To Be Content Alone
- Thread starter kayte
- Start date
Ms.Honey
New Member
For some reason you have decided that I am talking to you specifically when I post.
If you are not in the the situation that I'm posting about, why do you feel the constant need to engage me? Why not continue to ignore what I'm actually saying and also not read my post? Until this thread I don't recall actually knowing who you were. Why would you assume that I want you specifically to change something that you apparently you are on point on?
If you are not experiencing the situation the prayer and my posts are talking about, why are you so upset? Apparently you are not one of the ones we're talking about, correct?
TrendySocialite
Well-Known Member
^^^
OT but you have made some serious progress with your hair, your siggy pics are.
Thank you so much!!!!! Your hair is so lush...I can't wait til I get that length
hopeful
Well-Known Member
TrendySocialite
Well-Known Member
For some reason you have decided that I am talking to you specifically when I post.
If you are not in the the situation that I'm posting about, why do you feel the constant need to engage me? Why not continue to ignore what I'm actually saying and also not read my post? Until this thread I don't recall actually knowing who you were. Why would you assume that I want you specifically to change something that you apparently you are on point on?
If you are not experiencing the situation the prayer and my posts are talking about, why are you so upset? Apparently you are not one of the ones we're talking about, correct?
Because you quoted my post in yours....
I'm not upset...wrong assumption (again). I feel for you and your way of interacting with fellow Christians who don't agree with you.
And no, you are not talking about me. But there are women, not as strong in their faith or relationship with Christ, that will think, based on your thoughts, that their desires are wrong and try to discount them. And I do not want them to have a one-sided view of the subject.
So just as you are free to continuing posting your thoughts, so am I....and you don't have to read my posts either. It works both ways....
kayte
Well-Known Member
Mrs Honey
be fair..be honest ..
this poster is rightfully responding because you are and have been directly quoting her
and then responding in a manner I personally found troubling even though you answered her
for what it's worth ..for the record...I feel as she does ..a lot of presumptions made
...which is why I quoted your response to her (?????) as a gentle reminder
that your responses were falling out of the boundary of a kind thoughtful response
...which you are so capable of
you are presenting yourself as an authority and I find that questionable,too.
...in my own private relationshiop with God..HE is my authority
there's a lot of presumptions and controlling stuff at least for me
that makes it hard to filter through to hear where we might agree
I've maintained all along it's a given a single is seeking God...
and seeking God for only seeking God ...as a committed Christian life
it does not suddenly default to 'single desperate woman'...striving
in any way to get the married question secured
my initial reason for starting the thread was not to get permission
or input on the single woman's rght to seek marriage from our Father
no..nothing could be further
but to illustrate the bias a single woman encounters from
without ...wthin the Christian community and sadly ...
that is kind of bearing itself out
but here is the irony..we all agree
seek God first
be prayerful
live a full and greatful/grateful life
turn to the Word
it's the way it's being presented
that makes me feel that bias is pervasive
and insidious indeed....
be fair..be honest ..
this poster is rightfully responding because you are and have been directly quoting her
and then responding in a manner I personally found troubling even though you answered her
for what it's worth ..for the record...I feel as she does ..a lot of presumptions made
...which is why I quoted your response to her (?????) as a gentle reminder
that your responses were falling out of the boundary of a kind thoughtful response
...which you are so capable of
you are presenting yourself as an authority and I find that questionable,too.
...in my own private relationshiop with God..HE is my authority
there's a lot of presumptions and controlling stuff at least for me
that makes it hard to filter through to hear where we might agree
I've maintained all along it's a given a single is seeking God...
and seeking God for only seeking God ...as a committed Christian life
it does not suddenly default to 'single desperate woman'...striving
in any way to get the married question secured
my initial reason for starting the thread was not to get permission
or input on the single woman's rght to seek marriage from our Father
no..nothing could be further
but to illustrate the bias a single woman encounters from
without ...wthin the Christian community and sadly ...
that is kind of bearing itself out
but here is the irony..we all agree
seek God first
be prayerful
live a full and greatful/grateful life
turn to the Word
it's the way it's being presented
that makes me feel that bias is pervasive
and insidious indeed....
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Ms.Honey
New Member
So when YOU keep telling us to stop saying that YOU are such and such, YOU aren't thinking of yourself but the sisters who aren't as spiritually astute as you are to know wheteher or not it was their state we were talking about to discount their desire to marry? No, that can't be what you meant by that because that would mean you are doing to them what you are wrrongly accusing us of doing
And it was YOU who quoted me and I do believe in your frustration you quoted someone else instead of me.
