Wanting to help my friend.. Her CHILD SUPPORT dilemna

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PeanutButterandHoney

New Member
Okay, so one of my close friends have been married for 4 years.
They have TOGETHER: a 4 yr old, a 7.5 month old and one on the way.
He has an 8 yr old from HIS previous relationship.

So, up until 4 years ago he was a student.
Then, he had a job and in the last 2 years he got laid off.
So, he went 2 years being unemployed (willfull unemployment in my opinion)
He works now, just part time...:perplexed
Apparent his baby momma (sorry if this offended anyone) got smart after seeing that dude and his wife (my friend) were spitting out babies back and front and realized after his 2 years of unemployment and 2 new additions, her child started suffering.
After some words from Baby Momma and Husband, she put him on Child support last year secretly.

Now, he owes like 6 G's in back support.
My friend claims he didn't know that he was in default and now they have garnished BOTH of their wages.

Obviously, my friend and her guy are struggling (they both work part time, she is pregnant and their fam is growing)

She wants to know what can she do to not have them garnish her wages?
 
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Get a divorce. Other than that they have a right to garnish her wages too, since she is his wife. Two become one in marriage. (in most states anyway)



***** joking about the divorce
Maybe she can encourage her husband to get a full time job and take care of his responsibility.
 
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Call the office of the attorney general in your state and they'll be able to give you accurate information.
 
I know you want to help but THEY need to be going up there to the office and asking all of those questions.

From what I've heard, it depends on the state laws. If he gets back on the correct schedule, they will probably stop garnishing her wages. However, if they are struggling as it is and have a baby on the way..he will probably get behind again?
 
ZeeOl'Lady said:
I don't think they'd divorce lol

So, even if he pays up the past due balance, will they continue to garnish her wages?
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trif dude aka friends broke lazy hubby needs to call the child support folks to make payment arrangements to stop that garnishment. He is lucky he is only 6 g's in the hole. He will have to pay his monthly support along with the payment arrangement amount for the arrears. Tell your friend to stop spitting out babies because they clearly cannot afford it and need to use birth control. Folks having all these babies struggling in the beginning really need to think about their own and their kids future. Its too hard out there to start a family without a solid foundation. Even with a solid foundation all kinds of unexpected things can happen but my goodness they both sound like a piece of work.
 
I actually agree with both of you.

I am pretty curious myself and I thought i would ask.
She doesn't know the direction to go in.
I obviously can't tell them to stop having kids and to use BC even though I want to.

I just really feel sorry for her and I tend to take on people's problems.
 
PiscesBlue10 said:
No offense OP, but why do they keep having children?
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I couldn't answer that to be honest.

She attempted to get her tubes tied after the second (I said the second was 2, but he is only 7 months) but found out she was preggo at her install appt.

But, honey, I don't know.
I wish I could answer it but all I know is that she was taking those breastfeeding pills and between that and being clumsy she got pregnant.
 
Wow, you say he was willfully unemployed. I don't know what she should do, other than be mad at her husband. Who can afford to be unemployed for 2 years with 3 kids? Something isn't right about the husband. Sorry.
 
ZeeOl'Lady said:
Can he go up there and get on a plan or something and tell them to discontinue her wages?
Click to expand...

I'm sure he can. They can take me the money out of his check and leave hers alone, but if he's only working part-time, does he even make enough to make his current payment and the payments he is in arrears by? Did they ever go to court about child support in the first place? I would think they can go back and modify the payment amount. I'm sure the court does not know that your friend and her husband will soon be supporting yet another child.
 
MissJ said:
Wow, you say he was willfully unemployed. I don't know what she should do, other than be mad at her husband. Who can afford to be unemployed for 2 years with 3 kids? Something isn't right about the husband. Sorry.
Click to expand...

Yeah, something sound off here. Even if he was unemployed, what did he expect the baby mama to do? She still gotta take care of that kid. Even if she was the one unemployed, she would have to find a way. So Dude should have known he got kids to take care of and should have taken care of his business.
 
ZeeOl'Lady said:
Can he go up there and get on a plan or something and tell them to discontinue her wages?
Click to expand...

I don't know about child support but when it comes to taxes, when most states start the wage garnishment process, it can't be stopped. Federal is different, they can usually work something out with you. He will have to make some calls to figure all this out.
 
