Traumatized :/

You really need to assert yourself a bit more.

Folks get the point when you are serious and mean business, no play pimpin.
 
Please don't get mad at your SO. People get killed over stuff like this. There have been many occassions when men get killed over a woman. I hope you alert the school and/or gym mangers to let them know what's going on.
 
D@mn, is that how it goes down at Southern? And we just added ya'll to play us in a classic game, lol, maybe I won't be in attendance if thats the type of foolishness ya'll condone.

J/k, sorry I couldn't resisit. Seriously tho, I'm a graduate of a school that was quite...urban at times. Esp around homecoming time, Ive had folks grope or grab me several times, like literally one time a random dude walked up and scooped me up in a bear hug and would not let me go. People hanging out of cars with gold grills and videocameras shouting obscenities, etc.

I agree w/ the other posters u are going to have to learn how to be responsible for ur own safety. U can't have them dudes w/you 24/7. You should definitely make a complaint bc that's ridiculous. And if the school won't do anything about it, or u still don't feel safe, I cosign on workout dvds. I know u are a broke college student, but dumbells and a couple dvds should only run you like 25-30 dollars.

Also, people can smell fear and vulnerability. Somehow magically when I was about 20-21 I stopped getting harassed by ignorant dudes around campus, I think I just developed this vibe/swagger that said "don't f**k with me/ I ain't the one".
 
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Imani said:
I agree w/ the other posters u are going to have to learn how to be responsible for ur own safety. U can't have them dudes w/you 24/7. You should definitely make a complaint bc that's ridiculous. And if the school won't do anything about it, or u still don't feel safe, I cosign on workout dvds. I know u are a broke college student, but dumbells and a couple dvds should only run you like 25-30 dollars.
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OP, I know you would feel bad if one of those guys or your SO got hurt really bad or murdered (becasue folks are ignorant) over you. Please try to protect yourself for you and not depend on anyone else to do it for you.
 
I hate overly aggressive men. I have cursed out many of dudes that don't know how to keep their hands to themselves.

...But i'm semi laughing at "I NEED AN ADULT"
 
dollface0023 said:
I hate overly aggressive men. I have cursed out many of dudes that don't know how to keep their hands to themselves.
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Same here. Cuss them out and ask them if they feel like getting cut up with a blade on this day. I always pray for God to keep me out of harms way, BUT in the event that someone does come my way like these crazy arse men they will get sliced with one of my many pieces of cutlery.
 
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Syrah said:
Don't shoot the messenger, but honestly, I can't help but feel like there's a twinge of "I like the attention" (excluding the pulling-you-off-a-stationery-bike attention) in your response...
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I felt the same way when I read the orginal post.
 
OP you clearly need to be more focused on your work outs. Men will play with you at the gym if they feel like they have the opportunity.

I will say you do sound like a bit of a flirt. I am sorry but "i need an adult" is not the way you stop a grown man from pulling your hair. You should have looked him dead in the eye with a straight face and told him firmly "Do not touch me! and if you proceed to harrass me again I will call the police and press charges" he would have left you alone for sure.

and if not you need to call 9-1-1 immediately!

Im sorry OP but I am so into my cardio it would take a serious assault to even get near me! If you have a "dont mess with me I am focused on my workout attitude" men will leave you alone.

You should be in the gym working up a sweat not playing with body guards.
 
PPGbubbles said:
OP you clearly need to be more focused on your work outs. Men will play with you at the gym if they feel like they have the opportunity.

I will say you do sound like a bit of a flirt. I am sorry but "i need an adult" is not the way you stop a grown man from pulling your hair. You should have looked him dead in the eye with a straight face and told him firmly "Do not touch me! and if you proceed to harrass me again I will call the police and press charges" he would have left you alone for sure.

and if not you need to call 9-1-1 immediately!

Im sorry OP but I am so into my cardio it would take a serious assault to even get near me! If you have a "dont mess with me I am focused on my workout attitude" men will leave you alone.

