What In The Hell Is Wrong With Men And Their Social Skills?

GetHappy2014 said:
Absolutely. If a negro approaches you with a bad or a weak pick up line, and in some cases no line at all ..where he just asks for your number.... Politely tell him "no thank you". I am certainly not saying to cuss him out or dash his hopes and dreams, but if he put so little effort in trying to get to know you then he needs to move along. I have actually explained to guys who have asked, "why" (while at a club or wherever) the reason for my lack of interest is, because the way " you came at me." This would be a conversation with humor. (These were my younger, club, college days). Back to OP's story... That guy should not have received her number.
Of course this limits the number of potential guys/dates but it screens out the ones who just wants some.... And there will be a few that slip pass your screening process but not many.
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Eh. I'm still learning. Nobody ever died giving out a number. No skin off my back. All I wasted was a few moments texting.
 
You should have never given that fool your phone number. Like you stated, he did nothing to earn it.

And these men aren't scared. If anything, over confidence is the problem. The market is over saturated with easy sex and they are lazy, smug, entitled, and expect maximum reward for little to no exertion of effort on their parts.
 
GraceJones said:
Eh. I'm still learning. Nobody ever died giving out a number. No skin off my back. All I wasted was a few moments texting.
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Right it is so easy to block someone. When you are out and about, only so much "screening" can be done. Eventually, you have to have time to talk to the person in person or on the phone.
Didn't MDLWLY even suggest this? Make a goal to get "2" numbers a week and use these men to practice dating, block them if they don't measure up and move on to the next... I read that part but not in depth however that was the general gist of it.

I don't think giving everyone your number makes sense but if a man looks attractive, dressed decently, speaks articulately and there was some sort of chemistry during our short engagement... I will pass him my number. If he can't set up to take me on a date, OUTSIDE of our respective houses, then I block him because I am wasting my time.
 
And side note- my opinion, men aren't looking for relationships. Most are trying to see how much they can get out of a woman with minimal effort.
They end up wanting relationships when they either realize she is different and they don't want anyone else to have her/take her away or they realize their will not have access to/restricted access from her cookies. Our goal should be to make it the former.

Nowadays it is so easy. Who is there to teach these men to take a woman on a date? Show them how to buy flowers and treat her? Most of them are growing up without emotionally involved fathers. Speaking to different males I know- their purpose when meeting a woman is to f@ck. That is literally the advice they give one another - tap that, get them draws, etc. So if she is sexing without requiring anything, then that just made his job even easier. Whisper a few words in her ear and get the panties. Move on to the next.

Men who have their i$h together know they are in demand so they may wine and dine a woman til they get bored, then find a new woman to play with.

This is why I advocate using them- they are doing the same to us. And maybe that is "bad" advice but two major changes need to be made by each sex for us to be set in the right direction and I don't see that happening.

I will give a man I am attracted to and checks most of my boxes an honest chance. I may even "guide" him just incase he wasn't taught. If he is asking for sex too early or does something else to break my attraction, then I just block. Not a big deal at all. Most men don't do the female test to see if they been blocked- which speaks on their level of effort and reaffirms the decision.
 
GraceJones said:
Eh. I'm still learning. Nobody ever died giving out a number. No skin off my back. All I wasted was a few moments texting.
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My dear, you are good. I am sure I am older than you so I have more experience in this area. I am certainly not judging you. I am offering what I have learned over the years. You live and you learn.
:bighug:
 
GetHappy2014 said:
My dear, you are good. I am sure I am older than you so I have more experience in this area. I am certainly not judging you. I am offering what I have learned over the years. You live and you learn.
:bighug:
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No harm, no foul. Getting this advice is good! Next time I won't even bother.

I've never gotten numbers in a club before so I was just testing it out. An experiment of sorts lol
 
LiftedUp said:
Guys approach who they want to approach and don't approach who they don't want to approach. It's that simple I think. They look at you (generally speaking) probably because they're attracted to you but they just don't want to go quite there relationship wise or maybe it's just sex. Which is fine I think. Just say no if you're not into that. That's why I don't pursue men, you're going to have to do the legwork throughout the entire relationship.

Plus men marry the "easy" girls, fast women etc. all the time. I don't think all of that computes. It's who they are looking for and click with enough.

Anyway to summarize, just because a man looks at you longer than 5 seconds and/or is nice to you means he wants a relationship :lol:

*Again the word you is being used generally
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I wholeheartedly agree with this post. The most I'll do is position myself and if he doesn't approach, I know it's for the best - either he's not that interested, attached or doesn't have any balls lol. Either way not my cup of tea. Men will stare all day long with no real intention behind it.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
Absolutely. If a negro approaches you with a bad or a weak pick up line, and in some cases no line at all ..where he just asks for your number....
Of course this limits the number of potential guys/dates but it screens out the ones who just wants some.... And there will be a few that slip pass your screening process but not many.
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THIS!!!!

