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Transitioning without BC'ing Support Thread

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@divachyk

TRUTH! I cannot lie.

Growing up with biracial relatives and being the only one with coily kiny curly hair was ROUGH! to say the least. Now that I'm older I simply hate to hear that phrase.

Then again my dream texture is a nice high density 4b. Think virtuenow or @DoDo. So I feel some type of way when people talk down on it. :lol: Get all up in my feelings and what not lol
 
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EnExitStageLeft said:
divachyk

TRUTH! I cannot lie.

Growing up with biracial relatives and being the only one with coily kiny curly hair was ROUGH! to say the least. Now that I'm older I simply hate to hear that phrase.

Then again my dream texture is a nice high density 4b. Think @virturenow or DoDo. So I feel some type of way when people talk down on it. :lol: Get all up in my feelings and what not lol
Click to expand...

EnExitStageLeft

I ...took a very long time to embrace my hair. There was a time I hated my hair and preferred it relaxed and when my scalp didn't allow me to relax because of my skin condition I chose to wear braids. Back to back. No breaks.
If a day or two went by in between installs it was too long for me. Naturally my hair got shorter and shorter without me even noticing because length did not concern me. I was convinced it wasn't going to grow anyway, and that it would always look a hot mess anyway, and that I looked like a boy at worst (when I had no hair) and a child at best (when I had some hair).

I am going to be honest I am still learning to love my hair. I have seen what it can do with care and have come to appreciate it. I also realized that given what it had been through, it had weathered the storm far more gracefully than it should have. Case in point a friend of mine saw my fried heat damaged pressed to death hair in a photo while I was sitting with her - while I was in braids:rolleyes:, and said "you don't need to wear braids your hair is beautiful and thick I don't see why you wear braids". Mind you this friend stayed in braids the same way I did and she had soft naturally honey blonde hair, but I digress...

So, you can imagine my surprise when after I had taken the time to care for and grow out my hair, and you have seen my texture, a woman who had recently texturized after spending her life natural tells me " you have a good grade of hair".:perplexed

...I was able to grow my hair out because I have "a good grade of hair"? :look:

Um, do you like see my hair?

I feel like this just goes to show how the words good and bad are used to reinforce inferiority complexes. It is not about curl pattern or even ease of care, it is about "you have better hair. you are better, prettier, younger, whiter..." all those categories they use to subjugate women and especially women of color.
 
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DoDo said:
@EnExitStageLeft

I ...took a very long time to embrace my hair. There was a time I hated my hair and preferred it relaxed and when my scalp didn't allow me to relax because of my skin condition I chose to wear braids. Back to back. No breaks.
If a day or two went by in between installs it was too long for me. Naturally my hair got shorter and shorter without me even noticing because length did not concern me. I was convinced it wasn't going to grow anyway, and that it would always look a hot mess anyway, and that I looked like a boy at worst (when I had no hair) and a child at best (when I had some hair).

I am going to be honest I am still learning to love my hair. I have seen what it can do with care and have come to appreciate it. I also realized that given what it had been through, it had weathered the storm far more gracefully than it should have. Case in point a friend of mine saw my fried heat damaged pressed to death hair in a photo while I was sitting with her - while I was in braids:rolleyes:, and said "you don't need to wear braids your hair is beautiful and thick I don't see why you wear braids". Mind you this friend stayed in braids the same way I did and she had soft naturally honey blonde hair, but I digress...

So, you can imagine my surprise when after I had taken the time to care for and grow out my hair, and you have seen my texture, a woman who had recently texturized after spending her life natural tells me " you have a good grade of hair".:perplexed

...I was able to grow my hair out because I have "a good grade of hair"? :look:

Um, do you like see my hair?

I feel like this just goes to show how the words good and bad are used to reinforce inferiority complexes. It is not about curl pattern or even ease of care, it is about "you have better hair. you are better, prettier, younger, whiter..." all those categories they use to subjugate women and especially women of color.
Click to expand...

PREACH! :clap:

But shameless side note: If your ever want to switch hair...I'm down. I showed my co-worker (she's a 4b (ish) also) and she nearly dag-gon died. She couldn't believe all of that was your hair.
 