You should be in the gym working up a sweat not playing with body guards.
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How was i flirting with someone i wasnt even talking to? Regardless of what i was doing he did not have the right to touch me. I was not "playing" with anyone. I WAS focused on my workout thats why i didnt hear him properly when he said something to me. The "i need an adult" part was supposed to be a signal. Kinda like if i was being raped i was told to yell fire to get people's attention? but i supposed you'd think that would be my fault too. *and telling what i should have done doesnt change anything so quit beating that dead horse.
 
I don't understand the "I need an adult" part. You guys are supposed to be adults as well. Is that what you guys call security over there? I'm just trying to imagine you yelling I need an adult! :lol: I'm sorry. Just sounds weird.

I would find out who he is and report him.
 
pookaloo83 said:
I don't understand the "I need an adult" part. You guys are supposed to be adults as well. Is that what you guys call security over there? I'm just trying to imagine you yelling I need an adult! :lol: I'm sorry. Just sounds weird.

I would find out who he is and report him.
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you should read my last post. Anyway no one will tell me who he is because he's going to get in trouble. Apparently his staying in college is more important than my welfare but whatever apparently is my fault anyway for being assaulted by someone i didnt know. I should really watch for strangers randomly attacking me.
 
PERIOD POINT BLANK HE SHOULD'NT HAVE TOUCHED YOU!

I think its great that you're taking measures to see that he is punished for invading your personal space. His hands had no place on your person.

How you view your SO I think has more to do with your level of comfort with him. You felt it was his duty to protect you, and he didnt. Now you feel some type of way because the situation was not handled to your satisfaction. Just my thoughts.

I do think you should look into other activites to keep up your health. I do think you can get creative with your workouts, and find a variety of activities you could perform in your room. Also I do think you should look into defense classes for yourself. There is nothing wrong with being able to protecct yourself. You cant always have a bodyguard to block unsolicited attention. I hope your situation turns out on a positive note in all aspects!
 
msmurray said:
PERIOD POINT BLANK HE SHOULD'NT HAVE TOUCHED YOU!
I think its great that you're taking measures to see that he is punished for invading your personal space. His hands had no place on your person.

How you view your SO I think has more to do with your level of comfort with him. You felt it was his duty to protect you, and he didnt. Now you feel some type of way because the situation was not handled to your satisfaction. Just my thoughts.

I do think you should look into other activites to keep up your health. I do think you can get creative with your workouts, and find a variety of activities you could perform in your room. Also I do think you should look into defense classes for yourself. There is nothing wrong with being able to protecct yourself. You cant always have a bodyguard to block unsolicited attention. I hope your situation turns out on a positive note in all aspects!
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thank you! regardless of how i was dressed, looked, sounded, acted, smelled, or ANYTHING of the sort at not one point did i give him the right to touch me. That is the point.
 
chelseatiara said:
How was i flirting with someone i wasnt even talking to? Regardless of what i was doing he did not have the right to touch me. I was not "playing" with anyone. I WAS focused on my workout thats why i didnt hear him properly when he said something to me. The "i need an adult" part was supposed to be a signal. Kinda like if i was being raped i was told to yell fire to get people's attention? but i supposed you'd think that would be my fault too. *and telling what i should have done doesnt change anything so quit beating that dead horse.
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OP we are talking very different subjects. Rape and men pulling hair at a gym are very different. Dont get it twisted I never blame the rape victim :nono: so lets not draw that conclusion

and I am sorry as an adult "I need an adult" is a silly signal. you say "help" or something so that the offender and all around you know that you are trully in distress.