Ms.Honey
New Member
Mrs Honey
be fair..be honest ..
this poster is rightfully responding because you are and have been directly quoting her
and then responding in a manner I personally found troubling even though you answered her
for what it's worth ..for the record...I feel as she does ..a lot of presumptions made
...which is why I quoted your response to her (?????) as a gentle reminder
that your responses were falling out of the boundary of a kind thoughtful response
...which you are so capable of
you are presenting yourself as an authority and I find that questionable,too.
...in my own private relationshiop with God..HE is my authority
there's a lot of presumptions and controlling stuff at least for me
that makes it hard to filter through to hear where we might agree
I've maintained all along it's a given a single is seeking God...
and seeking God for only seeking God ...as a committed Christian life
it does not suddenly default to 'single desperate woman'...striving
in any way to get the married question secured
my initial reason for starting the thread was not to get permission
or input on the single woman's rght to seek marriage from our Father
no..nothing could be further
but to illustrate the bias a single woman encounters from
without ...wthin the Christian community and sadly ...
that is kind of bearing itself out
but here is the irony..we all agree
seek God first
be prayerful
live a full and greatful/grateful life
turn to the Word
it's the way it's being presented
that makes me feel that bias is pervasive
and insidious indeed....
No, that's the way YOU and she have perceived it for some reason. Others didn't so it makes me wonder where you're getting it from. She quoted me first and took what I said out of context and so did you and you did the same with the prayer. Even when I FURTHER explained that that was not what I said some went on the marrieds think they're better tangent. Like I said reread my posts and the prayer and quote me where I said it is wrong to want to be married.
ETA: Some single ladies in the thread weren't offended by what I said and how I said it but instead took my words into consideration.
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TrendySocialite
Well-Known Member
So when YOU keep telling us to stop saying that YOU are such and such, YOU aren't thinking of yourself but the sisters who aren't as spiritually astute as you are to know wheteher or not it was their state we were talking about to discount their desire to marry? No, that can't be what you meant by that because that would mean you are doing to them what you are wrrongly accusing us of doing
And it was YOU who quoted me and I do believe in your frustration you quoted someone else instead of me.
Actually my dear what I said was to stop assuming. I first responded to this post talking about me (since that's the only person I can discuss with authority). You quoted me and said I needed to read with comprehension.
But I'm not going to continue to banter back and forth. I've dealt with people like you before and it's useless.
I'm simply presenting two sides to a conversation....which is my right to do in an open forum.
Oh yeah, and your sarcasm is duly noted....
Ms.Honey
New Member
It's such a simple thing to go back and see who quoted who first and who made the FIRST assumptions.
You took what I said out of context. I NEVER said that no singles are content and I also said that I had CONTENT singles in my chat but of course you didn't see that in my posts because you were offended that someone could possibly suggest that maybe you were not doing something right eventhough no one was talking to you in the first place.
I know people like you too.
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phynestone
Well-Known Member
Okay, ladies. Let's all take a time out.
Obviously, this is a very sensitive subject to some and some posts may have been misinterpreted, taken out of context or mis-quoted. Perhaps some of us need to agree to disagree. I do not want this thread to be closed, so let's maintain the peace.
(In my best Tim Gunn voice)
Carry on.
Obviously, this is a very sensitive subject to some and some posts may have been misinterpreted, taken out of context or mis-quoted. Perhaps some of us need to agree to disagree. I do not want this thread to be closed, so let's maintain the peace.
(In my best Tim Gunn voice)
Carry on.
TrendySocialite
Well-Known Member
I may have quoted you first, but please don't get selective amnesia and act like you didn't quote me also...that is priceless! Quite pitiful actually....
Yes I am and was offended by your reading for comprehension statement. That's an insult to my intelligence, but I do not expect for you to understand that.
Even though your nor anyone else may have been talking to me, I decided to speak up...as (once again) is my right in an open forum.
Ms.Honey
New Member
I never said I never quoted you, again you do not read what I say and go off on your own. You have been posting the insults, read what YOU posted in this and your other posts. You are not innocent of it dear.
And your offense was apparent in the post were YOU quoted me first, making accusations and going on a tangent about something I NEVER SAID!!!!! YOU ASSUMED!!!!
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Please ladies, let it go. I think ya'll going to have to agree to disagree. I think you both have valid points. You have a different approach which I believe can be helpful to a lot of ladies. One way is not necessarily better than the other. Neither of you are going to agree on "who started it." So why not just let it go? A lot of ladies need help in this area. A lot of ladies want to get married. Let's all try to help each other in a kind and respectful way, please.
