totally over my hair...2011 change or im done.

[Lovelylife]

You could texlax.

 

[BostonMaria]

i thought so too, but i really do not like the look of twists on me, im just being honest, my edges are thin too and if im going to leave my hair out natural i would like it to look good and healthy.

Would you consider rollersetting your hair? You can let it air dry and wear it straight or brush it back into a bun. You can avoid the flatiron but still have straight styles. I do this in the winter.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Mrs. Verde]

both really, and any miracle to get my hair to stop snapping off with everything i do-which is hardly anything at all really.

I know you are frustrated, I can read it in your posts. But I have to say, maybe it's the laziness that is contributing to your damaged hair. Until you decide that you are going to put in more of an effort I don't know that any advice here is going to help. Most of us do something to our hair everyday, even if it's just moisturizing our hair. Not trying to be mean, just being real. I don't know that the miracle you want exists.

 

[PerplexingComplex]

would it be wrong to keep my hair braided all the time and only take it down once every 3 months? im thinking of doing that...

Nope. A lot of type 4s need to keep their hair in protective styles to see any type of growth. Once your hair grows you can just get your real hair braided up and wear it that way.

 

[nymane]

You could try a protein treatment followed by a DC....and continue DC'ing weekly (if you don't already)

 

[Mandy4610]

Hey OP, I dont have much advice for you, just wanted to say dont give up. Maybe you need to twick your regimen?
I am not 4a, but the following things have really worked for me:

prepooing (either with natural oils or with a mild protein)
Using a mild protein
DEEP CONDITIONING
MOISTURIZING
Using natural products

I have to say I attribute alot of my growth to these things.
Also...keep it simple! I think sometimes we do too much in the quest for long hair.

HTH

 

[Mandy4610]

if it were up to me i would only do my hair once a month i am that hair lazy....

Girl...if you wanna see length and health, you may have to step it up a bit. I know it takes time, but in the end its worth it. Once you find a regimen, you can simplify it or know the steps well enough for it to take less time.
Effort=Results!

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

OP i say just follow celinastarr regimen until you figure out where u stand with your natural hair (then maybe develop your own)
conditioner only method (check her out for details).... but i think she uses conditioner (washes) & olive occasionally ...

rarely shampoos ---> combats dryness and breakage for sure

 

[EllePixie]

I agree with those who suggested setting your hair in some way - roller sets, twist outs or braid outs, bantu knots, etc. should keep your hair from snapping b/c it's not wet and fragile all the time.

 

[Rei]

You may want to consider locing if you want a very minimal regimen in terms of day to day maintenance. I don't really see how you can "give up' on your hair, its on your head right? Just deal with it. What kind of styles do you think would look good on you? Ignoring length for a minute, what kind of styles do you think look good on you RIGHT NOW, with nothing added? Extensions should be a style choice, not a crutch. Just deal with your own hair.

There are plenty of natural ladies on youtube who are 4a who have detailed regimens out there. Have you been trying any of those? It may seem like a lot of work but once you find what works for you it will be simple! Just take one day thats free and write down whats NOT working for you, and write down some of the things you want to try. Keep them up for at least a month if they seem to make your hair look or feel good after you try them. Your hair takes work and effort just like any other aspect of life.

 

[Tiye]

Yep another thread with a frustrated natural with 4a hair that wont retain further than neck length hair.

i am soooooooooo fed up and really cannot be bothered anymore. i want long hair but it like not happening for me.

since i found this site my hair has just not improve one bit, and its not anything else but me, my hair has been hidden under a quick weave, and had great progress then what do go and do... flat iron my hair and cause a severe case of splits knots and snaps i have ever witnessed on one head of hair.

so this is it, 2011 if i don't get it right im just giving up chasing the dream and just reside to wearing fake hair and pretend that it grew out of my head! urgh! sorry i am venting and feel quite p-d off?!?!

p.s. my hair is that bad...and i cant leave it out natural ... cuz it is that bad

You can't hold your breath and throw a proverbial fit at the cosmos over hair length ... and you know what they say about watched pots. Maybe "getting over your hair" is the best thing for now and the secret to achieving you what you want. Braid your hair up, enjoy your hair pieces for a few years and focus on something else, and you'll probably end up with more hair than you know what to do with.

 

[CrueltyFree]

I know you are frustrated, I can read it in your posts. But I have to say, maybe it's the laziness that is contributing to your damaged hair. Until you decide that you are going to put in more of an effort I don't know that any advice here is going to help. Most of us do something to our hair everyday, even if it's just moisturizing our hair. Not trying to be mean, just being real. I don't know that the miracle you want exists.

I totally agree with this post.