When I hear those terms, I really don't interpret them negatively. I know those I encounter IRL admire my hair and they are only trying to compliment me not put me down. We grow up with understanding some things to be norms. We've studied hair and learned better information by participating on hair forums. Therefore, we understand terminology better. Those I engage with do not know these things, thus I feel I can't hold their lack of knowledge against them. I didn't mean to sidetrack this thread. I guess I just sip from a different fountain on this topic.

But on the real -- I'm blessed to have what I do but if given an option....here's my put: I had a cousin with good hair (rest her soul) -- she's all AA -- I always wanted that curl pattern...just silky and curly straight from the scalp. *ducks, dodges and goes to bed* night night ladies!
 
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@divachyk

At least your honest and that i can appreciate. I think we've all had curl envy once or twice in our lives. Heck I almost balded myself in college tryin' to transition because I was obsessed with looking like Jill Scott :lachen:.
 
Did a lil trim.. my hair hasnt been this short in a while. I just trimmed early august and these ends were screaming!!! Also my relaxed hair and natural hair are different colors. Relaxed dark brown but natural looks black.
As I was trimming, I could see why folks will bc. You see that nice thick hair and as you go down the relaxed looks..as my mom would say " po". Im pretty sure at my 1 yr post date I will take the plunge and chop away.
 
sharifeh, I'm glad you, EnExitStageLeft and others feel that way. LHCF surfing and being a supervisor for many years have given me a complex about being honest. I find I'm always thinking of other people feelings and ways to be politically correct. However, I'd be straight lying if I said I love that I have low porosity, tangle prone, kinky hair that drinks moisture like she's ran two back to back marathons and is straight dehydrated, requires pampering like a princess and gets straight pissed if she doesn't get it. It's like team too much some days but if I don't let her have her way, it's heck to pay. Nobody ain't happy if mama (my hair) ain't happy. :giggle:
 
So I am still here. Not sure if I am transitioning to texturized hair or natural. I did a touch up with the Linange Texturizer 6 weeks ago and love it. My newgrowth has lots of texture but is so easy to detangle and retains moisture really well. So it seems texturizing is going to be it for me at least until all the relaxed ends are gone. Giving it 2 years or there about.
 
My hair feels fragile and weak. Breakage results with the least manipulation. I used protein tonight to see if that helps. I only applied it to my length, not the new growth. If this doesn't resolve the weakness then I may go ahead and end the stretch. I'm not mentally or emotionally ready though.
 
divachyk said:
My hair feels fragile and weak. Breakage results with the least manipulation. I used protein tonight to see if that helps. I only applied it to my length, not the new growth. If this doesn't resolve the weakness then I may go ahead and end the stretch. I'm not mentally or emotionally ready though.
Click to expand...
Good luck, Diva!
 
^^ hopefully the protein helps

I want to try transitioning using rollersets regularly for a while. Rollersets one week bun the next and repeat. I don't care for my roots to be straight because just tying it down with a scarf does the job for me pretty well.

Breakage while bunning has become a problem for me.

12 weeks and counting. Is anyone else around that many weeks post?
 
ScorpioLove

I think divachyk is 10 or 11 weeks post. Maybe you guys can keep wach other motivated.


Matter of fact divachyk did you use to ponytail rollerset weekly back in the day? You had Bomb.com retention too. You think you need to implement it again? Not exactly every week, but every 2-3 weeks to try and allieviate some of the breakage?
 
divachyk did u use a hardcore protein like aphogee 2step or something mild? You might have to go with the 2step protein...OR if the treatment you used doesn't work, you can use protein-rich moisturizers and leave-ins.
 
DivaChyck do you have a neutralizing poo at home? I know that you go to the shop for touch-ups. Is it possible that your hair was not properly neutralized, after your last touch-up? Or you had some run off in your previously relaxed hair?

I think you should do a neutralizing poo and heavy protein treatment, followed by a uber moisturizing treatment.

I'm concerned that your hair is breaking...:hug:

Sent from my Speak & Spell using LHCF
 
I'm at the Dominican salon now getting my rollerset. I had already washed my hair and left the conditioner on for them to rinse out.
 
Cattypus1 said:
Good luck, Diva!
Click to expand...
Cattypus1, thanks!

ScorpioLove said:
^^ hopefully the protein helps

I want to try transitioning using rollersets regularly for a while. Rollersets one week bun the next and repeat. I don't care for my roots to be straight because just tying it down with a scarf does the job for me pretty well.

