totally over my hair...2011 change or im done.

pureebony

pureebony

New Member
Yep another thread with a frustrated natural with 4a hair that wont retain further than neck length hair.

i am soooooooooo fed up and really cannot be bothered anymore. i want long hair but it like not happening for me.

since i found this site my hair has just not improve one bit, and its not anything else but me, my hair has been hidden under a quick weave, and had great progress then what do go and do... flat iron my hair and cause a severe case of splits knots and snaps i have ever witnessed on one head of hair.

so this is it, 2011 if i don't get it right im just giving up chasing the dream and just reside to wearing fake hair and pretend that it grew out of my head! urgh! sorry i am venting and feel quite p-d off?!?!

p.s. my hair is that bad...and i cant leave it out natural ... cuz it is that bad
 
are you relaxed or natural?


eta: i just re-read your post. i'm assuming by the last sentence that you are natural or that you don't want to go natural. i'm not totally clear.
 
You mentioned a quick weave. Do you mean you were hiding under a wig or glued in quick weave?

When I cut my hair to above neck length, my hair flourished. I had no issue with retention since my hair didn't rub against fabrics. What's your regimen?
 
Sounds like you just need to learn from your experience and move on. Nurture it back to health by doing protein and moisture dc's and give it a good trim to start fresh for 2011. Did you use a heat protetant? If not, add it next time, if you did then maybe direct heat is just not for you.
 
wow don't give up. I understand your frustrated but it must be something that you aren't doing or doing too much of. what is your exact regi? I felt the same way and had some progress but then had a set back which I later realized what my mistake was, now I'm back on track. First change that frame of mind that you have because your hair CAN and WILL grow. *hugs*
 
What protective styles/styling tools do you use? Maybe a certain comb, brush, flat iron or even moisturizer/not enough protein is the problem. What kind of iron and protectant do you use? I really don't know how to help b/c I'm not there and I don't have enough info. Even then... I still might be perplexed.

My sister has been natural for over 5 years. I'm going on my 2nd year ( failed miserably the 1st time after 10 months), but our hair is almost the same length.

Someone (Lucky's mom?) made the point about dry ends being kinda sawed off by shirts/collars when we turn our heads.

Would you consider weaving it up fully until it's beyond shoulder length? Could you be anemic? Just trying to get to the root of the issue.
 
thanks ladies basically, my hair is thick and cottony, it loves moisture as it is naturally dry, i wear a quick weave that i pin to my head so no pulling involved.

i spray my hair almost everyday with african pride water based leave in, oil my scalp with a castor, olive, sulfur based thingy.

and i wash once a week using kimmaytube's method.

but to be honest my hair is damaged i cut 2 inches off 3 weeks ago and its still full of knots and midway splits due to the heat i used, basically my hair is a mess and i just keep cutting and cutting away at it.

i am not someone who likes doing her hair so when i wear a weave or wigs its cuz im lazy, but even weaves are limited for me as i cant blend my hair with most that are out there.... i just cant be arsed with my hair anymore. it is a hott *** mess!
 
p.s my hair is very very prone to knotting which makes it hard to retain hence why i wanted to 'heat train' my hair, note to self no longer using direct heat.
 
to be honest i am open to any suggestion possible my hair is messed up, but my edges are thin to pulling from metal wig clips (i used them even though i saw they were damaging) so i need to avoid that.
 
natural hair is not what i am confident in doing at the moment, not with my hair like this, i was natural earlier on but my w=hair was in better condition and looked healthy, i have thinning spots that are obvious.
 
have you considered twists?

If your ends are thinning maybe hair added styles would not be best for you.
 
i thought so too, but i really do not like the look of twists on me, im just being honest, my edges are thin too and if im going to leave my hair out natural i would like it to look good and healthy.
 
How bout twist outs or braid outs? I love these because they give great definition, reduce knots and tangling if you do them correctly and give volume which sounds like something that will help you.
 
yeah i have tried that but my hair is no more than 4 inches all round and im not convinced it looks that great on me, when im natural buns are my preferred style of choice, but with my edges and hair the way they are buns are near enough impossible.
 
I think you may be too hard on yourself on what looks good on you. Do you have a PIC or something? I'm sure that you would look nice.
 
did you only flat iron your hair one time? Have you thought of investing in a lace front, or some other wig to hide your hair under while you nurture it back to health? It sounds like the metal wig clips caused more damage than good.

Whatever the case, please don't get discouraged. :bighug:
 
thanks Charz- your sweet, don't really take that many pics at the mo, but seriously take my word for it, if i could do it i would but it doesn't work on me at this length.
 
thanks Jasmineml, i did i used 200 or so degrees on my hair and i smelt it burning but continued so its my fault really, i was thinking of weaves and or wigs, but blending with heat is a no no, but i cant find any kinky curly weave that matches my hair texture that is more 4b at the front.

its at that point where i need to leave it alone.
 
pureebony said:
thanks Jasmineml, i did i used 200 or so degrees on my hair and i smelt it burning but continued so its my fault really, i was thinking of weaves and or wigs, but blending with heat is a no no, but i cant find any kinky curly weave that matches my hair texture that is more 4b at the front.

its at that point where i need to leave it alone.
Click to expand...

but what about a whole head weave/wig were you won't have to blend? Do you wear braids often? How bout hats? Do you work somewhere where it would be okay to wear a cute hat or headwrap?
 
pureebony; said:
i am not someone who likes doing her hair so when i wear a weave or wigs its cuz im lazy, but even weaves are limited for me as i cant blend my hair with most that are out
Click to expand...

I hear you on this! I hated doing my hair the 1st year. It was too short for my face, easily knotted, and really thirsty. It's way healthier since I discovered aloe. I still don't really like to mess with my hair or put on make-up, do facials, etc. That stuff is like taking your car to get an oil change: necessary, but kind of boring to me. But it's easier now.

Have you tried full weaves with no hair out?

Also, my major setback in Dec '08/Jan '09 came from flat ironing my hair, too. I texlaxed it. Hated it. Cut it early '09 and started over, which I was going to have to do anyway b/c of the flat ironing.

I'd used a Gold & Hot and then Conair iron. Now I have a Hana Elite and it makes a HUGE, unbelievable difference.
 
i am wearing a full weave on a cap with bangs so my entire head is covered, so i guess its ok, but i need to sort my hair out underneath.

i just cornrow my hair under the weave but to be honest i am semi inpatient which is why i run into these obstacles.
 
pureebony said:
i am wearing a full weave on a cap with bangs so my entire head is covered, so i guess its ok, but i need to sort my hair out underneath.

i just cornrow my hair under the weave but to be honest i am semi inpatient which is why i run into these obstacles.
Click to expand...

Patience is really important. One poster mentioned to only do your hair when you want to do it. If you are rushing or tired, you should do your hair at a later date. For me I only do my hair once a week and I do not concern myself with it for the remainder of the week. The day that I do my hair is also my day of rest, so I am completely relaxed, happy, and I have plenty of time to do my hair.
 
both really, and any miracle to get my hair to stop snapping off with everything i do-which is hardly anything at all really.
 
would it be wrong to keep my hair braided all the time and only take it down once every 3 months? im thinking of doing that...
 
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