 

[nnmiles]

Do you have a steamer? If not invest in one, it has greatly helped me retain my length. Best of luck!

 

[ebonyseas]

ITA with other posters. Patience is key. I suffered a huge setback when I was diagnosed with telogen effluvium two years ago, and while I'm nowhere near my goal, my hair is so much better than before. Don't give up. Once you figure out a routine that you can maintain going forward your hear will thrive. I agree with texlaxing and wigging for now. Just remember that you have to care for the hair underneath everyday. Even if you just moisturize and seal.

 

[beauti]

everyone here pretty much offered some great advice and what i noticed is that you had a complaint or excuse for almost all recommendations. maybe you're not ready to start a hhj?? erplexed i mean it sounds like you want the RESULTS of a healthy hair journey without having to take the JOURNEY and that's really not gonna happen....good luck and i hope you at least try some of these great suggestions...

 

[Bella02]

Just wanted to send some more words of encouragement to hang in there and not give up!

You mentioned simply braiding your hair for 3 months. I do something similar to this so it definitely could work and allow you to remain natural. But you will still have to properly care for your hair underneath.

I find what works for me is using full lace wigs (no glue, clips or tape). Every night I remove moisturize/seal and put on my satin bonnet. The next morning if I don’t cowash, I spray on some moisturizer then slap on my wig and head out the door. I find it takes less than 5-10 minutes of my time. Hopefully you will incorporate some the advice given from the ladies and find a reggie that works for.

Please continue to remain Positive and Patient and your hair will start to thrive in no time

 

[shunemite]

would it be wrong to keep my hair braided all the time and only take it down once every 3 months? im thinking of doing that...

that is a great alternative that helps you keep your mind off of your progress. I braid all the time. I can only discourage keeping it in more than 8 weeks, 10 tops, just because the take down will be hell for 4b hair, I've been there. You'll have so many knots. Maybe your hair may be different and you won't get dreading and knots after 10 weeks but it's a common problem.

To address the problem concerning your edges, if you braid your hair, you can just have it parted down the middle and always wear it down. Nobody will see your edges. Another good trick I use is I tell the braider to make larger parts at my edges. It saves them from extra tension.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

thanks ladies basically, my hair is thick and cottony, it loves moisture as it is naturally dry, i wear a quick weave that i pin to my head so no pulling involved.

i spray my hair almost everyday with african pride water based leave in, oil my scalp with a castor, olive, sulfur based thingy.

and i wash once a week using kimmaytube's method.

but to be honest my hair is damaged i cut 2 inches off 3 weeks ago and its still full of knots and midway splits due to the heat i used, basically my hair is a mess and i just keep cutting and cutting away at it.

i am not someone who likes doing her hair so when i wear a weave or wigs its cuz im lazy, but even weaves are limited for me as i cant blend my hair with most that are out there.... i just cant be arsed with my hair anymore. it is a hott *** mess!

You said your hair loves moisture, but what you're putting in your hair doesn't sound that moisturizing too me. The braid spray is cool, but what are you using to seal that moisture in on your hair? Also, ditch whatever sulfur it is you're using. That may be causing your breakage as well

What kind of hair weaving are you using? Synthethics? Have you ever considered if you're allergic to the materials in the hair? Some people are allergic and don't realize it. I think in another post you mentioned you wear wig caps..those can be damaging to the hair as well. They rob the hair of moisture and rubs the edges out along the hairline. Also, the pins you use in your quickweaves, does it still have the bulb at the end? If it has the bulb removed then the sharp edging could cause breakage as well.

Have you ever tried co-washing? What products are you using when doing the 'kimmaytubes' method? I don't follow her regimen but are you using the same products as her, or experiementing with what works for you and your hair? Also, do you deep condition? With what, in what way, and for how long?

Have you ever heard of Chicoro? She's one of my natural hair mentors. She has a wonderful book that I strongly believe you should check into and take heed to the advice: Amazon.com: Grow It: How To Grow Afro-Textured Hair To Maximum Lengths In The Shortest Time (9780982068908): Chicoro: Books

Also, have you read my thread here on an awesome pre-poo: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/ha...09482-you-need-moisture-drenched-pre-poo.html

i just cornrow my hair under the weave but to be honest i am semi inpatient which is why i run into these obstacles.

I think you're more than just semi-impatient. One thing I've learned is that you need to have patience with your hair whether relaxed or natural. If you aren't feeling like dealing your hair at the moment, leave it alone and tend to it when you have the time needed to devote to it. Tending to it in a rushed state leaves you open for all kinds of damage, breakage. Not to mention unnecessary frustration!