Give the dude a riddle to solve or something. At the very least, he has to make you laugh before giving him your number.
 
GraceJones said:
Eh. I'm still learning. Nobody ever died giving out a number. No skin off my back. All I wasted was a few moments texting.
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I agree with you. DH approached me with one of the worst lines in the history of man kind. I was so mad and walked away without giving him my number. Through chance and circumstances, we met again and he had regained his senses.
Poor guy was just awkward and not a natural smooth talker. Not all nice guys have perfect pickup lines.

Give your number to whoever you feel like. If they turn out to not be worth it, just delete and/or block them. No big deal.
 
Most men test the waters when it comes to meeting new women. They wanna get as much sex as possible with the least amount of effort. It's human nature. A lot of women are making it super easy for men nowadays because they think that's the way to get and keep male attention. They need that validation.

Our culture of promiscuity basically preaches that. We should all aspire to be like Samantha from sex and the city or the main character from Trainwreck. :rolleyes: If you ain't like that then you're a prude, boring, uncool, frigid, sexually repressed and a cat lady in the making. :rolleyes: If you're down for that cool. No judgement.

The only cure for that is to have standards. After all people only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. Also have a rotation. That way when one of them shows their a** you'll have no qualms whatsoever about blocking that fool. You betta put some respek on mah name! :lol:
 
Men are rarely over confident around me and that's the way I like to keep it lol. Male nervousness tells me my energy is just right. I've never had this crap. Not in my younger years and not now. Whores will compliment me, talk respectfully.. then leave me alone.

Also if a man didn't have to do anything remotely special to get your number then he's going to think there is a possibility he doesn't have to do anything remotely special to get get invited to the house or have a bit of physical contact. Not saying this is decent male behaviour, JMO some guys think like this. Don't give details to guys that start off on a lazy note. Its a sign they don't see how amazing you are and often a sign they are not serious about life.
 
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Yeah. I must be from a different time. When I was in the club, I made a man work and rarely gave a number. A man who got the digits usually had to be on his game that night-witty, flirty, sexy moves, decent conversation, etc. There had to be some sort of chemistry before I even considered continuing our conversation. A man with no game/sex appeal would be immediately abandoned on the dance floor, lol.
 
Women need to be more careful about who they give their number too. My daughter had to learn the hard way and has changed her number SEVERAL times in the span of a year. I had female cousin who was threatened and stalked because she entertained an undercover loony bin. He threatened her life when she rejected him...and sadly she met him at the bus stop where she boards for WORK. So she was scared to go to work every day. The hell he put her through before he finally left her alone...smh

My male cousin is one of these dudes y'all are talking about tho. He tells me he has never tried to talk to a woman a day in his life...and never would. He lets women approach him. He's currently happily in a relationship now. But when he was out there...he was definitely the one waiting to be chased. He would see a "bad chick" and watch her all day long every day...but if she doesn't say anything to him...he will happily fantasize until the next one takes his attention. smh.
 
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ChasingBliss said:
Women need to be more careful about who they give their number too. My daughter had to learn the hard way and has changed her number SEVERAL times in the span of a year. I had female cousin who was threatened and stalked because she entertained an undercover loony bin. He threatened her life when she rejected him...and sadly she met him at the bus stop where she boards for WORK. So she was scared to go to work every day. The hell he put her through before he finally left her alone...smh

My male cousin is one of these dudes y'all are talking about tho. He tells me he has never tried to talk to a woman a day in his life...and never would. He lets women approach him. He's currently happily in a relationship now. But when he was out there...he was definitely the one waiting to be chased. He would see a "bad chick" and watch her all day long every day...but if she doesn't say anything to him...he will happily fantasize until the next one takes his attention. smh.
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I have a Google Voice number I give strangers
 
weaveadiva said:
Please share :lol: I promise I won't tell anyone :grin:
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Lol...well it might not sound so bad but I was repulsed by his approach. That is how much it was unimpressive to me.

We were at a Christmas party and I was talking to my close friend's husband. Some random man was standing a few feet away from us and I didn't really notice him. He took a few steps closer and said to my friend's husband (making sure I could hear him), "who is this temptation you are talking to?" :rolleyes:
We both ignored him and continued talking. He then leaned in closer to my friend and repeated himself even louder. My friend's husband chuckled awkwardly because he could tell I didn't want to be bothered and probably felt embarrassed for him too:laugh:
I thought that was so pathetic and I was extremely annoyed I just walked away. I made sure and succeeded to stay away from him the whole night because I thought he was so weird.