TrendySocialite
Well-Known Member
I agree and I can and am apologizing for offending anyone, but I do not apologize for my views or for my right to express them. Some other people in this thread apparently do not like being challenged themselves and are bent on having the last word.
But I will let a life well lived (and pleasing to God) speak for itself....
hopeful
Well-Known Member
You absolutely should not apologize for your views or the right to express them. You have a very intelligent and positive point of view that needs to be and should be shared. I was only referring to the back and forth as it gets tedious.
Ms.Honey
New Member
You are correct. I'm done talking to her and she can have the last word and I don't want the thread locked. Someone will be blessed by it.
Irresistible
New Member
If you are single and comprehend that you are married to the LORD and He is Married to you and you walk in that
Then you understand you have the best most loving marriage in the world, what can you not depend on him for? how can he fail you?
I think before you can ever stand with A MAN, Because anyone with any wisdom knows marriage is NOT the happily ever after fairytail, he is JUST A MAN, you first have to have a close relationship with the LORD and know God in a very intimate way or you could never stand with man/flesh
it just aint possible without first being so very close to the lord. The enemy attacks marriages all the day long. Safe haven is not marriage , it always has and will always ONLY be IN THE LORD and knowing him as the God he is can and will be to and for you, alone, single or married
Then you understand you have the best most loving marriage in the world, what can you not depend on him for? how can he fail you?
I think before you can ever stand with A MAN,
Because anyone with any wisdom knows marriage is NOT the happily ever after fairytail, he is JUST A MAN, you first have to have a close relationship with the LORD and know God in a very intimate way or you could never stand with man/fleshit just aint possible without first being so very close to the lord. The enemy attacks marriages all the day long. Safe haven is not marriage , it always has and will always ONLY be IN THE LORD and knowing him as the God he is can and will be to and for you, alone, single or married
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Irresistible
New Member
There will ALWAYS be 'inner' work for us to do as well
both Married, to STAY married and while single
we will ALL always be a work in progress and NONE of us have arrived, if we are still here we aint arrived yet.
wish we could all love eachother a little more through it all. Married ladies you are not exempt from one day standing alone, just you and the LORD, so sow some love now in your 'unaloneness' so you can be sure to reap that harvest when and if the time comes for you
God has it all under control, wherever we are with him, in whatever stage/state/SEASON we find ourselves in, whatever we need to work out to get from point a to point b, and on and on, he is in control.
both Married, to STAY married and while single
we will ALL always be a work in progress and NONE of us have arrived, if we are still here we aint arrived yet.
wish we could all love eachother a little more through it all. Married ladies you are not exempt from one day standing alone, just you and the LORD, so sow some love now in your 'unaloneness' so you can be sure to reap that harvest when and if the time comes for you
God has it all under control, wherever we are with him, in whatever stage/state/SEASON we find ourselves in, whatever we need to work out to get from point a to point b, and on and on, he is in control.
GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I
New Member
You said you desired to be married and I said that if a person didn't desire to be married, he wouldn't seek marriage. People here act as though it's WRONG to seek marriage as evidence they are not seeking G-d. Yes, my post was a generality and I said that past the "desiring a mate," it was not specifically aimed at you. I actually agree with you.
The following, not to you Arr1216:
Yes, there is a condescending attitude here regarding what some people think as the truth. People dish it out, run, hide behind a wall of piety and then try to make the other feel they are to blame, all the while believing they are doing someone good. The people are afraid the threads will be locked. See what I mean? Christians ARE influenced by the world around them. Sigh.....
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Let's be very clear that you have not seen any chastisement coming from any of my posts nor have I questioned your relationship with the Lord.
Per the bolded: that's great that you don't feel the pressure. I say to you again in love and truth that if you're not careful, meaning that you don't have a godly balance, the pressures can overwhelm you like it did me. I'm sharing what I went through so you don't have to!
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Irresistible
New Member
Let's be very clear that you have not seen any chastisement coming from any of my posts nor have I questioned your relationship with the Lord. I can boldly say that I'm still waiting on the Lord and I've been waiting for a LONG TIME. I haven't been jumping around from bed to bed and I haven't been a serial monogamist.
Per the bolded: that's great that you don't feel the pressure. I say to you again in love and truth that if you're not careful, meaning that you don't have a godly balance, the pressures can overwhelm you like it did me. I'm sharing what I went through so you don't have to!So you can see the signs and avoid the pitfalls.