Breakage while bunning has become a problem for me.

12 weeks and counting. Is anyone else around that many weeks post?
Click to expand...
TY, I'm 11 weeks ScorpioLove

EnExitStageLeft said:
ScorpioLove

I think divachyk is 10 or 11 weeks post. Maybe you guys can keep wach other motivated.

Matter of fact divachyk did you use to ponytail rollerset weekly back in the day? You had Bomb.com retention too. You think you need to implement it again? Not exactly every week, but every 2-3 weeks to try and allieviate some of the breakage?
Click to expand...

TY EnExitStageLeft, I was thinking the same. Maybe the heat will help. My heat styled hair always performs better.

beauti said:
divachyk did u use a hardcore protein like aphogee 2step or something mild? You might have to go with the 2step protein...OR if the treatment you used doesn't work, you can use protein-rich moisturizers and leave-ins.
Click to expand...
beauti, k...will do. My hair is protein sensitive. I used Ion Effective Care.

MileHighDiva said:
DivaChyck do you have a neutralizing poo at home? I know that you go to the shop for touch-ups. Is it possible that your hair was not properly neutralized, after your last touch-up? Or you had some run off in your previously relaxed hair?

I think you should do a neutralizing poo and heavy protein treatment, followed by a uber moisturizing treatment.

I'm concerned that your hair is breaking...:hug:

Sent from my Speak & Spell using LHCF
Click to expand...
MileHighDiva, I neutralized but skipped protein. It broke severely. The breakage stopped after I used protein. I just haven't been happy with my hair because of this mishap. I'm kinda nervous to get another TU if I can be honest.
 
I hope you continue your stretching to a transition. Regardless of your choice I personally try not to relax if my hair is excessively breaking. Before a relaxer I like my hair to be in good shape
 
divachyk everyone pretty much gave great suggestions. I hope your hair recuperates after this and the breakage stops. You said you neutralized but skipped protein? Have you ever tried the protein step right after rinsing off all relaxer and before neutralizing? If not, do try it the next time you go for your touch up. Bring a bottle of aphogee 2min with you to the salon and insist that they use it right after rinsing off relaxer. The results are amazing: soft but strong hair.
 
ScorpioLove said:
^^ hopefully the protein helps I want to try transitioning using rollersets regularly for a while. Rollersets one week bun the next and repeat. I don't care for my roots to be straight because just tying it down with a scarf does the job for me pretty well. Breakage while bunning has become a problem for me. 12 weeks and counting. Is anyone else around that many weeks post?
Click to expand...

I'm 10.5 weeks post.
 
I'm starting over and transitioning from a short relaxed cut. I notice that I always transition from a short relaxed cut to natural hair. I was just trying to figure out what I did the very first time and I had healthy beautiful hair and last time where my hair was not. I still did my protective styles(wigs, weaves and braids) . But I cowashed the first time and my hair was the best!! :) So I'm starting over my last relaxer was last month. And I'm staying with cowashing all the way!!
 
bluediamond0829 said:
I'm starting over and transitioning from a short relaxed cut. I notice that I always transition from a short relaxed cut to natural hair. I was just trying to figure out what I did the very first time and I had healthy beautiful hair and last time where my hair was not. I still did my protective styles(wigs, weaves and braids) . But I cowashed the first time and my hair was the best!! :) So I'm starting over my last relaxer was last month. And I'm staying with cowashing all the way!!
Click to expand...

Welcome :)

I'm transitioning with short, relaxed hair also. I did the BC last summer and I didn't like the TWA stage. I relaxed again just 6 mos later and now I'm transitioning. Wigs and weaves will be my PS for 2014.
 
I love the ease of my hair after Curlformers but my install time is wearing me the heck out. It takes me FIVE full hours to install them, and that is with 4 styling hooks. I use 80 rollers though since 40 isn't enough. Last night I went to bed at 5AM and slept with my soft bonnet dryer on so that I could wake up 3 hours later to dry hair. Hammercy! :nono:
 
we should all be transitioning buddies. I need people to hold me accountable. My mom hates natural hair and I know she'll insist on me relaxing.
 
Im a 3 year girl too :hiya: I will not have short hair. No, no, no. :look: the earliest I will cut is 2.5.



*lets see if Im singing the same song in a few months :giggle:
 
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