What Are Hypothetical Questions To Ask Future Husband?

PrissiSippi

PrissiSippi

Simply Komplex
I saw this one one of the Instagram people I follow but I can’t remember where. Plus they only gave two examples. What are some hypothetical questions to uncover a person’s character?

For instance, if I were to ask you do you have bisexual tendencies, a man would say heck no. But later on you could find out something like he has thought of the idea before, or if the price was right xyz. So this post suggested we should properly vet men by asking hypothetical questions on dates.

Example one

This straight guy I know he was called for duty inAfghanistan with all men. He said that a guy over there told him he would pay him $500 to let him color but only orally . Would you have done it?

Example two

My friend Brit asked her boyfriend to give up his dog if they were going to live together, because she was allergic to them. Do you think that was overbearing?

Example three

My friend's husband wants more children, but the girl is saying that two is enough and she just can't go through having any more kids because the responsibility falls on her. What advice should I give her?
 
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awhyley said:
I recall that there was a similar thread on here last year. I'll take a look and see if I can find it.

(eta: Correction, it was two years ago.)
Link: https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/questions-to-ask-and-consider-of-a-potential-husband.819935/
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well I'm coming from the point of hypothetical questions.

You can't ask a man....so what do you think of marriage. They will lie. They will say they have always desired to have a family and they are seeking marriage...but in actuality they're really looking to smash.

Hypothetical questions get you to see how they think by taking the focus off of them and asking it from a "my friends said" point of view.

You get me?

For example in the other thread they might say so what is your religion. They're just going to lie and tell you what you want to hear.

Instead you could say, Yeah I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that she couldn't marry this guy despite him being PERFECT because he was Catholic and she was Baptist. What do you think about that?
 
whoopsy, I messed up too.

Here's the hypothetical, which is a version of a rabbinical midrash:

If he and the love of his life (or best friend) are crossing the desert and the other person has brought enough water to survive the trip and he didn't bring any water, what does he expect the love of his life (or best friend) to do with their water?
 
This is a great question, especially if you're young, cause people change so much. I was a completely different person when I got married a million years ago. My husband has changed a lot too, but not as much (I guess cause he's older than me). Bottom line is there has to be some flexibility to allow for these changes, but I still wish I had asked some of these myself, cause as OP said, MEN LIE.

I'd definitely make up questions asking how would one switching religious or political views would affect the relationship in the future. Same with changing your mind on having children (or the number of children to have), frequency of sex and issues with the in-laws. Questions about finances and jobs are super important as well.

Something like:
  • So and so's husband just told her he's an Atheist now (or converted to whatever religion, or switched political parties), and she's freaking out. What do you think? Should they break up over this?
  • My new coworker just found out that she's pregnant and her husband wants her to quit her job to stay at home with the baby, and I don't know what to tell her :look: Do you think she should quit all together or just continue working at least part time?
  • One of my friends won't stop complaining about her sex life. Apparently she only has sex with her husband once a week/month/whatever. Everyone's different, but in your opinion, what's the bare minimum amount of sex that's acceptable for a married couple to have?
  • After 5 years of marriage, my friend decided she no longer wants to have children, her husband would love to have a child or two. Do you think this is a deal breaker?
  • My friend is upset her mother in law criticizes her every chance she gets, and her hubby refuses to say anything. What advice should I give her?
 
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PrissiSippi said:
well I'm coming from the point of hypothetical questions.

You can't ask a man....so what do you think of marriage. They will lie. They will say they have always desired to have a family and they are seeking marriage...but in actuality they're really looking to smash.

Hypothetical questions get you to see how they think by taking the focus off of them and asking it from a "my friends said" point of view.

You get me?

For example in the other thread they might say so what is your religion. They're just going to lie and tell you what you want to hear.

Instead you could say, Yeah I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that she couldn't marry this guy despite him being PERFECT because he was Catholic and she was Baptist. What do you think about that?
Click to expand...

While I get what you're going for, men aren't stupid. They can lie just as well to a hypothetical as they can to a direct question. In the end, words are words, you gotta look out for the aligning actions
 
Petal26 said:
This is a great question, especially if you're young, cause people change so much. I was a completely different person when I got married a million years ago. My husband has changed a lot too, but not as much (I guess cause he's older than me). Bottom line is there has to be some flexibility to allow for these changes, but I still wish I had asked some of these myself, cause as OP said, MEN LIE.