This very same breaking point that you reached can happen to so many of us over so many things, just when we think the LORD has taken too long or asked too much and things get too hard
it can happen over relationships, jobs, family, money, health, marriages, kids, death, and on and on
we all have to be careful not to crash over such things, but you know what, when I think about it , each time I crashed, I came up better, so there is a blessing in the crash , that nobody can give to you, less you feel it, live and call on God for yourself through such a crash
This very same breaking point that you reached can happen to so many of us over so many things, just when we think the LORD has taken too long or asked too much and things get too hard
it can happen over relationships, jobs, family, money, health, marriages, kids, death, and on and on
we all have to be careful not to crash over such things, but you know what, when I think about it , each time I crashed, I came up better, so there is a blessing in the crash , that nobody can give to you, less you feel it, live and call on God for yourself through such a crash
True....
and yet, you'd be surprised to know that some folk don't always bounce back. Or they don't bounce back all the way.... Spend any time in ministry, meaning a position where you may be privy to hearing about people's situations... or even just how people open up... people open up to me and I tell you...some of the situations that people share....wow....
Or...some people are walking around thinking they're ok... they're healed and whole... and they're not.... they are medicating themselves with (legal) drugs and activities of choice, e.g., FOOD (mine was food)....
I had got so low that I couldn't call on the Lord anymore. I couldn't call on Him and I wasn't TRYING TO call on Him...I was leaving my right mind. but my God... the Lord must have reached back for some prayers I prayed when I was in my right mind and He honored those prayers.
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
I wonder a lot about the bolded/italicized. I feel like we are given many mixed messages, on one hand that we are to ask and wait, on the other hand that we have to be out there--not developing friendships--but becoming romantically involved with various people until we happen across the one.
But I've seen Christians who basically said that they were done with all that and wanted the Lord to preserve their heart for their spouse alone, and lo and behold, that is exactly what came to pass...without all the confusion and wondering.
Irresistible
New Member
I hear you girl and know just what your saying because I too have been there over other things, and just like you he reached out for me, or I must have left just a crack open or something
your right we have so many pains, battles and struggles on so many layers at times its wild
Thankful we have him and know that with him and through him we can overcome it all
day by day
from Glory to Glory
Irresistible
New Member
I agree , on another thread in OT ,about Marriage, there were lots of posts about getting out there and doing this and that to make it happen, but then where is that leaving it to God?
I mean if we are trusting him, then he surely can make two people's path cross at the right time, even at a gas station, grocery store , whatever, just through reg old daily life happening, the whole thread was like 'do this and you need to do that' I never responded on it, but it does leave out the whole 'God is able' kinda thing
discobiscuits
New Member
hopefully no one inferred that from anything i've said. i've only tried to express that being preoccupied with marriage or finding a mate is what is damaging, not the desire for a mate/marriage. i don't think that desiring to be married or seeking a mate is wrong at all. i just want to be clear that i was only commenting about when seeking marriage/mate is so strong that it usurps putting God first.
i hope i was able to get that across in my earlier posts.
moving on....
additionally, some of what Paul taught in his writings was his opinion. he even made it a point in one passage to explicitly differentiate between his opinion and the Lord's direction (1 Cor 7:10 & 12). i'm not saying that his opinion is not inspired by God i'm just pointing out that even he made clear what he desired for God's people vs. what God specifically instructed and his desires do not conflict with or negate God's instructions (another example 1 Cor 7:26).
bottom line: there is nothing wrong with wanting a mate or wanting to be married. just don't get to the point that FS mentioned in her post. i know that so many of us can relate to what she said.
sometimes just b/c someone prays to God and asks Him for his permission or guidance does not always mean that person is putting Him first (in that area of concern). sometimes people have their own agenda (in a specific area) and try to bring God in as a co-conspirator instead of the author and finisher. i know i've done that - more than once.
true. (even though i know you meant that comment specifically about the locked thread comment) it should be the other way around as we are supposed to be the light of the world.
Matthew 5:13-16
GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I
New Member
But isn't that kinda like asking G-d to make you a surgeon and you never go to medical school? We are in a partnership in creation...it's ongoing. Being fruitful and multiplying...requires work on our part as well. I believe that G-d will place whomever, friend, foe, opportunities, tragedies...in the life of anyone He so desires. That still doesn't mean we're to sit back waiting for some miracle to happen. The "miracle" might happen while we're working on things.
GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I
New Member
Rather, life in general, locked thread was only a very small example. People are more influenced by the world than they think. Transformation of the mind ...doesn't mean one suddenly becomes a walking spirit. Cultures, events change...people pick up on that and live within it. That's why I agree with Bunny on the effects of present-day culture on marriage.
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