*lights up a newport one hunnit*....

dis sum bu'shyt.

tell ur friend to stop phuckin...got dayum. 2 babies n one on da way??? what da what???? eitha stop phuckin or he needs to get spaded or neutered....whicheva.

first of all, i'm mad she phuckin him like dat, cuz he broke..... hell, my puddi won't even git wet for a broke dyck... but i guess since they married, they can do dat....

sumfin wrong wif da both of them. u know yall broke, so why continue to phuck and not use birthcontrol. i mean dayumn. sumfin wrong wif his DNA cuz u mean to tell me nuffin in his brain clicked n said.."dayum, i need to get a full time job"? I mean really.....

and wif all dem chirren, i ain't even gonna ask how da crib is kept....i can only imagine.
 
I'd just call the AG's office and see what can be done about her check being garnished. It may be a long shot but you never know unless you ask.

I wish them luck because this job climate has not been friendly and with that many children, part-time is not going to get it.
 
Wow! No way would money be coming out of my check like that. I would seriously dip and get a divorce ASAP! No other child is going to be eating Chuckie Cheese if my kids can't out of my own money. No freaking thanks! She's the fool though because ain't no way. Orgasms last for a couple seconds but reality is for a lifetime.
 
mscocoface said:
If he can't find full-time employment he needs to find 2-3 part-time jobs.
Click to expand...

I come from a family of men who always have 2-3 jobs.
My grandad does not believe in a man only working 1 job unless he makes well over enough to support his family.
I agree with him.

MissJ said:
Wow, you say he was willfully unemployed. I don't know what she should do, other than be mad at her husband. Who can afford to be unemployed for 2 years with 3 kids? Something isn't right about the husband. Sorry.
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yes.
This is MY opinion, may or may not be true.
he has a degree (BS), great employment history, very articulate and handsome, a clean record, valid drivers' license and a reliable car.. IMO, HE has NO good reason to be un-and/or-underemployed.

MissJ said:
I'm sure he can. They can take me the money out of his check and leave hers alone, but if he's only working part-time, does he even make enough to make his current payment and the payments he is in arrears by? Did they ever go to court about child support in the first place? I would think they can go back and modify the payment amount. I'm sure the court does not know that your friend and her husband will soon be supporting yet another child.
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No and No.

I don't think the court knows about the youngest one.

I try not to be too judgemental because....well... I have opinions on the matter which I think would cause a lot of controversy.

I will say, though, that she too had that same mentaity a lot of you had three years ago.

She was a SAHM and he made a decent salary; she would say how she would divorce her DH if he didn't make enough money, etc.

Then, she got a slice of humble pie when he unexpectantly lost his job and she had to nurse him through unemployment.

So, while I don't think it's a divorceable offense, I will say that it would bother me, but it seems to be the norm that many black wives have to nurse their hubbys through unemploymenta lot longer than the "other" wives.
JMO
 
ZeeOl'Lady said:
I come from a family of men who always have 2-3 jobs.
My grandad does not believe in a man only working 1 job unless he makes well over enough to support his family.
I agree with him.



yes.
This is MY opinion, may or may not be true.
he has a degree (BS), great employment history, very articulate and handsome, a clean record, valid drivers' license and a reliable car.. IMO, HE has NO good reason to be un-and/or-underemployed.


No and No.

I don't think the court knows about the youngest one.

I try not to be too judgemental because....well... I have opinions on the matter which I think would cause a lot of controversy.

I will say, though, that she too had that same mentaity a lot of you had three years ago.

She was a SAHM and he made a decent salary; she would say how she would divorce her DH if he didn't make enough money, etc.

Then, she got a slice of humble pie when he unexpectantly lost his job and she had to nurse him through unemployment.

So, while I don't think it's a divorceable offense, I will say that it would bother me, but it seems to be the norm that many black wives have to nurse their hubbys through unemploymenta lot longer than the "other" wives.
JMO
Click to expand...
Not taking care of your kid because you are voluntarily unemployed/underemployeed while knocking me up 50-11 times is a divorceable offense, even if her wages weren't being garnished, IMO.
 
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What can she do.... not a damn thing, dude had preexisiting obligations prior to her.

She should encourage him to man up, and assist him in finding additional employment to supplement all his children.
 
ZeeOl'Lady said:
No and No.

I don't think the court knows about the youngest one.

I try not to be too judgemental because....well... I have opinions on the matter which I think would cause a lot of controversy.

I will say, though, that she too had that same mentaity a lot of you had three years ago.