I'd definitely make up questions asking how would one switching religious or political views would affect the relationship in the future. Same with changing your mind on having children (or the number of children to have), frequency of sex and issues with the in-laws. Questions about finances and jobs are super important as well.

Something like:
  • So and so's husband just told her he's an Atheist now (or converted to whatever religion, or switched political parties), and she's freaking out. What do you think? Should they break up over this?
  • My new coworker just found out that she's pregnant and her husband wants her to quit her job to stay at home with the baby, and I don't know what to tell her :look: Do you think she should quit all together or just continue working at least part time?
  • One of my friends won't stop complaining about her sex life. Apparently she only has sex with her husband once a week/month/whatever. Everyone's different, but in your opinion, what's the bare minimum amount of sex that's acceptable for a married couple to have?
  • After 5 years of marriage, my friend decided she no longer wants to have children, her husband would love to have a child or two. Do you think this is a deal breaker?
  • My friend is upset her mother in law criticizes her every chance she gets, and her hubby refuses to say anything. What advice should I give her?
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You came in with the truth! I like ALL of these especially the bolded! Thank you sooo much
 
I witnessed a real life scenario that I now use as a hypothetical:

A girl and guy briefly date while they were in high school. They go their separate ways, 10 years later the guy meets the girl's younger sister in a different setting. Guy and younger sister start to date, older sister is mad. Younger sister says get over it, yall weren't even serious. Who is wrong here?
 
Browndilocks said:
I witnessed a real life scenario that I now use as a hypothetical:

A girl and guy briefly date while they were in high school. They go their separate ways, 10 years later the guy meets the girl's younger sister in a different setting. Guy and younger sister start to date, older sister is mad. Younger sister says get over it, yall weren't even serious. Who is wrong here?
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Hmmm what would one look out for in this kind of situation
 
PrissiSippi said:
Hmmm what would one look out for in this kind of situation
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It's a judge of character and ownership. The guy who ultimately became my boyfriend after hearing this scenario answered "What kind of guy would come between two sisters?"

I sometimes use this question to gauge whether a guy can take responsibility or if he blames everything on others.
 
Browndilocks said:
It's a judge of character and ownership. The guy who ultimately became my boyfriend after hearing this scenario answered "What kind of guy would come between two sisters?"

I sometimes use this question to gauge whether a guy can take responsibility or if he blames everything on others.
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I like that. I never thought of vetting if he takes responsibility vs blames others
 
I feel like my neighbors may be abusing their child. Do you think I need to mind my business or call the police? (I could see this one backfiring on you but I kinda would want to see if how he feels on abuse and how he would react)

We're making this advice book for my cousin that's about to graduate from high school. I don't know what in the world to write. What do you think I should write?

The example from the original post: I was watching this tv show and this woman was dating a man for about 3-4 months. She ended up getting pregnant by him. He didn't want to keep the baby. She said she couldn't go through with the abortion and had the child anyway. Do you think she was wrong for having the baby and putting him on child support?
 
ladysaraii said:
While I get what you're going for, men aren't stupid. They can lie just as well to a hypothetical as they can to a direct question. In the end, words are words, you gotta look out for the aligning actions
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I kinda felt like this.

Crackers Phinn said:
People are good at telling on themselves though. It might could work.
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And a little of this. Lol.

Like the idiots will tell on themselves and the perfect wolf in sheep's clothing would answer these with flying colors.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Dang how did it end up playing out?
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Honestly I thought my friend was wrong and I was trying to convince her to stop talking to the guy but she wasn't hearing me. Their mom was mad at her too. It put a strain on her relationship with both the mom and the older sister. She eventually stopped talking to the guy but the damage was already done.

I admit that I didn't even think to look at the guy sideways until I mentioned it to my SO and he commented the way he did. I low key had to check myself too.
 
oneastrocurlie said:
I kinda felt like this.



And a little of this. Lol.

Like the idiots will tell on themselves and the perfect wolf in sheep's clothing would answer these with flying colors.
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I get that. But you're not asking these questions off a script. And of course actions speak louder than words. BUT you slip these questions (only one or two) in randomly while talking, cuddling, spending time, or whatever. Of course some will be slick and see this coming, but for some....they fail with flying colors.