I am sorry but perhaps you will see with age, you may need to change the way you carry yourself. If you have a dont mess with me auora you wont be messed with, trust! and if someone does cross that line you let them know how serious you are about wanting that behavior to stop immeadiately.

and as I said if you feel this is a serious issue, you need to be calling 9-1-1 not asking your boys for help. If this is a serious issue of harrasment let the authorities know!

and at the red, yes it does help. Since this isnt the first time you have had an encounter like this yes, saying what you should have done is not a lost cause. You felt the need to get bodygaurds for backup so OP we women are telling you what measures you can take to prevent this :yep: and how to stop foolishness dead in its tracks.

dont be so deffensive OP!

ETA: I see you tried to call to campus police. good! but you have to also be pro-active OP men try to push boundaries.
 
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MissMasala5 said:
There are people who work at this gym whose job it is to "do something" that won't end up in an altercation that could wind up with people getting hurt or worse, you know? Report the incident to management and let them take it from there.
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No. There isnt. Every single time ive went the office has been unoccupied, locked, and/or closed. I may be upset but that doesnt make me stupid. If there would have been authority there in the first place i wouldn't need "bodyguards" and incidents like this one could have been prevented and/or handled immediately.
 
PPGbubbles said:
OP we are talking very different subjects. Rape and men pulling hair at a gym are very different. Dont get it twisted I never blame the rape victim :nono: so lets not draw that conclusion

and I am sorry as an adult "I need an adult" is a silly signal. you say "help" or something so that the offender and all around you know that you are trully in distress.

I am sorry but perhaps you will see with age, you may need to change the way you carry yourself. If you have a dont mess with me auora you wont be messed with, trust! and if someone does cross that line you let them know how serious you are about wanting that behavior to stop immeadiately.

and as I said if you feel this is a serious issue, you need to be calling 9-1-1 not asking your boys for help. If this is a serious issue of harrasment let the authorities know!

and at the red, yes it does help. Since this isnt the first time you have had an encounter like this yes, saying what you should have done is not a lost cause. You felt the need to get bodygaurds for backup so OP we women are telling you what measures you can take to prevent this :yep: and how to stop foolishness dead in its tracks.

dont be so deffensive OP!

ETA: I see you tried to call to campus police. good! but you have to also be pro-active OP men try to push boundaries.
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They very much are but thats how many situations go too far necessarily. And i turned around and said help me afterwards but that didnt matter either.
 
chelseatiara said:
No. There isnt. Every single time ive went the office has been unoccupied, locked, and/or closed. I may be upset but that doesnt make me stupid. If there would have been authority there in the first place i wouldn't need "bodyguards" and incidents like this one could have been prevented and/or handled immediately.
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Seems its time to get those DVDs, workout at home and KIM.

This seems easily preventable. Don't get me wrong: 1) no one should touch you 2) it's a shame that they don't have "home training" 3) you should never feel afraid in any space which is why 4) you should make sure to surround yourself in places that make you feel safe and happy.

So are you going to work out at home? That's the question. What's your next move?
 
chelseatiara said:
They very much are but thats how many situations go too far necessarily. And i turned around and said help me afterwards but that didnt matter either.
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@ the bolded you did not put that in your OP all you told us you said is "I need an adult" I am not a mind reader I can only gauge the story by what you write; I wasnt there.

and yes OP rape stories, and hair pulling stories are different imo. yes I do agree that both are inappropriate. but I can't equate the two. and we can agree to disagree

OP we can only go by what you post, and its funny that out of my long post that all you saw.

also, it seems the more correction you get the more the details seem to spill and takes this story from a school yard anecdote to a police report.

I am going to leave this alone it is not my intention to offend, I can only go by my perception of the situation.

I do wish you all the best and genuinely hope you stay safe!
 
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^^I don't know about that. Someone who pulls your hair so hard you almost fall off a bike? That's not a gentle tug and that's physically (overly) aggressive. And then tells your man that his cousin could sh%# on her. I mean even when someone told him to step down he still was agressive

To me the red alert sign shot up. To me it seems that this guy does not care and also could be testing his boundaries (and proving that even with her man around she can't be helped easily).