DH is on the shy side and has since explained to me that he would have not said anything if he hadn't had a couple of drinks. I like it when people ask us how we met because he gets embarrassed when I tell the story of our first meeting. Even he knows that was lame :giggle:
 
How does a man "earn" you number though? Yesterday, for example, man asked me for my number. He was tall, handsome and works at a well respected company. If I were single I would've given it to him when he did nothing really other than look like a good prospect.
 
LiftedUp said:
How does a man "earn" you number though? Yesterday, for example, man asked me for my number. He was tall, handsome and works at a well respected company. If I were single I would've given it to him when he did nothing really other than look like a good prospect.
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I really don't know. I guess those that insist all men have to earn your number can answer. I have been in that situation several times before. If I was running in and out of the bank or store and met a cute guy asking for my number I would give it to him. I didn't have time to hang around so he could 'earn'. After that, however things proceeded would determine if he deserved any of my time.
Being stalked is the exception. Most of the time simply blocking or deleting time wasters worked.
 
LiftedUp said:
How does a man "earn" you number though? Yesterday, for example, man asked me for my number. He was tall, handsome and works at a well respected company. If I were single I would've given it to him when he did nothing really other than look like a good prospect.
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In most of the situations I've been in, it's not so much as being able to tell when a man has earned my number, but being able to tell right away that he belongs in the "definitely not" category. Two examples:

1.) Christmas Eve, I was stopping at a liquor store for a party. Since I was just running in and out the store I left my coat in the car. So I get out the car and this guy in the car next to me blows his horn to try to get my attention. He rolls down his window (doesn't even get out the car) and tries asking me for my number. While I'm standing outside with no coat, in a short-sleeved dress, in December, at night, in New York. Plus he was twice my age and dressed like a pimp/reverend hybrid. Just... no.

2.) I went to meet my boyfriend at his job the other day and was having a drink at the bar while he finished up (he's a server). Some guy sitting at the bar tried to talk to me, and I told him that I was there to wait for my boyfriend who worked at the restaurant. His response: "So I can't even get your number? How serious is it?" Dude, really?

Barring any obviously "absolutely not" indicators, I used to not mind giving out my number. It's really simple to just block/delete anyone who I didn't want to be bothered with.

Side note: What is it with Jamaican men? I swear that all of my worst "Are you absolutely kidding me right now?" stories all involve Jamaican men.
 
sarumoki said:
In most of the situations I've been in, it's not so much as being able to tell when a man has earned my number, but being able to tell right away that he belongs in the "definitely not" category. Two examples:

1.) Christmas Eve, I was stopping at a liquor store for a party. Since I was just running in and out the store I left my coat in the car. So I get out the car and this guy in the car next to me blows his horn to try to get my attention. He rolls down his window (doesn't even get out the car) and tries asking me for my number. While I'm standing outside with no coat, in a short-sleeved dress, in December, at night, in New York. Plus he was twice my age and dressed like a pimp/reverend hybrid. Just... no.

2.) I went to meet my boyfriend at his job the other day and was having a drink at the bar while he finished up (he's a server). Some guy sitting at the bar tried to talk to me, and I told him that I was there to wait for my boyfriend who worked at the restaurant. His response: "So I can't even get your number? How serious is it?" Dude, really?

Barring any obviously "absolutely not" indicators, I used to not mind giving out my number. It's really simple to just block/delete anyone who I didn't want to be bothered with.

Side note: What is it with Jamaican men? I swear that all of my worst "Are you absolutely kidding me right now?" stories all involve Jamaican men.
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If the man I described in my earlier post was unattractive, I could've been approached in the same manner but wouldn't even consider giving him my number lol. No "earning" took place.

Also I know awesome jamaican men :lol:
 
sarumoki said:
In most of the situations I've been in, it's not so much as being able to tell when a man has earned my number, but being able to tell right away that he belongs in the "definitely not" category. Two examples:

1.) Christmas Eve, I was stopping at a liquor store for a party. Since I was just running in and out the store I left my coat in the car. So I get out the car and this guy in the car next to me blows his horn to try to get my attention. He rolls down his window (doesn't even get out the car) and tries asking me for my number. While I'm standing outside with no coat, in a short-sleeved dress, in December, at night, in New York. Plus he was twice my age and dressed like a pimp/reverend hybrid. Just... no.

2.) I went to meet my boyfriend at his job the other day and was having a drink at the bar while he finished up (he's a server). Some guy sitting at the bar tried to talk to me, and I told him that I was there to wait for my boyfriend who worked at the restaurant. His response: "So I can't even get your number? How serious is it?" Dude, really?

Barring any obviously "absolutely not" indicators, I used to not mind giving out my number. It's really simple to just block/delete anyone who I didn't want to be bothered with.

Side note: What is it with Jamaican men? I swear that all of my worst "Are you absolutely kidding me right now?" stories all involve Jamaican men.
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Don't even get me started on Jamaican men. Someone please post that Usain Bolt thread
 
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