I know you are frustrated, I can read it in your posts. But I have to say, maybe it's the laziness that is contributing to your damaged hair. Until you decide that you are going to put in more of an effort I don't know that any advice here is going to help. Most of us do something to our hair everyday, even if it's just moisturizing our hair. Not trying to be mean, just being real. I don't know that the miracle you want exists.

Absolutely!

You may want to consider locing if you want a very minimal regimen in terms of day to day maintenance. I don't really see how you can "give up' on your hair, its on your head right? Just deal with it.

Having locs can be a wonderful style choice. But remember that it's not as carefree and easy going as folks would like to think it is. I had to baby my locs way more the first 5-6 months (while they started the mature process) then my hair now in it's loose natural state. I just won't want you to make the mistake of getting locs due to believing that it'll just be a get up and go type of look. Def. won't be in the very beginning

 

[lushcoils]

Maybe you should start completely over for the new year...like cut it all off. It sounds damaged beyond repair.

 

[ms-gg]

yeah i have tried that but my hair is no more than 4 inches all round and im not convinced it looks that great on me, when im natural buns are my preferred style of choice, but with my edges and hair the way they are buns are near enough impossible.

Girl please. I have about 3-4 inches of hair and braidouts/twistouts can look fierce. Bump what you heard.

I agree with the above poster. I shaved all of my hair off in late 2009, after having APL and longer hair. IMO, I think that it would be best to wear your own hair for a while to give it a break from the weaves. If weaves are causing you damage, then the cycle is going to continue for you. You need to break free and try to restore your own hair. I use to be very weave dependent too and damaged my hair badly from it before I went natural. I haven't touched the stuff in well over four years and I don't miss it. You just need to focus on retention. IMO protective styles are the best for that. It may take some getting use to but I am sure that over time you will grow to love them.

You can get past neck length but it is going to take some work on your part. IMO, when you get in the habit of doing the right things to your hair, it doesn't even seem like a chore or hard work anymore, it just becomes routine....

 

[Solitude]

thanks ladies basically, my hair is thick and cottony, it loves moisture as it is naturally dry, i wear a quick weave that i pin to my head so no pulling involved.

i spray my hair almost everyday with african pride water based leave in, oil my scalp with a castor, olive, sulfur based thingy.

and i wash once a week using kimmaytube's method.

but to be honest my hair is damaged i cut 2 inches off 3 weeks ago and its still full of knots and midway splits due to the heat i used, basically my hair is a mess and i just keep cutting and cutting away at it.

i am not someone who likes doing her hair so when i wear a weave or wigs its cuz im lazy, but even weaves are limited for me as i cant blend my hair with most that are out there.... i just cant be arsed with my hair anymore. it is a hott *** mess!

Your hair is short because you keep cutting it. It sounds pretty cut & dry to me (no pun intended). You already keep your hair hidden. Just wash & dc, keep it hidden and spray moisturizer on it every day.

Also, I doubt flat-ironing caused the splits - it just made them visible with your hair stretched out straight. Plus, 200 degrees is a very low flat-ironing temperature so you probably didn't get any heat damage. Maybe your hair is just dry.

 

[pureebony]

hey ladies, thanks so much for the advice, i am venting and as much as i have heard all the helpful responses, truth be known i have the problem of trying out different things and not sticking to one thing.

at the moment i think you ladies are right i need to sort out what is actually working and not working for me, i am complaining a lot because i am frustrated (maybe at myself) for not listening to my hair and keep coming to these obstacles, but i know i am going to have to change it up, be patient and follow a routine for me and not what works for 20 other women. which i think is part of the problem.

thanks for the encouragement ladies, i am just not in a happy place with my hair and it shows. i have been ready for my hhj i just have not found what works for me yet and my hair is a reflection of it, first it was growth then i was retention now it seems that my hair i prone to knots and splits and i have to get to the root of it.

i will check out celinastarr because my hair is very dry by nature and the fact that its thick gives it a superficial look of healthiness when its actually damaged and like someone said i think straightening it showed that.