How do you think women are raped? A ton of women know or have seen their aggressors. This behavior is unacceptable period.

I don't take it as...boys will be boys. I take it as unnecessarily aggressive and alarming behavior. I would not call him a rapist, but I would not so easily dismiss him or his actions of invading herspace.

I think she has some valid concerns but they could also be easily solvable.
 
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I feel bad because honestly, I feel like hindsight is always 20/20 in a situation like this and it's easy to say what you should have done/could have done.

And for what it's worth, this is a college campus and I've seen my friends go through hell trying to report sh*t that happens to them by men and I didn't go to a hood school. Off-campus reporting can be also pretty useless as well. What makes it worse is that women do get castigated and get blamed for crap that they had no control over.

It's sad, but that's how it really is so... I understand why she relied on her male friends to help her.

The fact is that the men had no right to touch her and it is a prelude to more pernicious scenarios so be very careful. Some people try to ignore it but I've known some dudes to try to retaliate if a woman talks back or tries to do something (:nono:), but I hope that whatever solution that you find OP that it works out for you.
 
Some of you haven't been to college in a while, but it sounds like OP goes to an urban school and yes those kinda guys there are off the chain :nono:
they do this kind of mess all the time.....
check out the vid of the sigma pajama party on worldstarhiphop so you can understand their lifestyle.
And I do think having the bodyguards is making you more of a target, cuz now they feel dared.
When it comes to bullying and harassment your attention to them does not matter, all they need from you is the assumption that they can mess with you.
 
@Conterria so me speaking to guys i know is flirting? really?

PPGbubbles as far as me adding more details i didnt think the other stuff mattered as much so i left them out.

As ive previously said im not going to go to the gym anymore and im a trying to get the guys name but it isnt going so well...
 
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danibeeja_gyal said:
HA! Come on down to Atlanta and ride Marta since your so sure of that.
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chelseatiara said:
@Conterria so me speaking to guys i know is flirting? really?
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I took my Undergraduate degree in GA and I am very familiar with the MARTA.

More women need to learn the non-vocalized art of letting ninjas know when you do not want to be bothered.

OP, I would say so,i am a firm believer that men and women are never truly platonic friends, so whatever convo you have with a man is to him, is subject to be considered flirting (my opinion, I am not referencing this as a science). That is why you need to be careful how you talk to guys because they will possibly take it the wrong way, whether you know them or not.

I am sorry that you have to deal with this but a lot of harassment can be avoided by how women carry themselves..I know, in a perfect world etc, but we all have to adapt to what is, and protect ourselves and not expect people to do it for us.
 
mwedzi said:
What in the world?! This is outrageous. What about the male friend you were racing on the stationary bike? Didn't he see when the guy pulled you off your bicycle? What kind of friend is he that he didn't say anything to someone who did that to you? I don't understand, you have your SO and several male friends there and no one saw or stood up for you? They're the worst bodyguards ever.

Anyway, you shouldn't need bodyguards at all. This gym sounds buck wild. I would report what happened. I wouldn't even wait for it to happen again. It is completely unacceptable for someone to pull you off your bike by your hair. wth?! If the gym people can't handle it, the law can. How you gonna pull a woman by her hair and make her fall to the ground? I mean, isn't that assault? What in the world?
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am afraid it's only a matter of time before things get worse and she is physically and sexually assaulted. If OP can't put a stop to those shenanigans, OP needs to change college. I could not learn in such a dangerous and disrespectful setting.
 
chelseatiara said:
you should read my last post. Anyway no one will tell me who he is because he's going to get in trouble. Apparently his staying in college is more important than my welfare but whatever apparently is my fault anyway for being assaulted by someone i didnt know. I should really watch for strangers randomly attacking me.
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I wouldn't continue attending this college if I were you.
 
I don't understand a 20 year old yelling "I NEED AN ADULT" or getting mad at the boyfriend who defended her even though he didn't see the incident.
 
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