What crosses the line for you in an argument?

newnyer

newnyer

Well-Known Member
So my friend has been off & on in a relationship with this man for many years. They can never seem to get on one page & she has felt isolated from him for awhile so decides to talk to him about it. As the conversation goes on, she starts getting frustrated with his nonchalant attitude about her feelings & starts getting angrier in the process. He finally deads the conversation for awhile..all the while she is still feeling like things are unresolved. Well, at the end of the night, he starts trying to get playful w/ her and she's not having it...& brings the subject back up. He straight up tells her to shut up. She leaves. The next day, he apologizes, but then in the same breath tries to justify telling her to shut up because he says,"You were just frustrating me & I couldn't hear the same thing over & over anymore." So to ME, that makes the apology completely insincere.

Anyway, as she was telling me this I kept thinking to myself, MAN, if my SO ever told me to shut up i'd see it as the ultimate sign of disrespect & bounce! But then again...maybe I'm too sensitive and/or unforgiving? What lines can't be crossed in an argument for you?
 
Deuces on a "shut up" too. I would actually have to control myself physically. That's a dealbreaker in so many wayss.
 
^^^Good read...I'll be sure to pass it on. DarkJoy I'm glad I'm not the only one! I wanted to snatch him up myself & I was just listening to her story!! LOL Couldn't be me. :)
 
Name calling in an argument is a deal-breaker for me. We fight "fair", so there's not 'Bs" "MFs" or anything like that thrown around. It's just hurtful and distracting from the actual matter at hand.
 
I immediately end it all if someone cusses at me. It actually recently happened with someone I was talking to online. My ears just can't tolerate it. It shows lack of self-control and class.
 
name calling will get the phone hung up or me walking away....cussing and yelling will have me say who are you talking to? and might get a hung up or walk away.
 
I've never been the yelling type. When voices start getting raised I either get so emotional I can't speak or I lose focus on the matter @ hand. LOL. So if I had an SO that decided to yell at me i'd walk away.
 
Name calling........and if you're calling something I did ____ then yes you're calling ME that so don't try me
 
I try to watch my tone as much as my words when I argue, but telling me to "shut up" would INSTANTLY throw all of that out the window.
 
YELLING. Nothing is more scarier than when your in the car with your significant other and he is YELLING Over you and scares you into silence. (True Story)
 
LMAO ThatJerseyGirl!! I feel that! Never had someone put their hands in my face, especially an SO....whew chile I don't know HOW I would react!! :)
So to the ones that have encountered their deal breakers in an argument...how did you react?? Did you walk away? Wait for an apology? Just give it time & just forgive/forget?
 
MzLady78 it really is for me. It's like the ultimate in disrespect. I grew up with my dad always saying it towards my mom. Degradation of anything she had to say.

I got history and baggage around it. So yea, dealbreaker...
 
If I ever called DH "out his name" or I did something disrespectful I would have to leave - for good.

I don't believe in the concept of apologies.

I believe what you said the first time is what you mean. I don't believe in mouth filter retractions.

Once you say it, you meant it, you may just be "sorry" YOU got served or it came to light or may feel some type of way about hurting someone's feelings, but you are not sorry.

Sure I say I am sorry, and more than often it is an *** coverer. There are situations we need *** covering lest we be without a job or incarcerated.

I don't believe in make-up sex, 'break up to makeup' or gifting. **** your money. Once I feel you have crossed the line, there is no amount of material to make up for it.

IF you believe in God anyway, God is a Spirit, you can't expect the child of a Spirit to accept something tangible of this world as 'okay'

Ironically, this point of view, has probably made me one of the fairest people out there, if I do say so myself. Everyone is on an even plane.

But I only bend over backwards for DH, no one else. I can be quite *****y and with the countenance of a baby, you would never even know it.

LOL. In answering this question, was it supposed to make sense? Love doesn't make sense, so...that is my answer. and probably why DH and I are happy as punch. ;-)
 
pearcey said:
If I ever called DH "out his name" or I did something disrespectful I would have to leave - for good.

I don't believe in the concept of apologies.

I believe what you said the first time is what you mean. I don't believe in mouth filter retractions.

Once you say it, you meant it, you may just be "sorry" YOU got served or it came to light or may feel some type of way about hurting someone's feelings, but you are not sorry.

Sure I say I am sorry, and more than often it is an *** coverer. There are situations we need *** covering lest we be without a job or incarcerated.

I don't believe in make-up sex, 'break up to makeup' or gifting. **** your money. Once I feel you have crossed the line, there is no amount of material to make up for it.

IF you believe in God anyway, God is a Spirit, you can't expect the child of a Spirit to accept something tangible of this world as 'okay'

Ironically, this point of view, has probably made me one of the fairest people out there, if I do say so myself. Everyone is on an even plane.

But I only bend over backwards for DH, no one else. I can be quite *****y and with the countenance of a baby, you would never even know it.

LOL. In answering this question, was it supposed to make sense? Love doesn't make sense, so...that is my answer. and probably why DH and I are happy as punch. ;-)
Click to expand...
I am the SAME way...If you said it you meant it. Saying you are sorry, will not take away any hurt feelings.
 
sweetvi said:
YELLING. Nothing is more scarier than when your in the car with your significant other and he is YELLING Over you and scares you into silence. (True Story)
Click to expand...

I'm with you on this one.
I've been there with someone I used to "deal" with. That was the last time I spoke to him.
I was so scared that I cried long after I was out of the car. Oh and he was speeding while yelling because I asked him for the money he owes me.
SMH.
 
saying "Whatever", while I can respond calmly now, would have gotten you introduced to my wrath back in the day.

Such a slap in the face after expressing your feeling, for someone to dismiss them.
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
saying "Whatever", while I can respond calmly now, would have gotten you introduced to my wrath back in the day.

Such a slap in the face after expressing your feeling, for someone to dismiss them.
Click to expand...

Ooooh that urks me too! SO dismissive. Not sure if that's a deal breaker for me though...but it will definitely prolong my anger. LOL
 
we tell each other to shut up all the time. actually its usually shut the **** up lol. i dont think we've ever said it srsly though. at least he hasnt. :look:
 
I have a different situation. My bf or friend accused me of namecalling but I didn't think it was namecalling. So, she is basically not speaking ot me. Which I am actually happy about oddly but anyways... What do you do when someone gets mad at you and you don't see why they would take offense?
 
Mena said:
I have a different situation. My bf or friend accused me of namecalling but I didn't think it was namecalling. So, she is basically not speaking ot me. Which I am actually happy about oddly but anyways... What do you do when someone gets mad at you and you don't see why they would take offense?
Click to expand...
What did you say? Also, if someone is offended you can't tell them not to be offended. You have to look at it in their point of view. I say and I may get stoned for this but, talk to him again see why he got offended, look at it from his point of view and unless it was something so egregious, I would apologize and let him know I didnt mean to offend you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

G
The Argument Of Child Support
2 3
Replies
79
Views
2K
Evolving78
E
TinyBlu
Don't Ask Me If You Don't Want to Know! (Vent)
Replies
7
Views
243
lesedi
lesedi
B
SO is touchy feely......
Replies
14
Views
398
bluediamond0829
B
mallysmommy
  • Poll Poll
*Sigh* what would you do?
2 3
Replies
63
Views
2K
hopeful
hopeful
F
What should HE do??
Replies
28
Views
619
mlj
M
Back
Top