Chicoro was one of the first i discovered too and i learned a lot, maybe i am not properly putting them into practice. i am not purposely shutting down suggestions because its very easy to say do this try that, because its me here with my hair dealing with it, just doing different things wont quite cut it at the stage im at, i need to do what one of the ladies said here and listen to what my hair actually needs cuz to be frank i don't think i have quite got it yet even after seven years, like sulfur on my scalp might be making my hair damaged? but i need to start all over again and literally from scratch, re educate myself on healthy hair, i know why i got lazy and that was because i was not seeing improvements so i got mentally stagnant.

i appreciate the kind words because i dont think ts that easy for everyone to just be able to care for their hair, and some people like me find it difficult, because as easy as it was to decide to go natural the reality is a lot tougher and it takes dedication too.

so thanks to those who have provided helpful advice, maybe i need to take that encouragement and start afresh, i know i cant give up on my hair because its on my head but you can stop caring and do whatever to it and that is what i think i was coming very close to, believe me before i decided to go natural and focus on good haircare that is exactly what i did trust me its possible to not care and stick on braids or fake hair and rock it like its yours.

so i have decided to sit down pen and paper in hand as advised and start again, i might just begin by throwing out all the endless products i have accumulated, i have boxes and boxes of products.

i think i might just strip it right back starting with a good cut. but i do appreciate the help and its given me a good awakening as to why my hair is like this and its only me that can change it around.

on that note i am taking the tips here and starting again. its ok to be frustrated i think and to those who didn't mind hearing that-thanks its why i like this board so much.

im ready to start again

xx

 

[Evolving78]

my hair is 4-5 inches now, and i think you could pull the twists off. you just have to make them small, so your hair would appear fuller. after you put them in, run your hair under the shower. the water will puff them up and give more volume. i wore twists when my hair was thinning and i had two bald spots. you have a length that you can easily work with.

i say this out of love, so don't take this the wrong way,but it sounds like you are not ready to embrace your natural texture yet..... you tried to straighten it, and that didn't work, and now you hide under wigs and weaves.

 

[pureebony]

its not that because i have been natural and had my hair out in puffs, and buns and cornrows with beads at the ends i just do not like twists on me its a preference and with thin damaged hair i don't like it even more. so i don't take offense i just think the solutions some have advised me to do are not what i would like to and i have worn my hair out natural for half of the 7 years with no problems its unhealthy looking hair that i do not appreciate rocking and i would rather keep it under a wig/weave if it looks too damaged. its not that simple to say do twists because not all hairstyles suite everyone, i just think it doesn't suite me, i did it a few times and i just didn't like it on me.

i appreciate your help, but accepting my hair is not really my issue its constant setbacks from hair practices that don't seem to be working for me that i need to combat, the heat i applied was to train my hair because i kept getting knots and splits that's all...

 

[Evolving78]

^^^so where you trying to permanently straighten your hair with heat? because that is what heat training is. it breaks the bonds of the cuticles to the point it is damaged, thus making the hair easier to straighten. heat training won't help with getting rid of knots and splits, it will make it worse. how do you detangle your hair and how often do you wear protective styles? do you braid or twist your hair under the wigs?

it's cool if you don't like twists with your current length, it's all about finding styles that you are comfortable with.

do you plan to cut more of your hair and start over?

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

if it were up to me i would only do my hair once a month i am that hair lazy....

I'm sorry about your hair experience

With the length of your hair and not wanting to do it often--you could stretch a twistout for almost 2 weeks without having to wash it--it's what i do.

Also at the length I am currently--twistouts are my preferred style to keep my hair from being matted and knotted.

After washing, I put my twists in, let it dry over night and then undo the twist. At night, I take 10 minutes to redo the twists (I normally have about 15 twists on my head) and next day undo. You can do this for a few weeks until your next wash day. I retwist nightly to cut down on matting to. I do not comb or brush my hair when I retwist, only brushing or combing on wash day. I find it quite simple and it helps with avoiding breakage.

On wash day to make it easy for yourself. Wash your hair in twists. That way, you'll still have your parting, and all you have to do is take a twist down at a time after you're finished, brush through, add your product and retwist.

It's really simple and not very time consumming--and you can do so many cute styles with twistouts.

 

[HauteHippie]

Boxes and boxes of products, huh? PMing you my address

Good Luck on your revised HHJ! Positive thinking eventually yields positive results.

 

[pureebony]

at the moment i do about 7 cornrows underneath and i try to moisturize everyday with y braid spray and i rebraid every weekend as well as wash and deep condition but i skipped that this weekend.

i think i will cut 1 inch more or not, not sure, but i thin like honeycomb said, managing my hair well so that it is well detangled and not needing much manipulation till the next wash.

etheralenigma- you make me laugh if i wasn't in Europe i would send them right over i have way too many products for one head of hair!

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

etheralenigma- you make me laugh if i wasn't in Europe i would send them right over i have way too many products for one head of hair!

I think Europe has more hard water there right? Have you ever considered getting a shower filter? Just a random idea that popped in my head.

Also, def try to find something to seal the braid spray you are using on your braids.

 

[pureebony]

actually hon you are right it never occurred to me as i don't use the shower to wash my hair, but our water is hard, hhhmmm my shower is broken and not one of those replaceable ones, can you get a tap filter?!?!