I just told a guy that I would love to go out on a date with him. He told me he wanted ME to plan it. I told him it feels good to let the man handle logistics when it comes to dating so he knew what I really wanted and homeboy still didn't get the hint and told me how he really felt. He told me he would never take away my opportunity to lead because women have great ideas and thoughts and he loves being led by a strong woman. Boy bye.
 
Browndilocks said:
Honestly I thought my friend was wrong and I was trying to convince her to stop talking to the guy but she wasn't hearing me. Their mom was mad at her too. It put a strain on her relationship with both the mom and the older sister. She eventually stopped talking to the guy but the damage was already done.

I admit that I didn't even think to look at the guy sideways until I mentioned it to my SO and he commented the way he did. I low key had to check myself too.
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Until you wrote the man was in the wrong I was looking at the GIRL sideways. I must admit when you said the piece about the guy taking responsibility my mind was blown. It really made me think too.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Until you wrote the man was in the wrong I was looking at the GIRL sideways. I must admit when you said the piece about the guy taking responsibility my mind was blown. It really made me think too.
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Ditto. I was wondering what the older sister's problem was; if she still had feelings for the man, then that's her problem. But if the man just stays there while the family relationship fractures, there's something wrong with that too.
 
awhyley said:
Ditto. I was wondering what the older sister's problem was; if she still had feelings for the man, then that's her problem. But if the man just stays there while the family relationship fractures, there's something wrong with that too.
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Honesstly..... as an older sister, that wouldn’t bother me, unless my sister was the cause of the breakup.

If they met a few years after the fact and hit it off and it’s serious and the guy is decent, then why not?

Personally, once a rlsp is done it’s done.
 
Questions like these are why I LOVE movies for an early (1-3) date. Even in the most innocuous romantic comedy, you can unearth wildly conflicting world views. And just in discussing the movie, the questions/conversation can be extremely lighthearted.
I am not about that detective life, so I take people at their word. A lie is rather quickly unearthed if you associate it with a person’s values and can’t match it up to similar scenarios in other areas of their life.
For instance, I went to see Deadpool with a dude and he didn’t even notice that the love interest was a prostitute. And after some discussion, I low key unearthed some major colorism and super antiquated attitudes about sex.
I also saw If Beale Street Could Talk with a dude and that unearthed his high key attitudes about struggle love— which is bad enough in itself, but his attitude was worse because it was unreciprocated and he took it for granted that women are essentially the mule of any relationship.o_O
I’d say any movie or TV show discussion can give value and personality insights a lot more subversively than any direct question. I can’t overstate how many lazy, borderline sociopathic nihilists The Walking Dead has outed and helped me to avoid. Your poker face has to be on point if you’re going to use this method.
 
Ms. Tarabotti said:
He might wonder why you know so many people with problems. :D

Do you mind if he asks you the same type of questions?
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I would be very vague and change the topic. You use feminine mystique.

Man: I think she should pay half on daycare. What do you think?

Me: "Oh I think people have to do what' best for them. I don't know all the details. People have to do what's best for their individual situation."

But yall know I don't believe in that 50/50 life. *shrugs*
 
kxlot79 said:
Questions like these are why I LOVE movies for an early (1-3) date. Even in the most innocuous romantic comedy, you can unearth wildly conflicting world views. And just in discussing the movie, the questions/conversation can be extremely lighthearted.
I am not about that detective life, so I take people at their word. A lie is rather quickly unearthed if you associate it with a person’s values and can’t match it up to similar scenarios in other areas of their life.
For instance, I went to see Deadpool with a dude and he didn’t even notice that the love interest was a prostitute. And after some discussion, I low key unearthed some major colorism and super antiquated attitudes about sex.
I also saw If Beale Street Could Talk with a dude and that unearthed his high key attitudes about struggle love— which is bad enough in itself, but his attitude was worse because it was unreciprocated and he took it for granted that women are essentially the mule of any relationship.o_O
I’d say any movie or TV show discussion can give value and personality insights a lot more subversively than any direct question. I can’t overstate how many lazy, borderline sociopathic nihilists The Walking Dead has outed and helped me to avoid. Your poker face has to be on point if you’re going to use this method.
Click to expand...
What would you questions be for Deadpool, Walking Dead, or If Beale Street Could Talk
 
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