She was a SAHM and he made a decent salary; she would say how she would divorce her DH if he didn't make enough money, etc.

Then, she got a slice of humble pie when he unexpectantly lost his job and she had to nurse him through unemployment.

So, while I don't think it's a divorceable offense, I will say that it would bother me, but it seems to be the norm that many black wives have to nurse their hubbys through unemploymenta lot longer than the "other" wives.
JMO
Click to expand...


I think they need to go to court to make sure everythign is up to date and they have all the info to decide child support.

And I kinda want to hear your opinions on the matter :sekret:

And i agree he needs to pick up a few more part-time jobs.
 
i don't know what state your friend lives in, but child support is not the same across the board....

check this site for your state's standards --> https://extranet.acf.hhs.gov/irgps/stateMap.do

this will give you an idea of what can be done.... you need to find out if your state is a judicial or administrative state and then act accordingly... i've never heard of a wife's wages being attached (joint bank accounts and tax refunds, yes) but if that's something that's allowed in their state, then that's something they're just going to have to deal with.... also, most states do allow for adjustments if the non custodial parent has other obligations (children).... BIG HOWEVER, if the authorities in that state feel that he is underemployed, they may have the option to impute his income and, therefore, his support amount, based on his earning potential.... so this situation can get MUCH worse before it gets better....

but they need to start with the facts and get a copy of all of the paperwork that has been generated on their case so that they know where they stand...

also, stuff like this rarely happens out of the blue... there are procedures (including notification periods and timeframes) that must be followed in order for child support to be processed/filed/etc....

***disclaimer: worked for child support enforcement conducting training for new and veteran employees....
 
ladysaraii said:
I think they need to go to court to make sure everythign is up to date and they have all the info to decide child support.

And I kinda want to hear your opinions on the matter :sekret:

And i agree he needs to pick up a few more part-time jobs.
Click to expand...

No you don't.. lol.
I tend to be heartless on the subject

SHEANITPRO said:
What can she do.... not a damn thing, dude had preexisiting obligations prior to her.

She should encourage him to man up, and assist him in finding additional employment to supplement all his children.
Click to expand...

THIS I really don't agree with.
She is 6 months preggo and works 30 hrs/week.
IMO, she shouldn't have to help him find a job.
That's too much stress on her. Hubby needs to work an office job in the day and mow lawns at night and ring the damn register on the weekends...

SqrpioQutie said:
i don't know what state your friend lives in, but child support is not the same across the board....

check this site for your state's standards --> https://extranet.acf.hhs.gov/irgps/stateMap.do

this will give you an idea of what can be done.... you need to find out if your state is a judicial or administrative state and then act accordingly... i've never heard of a wife's wages being attached (joint bank accounts and tax refunds, yes) but if that's something that's allowed in their state, then that's something they're just going to have to deal with.... also, most states do allow for adjustments if the non custodial parent has other obligations (children).... BIG HOWEVER, if the authorities in that state feel that he is underemployed, they may have the option to impute his income and, therefore, his support amount, based on his earning potential.... so this situation can get MUCH worse before it gets better....

but they need to start with the facts and get a copy of all of the paperwork that has been generated on their case so that they know where they stand...

also, stuff like this rarely happens out of the blue... there are procedures (including notification periods and timeframes) that must be followed in order for child support to be processed/filed/etc....

***disclaimer: worked for child support enforcement conducting training for new and veteran employees....
Click to expand...


WOW!!! Thank you, I'm going to email her your link
 
So...he just assumed he got off scot-free on his baby momma. People crack me up with this ish. "Secret child support." What the heck did he expect?

I highly doubt there is such a thing as secret child support. By the time wages are being garnished....er...
 
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I dunno..

The boy is 8..going on 9.. they had SOMETHING worked out.
I am not trying to be one-sided but it seemed to be working up until she saw ol boy getting married and continuing to expand his family.
IMO, it is a bit of jealousy and spite.
Even though wifey (my friend) shoulda been extra careful with the next two seeing how he lost his a year before she got preggo with #2

Lil J (the 9 year old) NEVER goes without and I feel kind of sorry for my friend because dude was still paying his original amount and has no receipts while he is the hole.
I mean, everytime I speak with her, they have Lil J over the house with them.
It seems like he lives there!!!!
Husband is such a laid back guy (as you can see) and never once even batted an eye with the garnishment.
 
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