity. Perfect example... A guy I recently dated I would consider a perfect gentleman he was extra extra careful not to even hint at sex. We spent great time together... Broadway plays, dinner, he spent a pretty penny on me and was always a gentleman, never pressured me for sex. So one day we were having a very open conversation ( I like to do that). I asked about his sexual escapades before me.... Cause I know he had some. He told about this stand- by/booty call that he could rely on. I asked did you ever take her out...etc, etc. His response was yeah... To the bar for a few drinks, occasionally. He stated that he thinks , she likes him. I asked why won't you have a relationship with her. He said because she's easy (using the nice word). As a side note: Of course, I asked if he used protection. So my point is... What separates me from her? Not to say this applies to any of you. But why would this guy treat me one way and the other woman differently? I am sure he is no angel but I never saw that side of him.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
My point in response to this entire thread is ... If you do not have a screening process in place... Of course you will get a little bit of everything coming your way. If a man desires sex and he can get it easily he is going to take advantage of the opportunity. Perfect example... A guy I recently dated I would consider a perfect gentleman he was extra extra careful not to even hint at sex. We spent great time together... Broadway plays, dinner, he spent a pretty penny on me and was always a gentleman, never pressured me for sex. So one day we were having a very open conversation ( I like to do that). I asked about his sexual escapades before me.... Cause I know he had some. He told about this stand- by/booty call that he could rely on. I asked did you ever take her out...etc, etc. His response was yeah... To the bar for a few drinks, occasionally. He stated that he thinks , she likes him. I asked why won't you have a relationship with her. He said because she's easy (using the nice word). As a side note: Of course, I asked if he used protection. So my point is... What separates me from her? Not to say this applies to any of you. But why would this guy treat me one way and the other woman differently? I am sure he is no angel but I never saw that side of him.
Click to expand...

Maybe she doesn't require anything of him
 
Guys approach who they want to approach and don't approach who they don't want to approach. It's that simple I think. They look at you (generally speaking) probably because they're attracted to you but they just don't want to go quite there relationship wise or maybe it's just sex. Which is fine I think. Just say no if you're not into that. That's why I don't pursue men, you're going to have to do the legwork throughout the entire relationship.

Plus men marry the "easy" girls, fast women etc. all the time. I don't think all of that computes. It's who they are looking for and click with enough.

Anyway to summarize, just because a man looks at you longer than 5 seconds and/or is nice to you means he wants a relationship :lol:

*Again the word you is being used generally
 
I would not take it personally. As already stated, older and younger men do it. Doesn't matter if you are beautiful or plain. Just block and move on to the next. Don't blame yourself. You are part of the problem if you continue to engage with them, entertain their foolishness etc. Otherwise it's on them. Block and keep moving forward. All men are not like this.
 
GraceJones said:
You wouldn't even know if they were like that until you spoke to them
Click to expand...
Precisely...
GetHappy2014 said:
My point in response to this entire thread is ... If you do not have a screening process in place... Of course you will get a little bit of everything coming your way. If a man desires sex and he can get it easily he is going to take advantage of the opportunity. Perfect example... A guy I recently dated I would consider a perfect gentleman he was extra extra careful not to even hint at sex. We spent great time together... Broadway plays, dinner, he spent a pretty penny on me and was always a gentleman, never pressured me for sex. So one day we were having a very open conversation ( I like to do that). I asked about his sexual escapades before me.... Cause I know he had some. He told about this stand- by/booty call that he could rely on. I asked did you ever take her out...etc, etc. His response was yeah... To the bar for a few drinks, occasionally. He stated that he thinks , she likes him. I asked why won't you have a relationship with her. He said because she's easy (using the nice word). As a side note: Of course, I asked if he used protection. So my point is... What separates me from her? Not to say this applies to any of you. But why would this guy treat me one way and the other woman differently? I am sure he is no angel but I never saw that side of him.
Click to expand...

so you are suggesting screening them before giving them your number?????? Lol
 
I met a guy a couple of years ago who hit me with the netflix and chill move wait....my fault, not netflix but bootleg DVDs. :lachen:
I wasn't really interested to begin with but if he was a 3, he went down to negative 69 real quick.
It was the first time that that happened to me and I was shocked. I thought he might have been crazy or something but seems like that's what these hos are doing?
I actually prefer a man come at me like that then pretend he's into more and waste my time....unless I get free food out of it I guess.

The last guy I was interviewing got calls from me from a blocked telephone number. I was too lazy to get a google number. A friend said that if he was the guy, he'd already know I wasn't interested. oh well...
 
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JunMom2Be said:
Precisely...


so you are suggesting screening them before giving them your number?????? Lol
Click to expand...

Absolutely. If a negro approaches you with a bad or a weak pick up line, and in some cases no line at all ..where he just asks for your number.... Politely tell him "no thank you". I am certainly not saying to cuss him out or dash his hopes and dreams, but if he put so little effort in trying to get to know you then he needs to move along. I have actually explained to guys who have asked, "why" (while at a club or wherever) the reason for my lack of interest is, because the way " you came at me." This would be a conversation with humor. (These were my younger, club, college days). Back to OP's story... That guy should not have received her number.
Of course this limits the number of potential guys/dates but it screens out the ones who just wants some.... And there will be a few that slip pass your screening process but not many.
 
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