What crosses the line for you in an argument?

[cookiemonster287]

Yelling or raising voices.....usually whenever someone does that I just walk away.
I can't take it for some reason.

 

[newnyer]

What did you say? Also, if someone is offended you can't tell them not to be offended. You have to look at it in their point of view. I say and I may get stoned for this but, talk to him again see why he got offended, look at it from his point of view and unless it was something so egregious, I would apologize and let him know I didnt mean to offend you.

I agree with you totally on this. Just from this board we see that everybody's triggers are different, so what offends someone else may not necessarily seem like a big deal to you or vice versus. In my mind if the person explains that are offended by something & you respect them as a person, you should just take it for what it is & try to see their side.

ETA: UNLESS you were intentionally trying to offend them. LOL...then that's a whole other story.

 

[briacait]

Yelling at me, name calling are definite deal breakers for me. I don't like people who walk away either. I dated a guy once who always wanted to leave whenever things got too unpleasant. I think we should be able to talk and reason like adults without someone physically leaving the premises. It doesn't address the real issues. Also, I think it's very disrespectful to hang up on someone. I don't know why, but hanging up on me just enrages me.

 

[Evolving78]

Not judging at all, but I'm really surprised to see folks say "shut up" is a deal-breaker.

not a deal breaker, but they take it to another level with me. but i am trying to get to a place of not letting someone knock me off of my square, to where i have to start hitting below the belt, or getting nasty along with them.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

If I get the sense that my SO is just trying to win or be right, I'll back away from the relationship. If he can't fight fair, a relationship is not going to work.

As for "shut up" being a deal breaker, it's not the word so much as the level of disrespect it shows. I'm not someone who yells a lot or is always in someone's face or interrupts when someone's talking to me. Hence there is no reason for anyone, let alone my SO/DH to say that to me. All the times I've heard my parents argue, I've never heard my father tell my mother to shut up. And she is the type who'll go on and on.

 

[MD_Lady]

Not judging at all, but I'm really surprised to see folks say "shut up" is a deal-breaker.

It's not a deal-breaker for me, but it does remove every desire I might have had to give a rats rear about not hurting his feelings.

 

[Kindheart]

Yelling and complete silence ,no eye contact or even worse a smirk and sarcasm .

 

[sweetvi]

I'm with you on this one.
I've been there with someone I used to "deal" with. That was the last time I spoke to him.
I was so scared that I cried long after I was out of the car. Oh and he was speeding while yelling because I asked him for the money he owes me.
SMH.

Fine 4s

I should of left then and there as well but it turned into me not being confrontational and walking on egg shells to Avoid that outburst in the future (which happened anyway btw). Plus he was 6'2 and muscular so you could imagine